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A great social commentator (Chris Rock) once said, “You have two choices in life: you’re either married and bored or single and lonely.” I have to remember to avoid falling into the “grass is always greener” trap. Thought I’d lighten the mood of the blog a bit with a funny Current TV video about a newly-cohabiting couple. My favorite line: “You went went out with a coke dealer? With a soul patch? Who worked at SIZZLER?!?!” If it doesn’t load below, you can also view the clip here.
{ 21 comments… read them below or add one }
Hate to say it and be all smug, but I’m married and my life is exciting. I’m sure it’ll fade, but these last few years have been great, and not boring at all.
Yep, it comes across smug, condescending and passive aggressive. :) But, that’s not the part that bothers me. What’s interesting to me is this: it’s clearly a lie.
As I’ve said before: “I’m quite sure there’s joy and happiness in some marriages; and, of course, there are times when being married feels 100% shitty. Likewise, there’s joy and happiness in some singlehood; and, of course, there are times when being single feels 100% shitty. Anyone who claims either status is ALWAYS 100% great is simply 100% lying.”
I honestly don’t get it :( I swear, without fail, whenever I even MENTION marriage on this site, it seems at least one married person chimes up to say something to the tune of: “Married life is great! It’s fantastic!!!! I’m happy. DAMN IT, I’M VERY HAPPY!!!” It’s worth noting MOST married people who read the site don’t do that but, again, without fail, at least one person does. This time, it’s you.
So, seriously, if you’d like to have I dialogue about it, I’d love to know: What triggered your explanation / defense?
Greetings twanna a hines mz funky brown chick well Im a single black 29 year old male I try to meet women at air ports super markets and conventions and I try to meet women out of town and at nite clubs I try to spit my g to the ladies but it seems Like they give me the cold shoulders or they stuck up or they say they have a man I haven,t been in a long term relationship before well you can say I never been in a relationship with a girl before a real one. I never even been on a dating game show before like flavor of love show and for the love of ray j show before Im single and looking for true love I no it still exist. Do you have advice for me JERMAINE CHATMAN OF ROCHESTER > NY
That video was hilarious! Thank you for sharing it, exactly what I needed after a long, hard, craptacular week. I just felt so sorry for that cat!
Hey ms fbc..I’m married and excited..me and my hubby keep it fresh..who wants boring and self-centered..we do us all the time which means we are a team and whatever we want to do..we do!! Marriage is compromise and understanding..but u are still an independent person.
Married life is great! It’s fantastic!!!! I’m happy. DAMN IT, I’M VERY HAPPY!!!
I’ll go that last person one better and say “Married life makes me walk around having SPONTANEOUS MULTIPLE ORGASMS!!!”
(So now it’s more than just one person doing it. Ha, ha!)
;) I look to Chris Rock for insightful political commentary – never for what he has to say about relationships.
Interesting that you brought up this topic. I’ve been thinking for a moment how people and media tend to showcase marriage and the suburbs as a boring, bland lifestyle. I was trying to figure out why. Is it because those choices are considered to be so conventional that only the mindless drones incapable of leading a chart-your-own course, rugged individual life? Don’t know.
But I think the line “I’m married and happy, damnit!” is kind of a response to show that the stereotype does not here, and two individuals chose to bond for life and are actually happy with the choice (much more than less).
Jermaine Chatman: If you’ve never been in a relationship and you WANT to be in one, maybe try therapy? I’m a fan of it.
Aspasia: I love Current TV’s programming. Series, they’ve got a lot of really good stuff.
mrsbigg: Good for you. :)
Baba Doodlius: Your comments always make me smile! :) And, dude, I want to see pictures and video of the next bout of SPONTANEOUS MULTIPLE ORGASMS. Sounds like fun :)
Kjen: OMG, THANK YOU for a sane, plausible and understandable response; helps me understand the “WE’RE HAPPY DAMMIT” stuff a bit better. And, yes, Chris Rock is all sorts of comical greatness. :)
Chris does make a point….. when two become one …. that’s it…. it’s you two against the world….. no shorts…. no prisoners…. and that’s when the dice are tossed……
lamesabassman….. it’s what you make of it…. plain ….. or extra crispy…..
i laughed at this, but when i was single i was never lonely (great friends, lived in a great city)…
now that i’m with someone, i’m not bored (again, great friends & great city)…
i think kjen is right on track–society & the media offer all these stereotypes of how we’re supposed to behave, but we seldom act in accordance with these limited roles
lamesabassman: Exactly. Life — whether married, divorced, single or other — is what you make of it.
