What About Transgendered Little Boys and Girls?
“Someone suggested [I] write to you,” a reader shot me a email, “and ask you if you could [write] about Transsexual women in New York.” Oooh, sex & gender benders!! I love it. What better Manly Monday topic could there be than men who used to be women and women who used to be men? A while ago, MSNBC did a documentary called Born in the Wrong Body. It was actually pretty good. Watch clips from the show here. Also, one of the individuals featured, Cris Beam, wrote a book called Transparent: Love, Family, and Living the T with Transgender Teenagers; you can read an excerpt at MSNBC or buy the book online.
I live in New York. Bumping into transgendered people is as common as meeting lefthanders. Although I know several transpeople — acquaintances, former coworkers, friends of friends, etc. — I only have one real “friend.” When I met him 11 years ago, he was a gay black man. More recently, he began the process of becoming a woman. (Sidenote: He says society is more accepting of MtF transsexuals than it is of effeminate gay black men.) To be honest, it’s taking me a bit longer than I though it would to wrap my head around the change. It’s the little things. For example, we went out with a group of people a while ago. The next day, a German friend “F” asked something about “your friend, the girl we went out with the other night. What’s her name?” I rambled off a list of all the women in the group — forgetting one. Quite honestly, until that moment, I don’t think I realized I wasn’t treating her like a “woman”; instead my mind classified “my (former) guy friend” as a “transsexual.” Interestingly, though understandably, the community also self refers as transsexuals, transgendered and trannies … not solely “women” and “men.”
But, back to the MSNBC documentary. I think they did a nice job at balancing young and old, MtF and FtM examples. It was interesting to notice many of the people featured talked about common themes: noticing something was “different” from a very young age; feeling born to the wrong body; experiencing rejection from loved one(s); and thinking the choice was either suicide or a sex change. I’ve heard similar things from the mouths of acquaintances as well as other pop culture documentaries like BBC’s My Secret Female Body. Here’s a question that came to mind after watching the MSNBC segment about the 16-year-old boy Jake (nee Julia): Should teens be allowed to have sex reassignment surgery if desired? Leave your thoughts in the comments section. Head’s up! I’m not interested in shitty “that’s gross” comments about our lovely transgendered folks. (Why? Because take it elsewhere. Assholes are 100% free to be assholes–just not in my [online] home.) I’m also not particularly interested interested in passive aggressive personal attacks about me using the word — or, I might add, transsexuals self-referring to be — “trannies.” (Why? Because fuck haters. As Mollena brilliantly notes: “[S]ome people look for slings and arrows even from allies and empathizers.”) That stuff aside, I’m geniunely curious to hear your thoughts: Should teens be allowed to have sex reassignment surgery if desired?
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Image by Dominik Gwarek
March 30th, 2009 at 9:14 am
It's a difficult area, we like to think that teenagers can't have a properly formed idea about body image, yet gender dysphoria knows not these arbitrary bounds we put on it. Counter to this is also the idea that these kinds of changes, at least for males, are fairly irreversible after gender reassignment surgery. In any case I don't think the decision should be made rashly and just because they are teens doesn't mean they shouldn't go through the same lengthy process that adults must adhere too.
March 30th, 2009 at 10:06 am
Are there any medical reasons for not performing the surgery on teenagers? I don't know if that's the case, but assuming it is not, I expect that there are certainly teenagers who are capable of making mature decisions. There are also teenagers who might be simply experiencing ordinary teenage feelings of not liking their bodies (I wanted to have my breasts removed when I was a teenager) and so careful counseling is probably in order. Probably that's true at any age.
I must admit I am puzzled with the recent ftm pregnancies (one in the US earlier, now twins in Europe) as I can't imagine wanting to go through something so basically female as giving birth if you feel that you're not a woman. (But maybe that's because I simply can't imagine anyone wanting to give birth.) Is it reasonable to expect that people will pick one sex and stick with it, or is that view overly restrictive and prejudiced?
March 30th, 2009 at 10:36 am
My only advice for transgender folks: If you want to be accepted more, move to French Polynesia*. Apparently in their culture, cross dressing and transsexualism are very well accepted. I saw a bunch of such folks when I was briefly there several years ago, and nobody bats an eye about it.
*Come to think of it, I'd advise ANYBODY to move there. What a spectacular place!
March 30th, 2009 at 10:44 am
wow.
