Everyone ♥’s an Asian Boy
April 18th, 2008 ·
Ready? Cue the completely 100% politically incorrect blog post. Brown loves yellow. Well, at least that’s what a dating site for black and Asian singles — brilliantly called cocoabutterlove.com ( … Get it? Cocoa = brown = black people + Butter = yellow = Asian people …) — is banking on. I think they’re on to something. Hell, if you and I are friends on Facebook, you already know that I’ve recently joined the groups: Asian Men that ♥ Black Women, You and Me…..We could make BLASIANS!, A.B.A. (AsIaN BlAcK AlLiAnCe), and of course Everyone ♥’s an Asian Boy.
A while ago, my friend Karen — a proper, bourgie black chick in Chicago — embarked on a relationship with a sexy Asian-American man. “OMG, Karen,” I told her, “You know you’re gonna be known as that black girl with the Asian boyfriend, right? That’s totally gonna be your new title when people identify you. ‘You know … Karrrreeen … my friend with the Asian boyfriend.’“Clearly, she didn’t get the memo. Chicago is segregated as hell.
That’s one of the many reasons why I live in New York City.
Speaking of New York, last night my eyeballs love love LOVED looking at the sexy Asian-American (?) bartender with dreadlocks at In the Flesh Erotic Reading Series at Happy Ending Lounge on the Lower East Side. He used his strong arms to shake my cocktail before placing the filled, chilled glass on the bar. I wished he would’ve doused my warm brown skin with the liquid then licked it off with his soft tongue as I played with his dark hair. He oozed sex appeal. Now, before anyone accuses me of having yellow fever or some stupid shit like that, let me say this … As a black woman who has tasted delicious dudes from Northern Irish flavors to my fellow, brown-skinned American yummies, I love men. ALL (attractive) men. I haven’t had an Asian American boyfriend yet, but here are five reasons I think it’s time for the Asian-American male community to get down with the brown:
1. THE HAROLD & KUMAR MOVIES ARE THE NEW FRIDAY. Kal Penn? Fucking sexy. John Cho. Cutie pie. Buh-bye Chris Tucker and Ice Cube. Friday is so yesterday.
2. IT’S TRENDY. In the 80s, interracial dating meant “a black man dating a white woman.” America is over it. OJ Simpson killed it. Literally. (Kidding, of course!!!) The newest, freshest interracial pairings are all about black women lovingly interlacing differently shaded fingertips between our own.
3. IT’S SMART. NO REALLY, IT IS. Want a stupid stereotype? Asian men are smarter. Want another one? Successful black women are more likely to be single because all the black men are either unemployed, lazy, in jail or lazily unemployed in jail. I say fuck the folks who say shitty things about Asian men and Black women. Better yet? Asian men and black women should fuck each other … in bed, or against a wall, or on the floor … Yum!
4. WE BOTH BELONG TO MINORITY COMMUNITIES. Backing the political rantings of bloggers like Angry Asian Man with the strength of march-happy female EBPs? It could be powerful. We could change the world! Or, at the very least, we can supply it with very beautiful BlAsian babies.
5. BECAUSE I SAID SO. Folks, if you hear something on FUNKYBROWNCHICK.com, take it as gospel. Now, quick, somebody please help Funky Brown Chick find Sexy Asian Man.
——————–
Photo credit: “You and Me … We Could Make Blasians” Facebook Group
April 18th, 2008 ·
April 18th, 2008 | 
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Hi, I'm 
LOL…..
Above all else find your happiness young grasshopper….
Is david carradine even have any asian blood? or has he been perping all these years?
Yellow fever? Bwahahaaa!!
I say go for it! As a matter of fact, you should go back for that hot bartender!!
And just think about what cute BABIES you would make? Awwww! ;o)
Asian men? really? I’ve never lusted after one since Bruce Lee (and his equally hot son) but they’re both gone. Oh wait- that actor… what’s his name… RUSSELL WONG *sigh* besides those dudes I haven’t met one that has caught my eye.
Where did you say that bartender was again? lol
Oh- and are we including Indian men in the Asian category? ‘Cause yeah, they’re a dime a dozen in my neighborhood and once in a while I see a hottie… they tend to stick together, though, know what I mean? I usually prefer Indian men from West Indian countries… *roar* Now THAT’S wht I call Eye Candy!!
it’s not only you who has a things on cute asian guys. there’s so many on tv now. and it’s not only Jin from “Lost”, LOL.
one that i love is Ken Watanabe (Memoirs of a Geisha/Last Samurai).
and it’s not only in looks that asian guys are getting my attention. i just recently fell in love with Haruki Murakami. Have you ever read anything from him?
