I. Fucking. Love. New York!! Okay, so, I’m like toiling away in front
of my computer yesterday, right? Ordinary day. I get an email from the ever fabulous Kathryn Finney from Budget Fashionista. Her offer? “Wanna go to a party?” Moi? Party? Of course! “Spike Lee is the guest of honor and Kanye West is performing,” she says. Oh, hell yeah! I love Kanye West. And, Spike Lee. Fast forward a couple of hours and I’m on the east side of Manhattan at Guastavino’s on the corner of 1st Ave and 59th Street. I text Kathryn. “They R checking ppl @ the door. What do I say? Am I on list?” She tells me she’s in a cab on 2nd Avenue and 63rd, but her husband should already be there. He’s a tall man wearing a green hat. Somewhere in the crowd. Find him. He’s got the password. If not the password, at least he’s got words for conversation while we wait for Kathryn.
Kathryn arrives. So does Spike Lee. We all walk on the red carpet. I whip out my Flipcam to shoot Spike, but I fumble and I’m too late. All I get is an ass shot of Spike walking toward the door to the party. (Sidenote: Spike has a nice ass.) Inside, I find out that the event is commemorating G-Shock’s 25th Anniversary. Apparently, Spike and graffiti writer Eric Haze have both designed couture of the wrist. And, Kanye west is a fan of the timepieces too. “Hmmm,” I tell myself, “must get one of those.” So, now feel like an asshole because I haven’t owned a watch since I wore Swatches, but fuck it if I’m not here drinking all of Casio’s cocktails and eating a boatload and a half of their hors d’oeuvres.
Holding a leg of lamb to my mouth with my right hand and a glass of champagne in my left, I huddle with a multiculti group of fashion women including Budget Fashionista, Coutorture, and a model who is quite possibly one of the most beautiful creatures on the face of the earth. I’m serious. She’s like a black Kate Moss. Which, of course, is appropriate because Kanye West is gonna perform in exactly 22 minutes at 8:15pm.
I’m standing next to the stage sardined in a crowd of people including a 5’7″ black man wearing a white hat and a 6’2″ white dude who looks JUST LIKE Christian Bale (as Patrick Bateman) in American Psycho. It’s 10pm. Still, no Kanye. “Maaaan,” I tell the shorter guy, “if this negro doesn’t come out here in the next hour, we should storm the stage.” He smiles. “We should storm the stage anyway,” he says. “Yeah,” I joke, “let’s get kicked out of here!!” Kanye comes out flocked by a group of 5 or 6 naked women clad only in clear, glass astronaut helmets. The short dude, my former Comrade in Arms says: “Get kicked out by your damn self. I’m not missing this!!!!!”
And, quite a concert it was. I wondered if Kanye had hemorrhoids because he stayed seated for so long, but he eventually got up and completely fucking killed the rest of the concert. Seriously. It was awesome. When it was over, I walked out with the crowd and picked up my gift bag before hailing a yellow taxicab home. Voila! My free goodies included … drum roll, please … a G-SHOCK watch!!! Never more shall the funky brown chick walk the streets of Manhattan with naked wrists. The folks at Casio know how to party. Now, quick, somebody help me: I’ve got a fuckload of video footage from last night. They’re all AVI files from my FlipCam. At home, Windows Media player plays audio but no video but I can see everything fine on my Flipcam. How can I see & edit the AVI Flipcam videos on a PC before uploading them online?
Technorati Tags: Astronaut Helmets, Black Kate Moss, Budget Fashionista, Casio, Christian Bale, Coutorture, Eric Haze, G-SHOCK, Guastavino's, Kanye West, Kate Moss, Kathryn Finney, Patrick Bateman, Spike Lee, Swatch, watches