I guess there are a few different ways you can look at it.
1. What teenager ” really” knows what it wants. One of the most dangerous things is watching a teenager make a “permanent” decision. I think this comes from our own personal foresight, back to when we were teens and how passionate were were about simple things like clothes or tv shows….. how can you let someone who is from a group or segment of society make such a life altering decision.
2. Life can be cruel…..This is an understatement in our society for people who are just slightly different from us, by either color or social background. How unbearable must it be for someone who ” needs ” to be something other than how they were born physically? It's bad enough that kids will make fun of you for having zits, let alone being a guy who wants to have a set of tits……( hehe I made a rhyme)
There was a guy back in college, he was a little diferent, but still nice enough. Come to find out 6 years after the fact that he had a sex change operation. I can kind of see how this would be apropriate for him. He was a guy but never really totally felt comfortable being a guy. Spent most of his time hanging out with women and ironically I could say he was the girliest amongst the women that he did hang out with. Let me be clear, i don't think he was gay per se, but more or less alone as a man who wanted to be a woman. And in that I could see a certain amount of lonliness in him. I wish ” Carla ” well wherever she may be, and commend her on the strength to see her desires through to the end.
With that said, I don't think he would have had the same college experience if he had voiced his desires to be a woman. I think things would have gotten ugly very quickly for him.
So as a teen, i'm not sure what Carla's college experience would have been if she had gone through the operation as a teen. But i would think if she were placed somewhere where no one knew of the male past. She would have been extremely happy.
I think the biggest problem I have here is that its easy to look at an adult whose had the operation and is happy to say ” see they should have had it all along!!”
But to look at a child and make that decision……well that just seems a bit premature to me.
March 30th, 2009 at 11:14 am
If a child has been identifying with the opposite gender since say, age three, at age 11 or 12 that child should be allowed to hormonally inhibit the onset of puberty for the gender s/he was born into and supplement with opposite gender hormone therapy. Since surgery is irreversible the age of consent should remain 18, but hormonal intervention before puberty will improve the results of such surgery when that step is taken.
March 30th, 2009 at 12:06 pm
This is a tricky one. I agree especially with what “A” said upstream. I think much of it depends on the teenager. I don't like any one-size-fits-all boxes for people based on surface differences like race and gender and age. Individuals make up those groups, not ideologies. There will definitely be teenagers who know what they want and how they feel much more clearly than many adults. It's not fair to assume they don't or to think them “children” simply because of their youth. For some, this may not just be “a phase”, and the ones for whom such a change should be permanent will be very rare.
That said, as was pointed out, there are several teenagers who have body and identity issues for reasons beyond the scope of this topic. I certainly had plenty of body and identity issues surrounding sexuality and ethnicity as a young teenager (13-17). If I had the opportunity to have cosmetic surgery to “fix” features that really don't need any change, I'd be a sad person right now. I like the way I look now so I'm happy my parents didn't have that kind of money to spend on my whims.
March 30th, 2009 at 6:33 pm
Two things struck me while reading this:
1. “Trannies” is not the most PC term. Trans, trans individuals, transgendered, transsexual, TG, MTF, FTM are all much less offensive terms.
2. You said your friend began the process of transitioning, but referred to her as “he” or “him” a few times before telling the story about her being out in the group with you guys. Have the pronouns that she prefers to be called changed now that she is transitioning? If she is living as a woman, shouldn't she be referred to as a woman, especially by her friend who seems to respect her decision to transition?
Hope the comment didn't come off rude. It wasn't mean to. I'm really glad you tackled this issue, as it's one that needs to be talked about.
March 30th, 2009 at 7:04 pm
Good points!! Not 100% sure, but I think the process for teens is fairly lengthy, too.
March 30th, 2009 at 7:13 pm
For what I've read ( .. which, admittedly, isn't a ton … ) there are benefits to performing the procedure before puberty.
Totally agree about counseling. Hell, I recommend it to everyone!! :) Remaining the same gender and/or sex doesn't necessarily guarantee one won't have issues about sex, sexuality, body image or anything else …
March 30th, 2009 at 7:17 pm
I want to go to Bora Bora!!!!
http://www.starwoodhotels.com/stregis/property/...
