Happily Childfree By Choice

 Happiness  63 Responses »
Feb 262009
 

Ever wondered what the hell childfree means? I’m a card-carrying member — albeit it somewhat inactive due to my schedule — of the NYC chapter of No Kidding! I received an email from someone letting me know that someone else is doing something about the childfree movement. (Not sure if their thing is public yet; apologies for the sparse details.) I’ll write about it after they do “it.” In any case, in the meantime, the recent email and yesterday’s post made me think of the commercial below. Oldie but goodie. Watch it.

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Related links:

Which Contraceptive is Best?

 Relationships  30 Responses »
Feb 252009
 

A year ago I told my gynecologist I was allergic to condoms. Her response? “No you’re not.” I didn’t believe her because she’s a Manhattanite who rushes everything — including our visits. But, she did a bunch of tests and I did a bit of research. And, it turns out she’s right. Here’s what’s going on … I almost always use little rubbers to have vaginal sex because I’m not on the pill and I don’t want to get pregnant. But, I apparently I have sensitive skin, um, everywhere. Yes, everywhere. So, if I haven’t had sex in a while, I’ll almost always get irritation and/or a light yeast infection when I “get back on the saddle” for the first time in a long time. It’s not something the guy would ever notice, but I notice because I know my body. After the conversation with my doctor, I experimented with a bunch of different options (natural latex, polyurethane condoms, lambskin, non-spermicidal, etc.). Some actually work pretty well and/or only result in a tad bit of irritation. Less irritation = better sex.

“People would rather suffer in silence,” Dr Christian Jessen tells us via TV, “than get these things treated and that’s ridiculous in this day and age.” I didn’t have anything to “treat” but, before I actually spoke to my doctor about it, I had mildly annoying irritation in my hooha that I kept private. Having a conversation with her (my doctor, not my vagina), helped that out a bunch. So, it turns out there isn’t a one “greatest” contraceptive out there, it’s more about finding out what works best for your body. If you’re sticking with condoms (pun intended), here’s a cute video to show you how to put them on correctly. Any other condom lovers out there? Which birth control methods, if any, do you prefer?


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Related: Sex without a condom

Manly Monday: Commie, Homo-Loving Sons of Guns

 Culture  9 Responses »
Feb 232009
 

OMG! How much do I love Sean Penn?!?! I got so excited as I typed today’s Manly Monday entry — weekly celebrations of M-E-N — because I was 100% all about awarding it to Spicoli. (The Fast Times at Ridgemont High reference isn’t a backhanded compliment, by the way; I geniunely think it’s a testament to Penn’s talent as an actor that he’s grown to do flicks like At Close Range, Mystic River, I Am Sam and Milk.) Nevertheless, instead of only giving Sean Penn (ahem, ahem) the Manly Monday love, I decided to pick out a few male attendees, presenters, nominees and absentees of the 81st Annual Academy Awards who are equally deserving.

  • The Rebels. Johnny Depp. Mickey Rourke. And, of course, Sean Penn. Over the past few years, it’s been fun to see The Academy finally dole out nominations and awards to independently-minded men who take daring, unconventional roles and turn them into something special as only they can. How can you not love a guy who starts his acceptance speech: “You commie, homo-loving sons of guns [...]“???
  • The Winner. Will Smith. No, he didn’t win anything last night. But, according to Forbes, Smith commands higher box office and bigger “blockbuster paychecks” than any other actor in tinsel town. Folks, we have a winner!
  • The lover. I got really choked up when I heard Dustin Lance Black‘s tender, honest and heart-felt speech. As sex & relationships writer who happens to be a spiritual person, I kind of think got what he was trying to do. (But, I could be wrong.) I get the impression he was really trying to drive home the point that the word “CHRISTIAN” and the phrase “HOMOPHOBIC, SEX-NEGATIVE, RACIST, RIGHT-WING NUTJOB”  aren’t always symonymous. I don’t know; form your own opinion about his speech. You can read the transcript on GlAAD’s blog, but it’s worth it to watch the video instead.
  • The Guy Who Should’ve Been There. Benicio del Toro. Am I missing something or was someone missing from last night’s show?

Okay. So, I’m curious to hear what you all thought of last night’s show. Did you love or hate the Broadway musical inspired influence? Was it too long? Too boring? What would it take to make the Oscars more interesting? Pssst … If you liked Sean Penn’s portayal of Milk, you can watch a feature-length documentary about the real Harvey Milk free at Hulu.

