Comments on: Would You Sleep with an HIV+ Partner? http://funkybrownchick.com/2009/07/13/would-you-sleep-with-an-hiv-partner/ Twanna is a sex, dating and relationships writer in New York City. She's funky. She has brown skin. And, she's a chick. FUNKYBROWNCHICK™ chronicles her life. Fri, 19 Mar 2010 22:31:13 -0700 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.6 hourly 1 By: Tam http://funkybrownchick.com/2009/07/13/would-you-sleep-with-an-hiv-partner/comment-page-1/#comment-113864 Tam Sat, 08 Aug 2009 23:30:41 +0000 http://funkybrownchick.com/?p=2089#comment-113864 Knowingly no, but then again people don't always know. I guess to be safe, I'd prefer dating someone who did regular checkups and was clean. If my lover contracted it somehow, and I didn't have it. I'm not sure what I would do. If he were screwing around on me and got it, I'd be pissed and most likely leave his ass. If it were from some other situation, I wouldn't want to just up and abandon him. I wouldn't be able to sleep with him though. Knowingly no, but then again people don’t always know. I guess to be safe, I’d prefer dating someone who did regular checkups and was clean.

If my lover contracted it somehow, and I didn’t have it. I’m not sure what I would do. If he were screwing around on me and got it, I’d be pissed and most likely leave his ass. If it were from some other situation, I wouldn’t want to just up and abandon him. I wouldn’t be able to sleep with him though.

]]> By: Molly http://funkybrownchick.com/2009/07/13/would-you-sleep-with-an-hiv-partner/comment-page-1/#comment-112295 Molly Tue, 28 Jul 2009 02:14:35 +0000 http://funkybrownchick.com/?p=2089#comment-112295 "nothing compares to being properly stuffed with a stiff, clean, fleshy shaft (with a condom)." Truer words have never been spoken. You are a woman after my own heart! “nothing compares to being properly stuffed with a stiff, clean, fleshy shaft (with a condom).”

Truer words have never been spoken. You are a woman after my own heart!

]]> By: Twanna A. Hines | FUNKYBROWNCHICK.com http://funkybrownchick.com/2009/07/13/would-you-sleep-with-an-hiv-partner/comment-page-1/#comment-110808 Twanna A. Hines | FUNKYBROWNCHICK.com Thu, 16 Jul 2009 15:08:41 +0000 http://funkybrownchick.com/?p=2089#comment-110808 <strong></strong><strong><a href="http://www.baserinstincts.com/" rel="nofollow">Desiree</a></strong>: Yep, exactly. There's a difference between "starting" a relationship with a handful of knowledge vs. being in a relationship any finding something out later. Desiree: Yep, exactly. There’s a difference between “starting” a relationship with a handful of knowledge vs. being in a relationship any finding something out later.

]]> By: No Nonsense http://funkybrownchick.com/2009/07/13/would-you-sleep-with-an-hiv-partner/comment-page-1/#comment-110691 No Nonsense Wed, 15 Jul 2009 14:54:37 +0000 http://funkybrownchick.com/?p=2089#comment-110691 @ Kate: My simple is answer  of NO has nothing to do with lack of education, it's a boundary issue for me. We all have boundaries, would I date a convicted criminal? no--  my boundary, would I date some one who pays no attention to personal hygiene, bad breath smelly arm pits? no... another boundary, and many others I can think of. No one should consider educating me on empathy because criminals are off limits for me. So don't assume I know nothing about HIV, it's just that's a boundary I created when I dated. As a matter of fact, before I got married whomever I was considering dating, we would go together and get tested before sex. @ Kate: My simple is answer  of NO has nothing to do with lack of education, it’s a boundary issue for me. We all have boundaries, would I date a convicted criminal? no–  my boundary, would I date some one who pays no attention to personal hygiene, bad breath smelly arm pits? no… another boundary, and many others I can think of. No one should consider educating me on empathy because criminals are off limits for me. So don’t assume I know nothing about HIV, it’s just that’s a boundary I created when I dated. As a matter of fact, before I got married whomever I was considering dating, we would go together and get tested before sex.

]]> By: Desiree http://funkybrownchick.com/2009/07/13/would-you-sleep-with-an-hiv-partner/comment-page-1/#comment-110355 Desiree Tue, 14 Jul 2009 19:52:30 +0000 http://funkybrownchick.com/?p=2089#comment-110355 Consider this. In much the same manner that exposure to semen does not result in pregnancy in every instance (quite the opposite really),contact, even sexual contact that results in you getting exposed to the virus, does not guarantee that you will contract the virus. But yes, it is a huge risk. That being said, I would not become involved sexually with someone that I knew was HIV positive. However, if I were with someone, my current partner for instance, and, by some unfortunate happenstance, he contracted the virus, I would not just pick up and leave him either. Consider this.

In much the same manner that exposure to semen does not result in pregnancy in every instance (quite the opposite really),contact, even sexual contact that results in you getting exposed to the virus, does not guarantee that you will contract the virus. But yes, it is a huge risk.

