I just got a fantabulous email from that woman in Negroshire, Peggy Brunache. “Ok, I got a question for you,” she starts. “Do you or your black female friends find a white man ‘all of a sudden’ attractive once you find out he’s married to a black woman?” Here’s the backstory … Apparently, Peggy saw a TV interview with British actor Luke Goss. She thought he was just another dude until she found out he’s been married to a black woman since 1994. “All of a sudden,” she says, “he became attractive to me. I want to know more about the guy and what makes him tick.” Peggy says she’s more impressed when white dudes marry their black women. “Anyone can screw someone from another race or ethnic group. It’s definitely another thing to take on society’s issues when you publicly state ‘I married this woman of color for better or for worse!’”
Essence magazine did a photo slideshow called “Famous Sisters Find Love In Interracial Relationships” highlighting black female celebrities with white boyfriends or husbands. Go look at it. Moving right along … I totally agree with Peggy, and I’m not sure this is solely about race. I’m attracted to people who understand and have things in common with me. If I find out a black American man speaks another language fluently and/or spent a significant time living abroad, I think that’s gorgeous. If I find out a white dude has (or had) a black girlfriend or ex-wife, I suddenly think he’s a little bit more attractive. Why? Because I’ll assume he’s open-minded, liberal and down with the brown. All good things. It’s not just about how someone looks, it’s about who I perceive that person to be. I know I’m not alone on this because I’d say at least 42.8% of Robin Thicke’s appeal among black women is the fact that he’s married to a black woman. Gabriel Aubry was gorgeous (to me) anyway, but he sizzled a bit more when he linked up with Halle Berry. “Big” from Sex and the City (Chris Noth)? Same thing. And, yeah, I’m sure Robert DeNiro has dated white women at some point in his life … we’ve just never seen them. ;) Is it a coincidence that I think all those boys — Thicke, DeNiro and Noth — are hot? Would they catch my eye as much if they had white girlfriends? Honestly … Probably not.
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Whoa, looks like I missed a few comments here …
@ Anthony B: As I mentioned before, “Is there a double standard when it comes to black man/white woman vs. black woman/white man? Maybe. It is fair or right? Nope.” For the record, I don’t care who wants to do who — whether it’s black women, black men or anyone else.
@ lamesabassman: :)
@ JoeBmore: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Let me point back up to the original blog post: “I’m attracted to people who understand and have things in common with me. If I find out a black American man speaks another language fluently and/or spent a significant time living abroad, I think that’s gorgeous. If I find out a white dude has (or had) a black girlfriend or ex-wife, I suddenly think he’s a little bit more attractive. Why? Because I’ll assume he’s open-minded, liberal and down with the brown. All good things. It’s not just about how someone looks, it’s about who I perceive that person to be.” Yes, give Rachel credit where credit’s due. But, containment, containment, my friend. Please don’t generalize one or two comments to (1) the entire blog post and/or (2) to be a reflection of black women’s attitude by saying “the heart of the article is basically dealing with some black woman’s feelings of insecurity.” Further, you mention: “It implies too me that only a white man can validate the beauty of a black woman.” Nope. I think the point that several people made above is that the media denies black women’s beauty, so it’s nice when people actually step above the bullshit and appreciate it. And, yes, I think you’re painting with a broad brush. If you’re *SERIOUSLY* interested in understanding the politics of images of beauty and how the pop culture media affect culture, read up on the “Black is Beautiful” movements of the 1970s.
@ cecestar: :)
@ Zen: Yeah, I saw Something new. Gonna do a post on movies about interracial couples soon — similar to the one I did about movies with older women and younger men. :)
@ George: Thanks for the link.
@ Mimi Elizabeth: See my comments to #JoBmore.
I tend to prefer to date white guys, but I dont necessarily view white guys as MORE attractive when I find out they’re dating or married to black women. A attractive white guy is an attractive white guy, whether or not he’s with a black woman.