Wanna See My First Hotel Sex Tape?

 Living, New York Stories  14 Responses »
Feb 222009
 

Remember when you were a little kid and you paired up with your friends to do school projects and stuff? Well, one of the fun things about being an adult is “school projects” are now “work projects.” And, when you actually like your job, the projects are fun. My friend Rachel Kramer Bussel just published a book called Do Not Disturb: Hotel Sex Stories. Films have “film trailers” to tease your eyeballs and convince you to see the project. Books have “book trailers” to accomplish the same goal. So, for Do Not Disturb, Rach gathered a bunch of us together to help out. “There will be no nudity,” she wrote in an email, “but I want to show people having fun in a hotel room [...] basically lounge around sexily, look hot, have fun, maybe make out or simulate making out, stuff like that.” Plus, she even threw in pizza and booze!!!! Voila!

If you’re reading this via RSS (on Google Reader, Facebook, etc.) and the clip doesn’t load above, see it on Funky Brown Chick, Lusty Lady, YouTube, the Do Not Disturb blog and elsewhere. Tons of awesome people were involved in the photographing (go Stacie!!!), filming and making of the trailer. See Rach’s post for the full credits.

Best-Selling Relationships Books

 Culture  1 Response »
Feb 212009
 

Welcome to Saturday morning. As a quick reminder, I’ve been linked with Amazon.com for a couple years now. If you’re going to buy something on their site anyway, please use this link. For every dollar you spend, Amazon will role a couple referral pennies my way. It’s a super easy way to help me offset the cost of running Funky Brown Chick, and Amazon doesn’t even charge you anything extra for helping me out. Need book recommendations? Try one of these bestselling relationships books.

Sex in America, SXSW and BlogHer Seasonal Affective Disorder

 Travel  10 Responses »
Feb 202009
 

House is a mess. I haven’t visited the gym (or gone for a hard run) in almost a month. I’m not getting enough sleep. My mailbox is probably stuffed and overflowing with white envelopes, flyers, magazine subscriptions and books from publishers because I haven’t emptied my PO Box in three weeks. Yada yada yada … It’s been a long week, and I’m soooo fucking glad it’s Friday. I need a break. :(

My social life is manic. Either I’m sitting at home, wrapped in a blanket, curled up on my couch complaining that I don’t want to go outside because it’s cold / snowing / raining / I’m on my period / whatever OR there’s a million things going on at the same time. This week, I went out a bunch more than usual; so, I need a low key weekend. You know, a little R&R. Speaking of which … It’s almost 2am on Friday morning, and I’m finally getting to bed. But, before I sign off, a couple quick announcements:

BlogHer
I just got the word it’s okay to blab the news: I’m speaking at the 5th Annual BlogHer Conference in Chicago this summer. Sooooo happy about this for two reasons: (1) I’ll see my friends and family back home and (2) I’m excited to finally get more actively involved with BlogHer because I’ve been  silently plugged in for a couple years.

SXSW
Tiffany B. Brown called it “Tech Freaknik” (a phrase originated by misterjt), and Larry Smith once said it’s the “Burning Man of Tech Conferences.” Whatever you’d like to call SXSW, if you’re going to be in Austin, I’d really like it if you’d come to my panel.

Sex in America
Friday night, I’m going to “Sex in America: Can the Conversation Change?” — an event co-sponsored by Open Center and Huffington Post. (This is the FINAL “planned” activity for my week. After this: relaxation.) Anyway. Panelists — Cory Silverberg, Amy Sohn, Leonore Tiefer, Ian Kerner and Esther Parel — are going to discuss: “How do the politics of sex enter the American bedroom?” If you live in New York, come to the event. Details are online. A bunch of you told me you liked the Man Pageant liveblog, so I might do the same for tonight’s shindig in case non NYC-dwelling Funky Brown Chick readers want to hear what the panel says about sex + politics.

Okay. C’est tout. Good night.

Must. Sleep.

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PS: I retitled this post from “Sex in America, SXSW and BlogHer” to “Seasonal Affective Disorder” after a reader told me I sounded depressed. Fret not little ones; I just need a little sun. Anyone who knows we well knows that winter and I are arch enemies.

