Do the Right Thing and Be My Black Kate Moss Tonight
I. Fucking. Love. New York!! Okay, so, I’m like toiling away in front
of my computer yesterday, right? Ordinary day. I get an email from the ever fabulous Kathryn Finney from Budget Fashionista. Her offer? “Wanna go to a party?” Moi? Party? Of course! “Spike Lee is the guest of honor and Kanye West is performing,” she says. Oh, hell yeah! I love Kanye West. And, Spike Lee. Fast forward a couple of hours and I’m on the east side of Manhattan at Guastavino’s on the corner of 1st Ave and 59th Street. I text Kathryn. “They R checking ppl @ the door. What do I say? Am I on list?” She tells me she’s in a cab on 2nd Avenue and 63rd, but her husband should already be there. He’s a tall man wearing a green hat. Somewhere in the crowd. Find him. He’s got the password. If not the password, at least he’s got words for conversation while we wait for Kathryn.
Kathryn arrives. So does Spike Lee. We all walk on the red carpet. I whip out my Flipcam to shoot Spike, but I fumble and I’m too late. All I get is an ass shot of Spike walking toward the door to the party. (Sidenote: Spike has a nice ass.) Inside, I find out that the event is commemorating G-Shock’s 25th Anniversary. Apparently, Spike and graffiti writer Eric Haze have both designed couture of the wrist. And, Kanye west is a fan of the timepieces too. “Hmmm,” I tell myself, “must get one of those.” So, now feel like an asshole because I haven’t owned a watch since I wore Swatches, but fuck it if I’m not here drinking all of Casio’s cocktails and eating a boatload and a half of their hors d’oeuvres.
Holding a leg of lamb to my mouth with my right hand and a glass of champagne in my left, I huddle with a multiculti group of fashion women including Budget Fashionista, Coutorture, and a model who is quite possibly one of the most beautiful creatures on the face of the earth. I’m serious. She’s like a black Kate Moss. Which, of course, is appropriate because Kanye West is gonna perform in exactly 22 minutes at 8:15pm.
I’m standing next to the stage sardined in a crowd of people including a 5′7″ black man wearing a white hat and a 6′2″ white dude who looks JUST LIKE Christian Bale (as Patrick Bateman) in American Psycho. It’s 10pm. Still, no Kanye. “Maaaan,” I tell the shorter guy, “if this negro doesn’t come out here in the next hour, we should storm the stage.” He smiles. “We should storm the stage anyway,” he says. “Yeah,” I joke, “let’s get kicked out of here!!” Kanye comes out flocked by a group of 5 or 6 naked women clad only in clear, glass astronaut helmets. The short dude, my former Comrade in Arms says: “Get kicked out by your damn self. I’m not missing this!!!!!”
And, quite a concert it was. I wondered if Kanye had hemorrhoids because he stayed seated for so long, but he eventually got up and completely fucking killed the rest of the concert. Seriously. It was awesome. When it was over, I walked out with the crowd and picked up my gift bag before hailing a yellow taxicab home. Voila! My free goodies included … drum roll, please … a G-SHOCK watch!!! Never more shall the funky brown chick walk the streets of Manhattan with naked wrists. The folks at Casio know how to party. Now, quick, somebody help me: I’ve got a fuckload of video footage from last night. They’re all AVI files from my FlipCam. At home, Windows Media player plays audio but no video but I can see everything fine on my Flipcam. How can I see & edit the AVI Flipcam videos on a PC before uploading them online?
May 15th, 2008 at 10:13 am
that watch is so money….. wore them incountry back in the day…. and still have one on wrist right now….. and whenever THEY should ever drop the BIG ONE…
all that will be left are roaches, Twinkies…. and Casios…. they are that strong…
and hellacool…….
lamesabassman….. but, you… always know … what time it is…… love.
May 15th, 2008 at 10:22 am
Well, the way to answer that is whether or not he was sitting on a donut pillow.
Although, to be fair, I have one of those at work and it’s not for hemorrhoids - just sore ass.
May 15th, 2008 at 10:31 am
Miss Hobnobbery, I dub thee! Surprises like that are almost always a hoot. Can I use the word ‘hoot’ on this site and still maintain the facade that I’m fresh & tight — or whatever the current slang for cool is?
May 15th, 2008 at 12:28 pm
in a word….. hellacool…… works for me… but ” hoot” will work in a pinch….
lamesabassman…… still on da’ phone….
May 15th, 2008 at 2:53 pm
WMP won’t show an AVI? Are you sure? AVI is a very old video format, and I’m very surprised that Microsoft doesn’t provide a codec for it.
May 15th, 2008 at 3:26 pm
Try here - it may help with your WMP-AVI issue.
Hope that helps! Have a nice day!
May 15th, 2008 at 3:37 pm
WOW!! That is so damn cool. You must be so chuffed!
May 15th, 2008 at 9:01 pm
Can’t wait to see the videos! Kanye is a cool and courageous guy. Rock on, GF.
xoxo
May 16th, 2008 at 4:24 am
@ lamesabassman: Don’t forget Cher. She’ll always be here, too!
@ Amber: That actually looks REALLY comfortable!! Also, now that I’m editing the Kanye videos & watching them again, he ran around the stage and gave a killer concert toward the end of the show. Hmmm, maybe he stayed seated in the beginning to catch his breath & conserve energy. In any case, it was a good show.
@ Howard: Oh, trust me, I’m the furthest thing from cool. When I get excited about something, I’ll yell “Woot!! Woot!!” Eyes start shifting, and I get those uncomfortable “Um, WHY are you still saying THAT???” stares. Oh well. Woot! Woot!
@ lamesabassman: Seeeee, Howard? Hoot works.
@ Baba Doodlius: THANKS for the Find a Codec link!!! I appreciate it.
@ Darwin: Video coming soon. :)
@ Selina Fire: Hey lady!! :) I totally agree. And, yeah, there’s something undeniably sexy about Kayne. I’ve written about him on the FBC before. He’s great! By the way, speaking of good stuff, you looked AMAZING the other night!!
May 16th, 2008 at 1:50 pm
A better idea: get your new pal Spike to help you with your AVI trouble. I hear he’s into audio/visual stuff a little bit.
May 16th, 2008 at 8:59 pm
Awesome. I cannot wait to see Kanye live.
G-Shock watch also awesome. I’ve had one for ages and even though I don’t wear it anymore it still works.
Can’t wait for the video.
May 17th, 2008 at 10:58 am
@ Baba Doodlius: Spike and me, pal? Trust me, I WISH!!! :) He’s one of my favorite directors, and I really respect his work. He’s sexy.
@ Grace: Just finished editing it. Will post to Blip TV soon.
May 18th, 2008 at 6:33 am
Sounds like you had a fab time!!
I checked out your “girls talk” video. How fkn hot was that! Totally loved it.
Thanks :o)
May 18th, 2008 at 8:07 pm
No prob! We really had a ton of fun together. Shanda rocks!
May 21st, 2008 at 4:09 pm
I see Spike Lee on the street A LOT!! I guess his exwife lives on 63rd. I see him standing outside a brownstone waiting for his son on my way to the F train (just incase ya want another peek at his ass!) in the mornings. We always exchange glances, I’m sure he’s used to me gawking at him by now!
May 22nd, 2008 at 6:23 am
Lucky you!! He’s a cutie. :)