Thanks to Gawker, I’m much more excited about the state of dating in NYC and much less likely to hang myself. Last Tuesday, I wrote a blog post about a 2007 chart showing the male-to-female ratio in American cities. A couple days later, Gawker said, “Remember that male:female demographic map that statistically charted the surplus single females across the nation and made every single woman in New York want to hang herself? Turns out it was somewhat misleading [...]” Apparently, a totally amazing kickass person named Jonathan Soma shares my numbers fetish and rejiggered the map to make it adjustable by age. Go click the arrows and play with the map; seriously, it’s really fun!!! “So there is, it turns out,” Gawker explains, “probably a surplus of single young dudes, and an absolute paucity of single old dudes.” (Granted, this doesn’t account for the fact that each gay male pairing knocks out two eligible men but, whatever, it’s waaay too earlier to reconsider adding that variable to the map.)
I see men in my future. LOTS of them!!! :) Pop the chilled champagne and bring out the Trojan condoms. Oh, but, wait: How much can I indulge before I get that “slut” bumper sticker attached to my shiny forehead? “Don’t worry,” some of you are saying, “it’s already there, you just can’t see it!” Gee, thanks. On a more serious note, the “What’s the definition of a slut?” question has been swimming my brain’s fluids for nearly a week. First, we had the VMAs–Russell Brand joked he wanted to ‘capture’ the Jonas Brothers‘ collection of purity rings and Jordin Sparks defended the virginal jewelry saying something like, “not everyone wants to be a slut, okay?!?!” So, those are the choices: you’re either a repressed, purity ring-wearing virgin or a slutty chick who hangs out spread eagle on her bed just waiting for the long line of men to enter?! Oh, wow.
“What IS today’s definition of a slut?” a woman named Andrea Davis asked after noticing I posted Jezebel’s response to conversation on The View on my Facebook. One of my high school buds, Heidi C., also commented:
Purity rings are a joke. (Frankly, The View is a joke too. Both are superficial in their content and don’t examine the core of the matter.) Does it matter to you, personally, to maintain “sexual purity?” ‘Cause if you’re looking at the Bible and literally holding it to be true, then even looking at somebody else while having sexual desire for that person would be equivalent to breaking one of the Ten Commandments. “Thy shall not covet thy neighbor’s wife.” People that wear these rings still have sexual drives. To not acknowledge this basic fact of human life absurd. You could compare the purity rings to using wallpaper to cover a hole in the wall. Yeah, you’re making a statement, but the hole in the wall – or the sex drive – is still there and nothing that you can tell or show others is going to cover up the truth.
Wow!! VERY WELL SAID!!! Couldn’t have said it any better myself. How about you, dear readers? Any comments about purity rings? Or wanna take a stab at finishing this statement: “I think today’s definition of a slut is _____.”
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Credit Paid: Big drippy kisses and THANK YOUs go out to Peggy B. giving me the heads up about the Gawker article!!
{ 26 comments… read them below or add one }
You become a slut when your amount of sexual partners shoots pass the double digits and the word about you starts to get around. Once the word is around then guys try you because they know they gettin ya draws for sure. Once guys start saying holler at a particular girl because she gives it up for sure its official she is a slut.
shoots past double digits as in over 99?
You’re a slut if you’re unmarried and you don’t wear a purity ring. The Jonas Brothers told me so.
On another note, one that is absolutely irrelevant and unrelated to today’s topic: anybody else ever thought that “Magnum” condoms should have been called “Trojan Horses” instead?
I think today’s definition of a slut is __one who, in sexual matters, cares only about gratification of self and not about the consequences, nor the object of desire nor any innocent bystanders.
You know who you are.
Girls, if you get no phone calls during daylight hours and you never meet friends/parents/doorman and you are never asked out to high class events or places where you can been seen in public… you are being treated as a slut.
alicia
http://todaystyle.today.com/
the word slut reflects a persons confidence and pickiness. have sex all you want with who you want, its when you lose your confidence and just give it up to anyone that happens to be around that you become a slut.
I don’t believe in the word sl*t because it has negative connotations but I think it technically refers to any girl who has sex before she is married.
What is a man who goes over double digits in partners? Lucky? The word slut should be retired. It is just an insult now, meaningless. Promiscuity is the behaviour being described and a gender free word has to be found I think to describe promiscuous men or women.
maybe it’s just me but looking at that map me want to hang myself since i’m right in the middle of one of those blue, uhh, umm, circles.
(i almost wrote blue balls. hehe i said “balls.”)
would’nt that be a person who gets what they want better than what they need…
lamesabassman…… ” next……”
Twanna, lets set up a gameplan: I’ll hold the word “slut” down, and you get the shotgun and put two between the temples. It’s old, useless, and needs to retire…even if that requires brutal, unrelenting, Magnum Force-styled, uh, force.
America is young country, and still quite immature in many ways–particularly in regards to sexual relations (and violence, too). If you want to bone, boink, do the deed, or play hide the cold cuts, do it with as much passion as you would with your your favorite sport or game. Religious views, invariably, have shaped view of sexuality, but I don’t believe that some aging father figure is going to point this finger at be from across the galaxy (or where he resides) and hellbound me for giving the loins a good work out.
I like sex. You like sex. We like sex. I say do it, til you cant do it anymore–just keep it clean, and dont crush too many hearts in the process.
