How I Selected The Photos (Matchmaker, Online Dating)
Yesterday, Simone Grant and I met up w/ each other in Midtown West. (She’s on Twitter, so am I if you want to follow.) We started telling each other New York online dating horror stories. We’ve both gone on dates with dudes who looked SIGNIFICANTLY different from their online dating profiles. “I once wrote about that in my Nerve column,” I told her. “I think I titled the piece ‘Truth in Advertising’ or whatever and the first line was something like, ‘You should look like your fucking picture!!!’” We laughed and giggled about men who show up and are virtually unrecognizable from the images they post online. Sticking with the topic, I figured I’d write about online dating profile pics on Funky Brown Chick today because I recently forwarded my matchmaker a few photos. Here’s the the inside scoop on why I selected the pictures I did:
This is what I look like when I wake early on a Saturday morning to meet Rachel for cupcakes at Billy’s Bakery. I’m not wearing any makeup and I didn’t curl my hair. It’s an au natural snapshot taken within the last year or so. Managing expectations, you know? I’m not high maintenance. If a guy is turned off by the photo above, he probably won’t like looking at me in real life either. If he thinks the photo is cute, he’ll probably think I’m cute in person, too.
That said, yes, I often wear make up and curl my hair. When I do, I look like this photo. Given I’m likely to do that whole “woman grooming” stuff for the first date, it’s likely I’ll look like this when my Matchmaker’s pick(s) meet me.
I like to wear dresses.
A lot. Like, you know, all the time. Really, I do.
Seriously, I only own 2 – 3 pairs of jeans and 1 pair of pants. If you’ve met me or if you scroll through my Flickr photos, you’d be hard-pressed to remember me wearing anything much else than a skirt or dress on regular occasions. Plus, because the final three pics above are recent full body shots (no photoshop, taken within the past three months), the guy will get an idea of my height-weight proportions. No wonder when Funky Brown Chick readers meet me in person, they often say, “Wow, you look exactly like your pictures.” So, there you have it! I think the Matchmaker is forwarding my images to guys within the next week or so. I’ll keep you posted :)
August 5th, 2009 at 11:49 am
Oooooh weeee and HOTDAMN! I’m the first to comment on this blog and rightfully so, ty very much! It’s my bday and I’ll blog if I want to, blog if I want to….. you know the rest.
@ Funky. I want to go all out and be the first to say what you’ve done here is ROCK ON AWESOME! (and BRAVE!)
Now I’m not calling you out on these pictures whatsoever (you’re photogenic and have a beautiful smile), but gurlllll you know most women WOULD NEVER EVER POST A PICTURE OF US IN THE MORNING TIME as a profile photo, or at least nothing this semi-vain Leo woman *heehee*. But, you, however, are one of the are a real woman and I’m glad to say I’ve found your REAL ASS blog site. This picture speaks in volumes about you and I can dig this. At least now you’ll be able to sort out the losers from the winners, or at least the potentials because of the ala’ naturale photo you decided to use.
I say F ‘em if they can’t take a joke anyway! LOL! You’re a diamond in the ruff and one for Big Mama to meet! Big ups to you for being a woman first and then just a another “pretty face”.
August 5th, 2009 at 11:51 am
Oops upside MY HEAD! I meant *at least NOT THIS semi-vain Leo woman*
Then… * are one of the real women*
FOrgive me… I’ll get all excited about my replies and get confuzzled.
August 5th, 2009 at 9:15 pm
hi fbc,
well, i dated FIFTY-SEVEN MEN (in almost 3 years), 56 of whom were met online.
The man i’m with now (we’re about to have our 3-months anniversary) was #55 and we met on match dot com.
you should read in my blog about the THREE matchmakers i visited:
go to http://sexagenarian07.wordpress.com and
look in the archives for
mimi goes to the matchmaker may 1, 2007
and
mimi visits 2 more matchmakers may 9, 2007
i finally realized (after spending far too much money on nothing..) that the kind of man i wanted to meet was not the kind of man who would go to a matchmaker!
he would be more free-spirited and eccentric…
anyway, i’m in love with ‘Funny Guy’ and he with me, and really, i think
match dot com is the best source — you just have to screen very very carefully.
and if you don’t — well then, you’ve got more material for yr blog.
good luck to you! i’m eager to read more.
