The Art of Zen Blog Comments
Stick with me today, folks. I don’t usually write really long blog posts but I really wanna make an important point. In yesterday’s comment section, a FUNKY BROWN CHICK reader, “N. Sampson”, left an interesting comment after calling me a “talented writer normally showcasing sagacity beyond your years and critical thinking/analytical skills to be envied [...]” Of course I love this N. Sampson person! :) We just disagree on a few things.
“Would you take anyone seriously if they tried to diagnose themselves with “mild” schizophrenia or sociopathic neuroses or aspergers?” (SIDENOTE: Read yesterday’s post for the backstory.) Anyway, so, my answer to that question is a Sara Palin-style “You betcha!” Now, here comes the long-winded stuff.
I’m fairly open about the fact that I’ve been in therapy since I was a teen. In my funkybrownchick@yahoo.com email account and Facebook inbox, people repeatedly ask me a variation of: “Um, so, you said something about going to therapy. What’s that like? Do you feel like you get anything out of it?” I’m a strong advocate of emotional health, and I think it’s unfortunate that folks outside NYC and LA stigmatize therapy. I think the stigma / unhealthy attitude sustains itself because people like to polarize the shit. EITHER you’re 100% batshit crazy and you need therapy OR you’re sane. EITHER you’re anorexic/bulimic OR you’re normal with harmless “weight issues.” And, yeah, I’ll say it, EITHER you’ve got BDD and you hate yourself so much you wanna die OR you’re just a little bit too fucking happy and stable to belong anywhere near that camp.
“Would you ever blame a cancer patient for not being able to ‘separate themselves from the issue’? or an alcoholic? Or a manic depressive? Or someone that just got trashed by a boy/girl-friend?” Sampson asks these questions and, oddly enough, this cycles back to me being a critical thinker (i.e. forming opinions based accuracy of information, logic, credibility of sources, fairness, yada yada yada.) I specifically linked my Into the Wild post when I used the phrase “can’t separate themselves from the issue” because I thought it was a good example. In that post, I asked folks what they thought about Chris McCandless’ death. “Sad and stupid? Or, sad and inspiring?” A commenter named Donnie’s answer? “Some of these responses amaze me. People are so God awful full of themselves and caught up with the over-indulgence of today’s society.” Donnie went further to rail against the “pompus S.O.B.’s” in the comment section who “sit up in your towers on your computers in your world of 21st century conveniences […]”
The opposite of critical thinking isn’t ignorance — it’s arrogance & ideology. If someone can’t even THINK about a topic (or a country, or a presidential candidate, or body weight) without becoming 100% mentally closed to the idea that a valid, dissenting reality exists outside their individual and personal views – that’s not healthy. It probably signifies deeper, unresolved issues. And … If you feel the urge to leave vitriolic attacks in the comment section of blogs you claim to hate written by people you don’t know, that’s not good. Emotionally healthy people are kind to themselves and others. They’re also unlikely to put up with people who are unkind to them. Hence, again, the FUNKY BROWN CHICK comment policy is “be kind.”
Sorry about the long post. Just noticed I’d never really explained WHY my blog comment policy is what it is. And, now, a word of advice to all who read FUNKY BROWN CHICK (because I truly think everyone should be in therapy). If the only time you open your mouth to talk about life’s struggles (if ever), is when you have the ear of untrained friends and family — who are typically ill-equipped to do more than offer biased advice, sympathize or give you a “there, there, it’ll get better” pat on the back before sending you on your way – find a therapist.
I’ll continue to blog about weight issues, sex, dating, relationships, BoySnacks, and everything else. But, I think I’ve now said everything I ever wanted to say about responses to that damn BDD post.
The end. Have a good weekend, folks!
October 10th, 2008 at 8:49 am
point well taken, but to be engaged in thought requires being fairl well read and most folk aint
October 10th, 2008 at 8:58 am
no more green M&M’s for you…..
lamesabassman…… is that a prolog for the next book……. Dang.
October 10th, 2008 at 12:25 pm
I’m in therapy for being a compulsive blog reader. I get particularly hooked on the really long posts.
October 10th, 2008 at 12:49 pm
To me, the post seemed like a loquacious way of using ” political correctness” to hammer you into some form of censorship.
Like if you say ” fat people are fat” you sudenly have to stumble over an apology to, people who consider themselves fat. To me that’s kind of crazy……I’d like to apologize to all the crazy people i’ve offended just now ( medicated and non medicated).
