Comments on: What Percent Marries for Love? http://funkybrownchick.com/2008/12/17/what-percent-marries-for-love/ Twanna is a sex, dating and relationships writer in New York City. She's funky. She has brown skin. And, she's a chick. FUNKYBROWNCHICK™ chronicles her life. Fri, 19 Mar 2010 02:01:27 -0700 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.6 hourly 1 By: Is Marriage Worth It? I Say No. | Twanna A. Hines @ FUNKYBROWNCHICK.com | sex. dating. relationships. http://funkybrownchick.com/2008/12/17/what-percent-marries-for-love/comment-page-1/#comment-80191 Is Marriage Worth It? I Say No. | Twanna A. Hines @ FUNKYBROWNCHICK.com | sex. dating. relationships. Tue, 06 Jan 2009 08:51:36 +0000 http://funkybrownchick.com/?p=1539#comment-80191 [...] would it be. The answer is, and always will be, our children.” See? Beautiful. That’s love. I sincerely wish them the best in marriage. For me, for now, I’m okay being single and [...] [...] would it be. The answer is, and always will be, our children.” See? Beautiful. That’s love. I sincerely wish them the best in marriage. For me, for now, I’m okay being single and [...]

]]> By: Sultana http://funkybrownchick.com/2008/12/17/what-percent-marries-for-love/comment-page-1/#comment-75587 Sultana Sun, 21 Dec 2008 09:13:31 +0000 http://funkybrownchick.com/?p=1539#comment-75587 Armando made a good point with regards to arrange marriage. It gets a bad rap, but In a lot of (non Western) nations, (India is a big example) people get together and negotiate a marriage contract--considering factors like money, family and social connections. Love can be, but isn't necessarily a huge factor in the equation. It definitely has a huge potential pitfalls, but for better or worse it works for quite a few people. While I think marrying for love is a good idea in theory, I don't think it should be the basis for marriage. (And at the risk of sounding totally cynical, what is "love" anyway??) Marrying for life-long companionship and mutual respect seems a lot more realistic to me. Armando made a good point with regards to arrange marriage. It gets a bad rap, but In a lot of (non Western) nations, (India is a big example) people get together and negotiate a marriage contract–considering factors like money, family and social connections. Love can be, but isn’t necessarily a huge factor in the equation. It definitely has a huge potential pitfalls, but for better or worse it works for quite a few people.

While I think marrying for love is a good idea in theory, I don’t think it should be the basis for marriage. (And at the risk of sounding totally cynical, what is “love” anyway??) Marrying for life-long companionship and mutual respect seems a lot more realistic to me.

]]> By: lamesabassman...... http://funkybrownchick.com/2008/12/17/what-percent-marries-for-love/comment-page-1/#comment-75315 lamesabassman...... Sat, 20 Dec 2008 12:17:39 +0000 http://funkybrownchick.com/?p=1539#comment-75315 it is said that if you wish to make God laugh.... just tell him your plans.... if you proceed with just one eye open and peel off just a little bit of your heart...you may make it...... but it's when you think you all when all it not known.... that's the trap that you make for yourself .... from the cradle to the grave... we all still chase to one thing we all crave...... love..... is it so much to ask for..... still.... lamesabassman...... Free your mind... and guess what follows....... it is said that if you wish to make God laugh…. just tell him your plans…. if you proceed with just one eye open and peel off just a little bit of your heart…you may make it…… but it’s when you think you all when all it not known…. that’s
the trap that you make for yourself …. from the cradle to the grave… we all still
chase to one thing we all crave…… love….. is it so much to ask for….. still….

lamesabassman…… Free your mind… and guess what follows…….

