Boys & Girls Say The Damnedest Things
A guy in New York once told me, “I can imagine you were the ugly duckling when you were in high school.” Super confused, I asked, “What the f*ck is that? Is that supposed to be a compliment?” He got a little defensive and said, “Um, well, no. I mean, yeah. You know, the duckling turns into a swan, right? You’re a swan now. Get it?” I got it then. I get it now. Still, I think it’s kind of an odd thing to tell someone, no? Speaking of high school …
That’s a picture of me at 16. Found it stapled inside one of my old bound, written journals a short while ago. I know this is random but … Because I’m nosy, via Facebook I sometimes eavesdrop on my old HS folks’ conversations by reading their wall comments. Given that you’re nosy too — you are reading a blog about my life, aren’t you? — here’s an excerpt of a recent exchange between a cool Desi girl who always had the prettiest smile and a great peach dude who was a photographer on yearbook when I was one of the writers:
DESI GIRL’S VOLLEY
I ran for some sort of office in Jr. High and you told me I’d never make it b/c I wasn’t ‘popular’ enuff *haha…place your *gasp* here*…Anyhoo, hope all is well with you…
PEACH DUDE’S RESPONSE
Wow — I really said that? What an arse! Bad karma comes back to haunt you though–I think I lost 2 or 3 student council elections in high school, obviously because I wasn’t popular enough. Hmm well I promise you I am better now …
I’m sure he is. People change. People grow up. When I was younger, I called this one kid with thick glasses that made his eyes look really big “Froggy” because that’s how everyone teased him. Now that I think about it, that was unnecessarily petty, annoying and cruel. It’s the kind of thing that kid probably remembers much like the cool Desi girl kept those old junior high comments filed all these years. I’m no different. I remember a group of guys called me “Twanna the iguana who smokes marijuana while she plays with her friends in Tijuana” for damn near FOUR years during sixth grade, junior high and my freshman year of high school. At the time, I’d never smoked marijuana, I couldn’t point TJ out on a map and I’d never seen an iguana. Didn’t matter; I was still annoyed. And, of course, it got burned into my brain. What are some of the comments you’ve held on to for all these years?
May 29th, 2008 at 11:04 am
I remember a lot of the things kids called me or the things we called other kids and most of it seems funny or silly now. I can’t imagine still being angry over stuff like that years later.
When I was in junior high an older girl told everyone she’d seen me frantically scratching “down there” and that she thought I had crabs. I don’t recall doing this, I’m pretty sure I didn’t do it, but I can’t say for certain. Something prompted her to start this game, but I don’t know what. At the time, though, all I heard was that she and other kids suddenly kept teasing me for having crabs and I was so naive that I didn’t know what those kinds of crabs were, so I thought she was telling everyone I had pet crabs you keep in aquarium and I had no idea why she’d tell people that or why they thought they were making fun of be by saying that. So I just ignored it and figured it was an inside joke. It was years later, about 10th or 11th grade when someone remind me of the story and I finally figured out what she’d really been saying about me and then I was embarrassed! Now I think it’s hilarious, especially my naivety!
May 29th, 2008 at 11:40 am
well….. I’ve been called ” Four Eyes ” ….. for days…. guess that’s why I wear contact lenses …. so, having been called that, I was’nt too popular with the crowd
at high school…. I could shoot hoops, run track and debate my butt off…. but very few date dudes with glasses …. it took a Latina to tell me that she did’nt
see my glasses…. she saw me and my brown eyes…. that was the turnaround for
me.. guess you should never listen to those who taunt.. for it’s their own low self
esteem that fuels their rage,anger or just plain dumbness…..
don’t believe the hype.. try not to let anything or anybody stand on your shadow.
for,at times,you are all you have….
lamesabassman……” don’t be cruel…. to a heart that’s true…..”
May 29th, 2008 at 3:05 pm
I try to conveniently forget what people have said about how I look. But I’ll say this, those comments taught me to be witty and have a wise retort.
Since, I took years to develop in all the right places and sometimes just wore baggy clothes so folks didn’t know what kind of shape I really was, they made comments.
But I remember once in my workplace several years ago, a guy told me what I really needed was to grow some hips. Without thinking I replied “what you really need is to lose yours.” Need I say He NEVER commented on my appearance again.
May 29th, 2008 at 3:33 pm
of course “nerd”,”four eyes” and “oreo” when i had to ride the bus to my neighborhood school where the students were mostly black until my prep school with my fellow oreo friends
May 29th, 2008 at 3:43 pm
I feel your pain my friend! Try having the last name “Maloney,” which rhymes with “Baloney” The littany of things that kids came up with were endless.
May 29th, 2008 at 3:48 pm
i was the fat girl while growing up. really stick it in me :( even though i’m not fat anymore.
ah. you were a cheerleader :P we don’t have that stuff here.
May 29th, 2008 at 4:10 pm
Ugly duckling? More like “cutie duckling”.
Anyway, I’m sure that now everybody just says “I wanna Twanna”.
Have a nice day!
May 29th, 2008 at 5:14 pm
okay….. where’s the cheerleader suit….. somewhere kept safe….. and growing old
while you stay sooo sexyoung …. am havin’ a problem with the amount of guys passing you up….. now…. being Brooklyn tight…. just how many guys in NYC
leave the house in blinders…. do you really see the wonderfulness of a NYC lady
and … yeah, they carry a ton of baggage … but,it’s Prada….. there is NOWHERE on
the Planet that compares to the stare that one receives on the streets of the City..
it’s better than the very first words that one utters upon that chance meeting….
and for guys that are passing ya’ll by… and not going deep…. gonna have to call
a charge …. ’cause … that’s sooo weak….. pump up the volume, gentlemen…..
lamesabassman….. don’t make me come back for ” Show ‘n’ Flow “.. fatal
May 29th, 2008 at 5:46 pm
My brother called me Swampwater for at least four years, because it was the meanest thing he could think of that wasn’t a swear. “(My parents tolerated MUCH teasing, but not swearing.) If I complained, mom and dad said that teasing is a brother’s job. Get over it.