March 30th, 2009 at 7:18 pm
Great comment; lots of food for thought!! :)
March 30th, 2009 at 7:29 pm
Yeah, the “age of consent” thing is what's got me stuck. It's kind of like the cochlear implant debate (in some ways) … You have to perform the procedure at an early age for optimum effect. At the same time, performing it at young age raises concerns about consent …
March 30th, 2009 at 7:31 pm
“I like the way I look now so I'm happy my parents didn't have that kind of money to spend on my whims.”
Cute. :) And, yeah, I can totally relate to that.
March 30th, 2009 at 7:34 pm
Thanks for commenting! Would love to hear your thoughts on the question :)
March 31st, 2009 at 12:15 am
The recommended “best practice” is to have gonadotrophins – “puberty delayers at age 12-13. Then move on to hormones at 15-16, with surgery at 17-18.
Fertility counselling is recommended, as it may be worthwhile to allow just enough pubertal development so gametes can be extracted and stored.
Most don't take this option, but it should be available. To a girl of 15, motherhood (or as close as she can get to it) may not be on her priority list. But at age 25, she may feel quite differently.
The situation's more fraught for the boys, as storing eggs (as opposed to embryos) is problematic.
March 31st, 2009 at 12:19 am
I can understand a man wanting to be a Dad. For Transmen, the closest they can come is to be a biological mother.
Just as the closest I could come to bearing children was to be a biological father. I'm Intersexed rather than TS, but I used to look male… long story. TS is close enough.
March 31st, 2009 at 6:54 am
Oooh, a short while ago, Current TV did an intersex mini-documentary. You can watch the whole thing and read my post about it here:
http://funkybrownchick.com/2008/10/21/would-you...
March 31st, 2009 at 7:49 am
Makes sense. I hope that becomes standard procedure for transgendered children.
March 31st, 2009 at 8:32 pm
I think this is a very valid point. Teenagers are perfectly capable of deciding whether or not they feel comfortable in their bodies. In many cases, transexuality is evident from a very early age. After living through childhood feeling that you are in the wrong body, you won't suddenly change your mind when you become a teenaqer. Just as chances are you won't wake up one day after leading a gender normative existence and decide things are going to be different today.
If teenagers were offered the option of Sex Reassignment Surgery, I absolutely agree they should have to follow the same stringent guidelines as their adult counterparts.
March 31st, 2009 at 8:38 pm
Yes, I commented about it at the time. My son is Intersexed too. Just not nearly as badly as his peculiar father.
His condition was obvious at birth. Mine wasn't.
April 2nd, 2009 at 1:41 am
I have wondered what is the best way to deal with historical references. For instance, if someone has had a recent mtf transition, of course I would refer to her now using female pronouns. But what's the most appropriate pronoun to use if I'm talking about something she did several years ago? I can imagine she might not like to be reminded of that, but on the other hand, it feels like editing history if I use the feminine pronouns when I used masculine ones during the time in question.
Gah, I wish our language would just get over the idea of making sex distinctions with every reference to a person–just use 'it' or make another word like 'it' which can be used for living creatures. She/he and her/him and hers/his are just archaic holdovers, as are gender-specific names and Mr & Ms (although Ms is far better than Miss and Mrs). I mean, could you imagine if there were different pronouns depending on the person's skin colour or sexual orientation? Are any of these things really the first thing you need to know about someone?
April 2nd, 2009 at 1:28 pm
Good questions!! I didn't go into that earlier when responding to Britni's comment above but, yeah, I get what you mean. It would've seemed strange (and, technically, incorrect) to say: “When I met *HER* 11 years ago, *SHE* was a gay black man.” I used the pronoun “he” when referring to the past; needless to say, when I'm around her now, I use “her.” Or, as you so eloquently put it: “it feels like editing history if I use the feminine pronouns when I used masculine ones during the time in question.”
And, yeah, language is complex and deserves full consideration. After I published this post, I noticed Racialicious ran two relevant pieces: “The Divine Nine And Transpeeps – A Long Road Of Understanding Still To Travel” and “Open Thread: On Language and Terms.” Both are worth the read. Not unrelated, I also recommend Pam Spaulding's beautiful quote about respecting diversity of opinion.
By the way, GREAT observation about sex distinctions in language!! I usually avoid the phrase “his or her” or “himself and herself” altogether by simply saying “their” and “themselves.” Haven't found an easy way to get rid of “he” and “she” yet.
April 3rd, 2009 at 5:00 pm
Twanna,
thanks for the link love on some of my posts…deeply appreciatte it.
