Manly Monday: Why Do Men Date GILFs, MILFs and Other Older Women?
“Harold is 20, very rich and very suicidal. Maude is 79¾, very poor and so full of a sympathetic life-force that she grieves for a small tree, suffocating in the city’s pollution,” reads the original 1971 New York Times review of Hal Ashby’s cult classic Harold and Maude. Great flick. Rent it if you haven’t seen it. Best part? The hot cougar-on-cub GILF sex scene. Soooo worth it. Wondering “what does GILF stand for?” Let’s just say it’s a grandma I’d like to … “Whaaaaa? He boinks a grandma?” Yep.
Why this topic today? Well, like every Monday here at the brown (funky brown that is), it’s Manly Monday. I wanna talk about younger men who date older women because I recently randomly stumbled upon Wikipedia’s age disparity in sexual relationships page. (EVERYTHING is on that site these days, but that’s a topic for a different post.) Anyway, so, halfway down the page, I see the “motives” section. Factors leading into a search for a younger individual with whom to share an intimate relationship can vary wildly, they say. A common perception is that younger mates serve the purpose of a ‘trophy’, or object of status. Hmmm … methinks they had older men / younger women pairings in mind. After all, no one ever accuses older women who date younger men of hunting for ‘trophy husbands’ do they?
Long ago, circa 2001, I used to think men who lusted after older women had unresolved mommy issues. Now, I don’t believe those dudes are pathological at all. I think some men just like their women older. Period. But, I’m curious … Any guys out there have a preference for older women? Ladies, any of you have a preference for younger men? And, if so, why? I typically like younger men because they’re less likely to have exwives, “my exgirlfriend damaged me” issues, kids or other drama. Y’all know I can’t stand kids — unless, of course, they’re my nephews. But, I digress. So, spill it: Besides the sex, why do you think younger men and older women hook up?
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Related funky brown posts:
- Cougars and Cubs: Older Women, Younger Men
- How to Seduce a GILF
- How to Love A Submissive Man
- Urban Cougars and Their Young Boytoys
PS: Hope you all enjoyed great weekends!!! In case you were wondering what I did … I spent Friday night chowing on Dos Caminos‘ mole covered enchiladas and sipping margaritas with Kathy, Bro and Nashwa. Saturday, I saw The Last Mistress by myself, brunched at Rafaella in Chelsea with Desiree, went with Rachel and Nichelle to witness Neal Medlyn’s bulge in tighty whities and had Pinkberry fro-yo with Julie followed by drinks with a boy at Turks & Frogs down in the West Village. Sunday, I rested. Brunch with Karlyn and Bro followed by a quiet evening vegging at home.
July 21st, 2008 at 12:26 pm
I think it is the confidence and the swagger that women of a certain age have. For the younger guy, I think it is the challenge they like.
Alicia
http://todaystyle.today.com
July 21st, 2008 at 5:00 pm
Older women Don’t yell, don’t tell, don’t swell and they’re grateful as hell.
July 21st, 2008 at 5:22 pm
From a cougar.
I want to say older men have been dating younger women for years and there is hardly a peep. Now that women are dating younger men there are a flood of stories and blogs about it everywhere.
And what is a man called who dates a younger woman?
I hate that cougar name but, I wear it proudly.
I was told by my friend that older woman are independent, sexually uninhibit, and fun. We don’t have time for games, already know what we want, and are not judgemental.
I am also sexy, feel good, and still want to have fun so for me I tend to sway toward younger men. I still have high standards. My friend has his own place, a good job, and his own car. I don’t have time to be a mother to any one but, the two I gave birth to.
