“Dating sucks,” Time Out New York tells us. <deadpan>I hadn’t noticed.</deadpan> So, I went to Time Out New York‘s singles party at (Le) Poisson Rouge last night, right? I didn’t meet any guys, and I wasn’t looking to hook up. TONY was my first subscription when I moved to the city (gasp, gasp) four years ago. I like the mag. I’ve met a couple of their editors in previous encounters, and a dude I used to work with at Newsweek now works there. So, when my friend “A.M.” said she was going to the party and invited me to tag along, I said sure. To get on the guest list, I had to: text the word “SINGLE” to a random number I can only assume belongs to Satan; receive an auto-response telling me to get buzzd; sign up on said site; receive a response email telling me to calmly wait in purgatory until a decision had been made about my guest list-worthiness; and, finally, I received a text that said something like “oh hai, Twanna A Hines. u’re confirmed. tonight 7pm. show this text to teh bouncer. okaythanksbai.” Ah, New York City.
Despite the brouhaha it took to sign up, the TONY party was a really laid back event. Good vibe. Great people. I didn’t ogle the male eye candy because I spent most of the night bumping into random people I already knew and catching up with a girl who recently joined one of my writing groups. Still, I have to admit, I was curious about Time Out New York’s selected 100 hottest singles. A bunch showed up for the singles party, and I wanted to know who these people were. So, at the end of the night, I got home and I checked some of their profiles [waves at ChloÃ©, Dacia & a couple other familiar faces]. TONY included brown chickadees like this one, this one, this one and others. I love that. New York is diverse; it makes me happy when the city’s magazines actually make attempts to capture that. In any case, I perused profiles and found three who seem interesting …
- Denson is half black, half Italian and 100% a Manchester United supporter. I like guys who like soccer. Plus, his quote was great: “Life is for living; really, why else are we here?”
- Massimo‘s online profile starts, “I come from Rome [...]” Honestly, I didn’t read further because that was enough to pique my interest. I’ve been to Italy, studied the language and I’m in love with the culture.
- Mark seems great because he comes across as Mr. Zen — searching for self-growth, inner happiness and escape from anxiety. “Love is what weâ€™re born with,” he says, “fear is what we learned here.” That’s beautiful.
A year or two ago, I probably would’ve emailed each of the guys to e-flirt and, if I encountered any luck, publicly chronicle our date(s). Now, not only am I not typing the blow-by-blow, I’m not even emailing any of the guys. Two things: (1) I’ve actively decided to date less and (2) I’m kind of over putting the guys I do go on dates with “out there” like that. More on #1 in a different post. Let’s stick with #2.
I don’t I mind giving out TMI. I’m still very much an “oversharer” when it comes to my personal life, but I’m re-evaluating how much I talk about my dudes’ lives. Plus, if I’m honest, it’s hard to repeatedly publicly stomach heartbreak. With each first (second, third, …) date, I get really excited to learn more about the guy, find out if he really likes me and discover what makes him tick. So, when/if things don’t work out, it’s frustrating to publicly re-live the disappointment. Anyhoo. Hmm, I guess I don’t really have a point to today’s post. Just random reflections on my ever-evolving relationship with my dates, this site and guys I meet in New York. More coherency tomorrow.