Right on!
I haven’t wanted to be an asian man so much since the first time I saw Enter the Dragon. Very funny, and beautifully put!
@ dkzone: Okay, I know that guy by face, not by his name. I was like, “Who the hell is David Carradine? So I had to look him up. TOTALLY know who he is now. I’m not 100% sure, but I think he’s not at all Asian. Wikipedia agrees.
@ AmyD: Yeah, that bartender was hot!! :)
@ The Jaded NYer: Oh, hell yeah! The desis DEFINITELY count. John Fucking Abraham? I wanna lick him.
@ Carolina Pereira: Oooooooh, Ken Watanabe? GOOD choice in men, my friend! But, Haruki Murakami? The old guy????
@ Christopher: Enter the Dragon was good, but the The Last Dragon was even better!!! “Who’s the baddest mo-fo, low down, around this town?“
Great post! Absolutely fucking great.
When life hands you lemons, you make lemonade. When life hands you a city full of mixed ethnicities, you make… stew!
5 reasons I love this post:
1. A photo of not just one but two babies!
2. “We could make BLASIANS!” is always gonna crack me up.
3. I’m so glad you had fun at the reading and got your crush on.
4. If you have Blasian babies, I will get to babysit!
5. Your kickass attitude. If I run across any hot Asian guys, I’ll send them your way.
a lot of good things come from asia, like, sushi, asian food in general, buddha, yoga, the kama sutra, curry, tantric sex, bruce lee, jackie chan, jet li, the name lee and chan, origami, martial arts, hentai, ziyi zhang, honda, casio, nintendo and according to marco polo, spaghetti(?), too.
“Blasians”? How ’bout “Asiacks”? Nah, sounds like a souring powder.
A. That bartender was hot! I dare you to ask for his number next time.
B. I dated an Asian guy once before. He was a pathalogical liar, but cute nonetheless.
C. I feel you about loving ALL men. As long as you’re working with the right equipment, I don’t care what color that equipment is!
D. I used letters because Rachel already used numbers.
Bah! Why couldn’t Asian dudes have been hot when I was younger? Way back when we were just asexual geeks.
First things first. I concur that if I were friends with FBC on Facebook I would be well aware of what groups she’d recently joined. However I am not friends with FBC on facebook >:P (hint hint) Yes its lame but you can’t blame me for trying.
Asian men are not soemthing I would normally go for. It depends on the man.
Takeshi Kaneshiro? Yes please. Rain? Not so much.
Beautiful blasian babies? SURE!
@ Aka “Paul”: I’m eatin’ stew, baby. I’m eating!! ;)
@ Rachel Kramer Bussel: WE NEED TO GET YOU KNOCKED UP!!!!!!!!! :)
@ melo: You’re something special.
@ Baba Doodlius: Yeah, Blasians DEF sounds better than Asiacks.
@ Desiree: Girl, I soooooooo wouldn’t ask the dude for his number. I like that place. No need to make it awkward for myself by hitting on the hand that feeds me drinks. :)
@ super dave: You’re too cute.
@ Grace: Friend me!! Oh, yeah, and Takeshi Kaneshiro? GORGEOUS!!
You are officially a hot mess, FBC! But kudos to you for being true to you and open about it. Somebody get this girl some hot Asian action!
STAT!!
nice post. you gals want to see the hottest asian guy on the planet. check him out. hot stuff! http://youtube.com/watch?v=rJYYohaRxek
lol… perhaps NY has much better picking of Asian men than Toronto? There are TONS of Asian men here but none are sexy or even remotely dateable :P
Asian Girls were an early mention on stuffwhitepeople like. So maybe it is a trend for all of us..
I love the word Blasians,and hope it will become part of my vocabulary. A welcome addition to the world would be more actual Blasians.. I think the apparent increase in interracial dating is one of the few good things happening in a world that doesn’t seem to have a lot of good things going on..Trendy it may well be but healthy for certain. May it continue.
Just an observation that might confirm what you say. Years ago a black white couple would almost always be white woman, black man. Many more white men, black women couples are now visible. Or am I just looking for them? Toronto is quietly segregated, not as apparent as Chicago.. But the walls can come down anytime..