That being said, I prefer to date white guys who have dated black women in the past…. I dont really feel comfortable being the ‘first black girl’ for every white guy I meet.
I like this article.
FreeAfroDate.com
@ Gloryus: Oh, but being first (at anything) can be a lot of fun. Just ask Obama. ;)
@ lina: And this post likes you.
My final post on this subject, the feeling I get from these posts is that some of you feel a white guy is more attractive when he has dated a black woman but feel insulted and angry when you see a black dude with a white woman or rather (non black). That doesn’t work, either you are for IR relationships or not, can’t be for them for you but against them for us. Chose a side of the fence and go there, don’t try to straddle the fence. If you can fuck other races so can we. Don’t want to hear that bullshinto about lack of men either, there are plenty of black men around, just some of you have way too many qualifiers. He has to be this tall, this rich, this whatever.
In fact it seems in my case that I was cute as a kid and as a teen I got my share of, by being funny but I am not a goodlooking dude by any means. I give it hell in the sack though and I am a black dude that admits to eating… That has gotten me every woman I hav e ever wanted. As far as looks go though, it was not until I dated white and chinese girls in highschool, and chinese and trinidadian (sp?) in college that some black woman thought I was attractive.
In other words stop being so superficial, there are plenty of us out here, well not me anymore but others. Look past the top layer and you might find the treasure you say you want.
Now that I think about it, my first white girlfriend was in middle school, still friends today. Still cute as hell too.
Here is my third last post (okay I keep coming out of retirement), in my dealings with black women, my ex-wife is one and many
ex-girlfriends are also.
I have noticed that black women seem to give black men nothing but a hard time, argumentative, loud talking them, challenging their manhood, etc…
Yet when with white men or rather non-black men they are nothing but sweetness and light.
I have often wondered if this is because of some perceived inferiority complex, the same that drives them to seek affirmation in the white man’s eye.
Not that all of you seek this or even feel this was but some come off that way with their posts.
Get in where you fit in, but don’t seek affirmation in others eye’s.
About the first white girlfriend in middle school, we were both in middle school. She was in grade 7 and I was in grade 6.
Just wanted to clarify, that first version read too pedo to leave it.
Okay, I was flipping through the comments and a few caught my eye. The comments regarding successful black females being single in particular. This statistic is not opinion it’s fact and I’m evidence of this fact. I’m from Toronto, I have a Masters education and a fantastic job. I didn’t date much in high school because I went to a 90% Catholic Italian school. Of course there were guys that I was attracted to but I was never approached. I didn’t really date in university as I went to a University outside of Toronto (Western) that is mainly White (although students at the time that weren’t from the city thought it was incredibly multicultural, generally because they had never stepped foot on a uni campus in Toronto). Anyway, I moved to London for Grad school and FINALLY began dating. I dated men of all races ethnicities and religions. I left the UK for a job in California and I am back on the market as another successfully single black female and it is so disheartening (I wish I was working in Toronto where interracial dating would be a non-issue). It’s not as though I am only interested in dating black guys, because that is not the case at all, I’m attracted to men in general, and I have long given up on that idea, but the majority of white guys seem to be too intimidated to approach black women (myself and my single black friends…[bare in mind I keep a very mixed group of friends and it is only ever us black gals that have a hard time on the dating scene]), and the majority of black men seem to go for white women (my white friends being the case in point). I don’t have a problem with black men dating white women, but I do have a problem with black men who date white women exclusively,and will literally push gorgeous black Halle Barry look-a-like types out of the way in clubs to get to a white girl and visa-versa. I find it baffling and really annoying. I wish everyone would get over their racial-hangups because right now, I’ve been left out in the cold and America is just frustrating me. I’m attractive, I’m educated and I’m successful and simply because I’m a black female I am still single.