Rochelle: Glad you like the video!
I’m married, and I’m lonely, very lonely. To be quite honest, my husband has turned into an asshole. If it were not for my social network of great friends and my kids, I don’t know what I’d do. Marriage is what you make of it– I agree with lamesabassman and it all depends on who you are with. I say if you are with someone who doesn’t tear you down and makes you happy, you are very fortunate. There are just as many married people who FEEL single and are bored and lonely as there are single people who are not bored or lonely. I chose poorly, I know that now, but I’m older and wiser and I know better. Just make sure you are marrying for the right reasons– I know now that I didn’t.
Puma73: THANK YOU for your honesty!! :) For years, I’ve said: “Being lonely doesn’t have anything to do with the number of people around you — it’s about not having your needs met.” You can be lonely without a relationship and you can be lonely in one. The time I felt MOST lonely was when I dated a guy who was soooo incapable of being “there for me” emotionally. I felt totally unsupported. I love him; so, of course it hurt like hell when we eventually broke up but I sooooo needed to move away from him in order to find someone who was a better match.
I read an interesting artice in the Post awhile back about a study from Julianne Holt-Lunst from BYU, about how bad marriage can raise blood pressure more than being single.
It even mentioned how the thought of a spouse entering a room can raise the other’s blood pressure! Funny my blood pressure rising just being around married people.
Best,
Blonde Man
Single and healthy blood pressure
And Thank you Twanna for blogging about this topic. I’m glad that you were able to get out of that relationship. It does take it’s toll on your emotions, but you end up much stronger in the end. To Blonde Man: Funny you should mention that, my blood pressure has been skyrocketing lately and I work out a lot and try to eat right, so I know it’s stress.
Blonde Man: Stay strong. Stay healthy!!! :)
Puma73: Reducing stress is a HUGE factor in healthy living.
Nope! Sure isn’t all shits and giggles and BELIEVE ME! I KNOW! Been married twice and yes, I”m engaged now and probably be married by next year. This time I made this one wait for 3.5 yrs. LOL!
I, also, agree I’ve felt more lonely being in a relationship than those dreadfully lonely holidays w/out a significant other. Now that’s bad. I believe you feel this way, due to a failing relationship or one where you’re trying to make someone selfish and incapable understand you sometimes need the shoulder to lean on, not always cry on, but if only to take a break from the stresses of life. Ya’ know what I mean? This not only serves for women, but men too! Believe me you, I know a few women I’d like to take a bat to for the cold-hearted ways they are w/good men. I’m always the mighty defender for the UnderDog. *heehee*
SO back to the subject… yes, errr no, marriage is not always what it’s made up to be. For me I like a little heated argument now and then. It keeps both of us on our toes. Say, ” Yes dear” to me all the time almost makes me feel like a man is too passive and it’s a turn off. I want a man who’s not afraid to lay it on the line. Almost makes me feel secure and the making up love jam sessions are so much more enticing. Having a perfectly happy marriage might be all fine and dandy, sweet as candy, but I’d be lying if I told you this is the truth. AND IF IT IS PERFECT… best to look out ’cause somethings just not right.
Now all those perfect happy married ppl let me have it! LOL!
Heeeey there. I’m married and having a BLAST. It’s great having a partner in crime for all the cooky things I love doing!
do I smell pants……
lamesabassman…… on fire……
I think Rock is being general and people are looking into it too much. I’ve been married for three years and overall I have fun with my husband, but sometimes things DO get mundane and boring. I’m not complaining, that’s just life. I’d rather be married than single, but that’s ME. When I was single, I wasn’t exactly LONELY, I had friends and family. BUT it was nothing like being MARRIED. What Rock is saying is that either way you’re screwed…LOL.
hello i don’t know if it a right place to post this but i have to post it somewhere, am 23 and very pretty i heard people telling me always but i have never really have a lasting relationship and i need something real that will last cause an really getting bored.