That being said, I would not become involved sexually with someone that I knew was HIV positive.

However, if I were with someone, my current partner for instance, and, by some unfortunate happenstance, he contracted the virus, I would not just pick up and leave him either.

]]> By: lamesabassman...... http://funkybrownchick.com/2009/07/13/would-you-sleep-with-an-hiv-partner/comment-page-1/#comment-110232 lamesabassman...... Tue, 14 Jul 2009 16:28:52 +0000 http://funkybrownchick.com/?p=2089#comment-110232 that's so true,my sister..... please be careful.... lamesabassman... am losing so many good friends to this... will someone find a cure,please... that’s so true,my sister….. please be careful….

lamesabassman… am losing so many good friends to this… will someone find a cure,please…

]]> By: Twanna A. Hines | FUNKYBROWNCHICK.com http://funkybrownchick.com/2009/07/13/would-you-sleep-with-an-hiv-partner/comment-page-1/#comment-110210 Twanna A. Hines | FUNKYBROWNCHICK.com Tue, 14 Jul 2009 15:57:53 +0000 http://funkybrownchick.com/?p=2089#comment-110210 <strong><a href="http://www.myopenletters.typepad.com/" rel="nofollow">No Nonsense</a></strong>: A clear answer :) <strong>DivaDivine</strong>: I'll let Bro answer that one ... <strong> <a href="http://www.alexgeana.com/" rel="nofollow">Alex</a></strong>: VERY good point about needing a cure. For me, that's what scares and saddens me about HIV and AIDS. Like herpes, for now, it's a gift for life. <strong> Anon</strong>: Ditto on the "until there is a vaccine." And, good comment about the "I think I would seek out a partner with a similar situation" stuff. Goes back to my point that it's not entirely fair to ask for something in others that I can't provide in return. <strong><a href="http://www.treslola.com/" rel="nofollow">Kate</a></strong>: Thanks for commenting! The world is most interesting when people respectfully disagree. I'm 100% with you on "This is absolutely about education." And, yeah, I'll admit I don't know as much about the issues as I could. At the same time, there's a caveat; even with education, I think everyone should be able to date as they please -- whether that decision is based on race, height, weight, economic status, infection status, etc. And, yeah, I would absolutely write some people off without having met them. If I met a guy online and he told me he served 10 - 20 years for a murder/rape, there's NO WAY I'd go on a date with him. You gave me an idea for Wednesday's FBC post: Dealbreakers - Men I Absolutely Would Not Date. <strong> Original_Bro:</strong> Thanks for commenting!!! :) <strong>A.</strong>: Good point about "you still can't call it 'safe sex.'" I got in the habit of writing safe(r) sex, but sometimes I forget. In all honestly, as long as you're having sex, it's never 100% safe. <strong>letinstar</strong>: And, that's your right. <strong> <a href="http://doodlius.blogspot.com/" rel="nofollow">Baba Doodlius</a></strong>: Right there with you. <strong>trevor</strong>: Oooh, I agree and disagree here too. :) I'm not going to (knowingly) sleep with an HIV+ person. That said, I don't hold anyone totally responsible for their status. I think many people who carry HIV haven't been any more or less responsible in sex than I have. I'm really careful about safety but, yeah, I've screwed around without a condom w/ longterm boyfriend and I've had a condom break with shortterm dudes. I also had surgery in the 80s and received blood products. I know my status; I'm not HIV+. But, I have a "there but by the grace of God go I" attitude about it. That said, as long as I'm HIV-, I'll try my damdest stay that way and I'm certainly not going to sleep with an HIV+ person.<strong> anthonyb</strong>: And, you're 100% free to feel that way. :) <strong> lamesabassman</strong>: Bro brought up a good point when I talked to her last night: "Technically, to some degree, every time you have sex, you're playing roulette." <strong> mydria</strong>: Thanks for posting the links!!! I'm not sure why it didn't occur to me to include that in my original post.<strong> Lady: </strong>From your response it sounds like you're still sitting on fence about this. Made up your mind yet? ;)<strong> </strong> No Nonsense: A clear answer :)

DivaDivine: I’ll let Bro answer that one …

Alex: VERY good point about needing a cure. For me, that’s what scares and saddens me about HIV and AIDS. Like herpes, for now, it’s a gift for life.

Anon: Ditto on the “until there is a vaccine.” And, good comment about the “I think I would seek out a partner with a similar situation” stuff. Goes back to my point that it’s not entirely fair to ask for something in others that I can’t provide in return.

Kate: Thanks for commenting! The world is most interesting when people respectfully disagree. I’m 100% with you on “This is absolutely about education.” And, yeah, I’ll admit I don’t know as much about the issues as I could. At the same time, there’s a caveat; even with education, I think everyone should be able to date as they please — whether that decision is based on race, height, weight, economic status, infection status, etc. And, yeah, I would absolutely write some people off without having met them. If I met a guy online and he told me he served 10 – 20 years for a murder/rape, there’s NO WAY I’d go on a date with him. You gave me an idea for Wednesday’s FBC post: Dealbreakers – Men I Absolutely Would Not Date.

