Manly Monday: Does Size Matter?
Women reach their sexual peaks in their late 30s / early 40s. I think that has more to do with self esteem and less to do with hormones. If we’re comfortable (and secure!) with our bodies, we’re more likely to enjoy sex. I can’t say that I’ve noticed any crazy changes in my hormones as time passes. But, I have noticed something else has changed: I’ve grown pickier about “size.” I didn’t lose my virginity until I was 22 years old, and I was in a longterm, committed relationship pretty quickly thereafter. So, the bulk of my “experience” has been in recent years. Now that I have a broader comparison base, I notice some are longer, some are shortly. One French Canadian guy’s was so thick that it was actually really really uncomfortable and we had trouble getting it in. (I’m small; is that TMI?!?!) I could espouse the joys of being with a big guy. At the same time, I’ve certainly had thrilling “Os” with little guys who really knew how to work their magic and please women. So, having thought about all of this and strung together a bunch of sentence that will undoubtedly lead you all to (incorrectly) assume I’m a big slut, I’ll ask this: Does size matter? Or, is technique more important? Ladies, I’ve got a lot of guys reading this blog, so please don’t hold back. Be honest and tell us what you really think. Guys, feel free to share your thoughts and tell us how YOU feel about the “size” issue. Comments are open. Share your thoughts.
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Photo Credit: Anka Zolnierzak. London, UK
September 8th, 2008 at 11:13 am
Was that your first thought about ‘him’? Did you think “How big is it”? After you found out, and he didn’t measure up, would you burn his phone number?
If you answered yes, then I guess it’s important.
Of course, when looking over a girl, you can get a good visual measurement ‘up front’ while she’s still fully clothed.
Tim M
September 8th, 2008 at 12:57 pm
I think technique is more important than size, although I personally think there is such a thing as being “too big”
I mean, no one likes to be ripped in two!!
sorry to be frank, but there you go…
September 8th, 2008 at 1:34 pm
First let me say as a 45 year old woman, my sex drive increased when I turned 36 and it didn’t have a damn thing to do with self-esteem. I’d just get horny for no reason. Just wait til it happens to you. I’d be at work and suddenly I’d be trying to figure out which “jump-off” I could call to “hook a sista up that night. Why do you think older women love young men? We don’t want a relationship we just want to hit it and be done. As for size, hell yes it does matter. Especially when you want “that spot” hit. A “snausage” will not do the job. However, some Men who are not as “endowed” know this and can compensate accordingly. I have no issues with that. Especially if I really like the guy.
September 8th, 2008 at 1:36 pm
You’re a little younger than me if I recall correctly so trust me, the hormones will rage and it has nothing to do with confidence :)
Size and technique matter. I have trouble getting turned on if the size is less than decent, it’s mental.
September 8th, 2008 at 2:29 pm
If the dude can’t hit the switch, there is no point. I like the feeling of being penentrated so when that doesn’t happen; I’m upset. And I’m sorry, fingers won’t work all the time. But I agree, I don’t want to be ripped in two either. Not cool. Like the Goldilocks, I need to find one, “just riiiiight”. ;-)
September 8th, 2008 at 2:46 pm
It’s not the size of the boat…but the motion of the ocean. Now I ain’t no chump nor no killa but I can “get er done”. I turned 30 this year and the hormones are leveling off a bit but my sex drive is definitely still in “Drive”. I just value this cuddling and romantic stuff a little more than I use to. But as I have gotten “older” I do realize there are many ways to please a woman and penetration is one but not the only one. However you can’t discount good ole fashioned lovin…even if latex separates ya.
Dallas Black
thirtyhood.blogspot.com
September 8th, 2008 at 3:21 pm
Well, let’s see. In my younger days, I would have said it’s more about technique than size. In my experience, which is way more extensive than I care to admit, even somewhat anonymously, men who are more endowed tend to believe that their size does it all. They just don’t try as hard. Some even tend to be a bit reverential about what they have – with a kind of, “Look at all I’ve got! Worship it. Serve it,” attitude. And men who are really small – well they tend to try hard – but you know, if you have virtually nothing to work with…
I tend to find those guys who fall in the wide range of average to be the best. They have enough to make it work for them – and they usually know they have to work it.
As for age. Well, I think it’s a combination of hormones and confidence. I’ve always had a overdeveloped sex-drive, but I did notice an increase starting in my late 30s and now, in my 40s I am pretty much insatiable. I think this is hormonal. Where the confidence comes in, is that I have little hesitation about asking for just what I want. I hope this drive lasts until I’m past menopause – to have drive, confidence and no fear of getting pregnant – now THAT’S something to look forward to.
