The other day, a Funky Brown Chick reader named Kate commented, “I wouldn’t write anybody off without having met them” on my Would You Sleep with an HIV+ Partner? post. On How NOT to Ask for Dating Advice, Mollena contributed, “I am sure you have had the experience of people using what they consider to be the sly maneuver of seeking a sympathetic ear and an empathetic shoulder and then flipping the ‘game’ on.” True, indeed.
The two lovely ladies’ thoughts made me wonder: Is there anyone I would shoot down immediately and avoid dating — without ever having met them? Absolutely. Here’s a short list, but I’m sure there are more …
- Anyone with a “gift that keeps giving for life” (herpes, HIV+, etc.)
- Guys who admit they have extremely poor hygiene
- Criminals with records for overly heinous crimes such as rape, murder and cannibalism
- Men who still live at home with their parents and have never lived alone.
- Pedophiles
- Racists
- Wimps (Stand up for me when/if needed, and DEFINITELY stand up for yourself.)
- The Funky Brown Chick reader in India who called me from Mumbai, offering money for marriage
- Emotionally or physically abusive dudes
- Married men
I’m sure I’m forgetting a few prime suspects. In the meantime, tell me: Is there anyone you’d shoot immediately down in dating — without ever having met them?
{ 20 comments… read them below or add one }
women who dont know how to cook….. that’s a must…. I cook very well…. was taught at the age of nine by my Mom and Grandmother who both told that if a lady cant cook you a meal,
then it’s no deal …. ’cause she isn’t worth your time,money or love..
and ones who have fingernails long enough to turn the lights off from across the room… with
nails like that,you just know the hygiene is gonna be a major problem …..
and finally…. how they dress…. if you are wearing something you have to always pull on or pull down,then it’s too short or not made for your frame… and you knew that when you put it
on…. you just thought that with this on ,you would be better eye candy…. it just makes you
look like 5 lbs. of candy in a 1 lb bag…..
lamesabassman…. ya gotta bring something to the table if you wanta sit down….
I wouldn’t date a smoker. Can’t stand the smell, much less the taste when kissing.
I agree with Pegs: no smokers. I also agree with funkybrownchick, except for wimps (although I get bored with them) and never having lived alone (there may be good reasons, especially with the current economic climate).
I think I’d have to add:
Not fluent in English. We need to be able to communicate about serious things, and the only language I’m fluent enough to do that in is English, unfortunately.
Frat boy. If someone’s idea of a good time is getting completely drunk and passing out, we have nothing in common.
Cheater. If he’s cheated on a previous partner, I assume he’ll do the same with me.
Stupid or incapable of introspection. I expect intelligent conversation in my relationships.
Sexist or homophobic. In the same category as racism, as far as I’m concerned.
Extremely religious. I’m irreverent so I can’t see myself ever in a relationship with a fundamentalist.
Wants children. I don’t, so why bother getting in a relationship with someone who does?
Has children. Same as above, but worse.
huh, I used the bullet points in the comment editor but they didn’t show up.
ditto to all of above but include drug abuser
Thanks for the mention :) Glad to add to the convo – had to laugh when you mentioned this:
“The Funky Brown Chick reader in India who called my from Mumbai, offering money for marriage”
You poor love, I do recall when I had a person/webcam site, getting a lot of emails/IM’s of that nature.
I must say still though, on the topic at hand, beyond your mentions of if a person were a murder/rapist or something of that serious criminal nature, I really do think I’d give them a chance (albeit perhaps a short one) to prove themselves. I guess I like to think I’m a romantic, I’ve been burnt but I like to think opportunities and people present themselves in our lives for some higher reason… Perhaps that’s just a bit of new-age nonsense but I’m going to hold faith & try to keep believing it!
Iwould never date a dude who is unable to manage his finances!I’m big on paying the bills. Any man who says let’s pay that next week just gave me my cue to bounce! I’m not responsible almighty but I try to keep on keeping on. I love this post Twanna thanks!
Vanilla women. But…you knew I’d say that.
Just three to add:
1) Richard Gere.
2) Vampires.
3) Bloggers. They’re the worst of the bunch.
Have a nice day!
At least Armond White’s with me on 500 Days. But I can’t agree with his Juno bashing. If 500 Days of Summ. is the new Juno, I should like it
never a married man..rapist..pedophile…i think your list says its all..I agree..we all must make choices in life..and i choose not to engage in relations with any of those type of men
Anyone who is like my brother or father…so, in short, assholes. That covers a wide spectrum of behaviors and statuses.
@Boba Doodlius, Re: vampires. Hey, don’t knock it til you’ve tried it! :P
I would not date a smoker, a married man, a man who is obese, has poor hygiene. And I would not date a midget. I am tall, so I need a man who is taller than me.
There are a lot more things I could name, but that is just a few.
gee…. do I smell “True Blood” in da’ house…..
lamesabassman….. killer show….
People are always dumping on the last minority on Earth its okay to be prejudiced against: the cannibal. For shame.
Vampires suck.
ya think…..
lamesabassman….. and boy howdy, do they….
can’t say i care for vampires. all they want to suck is blood.
this may sound elitist of me, but i wouldn’t date anyone who hasn’t been to college. i understand that people can be very intelligent and intellectual without having gone to college, but college is also about the experience, and i’d like to be able to share with my partner.
I like this topic. To see women compile a list of what they DON’T want in a bloke is encouraging. I have been doing it for years. I don’t care what a woman looks like, how big her arse is, how much she earns, how many wrinkles she has or where she went to school. But if she smokes, does drugs or drinks too much, that’s it!!