Twanna A. Hines @ FUNKYBROWNCHICK.com | sex. dating. relationships.

Greetings From Utah, Online Porn Capital Of The USA

“UTAH?!?!” I was stunned. “There aren’t any beaches there. Who the fuck goes to Utah on vacation?!?!” Apparently, I do. Wanna know how I ended up here? Weeeeell, Single Edition — a site for people seeking singles information unrelated to dating (i.e. cooking recipes for one, personal growth events, etc.) – challenged me, “Tell us what the hell is so great about being single?” I wasn’t sure what to say. Flying solo isn’t always great, but it’s not entirely bad either. So I said, for me, the best part about being on my own is the massive amounts of self discovery. (Read my full response here.) Single Edition liked my answer so much they hooked me up with a solo travel trip to Red Mountain Spa. The small print said the all-inclusive package was pimped out with: deluxe accommodation, roundtrip airport transfers, a 50-minute massage, healthy gourmet cuisine (three meals daily), complimentary bike rental, in-room high-speed internet and daily guided hikes, healthy living courses, awareness walks and Tai Chi. “Hmmm,” I thought, “okay, maybe Utah’s not so bad.”  :)

I arrived in the Beehive State Sunday afternoon. Quite honestly, it took a little while to warm up to the place. I’m a city girl. I don’t feel entirely at ease when I’m the only person of color passing through a really small town. I’m not in my my comfort zone unless I can High Five neighbors from my front door. And, I like the convenience of 24-hour delis, yellow taxi cabs and late night bars. Luckily, my first event in Utah was a group dinner during which I quickly discovered: (1) I’m not the only brown person here; (2) Red Mountain Spa actually really ROCKS and it’s a great singles adventure travel destination; (2.5) everyone affiliated with the place is extremely friendly; (3) and so many of my fellow spa / hiking resortees are extremely amazing, interesting and fun people. At dinner, sitting at a table with tons a singles traveling on their own, folks told me about coming to Red Mountain for the 6th, 14th or 8th time. (The high number of repeat visitors traveling alone gives you an idea how much single people like it here!!)

Granted, I’m probably as much of a fish out of water in Utah as many native Utahns would be in Midtown Manhattan. But, for now, I feel like I’m in exactly where I’m supposed to be. You guys, seriously, I can’t even begin to describe how beautiful it is out here. I think I needed to escape from Manhattan’s stress, price gouging, noise pollution and other brashness for a bit. I feel an extreme sense of clarity and peace surrounded by the sacred red rock mountain landscape. No joke, Red Mountain Spa is really a lovely place. So, HUGE thank you and much appreciation goes out to them as well as Single Edition. And, ahem, by the way and for the record, Utah is the world’s online porn capital and one of this particular town’s very own residents is porno actress Asia Carrera. So, maybe the place isn’t so stuffy?

I know I promised you guys the “Kennedy Men” post for this glorious Manly Monday. But, I didn’t get around to blogging about that. For now, I’m just really enjoying the much needed “unscheduled time.” No one expects me to write anything, be anywhere or do anything. And, I like that. In my own time, I’ll tell you more about this trip in detail. In the meantime, you can follow along on my Twitter and look at pictures on my Flickr.

Technorati Tags: Asia Carrera, porn, Red Mountain Spa, Single Edition, singles adventure travel, solo travel, Utah

August 31st, 2009 | Print This Post | link | Email This Post | [16] folks got down with the Funky Brown

Black Women + Asian Men = Blasian Hot Dating

I’m leaving New York for a tiny vacation tomorrow. More on that soon. In the meantime, before I spill those details, I soooo have to tell you news about the latest onscreen blasian couple. If you read Everyone Loves an Asian Boy, you know how much I adore cute blasian (Black Woman / Asian Man or Black Man / Asian Woman) couples on television and in real life. And by “TV” I mean streaming. I gave up cable. So, as I was saying, apparently, there’s a new one coming to a screen near you. ABC’s Flash Forward features that sexy drop of deliciousness, John Cho. His character, Demetri Noh, is engaged to “Zoey.” Soooooo, IMDB says Gabrielle Union has been cast in that role. (Also saw this on The Sauda Voice.) HOT BLASIAN LOVE!!! I’m, so excited to see a diverse cast on network TV, and I’m super interested to see if there’s any onscreen chemistry between John Cho and Gabrielle Union. They’re both incredibly sexy, attractive actors. Who doesn’t want to see them get it on?