September 8th, 2008 at 3:24 pm
I think both are correct. And then it also depends on the person as well…..vague enough?
In my never ending quest for the ultimo O. I took a class in college. What I found out was that the pleasure nerves are toward the front of the vagina and the clit. My professor indicated that she couldn’t figure out why bigger was better for some and not for others. But after thinking about it, i think it boils down to the “physics” of sex and also personal sexual developmental choices. One part body, one part brain.
Lets start with the body.
Why do larger sizes feel better? i think its because they generate more friction to those pleasure nerves toward the front of the vagina. Too much will of course cause pain. But to little or thin will not cause quite enough friction. Also length creates longer stoke potential which leads to increased friction time for those same nerves. The equalizer to all of this is vaginal positioning. a direct perpendicular entry will work, but when you tilt the pelvis something wonderful happens…..you change the effective dimensions of the interaction. when coming in at an angle it creates more friction and the illusion of larger sizes. I think this is part of the reason why the “legs over the shoulder” approach is so popular. I think it alters that orientation and tilts the pelvis.
If you really want to generate some friction, put both legs, crossed over one shoulder. Or place both hands on the pelvis with the thumbs down on either side of the vagina, then gently put pressure around the rod.
The mental side to it is just that.
I know one girl that gets turned off from oral. but Loves penetration. and i’ve met girls where the oposite were true…..
The reasons…..whose to say..
September 8th, 2008 at 4:13 pm
Oh, you’re such a slut.
Kidding! Just kidding!
But about size: I don’t even know how big mine is, it’s hidden under all those feathers. Mrs. Doodlius seems to enjoy it, though, so I don’t really care how big it is.
September 8th, 2008 at 4:59 pm
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September 8th, 2008 at 10:14 pm
well …. I mentioned this a while back…. and had gotten FBC’s answer…. now if the gloves are coming off ( excuse the puns ) .. since it was so well said in the above…. the biggest sex organ is the brain….. now .. once past that…. it’s kinda all down hill from there….. it’s how you do, to make one smile….. and that’s it….
for the women … their stuff will expand or contract as the case or subject permits
but… as for guys…. it’s either you gots… or ya dont…. cant fake the funk there…
so that’s when you improvise …. adapt…. and over-come…… you take care of
business ….. some rather be tickled….. and …. some … kinda like to be choked….
whatever gets you thru the night is your own private Idaho…. so …. ladies, please be kind……
lamesabassman….. one Man’s ceiling….. is another Man’s floor…..
September 8th, 2008 at 10:37 pm
Chemistry is so much more important than being “huge”… having someone pay attention to your breathing, how you react to each kind of touch, etc.
I had more fun with my “average” lover than with the biggest dude I ever slept with. Certain positions just hurt me with Big and frankly he did NOT know how to go down on a woman to get her ready for the main event. Certain things just can’t be taught sometimes.
With AnythingButAverage we could experiment to our naughty little hearts’ contentment in all SORTS of positions. He was sooo attuned to how I responded. Damn, I miss him.
September 9th, 2008 at 12:37 am
When I was younger I got it in my head that size was the end all be all. I have had women tell me I am larger then average and wider then average but one woman I was with snapped me out of my stupor when we were having sex I was going to town and she was “oohing and Ahhing” So naturally I figured she was enjoying it until I looked at her and saw the look of pure pain on her face. I was ramming against her cervix and that was not too her liking and anal, forget about it.
Size does matter and can be a detriment as well.
September 9th, 2008 at 6:30 pm
Chemistry between partners is very important, but I’ve been turned off by guys who were too big and too small. I want my porridge just right. There’s a lot to be said for enthusiasm, respectful behavior and wanting to share your affection with someone. I’ve come to realize I have a huge sex drive but I just don’t like having multiple partners. I’m always concerned about protection and wondering whether the guy really knows female anatomy. Even though I liked watching SATC for example I could not have sex the way they did and be ok with it. Come to think of it – neither did they but it was kinda glossed over.
September 9th, 2008 at 10:53 pm
I agree;It’s more about chemistry than anything. But there is a thing such as too small and too big. I mean if you’re wondering if it’s his two fingers probing down there or his ****, then we have a problem. I think good lovin’ starts with how “into” each other you are and taking the time to get to know what your partner likes or dislikes.