ahem….. Art J…… have we been in the green M&M’s again…. I notice a few missing……. 59 sides of the same hide…. and all are sooooo deep… many are called…. but, few are chosen….. and this be a mighty deep chosen….. and I can
feel the pain…. the wonder … the hope….. the vanquished rising tide of silence…
and the all knowing reason for being real at all costs… the road less travelled is
the very one each and every one of you have stopped here to say…. then gone
into the wind … to taste the slings and arrows of life outrageous as it happens.. you faded the fates and roll your point… and you’re still standing..
you’re still on the case …. sharing the pain and joy of whatever is getting you thru the night…. that cold-hearted reaper called Life awaits the dawn’s early
light to cast you into play once more…… dont keep score…. you dont need
more….. you need to be ……. it ain’t fun if you ain’t…..
lamesabassman…….. got game……
Lamesabwhateveryournameis,
Reduce the dosage by half and repost that comment.
Keep in mind my comment that this observation is based on MY dealings with black women,if your reality is different the bully for you. If I saw a red car and you saw a yellow one doesn’t mean I didn’t see a red one, you just saw a different car. If you can understand that. Your experience may just be different then mine.
@Sarah
I read your story on Topix. Stop following me. lol
But I would say that you seem to be an interesting well traveled person. Date whomever you want, and enjoy your life.
But I have issue with this statement.
“I do have a problem with black men who date white women exclusively,and will literally push gorgeous black Halle Barry look-a-like types out of the way in clubs to get to a white girl and visa-versa.” – That would never happen in a million years. If it did happen then that loser was the exception and not the rule.
Trust Me. If you are everything you say you are. You should not have any issues dating any race of man in America.
Best of luck to you.
ahem… Art J….. have you been in the dark that long that you dont know when
someone is in agreement with you….. so you have been around the block… so has everyone on the planet…. and everyone has their own private Idaho…. at the
moment…. Pain seems to be at a all time high and the only remedy is to vent…
venting is good…. when done with some thought process involved…. all worries
just float away….you can be all over map as a long as you have some location to
arrive alive…. all your points are valid as long as you ID the target first…. I have your back for I have walked those mean streets…. you have to know when to say
when and step to the next level and live your life…… leave the past with the trash
the green M&M’s represent whatever gets you thru the night… they could be your thoughts … or your actions whatever motive moves your emotions…
it’s not drugs…. or booze… or sex that eases your path in life…. but your
positive take on your situation and apply that to your gain…..
in the book ” The Art of War” it is said when you resort to negative actions
you have already lost your cause…… in a world such as this…. being positive
is your best weapon…. forward ever, backwards never…..
and it’s lamesabassman…. to you…. to get respect,you have to give it… on every damn level of and in… your life…. it’s the only thing that no one can
take from you…. it’s you that has the power…. to toss it away…..
lamesabassman…. comedy is easy….. life is hard….” livin’ up yourself”
Good point there bud, I’m no poet so the stream of conciousness there is wasted on me, I am just a simple man with a brain that works in fits and starts. Did not mean to offend you, did not understand you. I am not one of the enlightened folk out there so boil it down to simplest terms for a brute like me please. My brain could get stuck in the mud trying to keep up with you buddy.
cool runnings, star…. all is Irie…… enjoy the life you live….. for it can all change
on the morrow…. in a NY minute…..
smile ….. it moves the soul…. and then you’re on a roll
lamesabassman….. I was once … you…. am now … enlightened….. grow…
I’m a white male who finds other women of other races more attractive then women of my own race. I wouldn’t call it self hatred, I’m very proud of my heritage and my race. I currently am dating an asian women and I coudlnt be happier. I like the difference in culture, and I like to learn new things. Women of other races just interest me more, I find them more attractive and fun to be around.
Just my two cents.
I agree Ryan the interest in an other persons relationship is not that we are a like… but what can I give this person I’m adoring caring loving …in this relationship to share these gifts with others…
relate to give… to create together
i really like black women but i really like you funky brown chick i love hoy you look what you wear you the best black women a man could ever find and if you dont like me ok
when i said hoy you look i really meant how you look
K
lamesabassman …. are we still on the heart of the matter or did we go astray..