]]> By: missblackkitty http://funkybrownchick.com/2008/12/17/what-percent-marries-for-love/comment-page-1/#comment-75237 missblackkitty Sat, 20 Dec 2008 04:49:23 +0000 http://funkybrownchick.com/?p=1539#comment-75237 I think that most people go into marriage without having a clue as to what it's really about. You go into it with this idea, but then over time, you realize that it really isn't what you thought it was going to be. You may marry one person, but end up living with someone totally different 10 years down the road. After a while, you stay together for "the kids" and/or financial reasons and you try your best to find happiness with your hobbies, friends, kids, etc. Then when the kids move away and you are left alone with this person, typically you get divorced. There is no perfect marriage, but some marriages are more dysfunctional than others and the trick is to see what level of dysfunction are you willing to put up with. I'm speaking as someone who has been married for 10 and a half years. If I knew back then, what I know now, would I make the same choice?? I don't know, it's hard to say, but I have a lot of regrets... I think that most people go into marriage without having a clue as to what it’s really about. You go into it with this idea, but then over time, you realize that it really isn’t what you thought it was going to be. You may marry one person, but end up living with someone totally different 10 years down the road. After a while, you stay together for “the kids” and/or financial reasons and you try your best to find happiness with your hobbies, friends, kids, etc. Then when the kids move away and you are left alone with this person, typically you get divorced. There is no perfect marriage, but some marriages are more dysfunctional than others and the trick is to see what level of dysfunction are you willing to put up with. I’m speaking as someone who has been married for 10 and a half years. If I knew back then, what I know now, would I make the same choice?? I don’t know, it’s hard to say, but I have a lot of regrets…

]]> By: lamesabassman...... http://funkybrownchick.com/2008/12/17/what-percent-marries-for-love/comment-page-1/#comment-75214 lamesabassman...... Sat, 20 Dec 2008 02:14:21 +0000 http://funkybrownchick.com/?p=1539#comment-75214 not corny at all.. may a virus with the power as to spread such wonderment around the world become the most learned mystery to the reality we now live in.. and make us all feel real.... at least just once.... to have a memory to lean on lamesabassman....... " it's cold ... out here ... in the dark...." not corny at all.. may a virus with the power as to spread such wonderment around the world become the most learned mystery to the reality we now live
in.. and make us all feel real…. at least just once…. to have a memory to lean on

lamesabassman……. ” it’s cold … out here … in the dark….”

]]> By: Amiyrah http://funkybrownchick.com/2008/12/17/what-percent-marries-for-love/comment-page-1/#comment-74967 Amiyrah Fri, 19 Dec 2008 06:00:33 +0000 http://funkybrownchick.com/?p=1539#comment-74967 this may sound corny, but so far, I have only known 2 couples that have married for pure love. The first is hubby's grand parents. And the second is of course, us. How did I know Hubby's grand parent's were one? When his grandmother talked to me about their "courting" 60 years ago, I heard me talking. I already knew "our" story and the whole "princess bride," true love type deal had happened. I fell for this man and wanted to give my life for him, and before I could tell him that, he told me that he felt the same about me. Selfless love....I never believed in it, even as a lover of cinema. 8 years later, when I still sit and listen to Hubby's grandmother tell those "courting" stories, blush, and look so in love still, I know that's going to be me at 76. It does happen, but I agree that it's rare. On a side note, my parents married out of attraction. They are totally wrong for each other but don't believe in divorce. Go figure. this may sound corny, but so far, I have only known 2 couples that have married for pure love. The first is hubby’s grand parents. And the second is of course, us. How did I know Hubby’s grand parent’s were one? When his grandmother talked to me about their “courting” 60 years ago, I heard me talking. I already knew “our” story and the whole “princess bride,” true love type deal had happened. I fell for this man and wanted to give my life for him, and before I could tell him that, he told me that he felt the same about me. Selfless love….I never believed in it, even as a lover of cinema. 8 years later, when I still sit and listen to Hubby’s grandmother tell those “courting” stories, blush, and look so in love still, I know that’s going to be me at 76.

It does happen, but I agree that it’s rare. On a side note, my parents married out of attraction. They are totally wrong for each other but don’t believe in divorce. Go figure.

]]> By: lamesabassman...... http://funkybrownchick.com/2008/12/17/what-percent-marries-for-love/comment-page-1/#comment-74707 lamesabassman...... Thu, 18 Dec 2008 05:56:53 +0000 http://funkybrownchick.com/?p=1539#comment-74707 ahhh....Mr. D .......... if you are writing a book..... that statement make a wonderful theme.... what really happens out there.... what is the definitive crossroad that blends that thin line between what could have been; or, what never was, to say " I do..." and deal with all that curtails this sad ode of " Feelings.." yet concurred but gently denied ..... lamesabassman...... give thanks and praises to Mr. and Mrs. D. and Keep On, Keeping On..... ahhh….Mr. D ………. if you are writing a book….. that statement make a wonderful theme…. what really happens out there…. what is the definitive crossroad that blends that thin line between what could have been; or, what never
was, to say ” I do…” and deal with all that curtails this sad ode of ” Feelings..” yet
concurred but gently denied …..

lamesabassman…… give thanks and praises to Mr. and Mrs. D.
and Keep On, Keeping On…..