Sex drive? I’m 35 and mine is on the rise and I don’t think it’s a self esteem issue…I don’t know what it is, but I hope it stays this way for a while.Lol…
September 10th, 2008 at 12:07 am
@ Tim M: My answers are “no” and “no.” :)
@ The Jaded NYer: And, yes, I totally agree with you. There IS such a thing as TOO big.
@ Pam: Whoa!!! I can’t wait to turn 36 to see if it happens to me too. ;)
@ Zen: Ditto my comment to Pam. I’m excited about my upcoming birthdays. Hell, I’d actually LIKE to be proven wrong. :)
@ Cynthia: I’m with you on that one.
@ Dallas Black: WELCOME TO CLUB 30!!! :) I sooooo love my thirties more than my 20s. “Single Sexy 30-Something.” I love it. :)
@ 3BChick: Oohh, so you’re saying the dudes with the big c0ckadoodledoos are like the really really hot guys: they don’t try because they don’t think they have to? “Drive, confidence and no fear of getting pregnant – now THAT’S something to look forward to.” Sounds delicious. Demi Moore is my hero. Halle, too. :) Her dude’s like 10 years younger than she is. It’s true; the younger guys have more stamina than older ones. Um, you know, not that I’m speaking from experience or anything … I mean, whatever, I’ll be quiet now. ;)
@ dkzone: Whoa!! Looks like you REMEMBERED your lesson. :) Love it.
@ Baba Doodlius: You and Ms. Doodlius sound very happy together.
@ PullJoy: THANKS FOR THE LINK LOVE!!!!
@ lamesabassman: The biggest sex organ is the brain. Interesting.
@ Carly: Ah, chemistry. I LOVE it when that happens.
@ Art J: EWWWWW, I’ve so had the cervix poke and it was NOT comfortable. :( That said, I’m a fan of oohing and ahhing when something feels good. It’s natural. If something DOESN’T feel good, there are no oohs and ahs. It’s like an immediate, “Um, let’s try something different.”
@ heartsandflowers: Heeeey, that’s too votes for “just right.” You said, “I have a huge sex drive but I just don’t like having multiple partners.” I know what you mean. I enjoy sex with guys that I like sharing it with.
@ Blackbutterfli: Yep, chemistry trumps all. And, I’ll have to see if this “Over 35 and Horny” stuff rings true. ;) By the way, lovin’ all the women who spoke up on this one. :) Usually, I think the guys take the lead in comments.
September 10th, 2008 at 2:15 am
if you like the asian boys, it probably doesn’t matter much to you, no?
September 10th, 2008 at 6:06 pm
how about, too big? it can be a problem as well…
September 10th, 2008 at 10:45 pm
Yes and yes. Size does matter, but only when it’s way to small or way too big (yeah, there is such a thing). Most fall into the “just right” category as long as the man in question knows what he’s doing. I’d so much rather have a masterful lover on the smaller end of the “just right” spectrum than a brute who’s seen too many cheap porn movies (and thinks that’s the way it’s supposed to be in real life) on the larger end of the spectrum.
And, hell yeah, my hormones started to rage at 35. Add to that increased confidence and I’m one sex-obsessed chick.
September 11th, 2008 at 12:40 am
We’ve all endured something that didn’t feel good, trying to be with someone. Particularly women that aren’t as “liberated” and do not talk to their partners and tell them what they like or don’t like. Been with a few of them. Her oohing and Aah-ing were not passionate, they were guttural cries of pain that I completely missed then when I did notice them I thought, “I’m F@*%$*% the shite out of her, she digs it!” Only as I look back with maturity am I able to admit it.
September 11th, 2008 at 12:44 am
Here is a question, about the “too big” one’s you all claim not to like.
You try it out anyway right? i.e. Even if you see one that is freakishly large and you know it’s too big. Like porn guy Mandingo Do you really walk away or do you “Just have to try it”? For bragging rights or whatever reason? Never to big to try once or twice.
September 11th, 2008 at 7:56 am
@ larri: Don’t believe the sterotype.
@ carolina pereira: Too big is DEFINITELY a problem.
@ SINgleGIRL: Yeah, I can TOTALLY tell when I guy’s spent too much time watching porn and too little time listening to his lovers. It’s like they’ll do something, and you’re like, “Um, wait, you really think women like that? You’ve been watching waaaay too much porn!!”
@ Art J: Here’s the part where you turn it around and ask, “What attracted me to women that weren’t as “liberated” and did not talk to their partners and tell them what they like or don’t like?” Rhetorically, of coursee.