I LIKE SLUTS!!!. I mean come on who doesn’t. I know the traditional definition of the word means a girl who sleeps around with reckless abandon, but can’t a husband and wife or boyfriend and girlfriend be slutty together or do slutty things, or is it not slutty then. I for one don’t go out looking for the girls wearing purity rings, i am looking for the ones wearing clit rings. Does that make me a slut? or am i just slut curious? If you feel like sleeping with a different person every night then do it. Trust me there is somebody out there that will love you for it.
i sometimes think about this too, because i’m single for a couple of years. if you count the number of guys one person sleeps with, the number might be high, and it keeps on growing with age. but.. hell… i don´t think that’s too much having sex every few months! and hell, if it happens to be with different guys…it might now be our fault! guys don’t want to commit and we, single girls, are still human with needs!
if i could choose, i’d rather be called slut AND have a SATISFYING sex life :) (but the thing about hooking up is that you have a lot of bad sex too. oh god, i wish i could erase some dates from my life!)
’tis sad indeed that in these enlightened times that when a person tends to enjoy
themselves in an adult manner….. the ones who couldn’nt get laid with a Black Card in one hand and good looks in another….. just have to start with The Titles..
there is more to life than money…fame… and yes, fortune ….. and it’s called Being
at Home in Your Own Skin….. if … at any time in your brief time here that you can look yourself , straight…. no chaser, in the eye in the morning before you leave your home …. face in the mirror mode and say …” I’m cool with myself and with all that comes into my life as of now and forever….. ” then… no one can hang a Title on you….. only you can…..
lamesabassman…… ” and in the end…. the love you make is equal to……
the love you take….” Life is Short… make it long..
i was askin my buddies what a slut was and we came to these conclusions – bare in mind that none of us are religious or prudes or anything
makin out with random guys, at least 4 a month, your a slut. now if they are all nice guys, maybe not, but if they are greasy drug dealers, then not only are you a slut, you are a dirty slut.
then, havin sex, one of my buddies said that if you have sex with a guy you have been dating 2 weeks or less makes you a slut, one said a year, so i dont know, thats what i was told
Look todays defingition of a slut IS !!! =)
see, a hoe is a female who is one with her self wanting material things such as, money and so forth exchange for sex
a slut mite have sex without pay but i dont really kno how that works cuz i usually find out if my X is or not after we break up
but thats another story.
A slut to me is someone who has sex with a someone that has a partner already and she knows they are together but don’t care. Don’t be a homewrecker ladies. That is a definition of a slut right there.
I agree that its not a number thing. Ive had a girlfriend who slept with about 15 guys in 4 years but with people she knew for a while or dating or seeing or whatever, so it didnt worry so much. But then I dated a chick who had only ever slept with 8 blokes, but the way it happened made me think she was a slut. Things like cheating on her boyfriend with a married guy, in public place, a few randoms, And let three blokes do her in the same session.
So I guess everyone has thier own opinion of what a slut. But ask any ladys if they’re a slut and they will all say they don’t fall into that category no matter what they’ve done HAHA
Todays definition of a slut. Someone who is sexually promiscuous.
The double standard always exists. that doesnt invalidate the above statement.
slut is to female as;
rake is to male
cad is to male
Lets look at the facts. How many women want some guy to be sexually promiscuous, then woo them, have sex with them, and never call them again, moving on to other women? How many women want a guy to be promiscuous outside a real relationship? If a guy is promiscuous outside of relationships, is he considered less desirable?
So why, women, would you want to be a slut like these males? There’s a difference having sex and being a slut. I don’t have sex with sluts because of the very reasons that I find they are sluts. they do it because of shallow self esteem issues. Every one of them that I’ve known. They lack a core identity, and so cannot make good choices. So why would I help them make a bad choice for themself? Avoiding their own issues by drowning in sex. Just like alcoholics or video game addicts. A person does something to excess to avoid personal issues. Sluts are worthy of sympathy, but will probably spread a disease to you given the chance. Additionally, you know humans are genetically hard wired for monogamy, right?
Additionally, I’m going to agree with Bill on both of his paragraphs. and Im an atheist.
I just think, there’s a reason no matter who you are, on a basic level you don’t want to be involved with a promiscuous person. its dirty, liable to contract disease, etc. And does that feeling change if you use all the protection in the world? Best to listen to instincts since they have gotten humanity this far, best not to listen to weak arguments about how slutiness is “okay”.
well….. guess that explains 2/3 of Hollywood…… the south of France….. and
Hoboken, New Jersey….
lamesabassman…. does that mean that a cad is a slut, too……
ok, first off, your a slut. purity rings do not mean we do not think lustful thoughts, but it means that we do not act on them. we have something called self control. self control is something you might want to look into =] thanks
doriii: You’re funny. As in, you know, “you are” funny. ;) Sorry, I couldn’t stop giggling after you revealed you might not know the difference between the words “your” and “you’re.” I’m certainly not a grammar freak and, typically, I moderate silly comments such as the one you’ve (a contraction of “you have”) left above because it violates my site’s comment policy: Be Kind. However, in your case, I thought I’d let your ignorance speak for itself.
Dang……
lamesabassman…… Dang…
I think that a slut today is a person who has sex just to have sex. Someone who does it because they can. There is a difference between meeting someone, sparks flying and having sex, with multiple people and going somewhere with the intention of having sex with anyone who fits the bill. Having sex a lot with different partners does not a slut make. Making 100 sexual partners in 2009 your new years resolution may be a path to promiscuity.. I’m jus’ sayin’.
A slut is simply one who confuses a closeness with sex. The word gets around. Guys really don’t care about ramifications