Sipping Glenlivet. Scotch, but not on the rocks.

 New York Stories, Open Letters  10 Responses »
Feb 182009
 

Dear Sexy Readers:

Love and apologies. I’d have a post today had I not enjoyed 15-, 18- and 16-year single malt scotch tastings at Brass Monkey with the Brits and His Royal Highness Glenlivet U.S. Ambassador Ricky Crawford. Afterwards, my friends and I went for munchies and (more) drinks until 2am.

Drinks! Drinks! Drinks!

In my own defense, it wasn’t all about the boozery. ;) I actually learned quite a bit about Scotch — a drink I previously felt too insecure to order in the same way people who don’t know a lot about wines stare blankly at wine menus. If I remember correctly, I learned, among other things: Scotch should NOT be served with tons of ice cubes, the word “glen” is Scottish for valley (Glenlivet comes from the valley near the River Livet; hence, Glenlivet) and all scotch is whiskey but not all whiskey is scotch. Oh, and, Scottish boys look great in kilts.

Yours,

Twanna

Growing. Changing. Dating.

 Living  11 Responses »
Feb 172009
 

“Dating sucks,” Time Out New York tells us. <deadpan>I hadn’t noticed.</deadpan> So, I went to Time Out New York‘s singles party at (Le) Poisson Rouge last night, right? I didn’t meet any guys, and I wasn’t looking to hook up. TONY was my first subscription when I moved to the city (gasp, gasp) four years ago. I like the mag. I’ve met a couple of their editors in previous encounters, and a dude I used to work with at Newsweek now works there. So, when my friend “A.M.” said she was going to the party and invited me to tag along, I said sure. To get on the guest list, I had to: text the word “SINGLE” to a random number I can only assume belongs to Satan; receive an auto-response telling me to get buzzd; sign up on said site; receive a response email telling me to calmly wait in purgatory until a decision had been made about my guest list-worthiness; and, finally, I received a text that said something like “oh hai, Twanna A Hines. u’re confirmed. tonight 7pm. show this text to teh bouncer. okaythanksbai.” Ah, New York City.

Despite the brouhaha it took to sign up, the TONY party was a really laid back event. Good vibe. Great people. I didn’t ogle the male eye candy because I spent most of the night bumping into random people I already knew and catching up with a girl who recently joined one of my writing groups. Still, I have to admit, I was curious about Time Out New York’s selected 100 hottest singles. A bunch showed up for the singles party, and I wanted to know who these people were. So, at the end of the night, I got home and I checked some of their profiles [waves at Chloé, Dacia & a couple other familiar faces]. TONY included brown chickadees like this one, this one, this one and others. I love that. New York is diverse; it makes me happy when the city’s magazines actually make attempts to capture that. In any case, I perused profiles and found three who seem interesting …

  • Denson is half black, half Italian and 100% a Manchester United supporter. I like guys who like soccer. Plus, his quote was great: “Life is for living; really, why else are we here?”
  • Massimo‘s online profile starts, “I come from Rome [...]” Honestly, I didn’t read further because that was enough to pique my interest. I’ve been to Italy, studied the language and I’m in love with the culture.
  • Mark seems great because he comes across as Mr. Zen — searching for self-growth, inner happiness and escape from anxiety. “Love is what we’re born with,” he says, “fear is what we learned here.” That’s beautiful.

A year or two ago, I probably would’ve emailed each of the guys to e-flirt and, if I encountered any luck, publicly chronicle our date(s). Now, not only am I not typing the blow-by-blow, I’m not even emailing any of the guys. Two things: (1) I’ve actively decided to date less and (2) I’m kind of over putting the guys I do go on dates with “out there” like that. More on #1 in a different post. Let’s stick with #2.

I don’t I mind giving out TMI. I’m still very much an “oversharer” when it comes to my personal life, but I’m re-evaluating how much I talk about my dudes’ lives. Plus, if I’m honest, it’s hard to repeatedly publicly stomach heartbreak. With each first (second, third, …) date, I get really excited to learn more about the guy, find out if he really likes me and discover what makes him tick. So, when/if things don’t work out, it’s frustrating to publicly re-live the disappointment. Anyhoo. Hmm, I guess I don’t really have a point to today’s post. Just random reflections on my ever-evolving relationship with my dates, this site and guys I meet in New York. More coherency tomorrow.

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