Too fucking cute!! Why didn’t anyone tell me about this onscreen blasian coupling? In the clip below, I think ABC should change their advertising: [insert manly newscaster voice] Coming this fall … Flash Forward! The most intriguing show on ABC … AND we give you blasian love!! ;)

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Photos: Gabby Union on BET and John Cho on The Insider.

Technorati Tags: ABC, Asian men, black women, blasian, blasians, Flash Forward, funky brown chick, funkybrownchick, interracial dating, Twanna A. Hines

August 28th, 2009 | Print This Post | link | Email This Post | [25] folks got down with the Funky Brown

Black Women, Lesbians & Transgenders, Oh My!! ;)

Reading the transgendered piece on BlogHer reminded me I never wrote about attending and speaking at the their annual conference. Quite honestly, initially, I worried the vast majority of attendees would be mommybloggers and I thought I — a New York-dwelling, single, avidly childfree, funky brown chick — would be the odd woman out :( I didn’t really know what to expect. I’d met Elisa Camahort Page on previous occasions, but I didn’t know her very well nor had I yet experienced the pleasure meeting Lisa Stone and Jory Des Jardins in person. Also, it was my first BlogHer annual conference; so, I thought I’d have a good time at a nice event for passionate mommybloggers doing great things in business and online, but that would be it.

I’m happy to report the conference was even better than I thought it would be. Sessions included “Women of Color and Marketing,” LGBTQ roundtables and other diversity-centered talks. The shindig (and corresponding parties!) were well-organized, high-quality, informative and FUN. I’d undoubtedly forget a few events if I tried to list each of my favorites; so, I won’t. However, I definiltey wanted to blog about my FAVORITE part of the conferece — The Community Keynote. Instead of reserving the floor for a big shot, well-known speaker, this particular piece of the conference highlights ordinary women navigating extraordinarily human experiences. Stories included: Issa’s heart-breaking tale about her mentally ill, homeless Uncle Marky; Karen Walrond’s inspiring Reflections On Why the Election of Barack Obama Affected Me So Deeply; Sheri Reed’s brutally honest piece “Amends” about alcoholism; and Danielle Henderson’s funny story about a multi-day trial of a tampon lodged in her vagina after having sex with her husband. The latter didn’t go to the doctor for nearly a week because, “In my family, going to the doctor to have a foreign object removed from your body is a total ‘dick move’.”) Watch the entire Community Keynote below:

Also, be sure to check out my co-panelists’ fabulous blogs!! They’re online: The Pioneer Woman, Ree Drummond; social media guru Laura Roeder; and veteran online marketer Susan Getgood)

Technorati Tags: black women, BlogHer, community keynote, Danielle Henderson, Issa, Karen Walrond, lesbians, Sheri Reed, transgender, transsexuality, transsexuals

August 27th, 2009 | Print This Post | link | Email This Post | [3] folks got down with the Funky Brown

Reading: Transgendered Children – The Story that Changed My Mind

Earlier today, I saw the piece excerpted below on BlogHer. I think my last Funky Brown Chick post about trans issues was What About Transgendered Little Boys and Girls? from a couple months ago. (Heads up: Comments on that post are out of order because I was using Disqus at the time and have since temporarily switched back to a non-threaded commenting system.) If you’re interested in more in-depth coverage of transsexuality, I highly recommend Monica Roberts’ blog TransGriot. Also, don’t forget to click through to read Rita Arens‘ story about meeting Jen Khatchatrian. It’s refreshingly honest, and it caught my eye because I met Jen at the same conference, too; her story is actually quite moving.

“I went into the conversation thinking it was wrong to let a young child make the decision to change his or her gender. I came out of lunch thinking, ‘I have to help this woman find friends for her daughter. Her daughter who has a penis.’”

