Men With Accents
May 9th, 2008 ·
Last night, I went to Cupcake Social 2.0 and Media Meshing. Mini cakes and beer all night long. I’m totally gonna have to kick it anorexic style for the next three weeks to get in shape for bikini season. I swear I think: If I weighed more, I’d be less attractive. If I weighed less, I’d be more attractive. No, I’m not a moron. And, yes, I already know that’s a fucked up attitude and I’m not even overweight. I’m thin by midwestern standards, and slightly “curvy” by Manhattan rule books. But, whatever. That is what it is. I’ll just say this: if I ever tip 125, I swear to Buddha I’ll start running miles around the track at Central Park — breathless, smelly clothes, feet pounding the path, drippy forehead and all — like a fucking mad woman. Why? Because insecurities are ugly.
Wait. What the hell was I talking about? Sorry for the fatphobic tangent there. I planned to talk about men with accents today, but then I got off track. I started talking about last night, the cupcakes, the beer, Central Park. Whatever. Okay, so, LAST NIGHT … After the cupcakes and beer, I went home and my phone started ringing at Booty Call O’clock. It was this British guy I went on a couple dates with several weeks ago. In recent weeks, he’s taken to calling and texting me in the midnight hour. One message said something like: “Fancy a small party?” Um, I take it that would be a party of five: me, him, his dick and his two round testicles. I didn’t call him back.
From a European man, The Angry German, who writes for Esquire:
Women seem to take the English accent as an aphrodisiac. I can say, “Hey, I work for an investment bank, have my own place, and write a column in Esquire magazine” and get no response. Whereas butt-ugly Mr. Winterbottom to my side says, “Hey, I am on parole and need to buy some coke — care to help me out?” As long as he says it with a Brit accent, it is guaranteed that she will go home with him and fund his cocaine addiction.
Smart. Funny. Sexy. God, I love Esquire. And, yes, I need to date better men. Anyway, read the rest of the Angry German’s rant here.
Hi, I'm 
hehe…..”booty call oclock…”
LOL Booty Call O’Clock, I’m waiting to use that in a sentence now! Perhaps I’m just too used to it but a British accent does nothing for me! An Irish one on the other hand… :D
Oh Heavens! In the UK we prefer the term ‘Half Past Lonely’ whereas you Americans prefer ‘Single past 30′
Bugger, of course I meant to write ‘Single 30′
If you “ever tipped 125 you’ll run miles around Central Park?
Girl… I tipped 125 and stomped on that sucker ages ago, but I hear you!
Great to meet you at the cupcake social last night - I’m sure we’ll run into each other again. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m gonna hit the treadmill (ok, I’m lying!)
now…now… love …. having a go on the fly is strong….. but .. to do a bootay call
at anytime after dark 30…. you had better be hellacool …… dancing da mambo
to the dawn’s early light …. am hoping for an out-of-body experience to the wall
’cause … if you gives it … am gonna make it real sure to express myself on the
down stroke….. but … since, you mos def know what brand of hot sauce you crave….. you take a pass to avoid a charge….. now … be a sweet and tell us just what stirs your Starbucks in the pale moonlight….. just what rates a dark 30 house call…. with no timeouts…. and no subs……
lamesabassman……. the clock’s ticking,love……
besides….. from what I see of you in the pixs…..” you have nothing to fear, but,
fear itself…”
ain’t no ting , do your thing……and if they can’t hang… they don’t need a taste….
lamesabassman…….. roll it,like ya stole it……
I wonder if growing up in Miami made me immune to the lure of accents. So much of the population (permanent as well as visiting) sound like they are from somewhere else. I wonder if any other TRUE Miamians or native New Yorkers are the same way.
love love love the british accent :)
i’m curvy too, and this year i finally decided that, even though i could weight 10 pounds less, i have to like what i am. i’m even buying a new bikini :)
@ dkzone: :)
@ Darwin: Oooooh, Irish accents rock!
@ ErrorBoy: I love the word “bugger.”