I’m just tired of not being able to have ” free speech” without getting slammed by somebody who takes an issue or statement way out of context.
October 10th, 2008 at 3:09 pm
dkzone
you hit the nail on the head. Now that you mention it, even though what i wrote had absolutely nothing to do with political correctness, maybe it was just me trying to bludgeon Twanna into an apology for not using euphamisms.
And yeah, “fat people are fat” is an excellent summation of the two posts. Jesus why did I write so much when I could have just said “lady story baaaaad”.
And free speech? You’re right again – totally blows when there’s the risk of other people speaking freely too.
October 10th, 2008 at 3:12 pm
On that note I think I’ll drop it now. Twanna, sorry if I bummed you out.
October 10th, 2008 at 4:17 pm
Yo – I guess this is my first official reply – I love the blog, but Twanna you have to realize that even if you said the sky was blue you’d still end up offending some people. And that there are always going to be stuck-up people in the world who refuse to see your point of view, valid or not. As your blog gets more readers, and I’m sure that’s your intent, this will happen more and more. That should not be a surprise. Let those folks be, be wise and ignore them. Don’t waste your precious bandwidth giving those guys exactly what they want. Having a semi-violent reaction, paired with anger and a post simply to address your dissenters, might not give your best readers their favourite material. Perhaps others are different, but I turn to your post for fun, bold, daring, and innovative insights about sex and relationships. If I want to hear people arguing about how they’re right, even when they are, I’ll just turn over to politics. Your last 2 days’ posts and replies turned me off a little. Let’s hope I’m the only one.
October 10th, 2008 at 11:13 pm
You are totally right about therapy. It helped me to realize that I’m too hard on myself and it also helped me realize other things about myself as well. I love your blog, you are such an inspiration to me.
October 11th, 2008 at 2:35 am
Just a comment on therapy, from a black woman in LA LOL….I think the stigma reaches past not living in the ‘big city’ but something that is ingrained in our community. My friends, sisters and cousins always speak of therapy as if it is some secret witch craft, and especially unacceptable if they are God fearing.
Just my 2 cents.
October 11th, 2008 at 4:24 am
say what…. tha’ sky …. ain’t blue……. that’s just great…. my world is empty now…
thanks for the buzz kill…….
lamesabasman…. a pox on your pinky toe…..
P.S. Moebius….ya mean this ain’t the WWF….. bring it … or lose it…. smile…
ya mean a Sista can’t flex when she aims to… I feel ya… but… Dang… if ya
say what you mean and it goes left of center in the hearts and minds of
those in the great beyond…. does it make a sound…. or does it get to ya…
October 11th, 2008 at 4:36 am
my man…Mr.D
talks the talk… and walks the walk……
and his feathers … are perfect….
lamesabassman….. ever dance with Mrs. D in the pale moon light… ahhh romance….. ‘nest pa
October 12th, 2008 at 8:21 am
You know I have to agree whole heartedly with ‘rawdawgbuffalo’, it does take a well read person to have a conversation with another well read person…
October 13th, 2008 at 1:47 am
@ rawdawgbuffalo: VERY good point!
@ lamesabassman: What’s wrong with green M&Ms?
@ Baba Doodlius: I can help you ease your way down to shorter ones. :)
@ dkzone: ;)
@ N. Sampson: :)
@ Moebius: Is Mr. Poopy Pants is turned off by heavier (pun intended) discussions? You’ll be a’ight. ;) NOTE TO FBC READERS: I actually know Moebius — that’s the only reason I’m calling him Mr. Poopy Pants.
@ starkitty50: THANK YOU for the kind words.
@ Jazzy: Ooooh, don’t even get me started on therapy & the black community. Actually, I’ve already got an interview scheduled to talk about that very topic. I’ll post the link when it’s live.
@ lamesabassman: :)
@ DJ Ed-Nice: Rawdawgbuffalo says a lot of good stuff. Check out his blog!!!
October 13th, 2008 at 10:41 am
there is nothing wrong with them….. they just take you to a higher plane…. dont tell anybody but Mr.D….. when you covered with feathers… ya can always need a little help….. smile….. hang tough,love……
lamesabassman…….. keep on pushin’…. straight ahead.
November 2nd, 2008 at 2:13 am
Thank you for your website ;)
I made on photoshop backgrounds for myspace and youtube and ect..
my backgrounds:http://tinyurl.com/6ptkxd
all the best and thank you again!