September 11th, 2008 at 10:23 am
I dont think that anyone would into that much pain to gain anything worth bragging about ….. I know two people ….. one female….. one male…. they are very good friends of mine….. the female got ” lucky” one night … that lasted her forever….. the guy was so built that he ruined her chances of ever having kids…
cause drinking and drugs dont mix with sex when the guy’s is too big to realize that he is really hurting his partner ….. with him thinking he was rocking her world do to the sounds she was make turned out to be very wrong for her….and
the male friend of mine …. well, now he does his #2 in a plastic bag that he wears all the time… what’s happening in porn is acting….. when you try to do that in the real world…. there might be a price to be…….
lamesabassman…… ” do ya feel lucky….” well, do you…..
September 11th, 2008 at 8:56 pm
Size matters. It’s not the be all and end all, but I definitely think that it makes a difference. It feels great when a guy can go really deep. Plus I just like how one that is long and hard feels in my hand, etc. mm!
September 12th, 2008 at 3:15 am
Girl! Size always matters. Always. Bigger isn’t always better but size always matters…
That said, a big cock is a wonderful thing. Especially when it’s attached to someone you really like, who really likes you.
But then there’s BDA – Big Dick Attitude. Some combination of swagger, charm and confidence, you know what I mean?
You can tell if a guy is packing if he has BDA…
September 12th, 2008 at 4:47 am
in the Kama Sutra ….. it states that the brain is the place where all sex begins…
what the brain creates … the body will perform and it does’nt matter just how big
or small she or he is …. the Kama Sutra will show the way to happiness …. it is
the Road to Nirvana and will make you whole again…..
lamesabassman….. try it…. you’ll like it….
September 12th, 2008 at 10:58 am
# moments: You said, “It feels great when a guy can go really deep. Plus I just like how one that is long and hard feels in my hand, etc.” Oh my goodness, don’t I know it. Enjoying sweet memories …
# kbarrett: “Especially when it’s attached to someone you really like, who really likes you.” Perfectly stated. :) I’m not a fan of BDA. :( I’d prefer a sweet, tall, slender boy from Europe with 0% attitude who just happens to be somewhere between 6′2 and 6′4 and very well endowed. Not that I’m talking about anyone in particular, you know, I’m just saying, um, you know, “in general.” ;)
September 12th, 2008 at 5:16 pm
Please over look the Eddie Haskel tone it’s just my natural way.
Beauty obviously attracted me to her and her to me. When you get to know someone they can fool you and be normal (whatever that is) in general life but in bed be repressed. You don’t find this out until you get to the bedroom and by then, what are you going walk out, it would have to border on the absurd for that to happen. So one of two things happen at this point, “I am going to teach her the joys and liberation of sex” is one thought. “She’s just shy, she’ll come around,” is the other. Both are incorrect but who thinks of these things at the “moment of truth”? After that you put in more time and effort if they are otherwise cool and maybe they change but maybe they don’t. Eventually you have to decide what you can live with and what you cannot. I for one cannot live with women that have all sorts of hang ups. I learned the hard way that if she is not completely open to me then it won’t work out. Now I focus on giving pleasure to the lady I am with and not just on getting pleasure for myself. I she cannot return that then I cannot hand with her. Speaking of, I have a question I would like to ask but I do not want to pss you and the other ladies here.
September 27th, 2008 at 1:10 am
I’d be interested to know what guys think about sizes of women’s vagina. There’s a lot to talk about male sizes, but not so much about women.
September 27th, 2008 at 2:14 am
welllll……. some you….a… kinda slip thru……. and there’s the ones you rappel into…….. soooooo…. you’re kinda slippin’ into the heart of Darkness here….. cause ….. there’s a brave new world that guys WILL NEVER TALK about for the fear of never…. ever… gettin’ that close to standing one the verge of gettin’ it on.
lamesabassman……. the floor is open…..” let’s dance…..”
September 27th, 2008 at 4:40 pm
Here’s the thing. This is a trick question for men. If you say you’ve never had one too big then you’re lying.
If you say you’ve had one too big then you just admitted you have a small weiner right.
That being said, I will sit this one out not answer this question.
September 28th, 2008 at 3:24 am
Dang….. that thought just gives me the willies……
lamesabassman………. Dang…
October 20th, 2008 at 11:58 pm
oops, I did it again. I know this subject is old and should be closed but in the words of Brittany Spears, “Oops I did it again”
I took this woman to bed very recently after wanting her in my bed for some time. Anyway, we were going at it hot and heavy having fun right, Then I started deep stroking her and there it went, hitting her cervix and “Hey I’m a man, listen to her whimper” (Internal Thought) At least she had the balls to tell me it hurts and to not go so deep. I might have to marry her!!