@ Nichelle: Great meeting you, too!! :) We sooooo have to get together and hang out again soon. Maybe at the next party!! :) This is fun, I now know *two* Nichelle. :)
@ lamesabassman: Dark 30. Roll it like you stole it. I like it.
@ Peggy b.: Hey, hey, hey now. Don’t pretend you don’t love the boys with accents, too. ;) I happen to know you married a man with a passport that does not match your own. :) But, you may be on to something. I certainly didn’t hear a lot of accents growing up on the middle of nowhere Mississippi and Illinois.
@ Carolina Pereira: Bikinis are fun!! I’m going to go bikini shopping once it gets warmer. I’m taking my camera with me and post the pictures.
I am always fascinated by the attraction to British accent but I live here so it doesn’t do anything for me.
I get you on the whole weight thing - I’m not overweight and I’m actually quite slim except for my post c-section tummy. But….I live in hope because all of that hula hooping and carrying on on the Wii Fitness seems to have helped as I am toning up…I type this with some sweets in my mouth though…
Sh*t - I owe you an email! Big sh*t a gwan ;-)
Ok, yeah, I married a man with an accent. But believe me, that was not what attracted me to him. Funnily enough, the Scottish accent does absolutely nothing for me. (As I’m sure you came across some horrible regional English accents that did nothing for you while you were on this side of the pond).
But I really do think that being around people with accents all the time made it less sexy, less exotic, less interesting. I think you may need to do a survey and see if I’m right on whether locale has an influence on whether accents appeal to one’s sexual tastes.
still wondering….. just what stirs your Starbucks in the pale moonlight….. now
I’d bet my Captain Midnight decoder ring that while you may be picky…. you do
know what you like…. and been looking for some time…. you know,love, it’s when
it finds you…. rather than you find it…. at times,looking kinda makes guys soooo
scared that they don’t know what they have got until it’s gone….. and the way you
have been turning corners…. the good ones get a little winded…. and stop stone
cold…… slow your roll and flash that kilowatt smile…. and watch them hone in
to what’s expected to be da’ mother of allllll loves…. the earth will move…the
dollar will rise…. the price of gas will drop and it will rain Godiva chocolates…
for days….. and I needs my chocolates,babe…..
lamesabassman…… tick…tock…. tick … tock…. red lite/green lite…1..2..3
YES YES YES!!! The parolee with a coke habit and a sexy accent will ALWAYS catch my attention… is that so wrong?
my other favorite accents:
West Indian
Italian
Southern (not the dopey ones, but the swagger-filled ones… yum!)
English accent sexy? Cor blimey, Guv.
Funny you should talk about English accents in the same week that I’ve developed a serious crush on Daniel Craig. And the new Bachelor? Have you checked him out? Cutie pie!
P.S. The best thing I ever did for my body image was go to a nude beach. You’ll take one look around and say to yourself “What was I worried about?”. Trust me.
now….. guys…. and/or ladies….. we all know just what accent melts your butter…
Latino…… nothing in this whole wide,wide world of sports would have me part
with my time and money is when someone purrs in my ear than….” ay popi’ ” ….
sound,air moving to my ear …and thru it…. the scent of the moment….
whoa,nellie …… and before I err in judgement …. anyone from New Orleans area
on a hot summer’s night with nothing on either’s mind, but good food and deep
thoughts… like: eyes deep as yours
have no territories
but hold many stories
and take no prisoners…..
lamesabassman……. love is the deepest accent that anyone can understand….
@ NML: You’re too funny. No worries about the email. I know we’ll connect soon. :) And, yeah, I know what you mean about accents from your own home doing nothing for you. The American accent does nothing for me. Every other accent? Sexy!
@ Peggy b.: I totally think you’re on to something there! If you’re around something all the time, it’s less exotic & it kills the whole “unusual” or “new” factor. Might write about this again soon.
@ lamesabassman: :)
@ The Jaded NYer: NO it’s not so wrong! :) West Indian (and Indian) are hot. The Italian accent totally MELTS me. Not a fan of the southern accent, but I grew up in Mississippi. So, yeah, that totally supports Peggy B’s stuff about not being attracted to accents that are really familiar.