[ Continue reading: Transgendered Children ]

Technorati Tags: funky brown chick, funkybrownchick, gender, Men, relationships, sex, transgendered children, transsexuality, transsexuals, Twanna A. Hines, women

August 26th, 2009 | Print This Post | link | Email This Post | [1] comment so far

How Does Music Affect Your Sex Life?

By now, you’ve likely heard of Babeland’s Freestyle. They’re calling it “the world’s first music-responsive vibrator” because it allows you to DJ your orgasm by connecting it to your iPod. I haven’t tried it out yet, but I’m curious. It’d be nice to hand-pick songs for the perfect O. Laid back, sexy, mellow mood? Maxwell. Having a hot, heavy, All-Star sex moment? Kanye. Several months ago, I linked up with Babeland for partial-sponsorship of my site: They’ll let me test drive (free) sex toys and I write reviews to tell you guys whether or not they suck. I haven’t really taken advantage of it yet because I already have toys that make me happy — though I might check in about the  music vibrator because it’s so different from anything already in my collection. If I try it, I’ll tell you guys about it. If you don’t want to wait for my review, feel free to get the toy now. (Shh! Here’s a coupon for $$$ off.) Yeah, yeah I know we’re in a recession. So, if $130 is too pricey, you can buy sex toys under $30 and/or read stuff I’ve written about getting cheap sex.

Hmm … Let’s get back to music. Although I like the idea of an ipod-vibrator pulsating combo to the beat of my favorite tunes, I have to admit I don’t typically play music while bumping and grinding with a guy. Seems like one of those goofy things that only happen in movies — though, yes, I did it once with “Boy #2.” (Longterm readers know about that blast from the past, new readers can google it.) Anyway. Ages ago, we were in his apartment sitting on the couch watching television and gobbling his homemade pasta dinner. When our plates were clean, he turned the TV channel to a blue screen digital station featuring random jazz artists and pictures of dudes playing trumpet. “Mood music,” he said and winked at me. It felt contrived, cheesy and distracting. A new tune would start and I’d think, “Um, I don’t even like this song and it feels awkward to make out to it.” Plus … Maybe I’m weird, but I felt oddly compelled to kiss to the beat. That, of course, was clunky and off. Anyway. Generally, I’d rather listen to a guy pant, moan and groan about how good everything feels. Seems more natural. Earlier this year, I remember reading a few news articles about lyrics + teen boinking, but I haven’t seen or read anything else interesting about the topic. Curious to know if any of you have thoughts about music and sex. As always, feel free to leave your $0.02 in the comments section.

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Photo credit: Yamamoto Ortiz

Technorati Tags: dating, Freestyle, Men, music, relationships, sex, sex toys, vibrators, women

August 26th, 2009 | Print This Post | link | Email This Post | [18] folks got down with the Funky Brown

Sneak Peek: The Kennedy Men (Next Manly Monday)

Heads up: The next Manly Monday pick — weekly Funky Brown Chick celebrations of everything with testosterone — will be the Kennedy men. Photo credit: New York Times. In the meantime, check out NYTimes’ detailed coverage of Ted Kennedy’s passing.

Technorati Tags: New York Times, Ted Kennedy

August 26th, 2009 | Print This Post | link | Email This Post | [5] folks got down with the Funky Brown

My Social Calendar: Fun, Free Things to Do in NYC

Lately, I’ve been beating myself up about my finances because I feel like I’m spinning my wheels. It’s like I’m precariously perked in this weird space where I’m not dangerously struggling anymore (I remember and hated those days), but I’m not extremely financially secure either. I don’t have, like, six to nine months of savings in the bank. Any longterm, unexpected medical, financial or whatever blow could send me under. Unfortunately, that’s probably the case for a lot of New York City dwellers — many who, like me, pay at least or more than 1/2 their monthly income toward rent. I often think of leaving this city for good in 3 – 5 years’ time. But, then I remember, “Shit, you don’t have to live in NY to feel financially strapped!” Lots of friends living elsewhere in the country say the same things about money that I do. So, for better or worse, richer or poorer, I’m staying put. For now. New York — picture above by Marina Nisi — is still a great city. Anyway. As I mentioned on Twitter, I was out of town for the weekend visiting Dia:Beacon and other art galleries with Tess. I had a GREAT time. Plus, leaving New York reminds me why I choose to live here. Today’s reason: Tons of stuff to do at all hours of the day & night, and much of it’s free. If you’re in the city, here’s a list of a few things a few friends, strangers and others are hosting this week:

