Why Are You Still Single?
In high school, I subscribed to House Beautiful via American Family Publishers because I hoped Ed McMahon would arrive at my front door with a life sized $1,000,000,000 check written out to Twanna A. Hines. It never happened BUT … I have proof people actually do win contests. I won a three-night and four-day complimentary all-inclusive spa vacation package to Red Mountain Spa from SingleEdition.com. It includes a 50-minute Swedish Massage, deluxe accommodation, roundtrip shuttle service from Las Vegas, three daily gourmet meals / healthy living classes and daily guided hiking. I’m gonna see Zion National Park and Bryce Canyon. That’s at least 20 different shades of awesome! See, folks? It pays to be single. ;)
I sooo can’t wait to schedule and take this trip sometime next year; I need it. Needless to say, I’ll take you along by posting real-time videos, blog posts and snapshots. I’m thinking of turning it into a writing retreat: just me & my laptop, cranking out pages of the book. And, of course, HUGE hat tip to the folks at Red Mountain Spa and SingleEdition.com. Check out both of those sites. You never know … YOU might win something, too! Speaking of single stuff, I notice Single Edition just posted the Top 15 Comebacks to “Why are you still single”? on Facebook. Here’s the list:
1. What? And spoil my great sex life?
2. Why aren’t you dating/divorced yet?
3. It gives my mother/father something to live for.
4. I already have enough laundry to do, thank you.
5. Is this a proposal?
6. Because I think it would take all the spontaneity out of dating.
7. I’m waiting for you to get divorced so I can marry your wife/husband.
8. It didn’t seem worth a blood test.
9. The mail order bride/groom hasn’t arrived from Russia yet.
10. “I’m not done boozing and whoring”
11. Because having both a husband and a child would be redundant.
12. I’d have to forfeit my billion dollar trust fund.
13. I’m waiting for your son/daughter to turn 18.
14. Why settle for just one.
15. So I don’t have to cheat on my left hand.
Single people, if you often get asked “Why are you still single?” go to Facebook & and add a comeback to the list.
December 19th, 2008 at 1:19 pm
FBC….. you must see both Bryce Canyon and Zion National Park…. you will not believe your eyes….. the days and nights are magical…… but I digress….
to answer the above question….. ” because, my doctor said to get a second opinion…. ”
lamesabassman…. ” and I still have’nt found what I’m looking for…”
December 19th, 2008 at 3:22 pm
50 minutes? wow… I would cry tears of joy!
December 19th, 2008 at 4:39 pm
I love vegas!!
oh…my response would be
” because my tolerence for someone else’s special brand of bullshit is extremely low…..”
December 19th, 2008 at 5:43 pm
[...] Why Аrе You Still Single? | Twanna А. Hi&… [...]
December 19th, 2008 at 6:53 pm
I prefer the “straight talk” approach.
Q. Why are you still single?
A. Because I’m a f*ing loser.
Uncomfortable silence and/or nervous giggle ensues.
You get what you ask for!
December 19th, 2008 at 9:03 pm
is this a trick question…….
lamesabassman…… and… a test later……
December 20th, 2008 at 1:23 am
16. Marriage would violate the terms of my parole.
17. I already have a dog.
18. What and keep aalllll this to just one person?
19. I’ve been lucky so far.
20. I don’t know, why are you so fucking nosey? (Used it once, that person doesn’t speak to me any more. Thank God.)
December 20th, 2008 at 2:39 am
I love hot stone massages….enjoy. These are pretty good reasons. My favorite is n. 17 by dan-E…that’s great.
alicia
http://todaystyle.today.com/
December 20th, 2008 at 7:34 am
ahhh… dan-E….. # 16 is killer….. alicia…. can very well agree with # 17 for am ashamed to have known a few guys who fit that suit too well….
and # 20….. what a hellacool poison pill to drop…. but to use a line like that in
my old neighborhood….. well…. ya better go left and deep…. quick….
lamesabassman….#20: ” do you know just how hard it is to break in a new recruit….”
December 20th, 2008 at 7:37 am
p.s. …. that’s should be # 21….. am suffering from Jet Lag … again…
lamesabassman…… gotta work closer to home…..
December 21st, 2008 at 1:06 am
regarding #17, i should probably point that i’m a guy and i’ve used that line from time to time. people who know me laugh. others who don’t either laugh or want to slap me. not much middle ground.
December 21st, 2008 at 1:52 am
it’s all in the delivery ……. if the ones that hear it … know you…. then it’s Jake….
but … if there are ringers in the group…. best take dem 3 steps….. and floor it…
lamesabassman…… comedy is a stream of chances , dont be afraid to get wet…
December 21st, 2008 at 7:58 am
@ lamesabassman: Looking forward to it.
@ Taiwan Brown: This will be my first “Swedish massage.” Can’t wait. :)
@ dkzone: So is mine.
@ SklavinChantal: Thanks for the link love.
@ Mr. Poopy Pants a.k.a. Moebius: Are you a f*ing loser? :(
@ dan-E: 18 and 20 are my favorites.
@ alicia: Funny, right? :)
December 21st, 2008 at 10:58 am
Choice? :)
December 22nd, 2008 at 3:07 pm
Act Like A Lady Think Like A Man, is a must read e-book for all women. If you’re trying to get over the hurt of a broken heart, trying to get out of a bad relationship or hoping not to get into one, this is the book for you. If you are lonely and haven’t been able to find Mr. Right, wouldn’t know him if you met him or if you’ve found him and are worried about keeping him, folks this is the book! If you are unhappy, suffer from low self esteem, are over weight and don’t feel good about yourself or just feel like your life is going no where, this book can help put your life on the right track. It’s a life changer for both single and married women. Do yourself a favor and preview the e-book at; actlikealadythinklikeaman.com
December 23rd, 2008 at 7:08 am
Bobby: GREAT answer. :)
Angel: Hmmmm, you’re plugging that book pretty hard. Did you write it?
December 23rd, 2008 at 6:10 pm
Twanna, I got the same exact post that you got from Angel, but under a different name. When I checked the name, it was no longer there.
To me this = spam, so I rejected it.
December 23rd, 2008 at 11:32 pm
I love this post, T. I’m sending this to all my friends. What a great Christmas present! Happiest of holidays to you! :-)
December 30th, 2008 at 6:35 am
Bobby: Thanks for the heads up
Rochelle: Happy Holidays to you, too!!! :)
December 31st, 2008 at 2:55 pm
Hello?
December 31st, 2008 at 3:17 pm
knock…. knock….
lamesabassman…… ” open up the door and let them in….”
February 12th, 2009 at 1:42 pm
Hmm…maybe am single coz of the very first reason mentioned here…its so much better to be without any commitments.
Discrete dating site for those married , or in a relationship,
and looking for someone married or in a relationship.
http://www.marriedandlooking.co.uk