I wake up, jump in & out of the shower. I brush my teeth and walk naked through my room as I pick out an outfit — a sleeveless, colorful red top and a black skirt that stops 3 inches above the place where my knees start. My eyes are still puffy from last night’s cry during my writing group, and I don’t have time to apply any makeup. I grab handfuls of sh!t from the bathroom and throw it the bottom of my purse. I’ll finish grooming during the commute. Leaving the house, I walk to the subway and get really p!ssed off because the train’s so packed I have to stand with a 6’2″, middle-aged dude with a potbelly squished against me. As the train jerks out of the station, I juggle the ink-marked printouts of my book project, the purse, an iPod and the free Metro I picked up. Twenty minutes later, I emerge from beneath the earth’s core and pitter-patter my 4-inch black heels on 5th Avenue’s pavement. I’m not tired, but I feel physically and emotionally exhausted. And, I have a sore throat. I wanna go back home, pull the covers over my head and sleep. But, I can’t so I continue walking. That’s when I see him as I pass his establishment, the doorman dude at the entrance to a swank Midtown hotel.
“Hey,” he says. “Are you single?”
I grin a sideways smile and continue past him without acknowledging his question. I’m almost at the corner and off his block when he shouts after me.
“You look beautiful today!”
Amazing. Sometimes, I’m in a good mood, sporting a pretty little outfit, wearing carefully-applied makeup and smiling at the world. I feel invisible. Other days, I have a sh!tty start to the day, sneak a dirty shirt out of the hamper because I feel like wearing it even though it hasn’t been laundered and walk the streets of NYC with my “don’t-even-fuck!ng-look-at-me-or-I’ll-fuck!ng-cut-you-asshole” face. I turn a head or two and draw compliments from random guys who see me.
Strange how that happens.
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Photo credit: Konrad Mostert, Germany.
{ 20 comments… read them below or add one }
1. unless your wearing a potato sack…..It’s not hard to see why someone would find you attractive….despite the all business mean mug.
2. There are a secret cabal of men who seek to change the world by complimenting women, in a positive manner, to combat the villainy of the crude. The theory is that happy women make for a happier world. I’m swearing you to secrecy.
This happens to me too. However, sometimes i find that i am oblivious to second glances or compliments/remarks.
One time I found myself getting mad at a couple of “men” sitting in a park saying things like “hey baby… you look good today” i walked past with my ipod buds in my ear, yes the music was on and i still heard them. I acted as if i didn’t. I thought it was rude. Here I am alone, walking fast and listening to my music…. i was hoping that they’d see that I couldn’t hear them and NOT say anything.
Now that i mention it… anyone else put their ipod on while in public places hoping that people will LEAVE YOU ALONE?
I agree deployed earbuds usually mean… do not disturb.
Some chicks look really hot when they’re in a bad mood. I am not sure how to explain it but its true.
Maybe they like the challenge.
i love nice compliments. specially, as you said, when you’re being you and don’t even have makeup on ;)
Bottom line, why do you even care? Are you so insecure that it matters?
@ dkzone: Oooooh! A secret cabal of men, you say? Sounds VERY interesting. Tell me more. :)
@ DreaD: Oh yeah, the iPod is kind of like the universal subway sign for “Don’t Talk to Me.” Before that, it was just books. :)
@ Blah Blah Blah: Whoa! It’s kind of like magic, huh? Passive aggressive comments disappear from the blog. ;) I deleted it; take that shit somewhere else.
@ qp the magnificent: I think Brenz might be on to something with this “challenge” thing because I think women often do the same thing. More on this later.
@ Brenz: As I said a few words ago, I think you’re on to something.
@ Carolina Pereira: Yeah, I appreciated the compliment; it was totally unexpected.
@ Lisa / Jacqueline: It wasn’t really a matter of “caring” about it. As I said, I just think it’s strange how that happens. By the way, I searched my database. This is the first time you’ve commented. I didn’t crosscheck your electronic fingerprints against my email accounts yet, so I’m not sure if you’re a lurker, someone I know or just passing through. In any case, as I mentioned in a previous post, I’m on deadline and this week’s funky brown rantings are simply a bit random.
It never fails. When I’ve just thrown something on (jeans, dirty tee-shirt, sneakers) haven’t really done my hair and fell like crap, I’ll get a compliment from a dude or someone will try get my digits. But when I actually take time out to work on my appearance…well, to tell you the truth, I get compliments and digit requests then as well. I’m just a smokin’ hot b*tch, I guess! ;)
it’s your glow, love…… and as you can see … it still works…… wonderfully….
RayBan alert….
lamesabassman…….. on to Barbados……
No no no. Ladies when a man compliments you always always say thankyou. A smile is good too. I know some men may take that to mean you are interested but thereafter you continue walking and/or say goodbye. We want to encourage gentlemanly behavior.
I know sometimes I am having a shitty day and when someone compliments me it makes me smile, even if just for a moment.
C’mon, you’re a cute chick in NYC – you want to stop getting comments from men, wear a burqa.
On a side note, I am so jealous of lamesabassman – I wanna be on a tropical island! Plttht!
fbc, it’s absolutely true what they say. it’s when you’re least expecting it that shit like that comes your way…and by ‘shit’ i mean, good, positive, glowing, twinkly things like compliments and great job offers.
@ Crystal: Apparently you are! ;)
@ lamesabassman: Thanks. Enjoy Barbados.
@ kali: Ooooh, but see that’s where it gets tricky. I’ve learned the hard way, sometimes when you say thank you, it can be construed as flirting and/or welcoming additional attention. And, other times, it can down right rude if you don’t acknowledge the compliment. It’s tricky, I tell ya. TRICKY!!
@ Baba Doodlius: I wanna be on a tropical island, too! :) Manhattan’s an island, but it’s def not tropical.
@ wynsters the tigress: Yeah, I like all that shit. ;)
Late, but here.
The lesson: Everybody wants to feel good even when they don’t.
Works for me :)
Beautifully stated! :)
Such a compliment, delivered in a civlized manner, can shift one’s focus from the self to the eyes of others. I have never met a man who favored the use of heavy makeup by women.
Very interesting point!
it’s not what you have on… or wear… but, what you project is what men notice
and feel the need to respond to …… and that’s if they are gentlemen….. slugs will
talk regardless….. and women do filter the cheese….. wonderfully…..
lamesabassman……. just following the tracks…. looking for clues….
Just like lions when they attack the weakest, sickest looking zebra, sometimes men pounce when a women is at her weakest. From the comments it appears many women are painfully unaware of this tactic.
@ lamesabassman: Interesting point about projecting.
@ Dave: Oooooh. :) Au contraire, mon frere. ;) Pissy mood does not a weak woman make. Two scenarios: Woman #1 is in a really pissy mood. Dude makes his move. Woman gets more annoyed. “Can’t you see I’m in a pissy mood? Leave me the fuck alone.” Okay, second scenario. Woman #2 is in a really pissy mood. Dude makes his move. Woman is totally flattered, “Awww, he’s trying to cheer me up. He likes me. He really likes me!!!!” The difference? Woman #1 wants to be left alone until she feels better about herself. Woman #2 thinks she needs a man to make her feel better about herself. I’m all for compliments, and I certainly enjoy them when they’re lobbed my way. BUT, that said, in general, if I’m in a pissy mood I really wanna be left the fuck alone. :)
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