TODAY: Big Gay Spelling Bee. (7pm at Nowhere. 322 E 14th St between 1st & 2nd). “Tobly McSmith and Miss Sunday host this monthly spelling bee for all orthographic queers [...] plus prizes by Babeland.” I don’t think I know the organizers, but who doesn’t like free toys? :)

WEDNESDAY: Speed Shrinking Book Party and Free Headshrinking. (7:00 PM at Housing Works Bookstore Café – 126 Crosby Street.) Housing Works’ write up about one of my writer teachers: “Celebrate Susan Shapiro’s new novel Speed Shrinking and ’speed date’ with actual mental health pros— while your regular psychiatrist is away for the summer!”

THURSDAY: Gabriel Alegría Afro-Peruvian Sextet (8pm at Tutuma Social Club, 164 E 56th St at Third Ave) Time Out New York says the sextet “grapples with the challenge of jazz harmony and form while delighting in Peruvian lando and festejo rhythms [...] alongside the standard trumpet, tenor sax, bass and drums.” Good music at a great price. Cant’ beat it.

FRIDAY: WINE LIBRARY TV NYC Week Grand Finale and Summer of Social Good after party. “Gary Vaynerchuk performs Wine Library TV live at Roger Smith Hotel Lab Gallery – corner of 47th St & Lexington Ave, NYC. Watch from the street or taste along live!” I adore Gary. This event is not only for a good cause, it looks like fun!

Technorati Tags: cost of living, free, funky brown chick, funkybrownchick, Manhattan, New York City, Twanna A. Hines

August 25th, 2009 | Print This Post | link | Email This Post | [8] folks got down with the Funky Brown

Deeply Penetrating Thoughts About The P3nis

[phone conversation. 8:58pm, Monday, August 24, 2009]

BRO: I have three points to make about your last post.

ME: Uh-oh.

BRO: I’m very disturbed. Do you REALLY think white European dudes aren’t WHITE?!

ME: They’re different. Seriously, ask an Irish person: ‘Are you WHITE?’ And they’ll think you’re kind of racist or whatever. Seriously, in Europe, the idea of “race” smacks of 1930s and 1940s eugenics / Hitler shit. Ethnic groups? Yes. Cultures? Yes. But, they wouldn’t understand and believe in the social construct of “race” in the same way Americans do.

BRO: That’s some mumble-jumbo bullshit. They’re white. Your exes were white.

ME: Whatever. I’ve dated white American guys. It’s not the same.

BRO: Ok. Fine. Whatever. Second point. Did you REALLY expect to see brown people on deviantART?

ME: Yes. I think black people should do whatever kind of art we want too.

BRO: That’s not the point. It’s just not what we do. It’s not that we shouldn’t or we can’t. It’s just, you know, most of us just don’t.

ME: Whatever. I’m on deviantART.

BRO: I’m just saying … MOST black people aren’t. Look at their site. They don’t have pictures of black people.

ME: That’s because there’s a bunch of stupid shit people believe about what’s “appropriate” for different people. It’s clannish and everybody deals with that in some way or other. People say “Asians don’t do blah blah blah” or “South Side Irish in Chicago shouldn’t do blah blah blah.”

BRO: Whatever. I’m just saying.

ME: Anyway. Whatever. You said you had a third point?

BRO: Okay, so, I read your post. So, do you mean to tell me — the next time I come to your house — there’s gonna be “The Peen” looking at me while I’m peeing? That’s gross. I mean, imagine: You’re in the bathroom and there are penises everywhere just looking at you!?!? There’s like a third eye thing just staring at you?!?! That’s weird!!! My pee might get scared of that and go back in my body.

ME: Whatever.

Technorati Tags: funky brown chick, funkybrownchick, genita, genital, sex organs, Twanna A. Hines

August 24th, 2009 | Print This Post | link | Email This Post | [21] folks got down with the Funky Brown