If you read my “Do I Sound Black?” post, you probably guessed I’d be attracted to Afro-punk. “Afro-punk is a platform for the other Black experience,” says their site, “the one we don’t see in our media.” I’m interested in articles, events and points of view that don’t regurgitate tired “all black people should [act/talk/think/write/whatever] alike.” (See: Derrick’s comment about BET Awards.) I like my life most when I’m doing things I find interesting — regardless if it’s deemed appropriate for my age (dating younger men), ethnicity (listening to punk music) or whatever. So, if you live in New York or if you’re in the area for the weekend … AFRO-PUNK BLOCK PARTY. Sunday, July 12, 12-8PM. (Clinton Avenue between Myrtle and Willoughby) Here’s more info from BAM’s website: “The fifth annual Afro-Punk Festival culminates with the Afro-Punk Block Party, featuring live music, DJs, and DIY fashion, food, and craft vendors. Not the usual street fair, the block party features the best underground and local artists and artisans. Featured musicians include Jon Forte, Joya Bravo, Shinobi Ninja, Maiysha, Hard Hittin Harry, and Rich Medina. For additional information, go here.”
I’m not writing about the recent trio of celebrity deaths because you can (and probably already have) read that news elsewhere. For something new and a bit more lighthearted, I thought I’d give you delicious eye candy to start your week off right. Today’s Manly Monday pick — weekly shout outs celebrating men’s loveliness — is the U.S. national soccer team. Yesterday, Bro and I sat at the bar at Tonic and watched the US dominate Brazil (the only team to do so) in the current FIFA Confederations Cup. For approximately two hours, we sipped Hefe-Weizen, gnawed on hot & spicy buffalo wings and cheered our national team. Unfortunately, we lost. Brazil came back strong in the second half, winning the game 3 to 2. Whatever. I was still really really proud of team captain Carlos Bocanegra (pictured) and the rest of the American boys for putting heat on the Brazilians … and looking REALLY fucking good doing while so. Seriously! Have you SEEN the men’s team?!?! They’re gorgeous. GO USA!!! Kudos, also, to ESPN for showing the match … and to FIFA for giving the US props for our country’s ethnic diversity. In case you missed the game, here’s the lineup of the guys who played on Sunday. Who’s the hottest? My vote — it’s a tie between Carlos Bocanegra and Tim Howard. Who’s your pick?
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Photos credit: Images appear online at www.fifa.com
As you may have noticed from yesterday’s post, I’ve had “New York living” on the brain a bit. Lately, it’s been fairly good here. Truthfully: really good. I figured out a nice balance for my daily freelance & book-writing schedule. And, I recently scored an amazing apartment in a building and neighborhood that I absolutely adore. Oddly, when things are going well, I often think: “Yeah things are fine now, but this is only temporary. Any moment, my luck could change and I’d be really really struggling in New York like I was before.” I guess I try to stay somewhat balanced by remembering everything in life is cyclical. Things go up, they come down but they go back up again. Sometimes life is really good, sometimes I hit patches where everything’s really really shitty. In the end, the good stuff far outweighs that bad. I guess that’s what matters most, no?
Call it karma, Christian guilt, or whatever you want to but — since the city is being very kind to me — I feel like I should donate to a charity, volunteer, or do something else to give back. Many many months ago, I exchanged emails with a woman named Sara from The Fresh Air Fund. It’s a nonprofit that takes kids out of the city to get … wait for it, wait for it … fresh air. Having grown up in rural Illinois amidst the cornfields (no joke), I’m certainly a fan of getting out of Manhattan every so often. I miss stars. I miss huuuuuge, black, nighttime skies blanketed with an entire outdoor ceiling of millions of tiny little twinkling white dots. I miss nature. Fire flies on open fields. Sometimes, I swear I even randomly miss the smell of trees. It’s weird, but I do. Yeah, you know you’re a bumpkin when you know the texture and smell of tree bark. Hmm. Anyway. Keeping in step with my recent “Twanna Really Needs a Vacation / Needs to Get Out of New York” mood, I thought I’d re-visit an email exchange I had with the Fresh Air Fund People. Fret not, I haven’t changed. I still don’t like children. That said, I’m writing about them because I like writing all facets of interpersonal relationships (i.e. sex/dating, friendships, marriage, families, etc). And, I’m really into to health/nature as well personal growth stuff. So, in case you’d like to learn more about the Fresh Air Fund, here’s what I was able to gather via our (edited) email exchange:
ME: Who the hell are you guys? I feel bad, but I’ve never heard of The Fresh Air Fund. What’s this Friendly Town stuff?