@ Baba Doodlius: LOVE IT!!! You couldn’t see it, but my panties just slide to the floor just now. ;)
@ Desiree: OMG!!! The image of Daniel Craig walking on the beach in the last 007 movie? THAT’S what made me launch “Manly Mondays” a little less than two years ago!!! I’m not kidding. See, look. And, I soooo know what you mean about nude beaches.
@ lamesabassman: Two comments = Two :) :) and, yeah, the Spanish accent is sexxxxxxy. :)
I love you for that post! When the new Bond film comes out later this year, we totally have to see it together!
YES!!!! We soooo have to see it!!! :) I’ve been a 007 fan since the P. Brosnan days.
I’m late but I have to say that ‘Booty Call O’Clock’ has just officially entered my vocabulary.
Also accents are Sexy for me, British ones even more so. As well as any accent from a Latin based language (French, Spanish, Italian, Portuguese etc.) Outside of that like say a Russian accent - is jusy ‘meh’ for me.
wow…. booty call o’clock….. to beckon one to share one’s time,love and body is a
beautiful moment….. and that’s only if you wish to….. yeah, I know, if you can’t
be with the one you love… love the one you’re with….. you could do that all day
and twice on Sunday … and afterwards … how do you feel as the lights go down
low and you’re still by yourself….. it’s good to have fun…. just hope that the one
you’re having fun with really cares to have fun with you… and not just shaging
you ’cause you’re the fifth person they called and you answered….. a booty call
is a ” I want to spend some time with you ’cause I care that much for you ” and
because someone wants to play ” hide the salami ” to get that call gives you a
glow that’s stays for a long time…. and if it’s after dark 30… you’re golden…
lamesabassman…… excuse me… gotta take this call…..
Gosh I wish I could ever hit 125lbs! I’m only 5′3” but have always been a curvy girl. The lowest I got to was 136 and then I was a size 10 on the bottom (UK) and bordering 8 on the top. I think i’m just built this way and there’s no way I could maintain any lower. Back then I was working out 4, maybe 5 days a week, pretty intensly. I had great definition in my muscles. But I got to a point (read meeting the BF and having too many nights out!) where I relaxed a little and have put on some extra padding.
Grrrr…currrently trying to regain my previous curvy but harder body! Finding it hard to be as motivated as I used to be. I’ll never be one of those people who can ‘get away’ with eating bad things for a while, seems like every calorie is clocked and absorbed into my hips and thighs! I have friends who are 110 lbs and eat crisps and chocolate every day and never put on a pound, wheras my meals need to be based around lots of veg and some protein if I am to maintain a certain weight. With vigorous excercise constantly! I really think my body just has a tendancy to put on weight very easily…life can be unfair! But then again, i’ve never had any problem getting dates or boyfriends so I shouldn’t feel too bad!
@ Grace: Happy to do anything I can to broaden the American vocab. :) And, yeah, the British accent is like honey: I wanna pour it all over me and have someone lick it off. ;)
@ lamesabassman: Hope the call was a good one.
@ Wendy Juniper: I sooo know what you mean. And, yeah, everyone’s body is different and we all can weight in unique ways.
it was from my posse in Barbados …. checkin’ me fer a pulse …. they want me down for a holiday ……. they said that it’s been a while since I went on a lime
with them….. told them I’ll be down by October 31….. everybody suits up for that
gig…. went to Maui for Oct.31 last year…… if you never been … ya gotta go… they all suit up there ,too….
and .. if you like honey…. come to B’dos… when we speak.. we flow sweet.. stah..
lamesabassman……. ” no woman…. no cry…..”
125lb. oh the college days of eating pizza at 2 am. Now I walk everywhere and swim 2-3 a week just to stay between 145- 150.
Accents, I am over them now. Now a solid 401K plan does it for me.
http://todaystyle.today.com/
Alicia, yeah, I used to eat brownies for dinner when I was in college. Those days are goooone. But, in the larger scheme of things, I guess that’s a good thing. :) I’m heathier now.