I understand why Asian men and Black women would want to hook up since they are the least likely groups in America to get married but do you think that the media is trying to destroy both of our communities by constantly showing images of Blacks and Asians in relationships with people of other races? Are they trying to make us believe the only way we can find happiness is if we are with someone of a different ethnic background? I am talking about this to on my Podcast/blog check it out.
life is what you make of it…… and the joy of life is looking into each corner and
tasting each part …… it doesnt matter who,what ,when,where or why….. if you dig
the guy or lady….. go for it….. if you figure that the world has been around for
a number of years…. and at one time …. all the land masses were kinda close
people roamed….. some fought and some loved….. do you have any idea just
how many ” mixup-mixup” there are out there….. if Obama and The Vice Prez
are related…. guess how many of us are….. racism is such a waste….. love is
really the answer….. if you are lucky enough to find a partner,then go and have
a blast….. life is way too short to cheat yourself out of a fine romance….
and color dont matter….. but … the flavor ….. does…..
lamesabassman…….. go…. have a taste….. life is good…
Love it!!!
Can’t wait to see Harold & Kumar myself…
Haha, you know you’re Bougie when you write bouRgie.
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=bougie
Only speakers of ‘Blingo’ (aka Bougie Ebonics) add the R. ;-)
Yeah b*tch, I’s a whigga! Word!
PS Asian men? I thought you were ‘chasing the big ones’ these days?
@ Peggy b.: A bourgie hot mess! ;)
@: keri: THANKS for the link!!!
@ asian girl: Hating on the Asian men in Toronto? :(
@ don: Yeah, totally noticed that, too.
@ Larry: Will def check out your blog. You asked, “Is the media is trying to destroy both of our communities by constantly showing images of Blacks and Asians in relationships with people of other races?” I’d say no. But, it’s okay to disagree.
@ lamesabassman: Love really IS the answer.
@ Zen: I soooo can’t wait to see
@ ErrorBoy: Bougie, bourgie. Whatevs. For the record, the word is bourgeois so TECHNICALLY I guess bourgie is the correct spelling.
I love actor Ken Watanabe and Sanjay Gutpa from CNN and that cute guy I saw in the movies 7 months ago. I guess I’ve had “yellow fever” for a long time! :-)
Keep rockin’ it! :)
@FBC, you know it’s bourgeois, I know it too, but the
people who call you a bougie coconut don’t ;-)
WTH. Why can’t Black women just date Non-Black men because they find the other guy attractive.
If you don’t like my post, stop talking crap about black men.
now…now…. one person’s ceiling is another’s floor….. the secret is… men will be
men and women will be women……. unless fully cured, all of us ( at one time or
another ) have been no ” Day at the Beach ” to somebody…… dig this: we all have
major baggage….. K….. now…. unless fully cured…. you may think you’re cool…
but … you are the only one in the room that thinks so…. you are so in the zone
that you faked a major move ( and lost brownie points )….. you forgot to be real.
instead you became the flavor of the week…. ” Rocky Road “….. bumps in the
sheets….. hellacool….. bumps on the way to a relationship…. endgame.
and color has NOTHING TO DO WITH IT….. if you is a little shit…. you is a little
shit….. and … the smell do tell
so …. let’s leave thoughts like that to persons much qualified to handle such
heavy lifting….. morons……
lamesabassman…….. don’t fake the funk….. live it.
@ ErrorBoy: But, no one’s ever called me bougie coconut. :)
@ WTH: Okay, you lost me. What’s with the “If you don’t like my post, stop talking crap about black men” stuff? What post? And when have I ever talked crap about black men?
@ lamesabassman: Ooooh, did you see that movie Fakin Da Funk?
Blasian are cute, I have a lot of blasian cousins.
And Asian men are sexy.
@ dee: Are any of your Blasian cousins single, male New Yorkers? :)
Join the club(s)I think you just might be my sister from another mother! I realized/admitted recently that I just dig MEN, period. End of story. All different colors and ethnicities. I really have a thing for Asian guys if/when “dating out” No apology for it, but Asian dudes are THE HOTNESS! They have their own Crazy-sexy, cool!
Errorboy: Not sure if you are alluding to the myth that all Asian dudes have “teeny weenies” or not by the comment “I thought you were chasing the big ones these days” Trust me that is JUST a myth, it’s like saying all Black dudes are hung like horses, I can PROMISE you that’s a myth too! FunkyBrownChick, one of the ladies in a group I moderate gave me a link to your blog, I diggs the hell out of it! One more group for you (card carrying member here!) Power Couples: Asian Men and Black women. Two strong, together Asian males co-moderate. Asian guys actually POST in this group, unlike some of the others where it’s mostly the women. So check it out, it’s on Yahoo.
