It seems to me if people in a relationship talk about what is freedom in a relationship, what it feels like or looks like to them, and how can they feel what they need, already you would have a feeling of freedom for saying how you feel…then it is trying to see how that can work.

Personally, I am polyamorous, so there is sexual and emotional freedom in my relationships, although even polyamorous people discuss and make guidelines around the level of freedom. So yes, in any relationship, there is negotiating…and sometimes everyone feels the same way, and makes life easy for everyone (what I prefer with a top value of freedom), and sometime you don’t and can make guidelines that may involve more compromise. xo

lamesabassman…… and we hang with you…. bella.

when one sees thru the Looking Glass of what Life’s has in store for you… do you dare…..

lamesabassman….. or dive….

Letinstar: :)

Jeffrey L. Wilson: Thought you’d like this quote: http://www.twannahines.com/items/view/6156/beautiful-quote-about-freedom

Lamesabassman: Everything is in the eye of the beholder, no?

lamesabassman…… the view can be limited to the eye of the beholder….

Freedom can most certainly be had in a relationship. Think about it, when you’re first dating someone you hid all of your bizarre quirks in hopes of not scaring off a potential. But when you find that right person, the farts, bad jokes, bad music, all get revealed.

fatlady wrote: “How come when someone is expected to live according to certain expectations or obligations in a romantic relationship, it is suddenly deemed a loss of freedom, when it’s not perceived that way in other relationships? If someone didn’t show up to work for a day or two and their office called to see where they were, would it be acceptable to say, ‘Hey, back off!  I need my freedom?’ So why, is it a problem if a spouse expects the same accountability?“

I say: Telling someone to back off may not potential wreck your immediate life. If you tell your boss to back off, you just may very well end up homeless. A committed relationship is optional, really; a job of any sort is not, unless one is fine being a bum.

I find it curiously funny that the one freedom that you’re not allowed to have (sexin’ other people) can over ride everything else and tank the relationship. I’m not just talking about cheating, but even the mention of wanting to do something.

Makes you wonder if the swingers/open-relationshipers have the most

Also, does anyone know what happened to that brave man in front of the tank during the Tianamen Square massacre?  I take it his where abouts are still “unknown.”

Message to the Chinese government : Shame Shame I know your name.

Pamela: You said, “Be you, not the person someone else expects you to be.” I’ve totally almost fallen into that pattern before. It’s like that Julia Roberts movie Runaway Bride. Richard Gere asks all of her exes how she likes her eggs, and all say “___. Just like me.” (It changed based on who she was dating.) And, yes, where would we be without mistakes. I’m a much healthier and happier person to date because of mistakes I’ve made and learned from in my past.

RCA: You said, “You have to have some freedom in it, or it dies, and everyone ends up feeling miserable and trapped.” I totally agree.

lamesabassman: Relationships are definitely complex.

No Nonsense: You guys all left really good comments on this one. I disagree with some stuff everyone said, and I agree with a lot of it. You said: “Freedom is relative. It means different things to different people and it changes as the relationship evolves.” Love it. So true — in all aspects of life, no?

Baba Doodlius: Mrs. Doodlius is a lucky woman. Everytime you write about her, it sound like the two of you have found something really special. I’m happy for you.

dkzone: Congrats for getting out of it!! :) I like how you put it: “I basically gave her everything; the house, the car, the furniture……but i kept my sanity.” In the end, sounds like you got to keep what matters most!

Mollena: I know, right? I kind of wanted to follow them around to get more context and hear more of the argument, but that would’ve been weird :) [People, read this woman's blog! http://www.mollena.com.] By the way, you are soooooo on the money with “If his idea of freedom means [...]” because I know SEVERAL people who mean exactly that when they talk about “freedom.” Freedom does not necessarily mean “the right to be selfish.”

Cynthia: Yes, I soooo didn’t get the impression that their fight helped their relationship.

brainsnbeauty2: Ooooh, good comment: “problems will always arise when people aren’t honest about their expectations of the other person in the beginning of the relationship.”

Kyle: First, congrats on building a life together for 16 years and congrats on the (upcoming) newest member of your family. :) I really love it when men talk about how much they love their relationships. You and Baba Doodlius make me smile. You said: “I believe it is possible to keep a degree of freedom in a relationship, but it isn’t something that just happens, it’s something that happens because of intention and continual communication and work.” I think the best men on the internet read Funky Brown Chick. And, yeah, I know I could be totally off about the topic of their argument, but I’m soo putting my money on cheating. Don’t put my finger on exactly what it was. Actually, you know what? I can. It was his face. His reaction (more than her words) make me think he was cheating.

davinna: I don’t think it’s possible to change anyone. So, yeah, “what’s inside is inside.” But, I kind of think being in some relationships can motivate someone to change themselves. Like, if you’re dating someone who eats really bad food, you might start doing that, too. Or, if you’re dating someone who works out all the time, you might get motivated to get in shape.

fatlady: Are you singing? ;) By the way, AWESOME questions: “How come when someone is expected to live according to certain expectations or obligations in a romantic relationship, it is suddenly deemed a loss of freedom, when it’s not perceived that way in other relationships? If someone didn’t show up to work for a day or two and their office called to see where they were, would it be acceptable to say, ‘Hey, back off!  I need my freedom?’ So why, is it a problem if a spouse expects the same accountability?“