I am a moor, moreno, negro,pietro, blackman, latino, latino moreno, these are all name that i am called because my mother and father bless their hearts are from the beautiful island of Borinquen(Puerto Rico), I am a nationalist who know his story therefore i know my race. Know that I got myself out of the way, i will like to ask all blackwoman and man a question? WHAT HAS THE CAUCASIAN MAN AND WOMAN DONE TO DESERVE YOUR LOVE AND ADMIRATION?
pontificated on these if you do not fear thinking
yep….. made that wrong left turn southeast of the Memphis Blues …. again….
lamesabassman…… which way is ….. up…..
co. sign. i thought chris noth was kind of sexy as Big on SATC, but when i saw that oprah rerun last week where they showed his baby mama on camera, he earned some extra sexy bonus points.
why are white men who date black women (but not those who fetishize us) more attractive? simple: people who find me and folks like me desirable are far, far sexier than those who don’t.
that’s true whether we’re talking about white men who date black women, or black men who date women with afros (’cause not all of y’all do).
the reverse also holds true. black men who date non-black women lose some sexy points due to the Wesley Snipes Factor. i’ve met, heard of and read about so many black men who throw black women under the bus to justify their dating preferences. so when i see a black man with a non-black women, my first reaction is usually, “i hope he’s not one of *those* negroes,” — unless said negro is broke, ugly, or triflin, of course. in that case, have at it.
I watched a CSI episode the other day with a guy–who I thought was cute anyway–start hitting on his black woman co-worker and yes, it gave him some sexy points with me. Major sexy points.
I think that it’s hot to see a celebrity who you think is attractive with someone who looks like you. It’s almost like: “We got him!”
P.S. Mr. Big/Chris Noth was so not sexy in my books for the Sex in the City era or movie but when I found out about his girlfriend on an IR site, it was like finding oil. He became instantly charming if not drop dead sexy.
I wouldn’t mind dating a black woman – if I could meet one. Where I live there are many black men dating white women but single black women seem practically non existent. The rare times I encounter one they don’t seem interested so it’s not something that’s really relevant in my life.
Has anyone heard of this following incident, it appeared briefly on national news but has quickly, is this something that is going to happen with interracial relationships in the future? Would you consider making this a feature in your website, it’s a horrible event and most articles on this site are more in the lighthearted vein but it might be interesting to do something more serious once in a while.
http://www.nydailynews.com/news/us_world/2008/11/06/2008-11-06_confession_in_torture_slay_of_brooklynra-2.html
Just when I was enjoying my retirement from this thread, this “stuff” is posted and I was compelled to comment.
Tiffany, why is it that wm/bw are okay but bm/ww is of one “those negroes”?
Manbouttown, what does that have to do with interracial relationships other then the fact that they were IR? The article I read made no mention of that being a motivating factor unless I read it wrong. I’ll reread it.
Okay manabouttown, I reread that article three times and I want to appologize, for even giving you the benefit of the doubt. That article had absolutely no mention of IR hate crimes, the only mention was in the comments by idiots who “want” it to be an IR hate crime. The fact that you brought it here and tried to pass it off as an IR hate crime speaks volumes about you and raises certain questions also. Goodday sir!
if this the remains of the Day….. then we all must ashamed and angry that there
are still such that walk the Earth and think in this matter….. everybody at one
time or another must and will find someone to love ….. and it’s nobody’s biz on the who… what … when… where or why… if it fits your life …. then so be it…
if you are that jealous of someone’s joy,,, then go find your own…. dont snatch
someone else’s joy and life just because you think you should and do….. to do so
will get you the coldest, darkest spot that Hell can offer…. whatever the crime…
to do that to anyone …. is the crime…..
lamesabassman….. and it’s not even New Year’s yet and we still got the old ways still in our faces….. Damn.