]]> By: Armando G http://funkybrownchick.com/2008/12/17/what-percent-marries-for-love/comment-page-1/#comment-74702 Armando G Thu, 18 Dec 2008 05:26:50 +0000 http://funkybrownchick.com/?p=1539#comment-74702 I see that there has not been a lot of lip service to the arrainged marriage concept. This is where the parents of the couple get together and negotiate, like experienced and wise adults, and see if their families are a fit. I heard that more couples who ended up in those marriages are happier that average since they had wise people guide them through what will end up being the longest lasting and most important relationship they will experience. I agree that the concept of marrying for love is a new development in the annals of human interaction. So when you think about marriage it would be worthwhile to consult your elders. They've been seen and done a thing or two, folks, you should at least ask for directions if you plan on making the trip down the isle. I see that there has not been a lot of lip service to the arrainged marriage concept. This is where the parents of the couple get together and negotiate, like experienced and wise adults, and see if their families are a fit.

I heard that more couples who ended up in those marriages are happier that average since they had wise people guide them through what will end up being the longest lasting and most important relationship they will experience.

I agree that the concept of marrying for love is a new development in the annals of human interaction. So when you think about marriage it would be worthwhile to consult your elders. They’ve been seen and done a thing or two, folks, you should at least ask for directions if you plan on making the trip down the isle.

]]> By: blkberri http://funkybrownchick.com/2008/12/17/what-percent-marries-for-love/comment-page-1/#comment-74675 blkberri Thu, 18 Dec 2008 02:17:11 +0000 http://funkybrownchick.com/?p=1539#comment-74675 *realist Who's to judge a good marriage, whether approached more like a business deal or done through the makings of true love. As long as they're together and HAPPY (a rarity in the microwave culture culture of today) go with whatever works for you. *realist

Who’s to judge a good marriage, whether approached more like a business deal or done through the makings of true love. As long as they’re together and HAPPY (a rarity in the microwave culture culture of today) go with whatever works for you.

]]> By: blkberri http://funkybrownchick.com/2008/12/17/what-percent-marries-for-love/comment-page-1/#comment-74674 blkberri Thu, 18 Dec 2008 02:13:08 +0000 http://funkybrownchick.com/?p=1539#comment-74674 I believe marriage for love, although recent, has definitely increased percentage wise over the decades. With the sexual revolution and women's rights movement, what else was left to marry for. It s a fairly recent phenomena thorough out the globe. Although, long with marriage for love or the illusion of love, comes the fact that people are not very realistic, hence the divorce rate. I believe all the factors mentioned in the article should definitely be taken into consideration when making the attempt to meld to completely different lives together. If it is not the right time, but your in love, the odds of the marriage working is still not not great. "Love" doesnt pay the bills and put food on the table. Love doesnt automatically make an 18 year old boy and girl mature enough to marry for the long haul. Love doesnt make any woman or man less likely to have a wandering eye around the "seven year itch". Im all for marrying for love (lol, it might not seem like it above), but as a realistic you just know better. I believe marriage for love, although recent, has definitely increased percentage wise over the decades. With the sexual revolution and women’s rights movement, what else was left to marry for. It s a fairly recent phenomena thorough out the globe. Although, long with marriage for love or the illusion of love, comes the fact that people are not very realistic, hence the divorce rate. I believe all the factors mentioned in the article should definitely be taken into consideration when making the attempt to meld to completely different lives together. If it is not the right time, but your in love, the odds of the marriage working is still not not great. “Love” doesnt pay the bills and put food on the table. Love doesnt automatically make an 18 year old boy and girl mature enough to marry for the long haul. Love doesnt make any woman or man less likely to have a wandering eye around the “seven year itch”.

Im all for marrying for love (lol, it might not seem like it above), but as a realistic you just know better.

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