My name is Colby Spence and I am a transracial adoptive person who can input some insight in the rollercoaster life of a transracial child. I am Japanese and my parents are Afro-American. I was brought up during the Civil Rights era. My age is 59 years old. I am doing a research paper on this subject. In saying this I would like so insight from you and will give you a detail version of my life so far. If I could I would like your thoughts or input.

Colby Spence
Norfolk, Virginia

 
Do you believe they (other couple) should throw out the existing child they had been helping to raise and damage her psychologically and in particular her ability to attach to caregivers for life etc? What about the attachment with their bio child.  They did the right thing for the right reasons or so it appears.  I believe we are doing the right thing for the right reasons.  I am a Christian and my Lord said suffer the little children to come unto me.   He didnt say anything about what colour they were nor do “I believe he would pleased to see us reject one because of race or because of the situation you describe.  

Nevertheless black children need good and permanent homes  One idea, and ;many more ideas are needed, is calling all ministers to exhort congregations and mnake them aware there is a need,  This is God’s work and therefore our work as we are His Royal \Priesthood.

I’d challenge anyone with strict anti-mixed adoption views to spend time at one of these events, meet these children, hear their stories, and then look one of them in the eye and tell them they should stay in the system a little longer in hopes of a family of the “right” color taking an interest. I mean, it’s not like the statistics suggest most of them will not be lucky enough to be “chosen” and will end up alone and without appropriate support networks once they reach the age of majority. Oh wait, that’s *exactly* what usually happens.

This family met a little girl in need. They didn’t go out looking for her. For whatever reason, the system and insert-your-deity-or-belief-of-choice brought her to them, and they stepped the fuck up and opened their lives to her. And they did it in spite of what they must have known would be racist backlash. Good for them. And good for the rest of us and that little girl (given up by a DOZEN previous foster parents) that people like them exist.

I think it’s a supply and demand issue. There are a disproportionate number of black kids available vs. white kids. I really think that in order for this couple to adopt a white kid they would actually have to aggressively pursue a ” white child”.

For example, My ex wife and I were not capable of having a child, went through all the infertility treatments and everything . So we decided to adopt. Now you always hear about the “waiting list” and how you have to go abroad to adopt and so forth. That applies to white babies. We went to the hospital and believe it or not they actually call it this ” the baby bank” walked into the nursery and there were 7 black babies waiting to be adopted. Keep in mind this was a small hospital. After i did some digging the larger hospitals generally will have upwards of 20-30 babies waiting to be adopted. So many in fact that they don’t have the nursing staff to hold the babies and properly socialize them.

People are standing in line to adopt white babies, while black babies are being moved along into the fostercare system….and we know how much fun that is. Did I mention that the mother that we were adopting from was a lifetime foster kid? Did I further mention that this was her 4th kid by the age of 16. About a year later the fostercare people wanted us to adopt her new twins……That’s right the system was thowing black babies at us for adoption.

So when people look at this and think it’s weird or out of the ordinary, it’s not just because she is white. It’s because they actually had to elbow past a bunch of other white people and totally disregard all the available black kids to specifically adopt a white baby.

It turns out that they had developed a relationship with the girl while she was a fosterchild with someone they knew.

I know people have very passionate views on adoption.  I frequently cringe at breeders saying ” I want one of my own.”   

However, studies do show that adoptive children have less problems than bio kids. 

One of the more famous studies is from
Kathlyn Marquis and Richard Detweiler of New York City’s own Drew University.

Here’s a girl that needed a home, and someone came forward to provide for her.
Isn’t that the real story? Props to Mark and Terri and congrats to Katie!