July 21st, 2008 at 6:43 pm
at my age (24) i look for men not much older than me. i think age matters in some stages of your life. now if i date a much older guy, it would make a difference. perheaps in a few years that age difference dissipates. it’s the same regarding younger men. now, i really can’t see myself with guys younger than me. guys my age and as childish as i can deal with. i don’t want a baby :P but in a few years, who knows?! ;)
(i have a blog for some time where i post ocasionally in english. it’s dedicated to animal’s rights and welfare, as it’s my area ;)
i remember this because i just updated in english :P
http://arcadeno3.blogspot.com/2008/07/american-wolves-safefor-now.html )
July 21st, 2008 at 7:56 pm
” think some men just like their women older. Period. But, I’m curious … Any guys out there have a preference for older women? ”
No, I can’t say that I ever got off on a woman mostly because she was older — or younger for that matter. Generalizations don’t hold. You can’t say that all ‘older women are –’ (’do –’, ‘have–’, whatever). They are not easier to seduce or keep, either. It’s the same as any other relationship. It works (or doesn’t) for a variety of reasons.
I married my college sweetheart — only she had an 18 year marriage and divorce between high school and college. I can’t say that age was not an issue — it was just an issue that I liked. I enjoyed the fact that there were several great differences between us. She was more mature, and I realized that, if I wanted to spend any time with her, I was going to have to be more mature too. She made me want to grow up. I needed that. Which brings us to —
“Besides the sex, why do you think younger men and older women hook up?”
Sorry to say, sex was the primary reason — or at least it was the first reason. For me, it was the maturity factor. Until I met her, I seemed to be a magnet for dysfunctionally immature women. And I wasn’t too far ahead of any of them.
“After all, no one ever accuses older women who date younger men of hunting for ‘trophy husbands’ do they?”
I save her the trouble. I proudly introduce myself as her ‘trophy husband’.
July 22nd, 2008 at 8:58 am
From a Couger-Aged Single Gal—honestly I get hit on more by guys younger than me. They usually say they did not know how old I was but honestly I think it is because they take more chances. I have yet to date the younger guy pool but I do not rule it out!!!
July 22nd, 2008 at 2:16 pm
first congrats on yo spear nod
anywho hope u don’t mind the drive by, do chk me out one day
rawdawgbuffalo and if u like what u read, maybe u will come back, even Blog Roll Me
July 23rd, 2008 at 7:37 am
Hello there…
CONGRATS on joining Afrospear! I am not a member though….
Please know that you are always welcome to stop by my blog for some VERY stimulating and intense conversations…. there is NOTHING that we won’t talk about!! The door is always open!
(smiles)
Lisa
July 23rd, 2008 at 7:40 am
Hi again!
I clicked on “submit” before I wrote my comnent on your post!!
Tsk, tsk!
I would never…never… never date a younger man…I am not interested in them at all… never have been…I prefer men who are about ten years older… more stable…more secure (usually) and more sure of what it is that they need in their relationships and what they are willing to contribute to the relationships that they seek to foster with others…
Some men DO like older women… and I think that they find them to be a bit less “drama free” tham the women who are their own age…
Just a thought!
July 23rd, 2008 at 9:30 am
@ Alicia: Everyone loves a challenge, no? :)
@ Doug Glass: I love it; it even rhymes!
@ Sharon: Love your comment. And, yeah, I sooo don’t have time to mother anyone else either. It’s just me and that’s more than enough.
@ Carolina Pereira: I don’t want a baby either. :) By the way, when I was 24, I thought 27-year-old men were old. :) By the way, yes, I’ll definitely check out your blog.
@ Tim M: VERY good points! And, I LOVE it that you introduce yourself as your wife’s trophy husband. That’s so fantastic!
@ Felicia: Yeah, men (and women, actually) typically guess that I’m a bit younger than I am. I think it’s because I live in New York.
@ rawdawgbuffalo: Thanks. I’m a fan of the Afrospear! If you’re on Facebook, join the group!!! (Just search for Afrospear and you’ll find it.) Will DEFINITELY check out your blog.
@ blackwomenblowthetrumpet.blogspot.com: Hey Lisa! I’ll def check out your blog, too! And, ooooooh, be careful dearie! :) Every time I say I’m NEVER doing something, I usually end up doing it. :) Hence, I’ve stopped saying “I’m never having kids” and started saying “I don’t think I want to have children” and “Twanna wants no babies in her belly.”