SARA: Summertime is “Fresh Air” time for thousands of New York City children who visit volunteer host families in 13 northeastern states and Canada through the Friendly Town program. The Fresh Air Fund has provided free summer vacations in the country to more than 1.7 million children since 1877.
ME: Who are the kids?
SARA: Boys and girls, from six to 18 years old, who live in New York City. Children on first-time visits are six to 12 years old and stay for two weeks. Children who are reinvited by host families may continue with The Fund through age 18, and may enjoy extended trips. More than 65% of all children are reinvited to stay with the same host families, year after year.
ME: You said “host families.” What’s a typical host like?
SARA: Friendly Town host families are volunteers who open their hearts and homes to New York City children during the summer. Host families live in small towns, in the suburbs or on farms, and wish to share the simple joys of their communities. Hosts may arrange for Fresh Air visitors who are the same age and gender as their own children and who share the same interests and activities.
ME: Okay. I live in the middle of the city and I don’t like kids, so I’m probably not the best candidate for a Friendly Town host family. But, what if one of my readers wants to participate. What can they do and what will they get out of it?
SARA: Friendly Town host families often say they receive more from the program than they give. Host families open their homes to children who might not otherwise be able to enjoy a vacation away from New York City. Fresh Air children experience simple pleasures like running barefoot through the grass and gazing at star-filled skies. Through the eyes of Fresh Air children, families rediscover the beauty of their own communities.
Details: The Fresh Air Fund, 633 Third Avenue, 14th Floor, New York, NY 10017. www.freshair.org. For more information, call them at 1-800-367-0003.
I just took Time Out New York’s “Do you belong in New York City?” quiz. What’s the funny thing about those tests? They (and, at times, the city) leave me jaded. So, then, of course they’re always like: “YAY! YOU’RE JADED!!! YOU BELONG HERE!” Anyway, so, this particular survey is quite interesting. It asks questions like: “You’re in NYC because…” I answer: I didn’t fit in anywhere else, and New Yorkers are the kind of people I feel at home with. They ask: “When a coworker tells you she’s decided to leave New York, your first thought is …” I write: Quitter. They say: “Complete this statement: A successful person is one who …” I respond: … Can make it through the day without yelling cuntface. I’ve finished the test. Results are in, and Time Out New York says:
DO YOU BELONG IN NYC?
Yes, but sometimes you wish there were a better option.
You do love New York, and you fit in here better than you have anywhere else. You’re committed to the city, and you take advantage of all of its amazing food, culture, nightlife and arts. But you have nagging doubts about this relationship. Spend your whole life here? Not sure about that. Sometimes you wonder about that farm in your fantasies or even just a smaller city. But in reality, you know there’s nowhere better. Click here for suggestions about how to really enjoy NYC.
You guys send me emails all the time and, interestingly, I get the “I’m thinking about moving to New York. Any advice?” question quite often. I love New York. That said, I’m probably not the city’s biggest cheerleader because I constantly complain about the cost of living here, the lack of green space, etc. And, I certainly wouldn’t be surprised to find myself living elsewhere (say, I don’t know, Paris? Or, maybe in Amsterdam again?) in the distant future. NYC isn’t the greatest place on earth — it’s just one of them. Anyway. If you’d like to take the quiz yourself. Here’s the the link: Do you belong in New York City?
h/t Jose Vilson
I met Irene Kontje in June 2006. We were at a bar in the Village on Bleecker Street, The Red Lion, where England supporters had been gathered that day since damn near sunrise. If you’ve been to Red Lion before, you know it’s a restaurant as well as a live music venue. However, because they’re smart, they also switch the place over to a large screen TV-packed sports bar where New York-based British expats can gather to drink gallons of lager, stout and whiskey while they cheer on their national team. Such was the case the morning I met Irene. Slightly tanned to a darker shade of peach, she had shoulder-length, straight brown hair and brown eyes. Nondescript, she blended easily with the others in the bar. But, I noticed her because she was dressed fairly sporty and wore an orange zip-up jacket with Nederland printed across the front.
