I’m back in New York. A couple of my Twitter followers and FBC readers contacted me to ask if I hooked up with anyone while I was in Texas. Nope. I haven’t had sex (with another person) since last summer. Yep. It’s been something like 6 -8 months. How do I survive? Quite frankly: vibrators. I’m not on a wacky, self-imposed sex diet or anything like that. Trust me; nobody wants me to get laid more than I do. I’m just kind of, I don’t know, “over” the casual dating / sex scene. Meet a guy. Date a guy. Go on another date or two. Sleep with the guy. Go on more dates. I stop calling him. Or, maybe, he stops calling me. Or, possibly, we mutually agree that we just don’t want to date each other anymore. It gets old.
I want something more inspired. Something with a bit more spark. Maybe I’ve been spoiled? I’ve had fairly good relationships — with a few crazies sprinkled in between, of course — in my past. I don’t want to date someone just for dating sake and you all know how I feel about marriage. I certainly don’t want this shit or this ideological crap. So, here’s what I want: I actually want to feel excited about a man again. I want a guy to call me and I want to get so happy … no check that … ECSTATIC when I look at my phone and see his name or number. I want go on a date by a dude who impresses me so much that I actually spend HOURS thinking of the “perfect” outfit to wear the next time I see him. I wanted to feel goofy, not-quite-sure, happy, cherished and desired. Newbie stuff aside, I want the longterm satisfaction ( … yes, even after the “fun” stuff fades … ) and I want to be monogamously committed to another person again and vice versa. Sure, I don’t NEED those things. I need food, water, love and shelter. I have that and I’m aware that many in the world don’t; so, I’m blessed / privileged. Still, it’d be nice to go on a date with a guy I really care about and it’d be wonderful to get laid properly. Maybe that makes me seem frivolous, shallow or whatever. But, it’s what I want … dare I say need?
At SXSW, I privately asked random people, “When’s the last time you got laid?” The answers ranged from 4 years ago to 4 hours ago. Can I “survive” 6 to 8 months as a single person without good sex? Sure I can. Can a married woman “survive” 15 years in a dead relationship filled with horrible sex? Sure she can. It’s not about that. A better question is: “What is surviving?” Is survival “living” without having your basic needs met? Or, take this more direct question: Is “having good sex” a basic human need? Some might say yes. Some might say no. Please use the comment section below to tell me what say you.