July 23rd, 2008 at 12:59 pm
K…… cougars….. from my checkered past….. age don’t matter…… it’s just how deep your head is tucked in….. from 24 to 42 and … at times…. 62….. it’s how
you frame your package…… you look killer and you dont talk in tongues ,you are in with me……. the things I’ve learned from those wonderfully talented women
would deep-six any forum, case-study or books….. when you are on point, the
Ladies in the house are sooooo deep…. that I need to be Chambered to come
back…… age ain’t nuttin’ but a number….. but common sense and caring go a
long way on the Feel Good Highway of Life……. was down for a bit…. but not
out….. and with this tour rolling full steam…. am observing life at 3/5 of a mile
at 10 second pops….. people are cool to blend with….. just keep ya’ head up.
enjoy yourself,don’t hurt yourself…. or anyone else…. ’cause you is all you got.
lamesabassman…… I hear the Ocean callin’…. me gone….
July 4th, 2009 at 10:48 am
Personally, I grew up seeing a ton of games played by females my age, and see the games being played by older yet immature couples. I currently am very happy with the women I have just met. She is barely in her 30’s and we have so much in common that I don’t even think about age. She stimulates me in many different ways, more than she realizes.
What first attracted me to her was her smile, it was like time stood still and I caught a glimpse of the future I could have with her. And it was good. Yes, I can’t wait for the awesome sex life (I want to gently devour her), we have just started to begin dating, but I honestly want a woman with no games, no BS, knows what she wants, is not so reliant on me but enjoys being with me, honest, a partner and a lover. For me, she fills that completely. She turns me on just because of our connection and that’s the kind of guy I am. Physical is one thing, but if we have a lot more, the physical is so much better.
As for myself, I already graduated college, going back soon for Master’s, and all the other things I should have physically. But Maturity-wise and emotionally, I believe that is what she values the most. I’m not going anywhere, I speak and listen, and willing to work through whatever comes our way. I don’t have the urge to prove myself to anyone, even though I am aware of he friends may not approve scenario may occur. But I know that you can not please anyone, you have to pick and choose and just be the best person you can be.
July 27th, 2009 at 7:35 pm
The main thing that makes me hesitant to date younger men is the kid thing. I’m 37, and have had my tubes tied. I am not the one to hook up with if you are looking to settle down and have your own kids, and a lot of the younger guys want that “someday”. I don’t want to be anyone’s temporary relationship. But if at 28 or 29 they’ve got that figured out, well, then, we can see.
Of course, I’m polyamorous, so my dating requirements are a little different from the norm….
September 28th, 2009 at 1:49 pm
I like younger men because of the nurturing factor. I like to spoil and pamper men–well, only the ones who treat me well in return. Younger men are not so set in their ways and older men and do not have as much baggage. Maturity, though plays a huge role in any relationship and I don’t think that age has anything to do with it. I’ve met men in their 40’s and 50’s who act like teenagers and guys in their 20’s who are way more mature and responsible. All that matters is honesty and a clear agenda as to what is wanted out of the relationship. Then, it’s fine.
October 5th, 2009 at 8:24 am
I’m 33 single mother of 3 and I tend to get hit on constantly by younger men. I recently started dating a 26 yr old, only because he kept coming around and trying to convince me to give him a chance. I typically try to date men who are at least 28 and up but this guy seems to be mature for his age with a good job and all that… I’m not really sure what it is that younger men find attractive about me, but I’ve had as young as 21 yr olds hit on me..I usually think they want bragging rights and think that a women older knows her way around the bedroom. I don’t know if a relationship is possible with a 26 yr old but I’m giving him a shot and if it doesn’t work I will prob go back to dating men closer to my age..
October 7th, 2009 at 10:43 am
Why do men date MILFs/GILFs? Uh, because the particular MILF/GILF they are looking at is hot? Duh! I mean, come on. I would do Sophia Loren, I would do Susan Sarandon, I would do June Wilkinson, I would do Cynthia Myers, I would Janet Lupo, I’d probably even do Lena Horne…why? Because they are ALL hot women, age be damned. That’s the bottom line. I don’t care how old a woman is, if she’s still got it, then I’m on it :)