It's great that you and other cisgender Black women bloggers are starting to talk about these issues as well. Transpeople and their transitions not only affect themselves personally, but the ripple effects also impact family, friends and how we interact with society as well.
Unfortunately Black America has not been as well versed on these issues as it should be, and needs to do a better job addressing the human rights aspects of transpeople in our midst.
April 3rd, 2009 at 9:32 pm
Hey there! No prob; thank YOU for having such a great site!! :)
Yeah, ENDA and the debacle that ensued/ensues shows America in general kind of sort of isn't extremely well versed on these issues.
I definitely don't pretend I'm an expert on the topic, though I'm always open to learn more.
April 4th, 2009 at 10:07 am
I definitely don't pretend I'm an expert on the topic, though I'm always open to learn more.
And that's all we ask for Twanna. I'm willing along with other transpeople to openly talk about our lives and provide that 'ejumacation' if my cisgender brothers and sisters will open their hearts and minds and listen..
The point is we transpeople have always been a part of the AA community, and we didn't forfeit our Blackness when we transitioned.
All we want is to be able to contribute our talents to uplift the race and peacefully live our own lives free from harassment .
I don't think that's too much to ask.
April 5th, 2009 at 8:21 am
Nope; I don't think it's too much to ask at all. :)
April 5th, 2009 at 11:01 am
I think it's important to draw a distinction between sex reassignment surgery and the other medical procedures that are available to trans people, especially when talking about children and youths. While the surgery gets a lot of attention in the media, the actual effect that it has on someone's life is relatively small. Furthermore, the earliest I've ever heard of someone getting surgery is 16, and most doctors refuse to perform the procedure on anyone younger than 18. By the time someone has reached that age, the most drastic and life-altering changes that come with puberty will already be behind them.
Those changes can be averted, however, if a child has access to medications called puberty blockers that can stop the changes from happening in the first place. These blockers essentially take the pressure off a teenager, giving them time to come to an informed decision on whether or not to continue with hormone therapy without the threat of having their voice drop or growing breasts hanging over their head.
My organization, TransActive, has a website has a whole host of information on this topic – I recommend checking it out if you want to learn more, particularly when it comes to children between the ages of 4 and 18.
http://www.transactiveonline.org
We also have a video called Out of the Shadows posted on Youtube that does an excellent job of summarizing the issue in a few minutes.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w2EV3w2QxII
April 11th, 2009 at 7:51 pm
It might seem strange, but that's because you're not trans. I think of it as like, information you didn't know. When I met her 11 year ago, I *thought* she was a gay black man… but she wasn't, really.
If the person says otherwise, then ok. Some trans people experience their lives that way, and it's important to respect however they want to narrativise it. But if someone gendered me male when talking about the past, I'd be royally pissed. Because I never was *really* male.
Also, just fyi a note on language. Generally speaking, it's kinda insulting to use the person's assigned name – “Jake (nee Julia)”. In a perfect world, sure ok show the evolution. But we live in a world where trans people's genders are negated at the slightest whim, and constantly suggested to be pretense, performance. Showing the birth name means reminding people of who we “really” are (ie what gender we're assigned at birth). Seriously, I've had people who've start screaming at me cos I wouldn't tell them my “real” name.
Also, small language note: FtM and MtF are slightly outdated terms. Julia Serano suggests that both are objectifying, that all we really need for respectful terms is trans men and trans women. Where “trans” is an adjective, not a modifier on how we're not really our identified genders. It's where you arrive at, not the journey that matters.
Anyway. Glad you're reading and thinking.
April 11th, 2009 at 8:10 pm
Yes. If a child has clearly been trans for years (and many have, children are transitioning earlier and earlier now that people are beginning to realise you can't talk us out of it, you can only delay it), then sure why not at 16? Some children are living their whole lives as their chosen gender now. I mean, the guidelines are bloody hard, so that usual children going through phases is totally considered by the various shrinks and doctors.
The other thing is that if a trans woman goes through puberty “normally” without puberty blockers, then her voice breaks. Which makes it harder to be received as just another woman. Which puts her in danger (what with all the violence trans people get). Not to mention all the other stuff that occurs that then needs to be undone. And vice versa for trans men – eg breasts grow which then need to be removed by surgery.
I know it sounds counter-intuitive, but “normal” puberties are outright damaging for trans people.