Who is Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich?
Sweet baby Buddha on a 10-speed bicycle!! I gotta interrupt melancholic ruminations about my love life to answer NY friends & others who’ve asked me: “What the fuck is going on in Illinois?!?!” I’m a New Yorker now, but I was born with a couple corn cobs hanging from my mouth in the Land of Lincoln. One of my best friends in high school lived on a farm. I. Have. Milked. A. Damn. Cow. So, really, I have to talk about Rod Blagojevich today. It’s a de-facto Wanker Wednesday.
The Backgrounder: Illinois is corrupt. Seriously. Fucking New York sent “Scarface” Al Capone from Brooklyn to Chicago in 1923; by 1924, he was almost running the place — taking ownership of Cicero’s town council. Barack Obama’s original opponent for the IL senate seat, Jack Ryan, paid someone to stalk Obama. Under cover of night, Mayor Daley once secretly ordered wrecking crews to bulldoze huge X-shaped craters in a small aiport’s runway because (Chicago voters wishes be damned!!!) he wanted it closed. And, speaking of airports, you know Chicago “O’Hare” is named after the son of “Easy Eddie” O’Hare — a mob lawyer who willfully collaborated and made a fortune with Scarface. Later, O’Hare got in bed with the Feds to bring Capone down; the gangster gave O’Hare a Chicago-style “thank you” by having him gunned down in his car. In the past 40 years, I think 4 out of 8 (or, depending how you count, 3 out of 6 … doesn’t matter, it’s half either way) IL governors have had brushes with federal prison. I’m not sure any state can match that. Shit, even the saying “vote early, vote often” specifically refers to Illinois’ long history of politicians/gangsters manipulating votes. Be ye not fooled by the Midwestern smiles; Iraq is less of a political minefield than Springfield, Illinois. People, I’m telling you: There are gangsters in them there cornfields!!
NO ONE in Illinois is surprised about Blagojevich. No one!!! :) The man is goofy. What other statesman cusses more than Tony Soprano? (Blag on Obama: “Fuck him!”) Who the hell goes on The Daily Show without knowing it’s a comedy??? A year or two ago, when The Daily Show interviewer called Gov. Blagojevich “Gov. Smith” because he couldn’t pronounce his name, asked him to pretend he was a hot 17-year-old who needed contraceptives and questioned whether he was the real “gay Governor”, Blagojevich’s response was: “Is he teasing me, or is this legit?” Who does that??? “With all due respect to the governor,” said someone baffled by the incident, “he [had to know] it was a comedy show. It’s general knowledge for people under 90 years of age.” And, of course, the newest goofiness from G-Rod Blago … apparently, the guy tried to “sell” Barack Obama’s Senate seat to the highest bidder. The seat, he said, “is a fucking valuable thing, you don’t just give it away for free!” So, if anyone out there is still wondering: “What the hell is going on in Illinois?” The answer is what it has always been: “Politics as usual.”
December 10th, 2008 at 11:00 am
I have to admit when I first heard the stat that 3 out of the last 6 Illinois Governors have been to jail…it threw me off guard. That’s one of those small facts that seems hard to believe. I found it even funnier that Blagojevich replaced Ryan and ran on a platform of reform. Maybe he just saw how much inauguration tickets were going for and how people in DC/MD are renting out rooms in the tens of thousands and figured “Hell, why not? I have a Senate seat that’s worth just as much”. LOL….pretty sad.
December 10th, 2008 at 11:57 am
You know I had no idea what true politics were like until I moved to and from Chicago a few years ago. Yeah…
December 10th, 2008 at 12:53 pm
I’d say Chaicago invented political corruption………
but i’m from New Jersey…and i’d be lying
LOL
December 10th, 2008 at 2:34 pm
For me, this is as good as any soap opera. I love it. I don’t think it’s a concidence that 3 out of the last 6 governors ended up in jail. We should put bets on how long until the next governor ends up in jail. What on earth was he thinking? And what’s wrong with Chicago politics today? Do honest politicians actually have a shot in Chicago? Or are they just not interested?
December 10th, 2008 at 5:16 pm
The problem is that the corrupt political machines in chicago are so entrenched that the only way to get someone even nominated, requires so much arm twisting and gear greasing….you’re dirty before you even get elected.
December 10th, 2008 at 6:06 pm
You milked an actual cow? Cool. I thought only machines did that nowadays. Was it fun?
I have always heard about Chicago’s politics being roughly like Louisiana’s, only much colder in the wintertime. Now the whole country knows.
December 10th, 2008 at 8:38 pm
I am also originally from Chi-Town, and worked for County govn’t for awhile and experience a little bit first hand how the system works. I live in DC now, and DC politics still doesn’t hold a candle to Chicago
December 10th, 2008 at 9:24 pm
You’re so very beautiful. Got beautiful, khaki/mauve skin. Got a thin shape. Got beautiful breasts. Not like those phat, flabby wiggas doing their groovy handjive you see on Lockup HawrHawrHawr How I’d love for U.S. to ascend after this lifelong demise, but, alas, not everyone goes Upstairs. Read our blog to discover my viewpoint on the way home — Got bawls? Most of U.S. don’t. Read the signs of the times (and between the lines) and know Almighty God’s a concrete, kick-ass reality. I’m proof! GOD BLESSA YOUSE -Fr. Sarducci, SNL
December 11th, 2008 at 6:06 am
It is better(or worse) than the Sopranos. And it is me or did Jesse Jackson Jr. come off a lil sweet in his press conference today?
alicia
http://todaystyle.today.com/
December 12th, 2008 at 1:32 am
what’s all this talk about calling for Blagojevich to “resign?” … “throw him in prison” sounds a lot more fitting
it gives me chills to see how calm and collected he continues to act
December 12th, 2008 at 3:19 am
egad…. you milked a cow……. I spent most of my childhood on a farm in Virginia
and the closest I ever came to a cow was with a John Deere tractor.. the summers
there were…. if I rose early…. I would get the egg detail….. as so as not to touch
a cow….. you got mad props from me…..