ME: [points at her clothes, raises voice to yell over loud bar] I like your jacket!
HER: Thanks!
ME: [extending the hand of friendship] Twanna Hines
HER: [shakes hand] Irene Kontje
ME: C-c-coin shuh? What’s your last name?
HER: Kontje. K-O-N-T-J-E.
ME: Um, did you know your name means little ass cheeks in Dutch?
HER: [laughs] Yeah, I used to work in The Netherlands. Everyone thought that was funny.
What followed next was the realization that the woman who’d lived in Oakland / SF, California for ten years (Irene) and the woman from Illinois (me) were in a New York bar and discovered we lived in Amsterdam during the exactly same time.
ME: We were in the same area, so we probably crossed each other on the streets. Isn’t that funny?
IRENE: Very true. Life is, indeed, funny.
After that, Irene and I met up for coffee a few times in the West Village. I liked her a lot. Over coffee, we gabbed about men, dating, our respective sex lives. We reminisced about how much we love Holland, and both said we desire to live in Europe again in the future. We met up a bunch like new friends do. I remembered we saw one of the BBC documentaries from the 7-Up series at the IFC Center, too. I even blogged about her once or twice. Time passed. Via sparsely traded emails, we said we should hang out more often and catch another soccer game together. But, we didn’t. You know how it goes. We were both busy New Yorkers who lived in different neighborhoods and went out at different times in different places. Seemed hard to believe it’d been four years since we met.
Cut to the present. Thanks to mass emails and Facebook — those fine, lippy purveyors of gossip — I discover Irene is going back to Europe. She’s there now. In Spain. Given that I’d like to do the same one day (chuck it all and go back abroad), I wanted to know what she was doing, how long she was staying there and if she ever planned to come back. Curious to know about her life and her travels, I headed over to her blog and found this old post. It’s about the time she, an American, traveled to Friesland (north of Holland) on behalf of a friend of Dave Steensma. As Irene explains, Dave was the first — and, at that time, the only — Dutch fatality in the Iraq war. The story describes how she delivered a tricolor flag to his parents, Oeds and Margreet Steensma:
Oeds excused himself and returned with a large photo album. “Go ahead, look at it. The Dutch army made it for us. It’s Dave’s funeral service.” Initially Dave served in the Royal Dutch Marine Corps, but his duties later took him to the 12th Infantry Battalion of the Airmobile Brigade, Regiment “van Heutsz.” The Dutch army made a photo album for a family? My brow furrowed. I don’t think American families get that – too many dead, I suppose, how would the military keep up?
It’s a touching, brilliantly-written post. Read it. Irene is definitely on my list of Interesting People I’ve Met in New York, and I’m sorry I didn’t get a chance to hang out with her more while she was still living in Manhattan. Luckily, she’s coming back. Since we both love soccer and Holland, I imagine I’ll email her about the upcoming World Cup games. I’ll suggest we catch a soccer game at one of these sports bars again. Maybe, Red Lion? Or, perhaps, Tonic — where the Dutch supporters hang out. It’s worth mentioning, on her blog, she quotes Benjamin Franklin: Either write things worth reading, or do things worth writing. Kudos to Irene Kontje for doing both. So, please, remember to read her post A Flag that Crossed Oceans.
A couple days ago, a friend commented: “Good Will Hunting is the original Bromance movie.” At first, I agreed. I mean, who could forget Ben Affleck and Matt Damon‘s ridiculously cute acceptance speech at the 70th Annual Academy Awards!??! But, hold on there kiddies. On-screen, intimate friendships between men (Bromances) existed before Ben & Matt were born. Remember Jerry Lewis and that Dean Martin guy? Or, what about Will Smith and Martin Lawrence? Chris Tucker and Jackie Chan? I don’t know who can claim the “First Bromance” title (Marx brothers? Laurel & Hardy?), but I’d love to know your opinion:Â Which Coupling is the CUTEST bromance? Feel free to use the comments section below to leave your suggestions. If you need inspiration, LA Times has a 11 Brands of Bromance slideshow. My vote: Gael GarcÃa Bernal and Diego Luna.
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Photo credit: LA Times – 11 Brands of Bromance
