Original_Bro: Thanks for commenting!!! :)

A.: Good point about “you still can’t call it ’safe sex.’” I got in the habit of writing safe(r) sex, but sometimes I forget. In all honestly, as long as you’re having sex, it’s never 100% safe.

letinstar: And, that’s your right.

Baba Doodlius: Right there with you.

trevor: Oooh, I agree and disagree here too. :) I’m not going to (knowingly) sleep with an HIV+ person. That said, I don’t hold anyone totally responsible for their status. I think many people who carry HIV haven’t been any more or less responsible in sex than I have. I’m really careful about safety but, yeah, I’ve screwed around without a condom w/ longterm boyfriend and I’ve had a condom break with shortterm dudes. I also had surgery in the 80s and received blood products. I know my status; I’m not HIV+. But, I have a “there but by the grace of God go I” attitude about it. That said, as long as I’m HIV-, I’ll try my damdest stay that way and I’m certainly not going to sleep with an HIV+ person.

anthonyb: And, you’re 100% free to feel that way. :)

lamesabassman: Bro brought up a good point when I talked to her last night: “Technically, to some degree, every time you have sex, you’re playing roulette.”

mydria: Thanks for posting the links!!! I’m not sure why it didn’t occur to me to include that in my original post.

Lady: From your response it sounds like you’re still sitting on fence about this. Made up your mind yet? ;)

]]> By: Lady_M http://funkybrownchick.com/2009/07/13/would-you-sleep-with-an-hiv-partner/comment-page-1/#comment-110134 Lady_M Tue, 14 Jul 2009 13:23:29 +0000 http://funkybrownchick.com/?p=2089#comment-110134 No thank you. No thank you.

]]> By: mydria http://funkybrownchick.com/2009/07/13/would-you-sleep-with-an-hiv-partner/comment-page-1/#comment-110035 mydria Tue, 14 Jul 2009 08:44:06 +0000 http://funkybrownchick.com/?p=2089#comment-110035 I would not have sex with an HIV positive person. It's not safe and I wouldn't want to put myself at risk. Your friend's comment about everyone needing someone to love is valid, but an HIV positive person can't expect to get that love from people who don't have the disease. If I were HIV positive, I'd pretty much figure all people without HIV were off limits to me and wouldn't even entertain the idea of dating people who didn't have the disease. I'd probably just give up on love. But if I was HIV positive and did want to date, I'd look for other HIV positive people to date and have sex with. There are actually dating sites for this, such as www.HIVnet.com, www.positivesdating.com, www.hivpositivedating.net, and www.pozmatch.com. I would not have sex with an HIV positive person. It’s not safe and I wouldn’t want to put myself at risk. Your friend’s comment about everyone needing someone to love is valid, but an HIV positive person can’t expect to get that love from people who don’t have the disease.

If I were HIV positive, I’d pretty much figure all people without HIV were off limits to me and wouldn’t even entertain the idea of dating people who didn’t have the disease. I’d probably just give up on love. But if I was HIV positive and did want to date, I’d look for other HIV positive people to date and have sex with. There are actually dating sites for this, such as http://www.HIVnet.com, http://www.positivesdating.com, http://www.hivpositivedating.net, and http://www.pozmatch.com.

]]> By: lamesabassman...... http://funkybrownchick.com/2009/07/13/would-you-sleep-with-an-hiv-partner/comment-page-1/#comment-109898 lamesabassman...... Tue, 14 Jul 2009 00:52:37 +0000 http://funkybrownchick.com/?p=2089#comment-109898 it's kinda like playing Russian Roulette with  FULLY LOADED GUN....  yeah can hang with them .... dine .... shoot hoops..... but..... oh, hell no .... no sex... thru no fault of their own or by not being VERY CAREFUL that they were to receive such a death sentence means that they're in a world by themselves..... no kissing.... can do hugs and no mambos ever.... and the ones who spread it because someone gave it to them,so they are returning the favor deserve to be drawn and quartered and roasted over a slow fire.... and .... yeah, if and when that I EVER caught this curse.... I would kill myself is to not spread this to anyone else.... lamesabassman.... this is the only time that something like this is not even open for discussion.... no quarter, period. it’s kinda like playing Russian Roulette with  FULLY LOADED GUN….  yeah can hang with
them …. dine …. shoot hoops….. but….. oh, hell no …. no sex…
thru no fault of their own or by not being VERY CAREFUL that they were to receive such a
death sentence means that they’re in a world by themselves….. no kissing…. can do hugs
and no mambos ever….
and the ones who spread it because someone gave it to them,so they are returning the favor
deserve to be drawn and quartered and roasted over a slow fire….

and …. yeah, if and when that I EVER caught this curse…. I would kill myself is to not spread
this to anyone else….

lamesabassman…. this is the only time that something like this is not even open for discussion…. no quarter, period.

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