Dang….. Chi-town is as loopy as NYC…. just when you think it’s safe to watch the
news… this happens…. we must be the biggest pie in the world…. joe citizen…
if it ain’t Lincoln S&L… it’s Boesky and the Wall St. Cadets vs. the Enron Eagles…
then Katrina and the Waves of Nonsense…. just when we get kissed with a House
of your dreams Bubble Debt which took about 15 years to mature with age…
8 years of ” I bought your future for the price of your children”….. and now
Gov. Ron B. the poor man’s Sorprano…… is this what become of Chicago….
again…… as I do have faith in my fellow man…… am incline to believe that
W is his brother and they separated at birth… is anyone that clueless…..
and America keeps on keeping on….. and we would grow further if we just
looked a little closer at the people we elect to serve in our stead….
lamesabassman….” if you dont stand for something… you’ll fall for anything”
December 12th, 2008 at 3:57 pm
great comments. It is good that the feds are fighting corruption but I don’t trust them at all. Sounds to me like Blagojevich was doing something that is common practice…I would have preferred another approach to this particular crime, although I’m sure he is probably guilty of other crims we’ll never know about.
December 13th, 2008 at 3:54 am
I gotta put my 4 cents in on this one…
Ok…
Blago should go to prison for the crimes he committed (I agree)…
BUT shouldn’t the same be said of our dear George W. Bush??????
I mean…Let’s just set a standard across the boards and actually stick to it consistantly. Teach by example. Politicians seem to think they are above the very law that they are supposed to protect and govern.
December 13th, 2008 at 1:11 pm
OMG, I love this post. “Politics as usual.” True that! Not a huge surprise and certainly now a laughing matter, but it plays out like a comedy. Is anyone really that stupid? Apparently so.
December 13th, 2008 at 1:13 pm
I meant so say NOT a laughing matter (although now it is a laughing matter I suppose)
December 14th, 2008 at 4:54 am
zuelapooh gives pause to ponder….. if this New Gang Of Four had pull this caper
of 8 years any where else on this planet….. they would have Papa Doc’ed ….. in a
NY minute….. these were very high crimes against all that is forever holy…. and
soon…. too soon…. they all are gonna fade to black…. and do books…. speaking
venues….. Fox News….. they’re gonna spread them around and around…. and we
will do nothing….. ” when fact becomes legend…. print the legend..”
lamesabassman…… ” will you still need me,will you still feed me … when I’m 64″
December 15th, 2008 at 8:09 am
@ Kriss: I know. It’s sad/funny.
@ DJ Ed Nice: Chicago is a VERY special place.
@ dkzone: The folks in Louisiana claim they’re almost as corrupt as Illinois (and New Jersey?).
@ Mr. Poopy Pants aka Moebius: IL politics are EXACTLY like soap operas — including the melodramatic tears, too. (Has Jesse Jackson stopped the tear flow yet?)
@ dkzone: Good point!
@ Baba Doodlius: Yes, I’ve milked a cow. :)
@ Mags: I think Chicago might be the most corrupt city in the nation.
@ alicia: I missed the press conference.
@ movie buff: We’ll see what happens today. Each day brings new news about the case / incident / whatever they’re calling it.
@ lamesabassman: John Deere!! I have a friend from the Quad Cities, and practically everyone in her town works there. :) You know you’re from the midwest when you not only know about John Deere, but you can identify the various piece of big green and yellow farming equipment. :)
@ jorge carbajosa: You bring up a good point. It must’ve been fairly common practice.
@ zuelapooh: VERY interesting point!!!! Many people might possibly agree he should be tried for crimes against humanity.
@ Leslie: It is kind of funny because it’s almost unbelievable.
December 19th, 2008 at 8:57 pm
and… ma’am…. can rightly swear to represent to that statement .. if one.. such as
thought about anything else during those wild and crazy summers…. got to hand crank the dessert ice cream … and if anybody has ever hand cranked ice cream
as a kid could tell you….. it was the best of times…. it was the worst of times…
the preening in front of a summer love …. while showing all the male cousins
that you are not a weenie and Joe Cool is your middle name…. while dying ’cause
duhhh you’re hand cranking.. but when it’s done .. getting the first… large.. dip…
priceless……….
January 2nd, 2009 at 9:37 am
Shouldn’t the fact that Illinios has actually caught and prosecuted so many of its politicians reveal that it’s at least better at catching its corrupt politicians than other states. Just because a restaurant has no health violations doesn’t mean the employees actually wash their hands.
As for Daily’s “X-ing” Miegs Field…thanks for reminding me, just when I’d gotten over the 450 million dollar archtectural atrocity over at Soldier Field (and for that you don’t even get a roof!)…with 12 dollar parking!
One thing you can say about living in “interesting times” is that they are “interesting”.