xx mimi
August 6th, 2009 at 12:11 am
i just want to say good luck and i’m looking forward to reading about your matchmaker adventures…
btw, your legs look really great in that photo of you sitting on the bench…:)
August 6th, 2009 at 2:21 am
ahem….. you’re a stone killer….. this is your Wave…… your rig’s a 9 and all do wig ’cause
of the long board and your… stature … well … ya be rollin’ heavy and it’s soooo cool to see
a sistah shine…… ride this beautiful wave to your heart’s content…. just dont lose your
” Eye of the Tiger ” spyder sense ……. K
lamesabassman…….. hang on….. it does get better……
August 6th, 2009 at 12:37 pm
I love the photo of you in the park wearing the dress and just looking so happy. It’s sexy but in an understated way. And I’m SO with you on the dresses/skirts. You know I don’t feel well or am having a bad day (or, okay, there’s a snowstorm), if I’m in jeans.
This post reminds me…we need to hit up Billy’s again soon!
August 6th, 2009 at 1:49 pm
Twanna, you are working that last phone! That color pops against your skin! Chocolate chics betta stand up!!
August 6th, 2009 at 1:49 pm
I mean last photo…LMAO
August 6th, 2009 at 3:40 pm
Kudos to you!
I absolutely believe in straight-up ME-ness.
I haven’t had the experience of someone looking completely unlike their profile photo, and for that I am grateful. All photos I use in online profiles are unvarnished real-deal stuff.
I firmly believe you find the level of honesty and sincerity you throw before you as you walk through life, and the example you are setting is an excellent one for any potential made.
Peace
Mollena
August 6th, 2009 at 11:26 pm
“Matchmaker’s pick(s)”?
Plural? That would be a heck of a first date.
August 7th, 2009 at 5:03 am
but…. would be a date to remember….. eh, Mr. D ………
lamesabassman……. boy howdy…….
August 7th, 2009 at 12:39 pm
I like all of the pics, but here’s my rundown
1. I love the fact that you can go out naked ( sans makeup). Finding a woman that is both beautiful without makeup and also confident enough to go out without it is a rare find indeed. But sweety, saturday mornings are for 2 things….. cartoons or eating cakes in the confines of my bedroom…..and I don’t mean the kind that come with frosting…although adding frosting definately makes for a fun morning. But I digress.
2. The Smile and the curls are fantastic
3. This shows you have a sense of style ( the dress) It looks wonderful on you.
4. I love this pic.. It says “possibilities” like cooling out at a concert in the park, or maybe going to the shore and watching the waves roll in. You have this look on your face like ” I’m waiting for us to have some fun…lets have fun NOW”
5. Dinner party/ nightclub ready…..versatility is always a plus.
August 8th, 2009 at 10:54 am
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August 9th, 2009 at 12:25 am
You look gorgeous, Lady! Work it!
August 10th, 2009 at 1:04 pm
**LovEMufinS**: Thanks! :)
mimi: I love your blog. And, believe it or not, I’ve actually tried Match.com before. No complaints. When I lived in Chicago, I met an interesting guy via the site. We’re still in (platonic) contact.
letinstar: Thanks! My friend Florian took that picture at the tiny park near the United Nations near 40th and the water. Great view over there.
lamesabassman: Thanks
Rachel Kramer Bussel: Let’s go to the one downtown; it’s better than the Billy’s on 21st. :)
WonderLove: I like the color, too!!
Mollena: Girl, you’re LUCKY you haven’t had that awkward “Who Is This Stranger” moment. :) And, yes, I’m sooo with you on the “what you give is what you get” stuff when it comes to life.
Baba Doodlius: If there’s more than once guy, I’d go on consecutive dates instead of meeting them all for coffee at the same time. That would be weird. :)
dkzone: Thanks for the details response! :)
Rochelle: Awww :) We missed you out the other night. Come with us next time!! :)
August 11th, 2009 at 1:25 pm
It wouldn’t be weird, it would be a reality TV show.
August 14th, 2009 at 10:40 am
You look beautiful in every picture, I think. I’m sure there will be many guys who will love those pictures as well. I look forward to reading about what happens next.
August 17th, 2009 at 7:47 am
Baba: Indeed, you’re right! :)
Puma73: Thank you :)
August 20th, 2009 at 11:57 am
all the pics are nice. you’re beauty is natural and you look sooo young in the first pic.
August 21st, 2009 at 1:18 am
Thanks :)