For everyone’s information, I have been attracted to black females ever since an encounter in High School and I am exclusively black only.
i am asia of indonesia black woman or black man maybe will look beautiful when they are comfort each other.we cant judge about the race in indonesia we live with different race and i like too dating with white man,i think the world of some they like white man too but unfortune for me i always end,but i can learn for it so is normal white man and black woman get relationship is amazing to look.i have a lot friends black man from africa and local of in donesian but iam not dating with them because i dont comfortable.what i do like with foreigner exactly europe they are smart.everytime i just think why i dont stand with only one man haha kidding.so for black woman who married with white man take care your man and good luck
Man just being man who like to pretend at all i dating all over white man but always over,maybe just wait for the mr right.i dating white man a much of their conduct is fun or terrible,white man always treat they are girlfriend like a queen but that all bullshit.but honestly white man is amazing they dont shy same like me,in the past my ex they are from local, france,italy ,england,german,netherland,ukraine,chili,brasil,greek,egypt,india,america new zealand and i maybe travel lover,my ex-white boyfriend they are nice and i still keep their foto in my album ex-lover.Now i with handsome mature boyfriend from greek hi always being amazing me all the time.and his my last lover and my mr rigth,the thing is just you comfortable for happy if not just leave it, like me find another lover ha ha
First, I must say that Robert DeNiro dated Uma Thurman once so he’s dated caucasian before. Second, I find it offensive to say that if a man dates/marries black women (almost) exclusively then it must be a fetish. The man(in this case, Bobby DeNiro) is attracted to brown skin and shapely derrier like some men are attracted to blonds or petite women. What’s strange about that?
Second, there is a poster here who calls himself “Art J” who is obsessed with this blog it seems. He complains that black women are “I have noticed that black women seem to give black men nothing but a hard time, argumentative, loud talking them, challenging their manhood, etc…
Yet when with white men or rather non-black men they are nothing but sweetness and light.
”
yet he wants black women to validate his choice of being with an Asian woman. Basically he wants to kick black women with all the usual sellout tactics that black men employ, while at the same time try to prevent black women from being with non-black men.
Why is that? Does he fear that he(a black man) is no longer idolized as that prize that everywoman wants and black woman will sacrifice for? Does he not want another man with “his” woman, while claiming that he does not belong to her? Does she not have the right to be happy or find happiness elsewhere?
Art J, examine yourself.
My absolute last post on this long dead thread.
Jamaicanwhateverelseyoucallyourself
Dahhh! Yo Ass!!
I personally don’t give a rat’s ass who dates whom.
My point was and is, own your choices. Do whatever you do, do by choice. Don’t try to blame your actions on anyone or anything else. I do not and never have sought,wanted, or accepted validation by anyone else.
You said “His” woman, I checked my reciept book and I couldn’t find one where I bought a woman. There is no woman roaming this earth wearing a license that says “His Woman” on her neck. Only dogs do that. Which do you have a woman who chooses to partner with you or a dog you own wearing a “His woman” tag around her neck.
You seem to be that sort, seeking validation and “my woman”, seek mental health, and bypass the psychologist. Go straight to a psychiatrist, so you can be heavily medicated.
Right now you’re talking bullshit but “keep seein them burpdays!” mispelling intentional
One day you’ll get that pebble grasshopper.
the thread has been long dead yet here you are!
Your “point” is that black women should not blame black men, yet in the very same breath you dawg black women, claiming that they :
“give black men nothing but a hard time, argumentative, loud talking them, challenging their manhood, etc…”
I wonder what race your mother( aunts, sisters and daughters )belongs to. It’s funny that she didn’t seek an abortion when she found out her baby would be male, since as you claim, black women seem not to care to much for black males…
can shore feel the love up in heah….. whatever the whatever…. one must be in tune to all in which your vibe flows thru and surround whomever near to you….
and … if ya feel it on the rebound….. cool runnings….. you get what you give…
and when you dont….. best think that it’s the thought that counts and keep stepping…… start making the earth moves to your verse and you’re gonna be alone for a long time….. the earth moves you….. and from there, you flow… and never let your swagger get your ass in a sling…. check yourself to keep yourself
real…. when you ain’t….. the Ladies will know…. and so will your wasted days
and whiskey nights….. when that cold rain of Truth shows you the Light…..
lamesabassman……. ” nuff said…… to your corners and keep it clean……”
Oh jeez guy, try to make sence eh? Annoying.