May 29th, 2008 at 6:25 pm
That’s awful! I totally get what you mean about how that sort of thing stays burnt in memory though. I used to be called flat-chested ALL the time and after a while it was really bloody hard to pretend I was okay with it, and getting upset wasn’t an option (ok SHOWING that it upset me wasn’t an option) because that would make me lose cool points. It was dumb, it was stupid, and I’d never dream up putting up with that sorta crap now, even from friends. It’s crazy how damn tolerant we all were as kids eh? :)
May 30th, 2008 at 11:54 am
@ Phoena: [removed hands from keyboard before saying] EWWW, YOU HAVE CRABS?!?!?! THAT’S WORST THAN COOTIES!!! ;) And, yeah, I know what you mean; I don’t think the Desi woman is angry (and I’m certainly not), it’s just weird that we remember these things.
@ lamesabassman: I was on debate team in HS too!
@ Afroamericawriter: You said, “those comments taught me to be witty and have a wise retort.” VERY good point!!
@ passionblack904: Man, what’s with the four eyes stuff? Did EVER kid who wore glasses get called that?
@ Mags: Can I start calling you Ms. Baloney?
@ Carolina Pereira: Import me to Portland, and I’ll be a cheerleader for Cristiano Ronaldo! ;)
@ Baba Doodlius: Awww, thanks!! :)
@ lamesabassman: Cheerleader suit is in storage. I sometime whip it out for Halloween as an inexpensive (free!) costume.
@ Pegs: Swampwater?? That’s a bizarre one.
@ Darwin: I’m *still* (almost) flat-chested! :) My A-cup runneth over!
May 31st, 2008 at 12:01 am
There used to be these little toy people that were egg-shaped called Wobbles. The boys would sing “weebles wobble but they don’t fall down” referring to my large breast for a 12 year old. Hmmmm… I was a B cup back then–a C in Jr. High- a D in High School- a DD in law school and now…hmmm…a wopping size T cup…they still wobble and I think they finally fell down :-)
May 31st, 2008 at 12:57 am
yes, FBC , Canada is being veddy,veddy good to me…. the food is wonderful and
gas is not that costly ….. everyone is mellow…. but am missing the action….
somethin’s going on somewhere up here… and the first break I can get , am gonna do something fierce …. gots to have some boogie somewhere up here….
will find… will tell….
lamesabassman……” there’s no place like home… there’s no place like home… “
May 31st, 2008 at 1:28 am
to kimmie…… their loss….. our gain…… never look back…. forward ever…
and am damn sure that you are one of the best lawyers on the planet, ’cause
you demand attention …. and get it…. 2….
lamesabassman…..” now, about these speeding tickets…. I wasn’t going that…..”
June 1st, 2008 at 1:03 am
@ Kimmie: “Weebles wobble but they don’t fall down.” Now, that’s something I haven’t heard in a while. Takes me back!! :) Anyone else want to take a trip down 1980s commercial lane: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mcakp1Ys2PA&feature=related. By the way, I soooo clicked through to your MySpace profile wondering, “Who is this woman with the large boobies?”
@ lamesabassman: Oh Canada.
June 4th, 2008 at 1:44 pm
I checked out the commercial. What a blast from the past! I remember all those guys nows Michael Stuckey, Jimmy Sikes and this Maxwell looking guy who I had a total crush on. Come to think of it–I think I enjoyed being teased by them. So, you went to my myspace page–hmmm…I hate that I had to set it to private, but all of my colleagues at work told me that is what I should do–I think I will make it public for a couple weeks to see if I can meet some more new friends on myspace. I have met some really great friends on there. I really enjoy your blog too. You have the best “energy” and some great advice!
June 4th, 2008 at 4:21 pm
You were a cute kid (still are). Dude was trying to disarm you FBC.
June 4th, 2008 at 8:25 pm
Hi… I’m new here… (and loving it already). The crab story made think: I was in about the 5th grade when a boy asked me if i would give him a blow job. I said “um… yeah.” Him and his friend laughed, i missed the joke. I remember that day vividly. Saw him later as an adult and told him about it… he didn’t even remember.(but found it amusing)
June 5th, 2008 at 5:06 am
@ Kimmie: THANKS for the compliments!! :) And, yeah, I’ve been thinking about the whole “private” stuff, too, lately. Right now, most of my stuff is open. Not sure if I’ll keep it that way.
@ Lee Coles: Awwww, thanks!! :)
@ DreaD: THANKS for reading the blog!!! It’s funny how naive and innocent we are about sex when we’re younger, isn’t it? I remember this one kid said something about “queef” and I was like, “What’s a queef?” He started laughing because I didn’t know. Once I found out, I was like, “Um, okay, that’s really stupid.” (Actually, I was in junior high so I think I said something stupidly ignorant like “That’s retarded” while making a face.) I’ve changed.
June 5th, 2008 at 10:07 am
gee….. from the cheerleader shot,we can come to some agreement…. that even
then…. you knew and you were on point……. can only imagine what mayhem
you unleashed at such a tender age…… smile…..
lamesabassman…….. forward ever,backwards never….