Yeah, I feel you on the hot Desi’s. Sugar Sammy, the Canadian comedian–The ultimate hotty! I mostly like those S.E. Asian dudes though, it’s a long freakin’ list, too long for this post…BTW, Russell Wong, while he is happa and presently married to a lovely Asian woman, has only one child by a sister, whom he used to date years ago. Tommy Chong- happa also, black wife, mother of his children. The Chinese Jamaican population and many in the Southern United States in the latter part of the 1800’s, the product of Asian men and black women…Must not be “too small” for a lot of us, past and present.
I, too, prefer the more masculine Asian men–I don’t like the androgenous (sp) pop stars they promote.Bi/Rain, would not tickle my fancy, but neither does Justin Timberlake. John Cho, ahh, he IS a cutie pie! You should check him out in the Korean gangster drama, “W.32nd street” Also, there are clips of Joe Doughtry’s “Akira’s Hip Hop Shop” on Youtube and on his website. That very cute guy from Hero’s is the male lead in it. Good stuff ya’ll. Keep up the good work, I’ll drop in from time to time. Cause I like how you roll girlie!
Oh forgot to add: Check out 72nd to Canal on Youtube. Funny stuff, some cute Asian dudes in that too!
Okay, I sooooooo love the links in your post!!! :) Love your comment, in general, too. :)
By the way, I’m loving on the guy at the minute 3:11 in this clip: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jaMPCfqmX9k
This post was spot on! I’m a desi brown chick who has been attracted to asian (in particular, a Chinese guy) as of late. Was kinda weirded out about it in the beginning to be honest…but like you: I like guys of all types, and damn there are some sexy Asian dudes out there!
There are!!! :)
Right back at ya Miss FBC! Now for some love for the S.E. Asian dudes…The big dude in this ROCKS, it starts out one way, he shows up midway thru and turns it OUT!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rJGyCPkcy1U&feature=related
The clip came from one of my most frequented Asian American Info spots, none other than Angyr Asian Man.
http://www.angryasianman.com/
Glad you enjoyed the links. I tried to see who you mentioned in that clip, but it wasn’t working. I like the former roomate and the new roomate-both are cutie pies.
My friend Vijiya sent that clip to me on Facebook. I *LOVE* it!!! The audience did, too, because they were all going wild!
And, yeah, I’m a huge fan of Angry Asian Man’s site! I made him one of my Manly Mondays! :)
Your friend Vijiya isn’t also an aspiring stand up comedian by any chance is she? Must be coincidental that she shares the name of one of my favorite S.E. Asian female comedians. OMG, Girlfriend is too funny!
http://www.vijaicomedy.com/about.html
Ooh, I see now, the spelling is different.
Sounds like a good idea to me. I’m writing (i.e. re-reporting from Racialicious) about this on my blog right now.
@ Just Maria: Not the same person, but the spelling is close.
@ Bianca Reagan: I love Racialicious. :)
[...] and relationships columnist Twanna Hines decreed in a hilarious (and much quoted) post on her blog FunkyBrownChick that it was “time for the Asian American male community to get down with the brown.” “My [...]
GREAT article. Thanks for the link love!
[...] and share recipes. Hmmm … Beauty, brains, a sense of humor AND he can cook??? We should make blasians! Baby Funky [...]
Okay, I’m late to the party but I wanted to add Takeshi Kaneshiro to the “Hot Asian Dude” list. Mmm…House of Flying Daggers!
Ooooh, he’s really cute, too!! :)
Thank you so much for this post…I thought I was the only brownie with the hots for the yellows. Here in Ohio it doesn’t seem like there’s too many opportunities to mix it up all like that, but I’m still trying. Maybe I’ll have to make a trip to New York, or better yet the Bay area. Hey, have you seen Sukiyaki Western Django? Stupid ass movie…hot ass Asian dudes.
Hey Twanna,
I’m white. I hope you don’t mind. I used to think I was frustrated black because of my kinky hair and super cool dance moves. :)
Anyway, I love your writing style. How entertaining! I’m older now and not as daring in public, but your words made me feel younger again. Thanks. I enjoyed reading your blog.
Have a happy holiday season!
Lynn
http://www.lynnslink.com