I would like to meet some black women online.
would love to …. except bumbaclots never seem to listen and never,ever try to
understand just what makes ” sense “…. put down da spliff and air out the brain
and …just maybe everything will start to make ” sense”……
lamesabassman…… dont start none….wont be none….. respect.
p.s. and Brandon…. you came to the very right place to do so…..
lamesabassman….. ” fasten your seat belt… you’re in for quite a ride….”
All right iam redy.
lameasbassman, don’t pretend to know anything about Jamaicans because you sound ignorant. Unlike americans, VERY FEW Jamaicans smoke, and even less smoke weed. and it’s not “bumbaclots”, it’s bumboclawt. Ass!
Anybody eals in other then you two?
well….we from B’dos know ya very well….. some Rastas smoke…. some dont…
some are vegans….. some dont…. and some Jamaicans have much respect for
all….. and as proven here….. some dont…. I ‘n’ I dont like posers … and you sound like ” Trinidad” to me…… step away from the keyboard,star…. you cant hang if you you dont bring respect ….. you are but an pebble on a beach of clay
if you are not careful…… you might float away…..
lamesabassman….. you still hang wit da’ JNP…. Jah knows ya wrong….
and everyone who comes here must and do show respect…. and everyone does…
we may all disagree on so many topics… but we all do with respect….. this may be our house…. but it ain’t our house….. The Lady of this House allows us to come in …. sit and share whatever is in our hearts… minds… and souls….
and we do so with respect…. without malice a forethought….. I believe that is the only rule that stands firm….. respect….
and if you cannot do so,sir, then you are as empty and hollow as a Witch’s kiss…
lamesabassman…. respect can get you more than swagger… any day of the week.
Yas sir respecp is key I just askes qustion.
Yas sir respecp is key. I just asked qustion.
Party on…..
lamesabassman……
Cool!
this guy’s just weird. You certainly wouldn’t be the white man that I would want. I have no patience for fake people. Be yourself.
must be sad to be critical of things you do not understand….. I answered you at 3 pm
and you retort at 9 pm….. if it took you that long for a comeback…. it’s very true
that you have no patience…. nor common sense…. or the ability to comprehend
the very space you so sadly profane…. you are the poster child for birth control..
for to profess the talent to predict race and gender as you so richly displayed here for the whole world to see …. and judge…. well…. you,sir, are beyond me and all who contribute to this blog of Life…. for … I am not white… but at times,
that would be cool for a parsec just to see if Mr. Eddie Murphy was correct in that SNL spoof done so long ago…. but… yes … I’m a man…. more man than you could ever stand to deal with….. I am a Black Man….. who been to every garden spot in the world for Uncle Sam…… and am still here….. from ‘Nam to the Moog…… and the Sandbox….. and if you were rollin’ me with me with a mouth like that….. well… you would be walkin’ point until you caught a ” hot
one “…. then we would bag and tag your sorry sack of camel exhaust back to
your Mama… who raised you better than you are being right now with a letter
to explain just how you got here and why….. and after reading that … she
would toss you with the rest of the trash out in the ‘yard…. ’cause you were no son to speak of…… the weird one that you mention is you… and to have patience to even understand you is a virtue that will not be wasted on you….. you should listen to your own words.. and to yourself.. be yourself… and get that filter between your brain and tongue checked….
’cause it sounds like you’re way overdue….. for a recall…..
lamesabassman……..” free your mind…. and your ass will follow…..”
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