Searching for Joe Jonas
Yesterday, I updated my Facebook status to let people know, “Twanna would like to rip 19-year-old Joe Jonas‘ purity ring off his finger using only her wet tongue and white teeth.” I meant it. You see, I’ve been thinking: I need an intern. A personal assistant. SOMETHING. I’m trying to juggle a full-time day gig, full-time writing career and a BUNCH of life maintenance stuff like, um, ya know, doing my laundry, help out with planning my high school reunion, returning telephone calls to my friends and family, buying a plane ticket home for the holidays before the prices soar, etc. etc. So, I need help with the administrative stuff related to this blog & my freelance writing. You know, stuff like organizing the addresses in my database / mailing list so I can send out my private e-update. Prioritizing the messages in my four fucking email accounts. I have too much stuff to do, and too little money to pay someone to actually help me out with it. “What,” you might ask, “does any of this have to do with little Joe Jonas?”
When Monica Lewinsky worked in the White House, she was an unpaid intern wasn’t she? That seemed to work out well for all parties involved. So, why can’t *I* have a young, energetic, eager little brunette help me out on an “unpaid intern” basis? Something like a mini-Joe Jonas. Ah, a girl can dream, can’t she? I’ll be back tomorrow when I actually have TIME to write a full post. I was without internet in my home for nearly 1/2 a week and I’m ridiculously backlogged on scheduling meetings, hitting my deadlines, and responding to writing-related emails and other stuff that usually would’ve happened online. :(
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Photo credit: Image of Joe Jonas appears online at Wikipedia
September 10th, 2008 at 12:47 pm
Sure, a cute little “intern toy” would be nice, but of all people on the planet Earth, why *THAT* particular one? You could do better.
September 10th, 2008 at 1:27 pm
Oh, I know I can do “better” than a 19-year-old barely legal boy. :) I swear it’s two things:
(1) I have an extremely unusual attraction/addiction to boy bands. Have I already told you all my friend Mags and I got tickets for one of the NKTOB reunion tours?? :)
(2) My desire to corrupt little Joe Jonas is completely visceral and, admittedly, 100% wrong. But that’s what make him sooooo appealing. :) Oh gawd, maybe I’m going through a horny cougar thing without even knowing it? I say: BRING IT!!! :)
September 10th, 2008 at 4:40 pm
Oh my goodness!!
I am so much in agreement. I have been totally unable to keep up with my online life. What with trying to balance my painting, my business, and my insanely gorgous 20 month old twin boys!
So an intern would be great. I’m thinking more along the lines of Bollywood actress type though. Oh my days would be such a joy!
September 10th, 2008 at 5:49 pm
Lol. Good luck getting Joe Jonas to be your unpaid intern. :P
September 10th, 2008 at 7:35 pm
I am currently recoiling in abject horror over the knowledge that there is a NKTOB reunion tour. >Shudder<
Have a nice horny cougar day, and have fun deflowering some innocent teenagers!
September 10th, 2008 at 9:30 pm
Girl, you are a hot mess, leave that jail bait cutie oops I mean boy alone.
Baba Doodlius, I am dealing with a young boy on my trail and he is 21 and Jamaican and I keep saying no.
alicia
http://todaystyle.today.com/
September 10th, 2008 at 11:04 pm
i’m sure you can convince someone ;-)
September 11th, 2008 at 7:48 am
@ kali: Sounds like we BOTH need interns!! :)
@ Pete: THANKS for the good luck wishes!!!!
@ Baba Doodlius: YES, there is and I am soooooo there. :) I’ll post videos, photos, etc.
@ Alicia: You have a 21-year-old Jamaican doting on you and you keeps sayin no?!?! Girl, turn around and tell that boy YES, YES, YES. GROWL at him the next time you see him!! Actually, lately, I’ve been growling at random guys just for the hell of it, but I notice it makes a lot of people uncomfortable. Apparently, GROWL = “I wanna eat you” ?? :( Man, I wanna bring growling back.
@ wynsters the tigress: Oh, I just might try. ;)
September 11th, 2008 at 1:12 pm
Since when has “I wanna eat you” been a bad thing?