I rarely write about religion on my blog because I’m not particularly interested in watching right-wing fundamentalists and atheists to go at each other in my comments section. Pointless bickering isn’t my thing. Having said that … I’m writing about my church today. I don’t often go because, quite frankly, they make it so easy for me to avoid the building. If I want to hear a sermon, I can read it online, watch it on TV, listen on the radio, download the video or audio podcast or check it out on YouTube. Why make the trip to 29th St when my church’s 2.0 efforts allow me to get my prayer, meditation and spirituality on in my underwear while in the comfort of my own home?
I only decided to church in person because: (1) Pam encouraged me; (2) there was always the slim chance I might discover the man of my dreams sitting in the pew next to me; and (3) it seemed like the right thing to do. I’m glad I did because the minister made the point: Sometimes we neglect to make changes in our lives because we’re too “used to” and comfortable with where we are. Then he gave a few reasons why we might fear letting go of prejudices, relationships, people, jobs or other negative things that rob us of our joy. The lesson was: Shake it off. Wash it off. Get rid of what no longer works.
Although it’s not my favorite quality, I’m a worrier. I need to let that go. I worry my friends will all go the traditional route (marriage & kids) and we’ll grow apart and I’ll be lonely. I sometimes fear living in New York will eventually bankrupt me, and I won’t have any money saved for retirement. And, I worry men here won’t find me attractive as I get older because I’m not high maintenance enough to do botox, surgery, daily make-up applications or other bullshit stuff women do to be “beautiful.” Ridiculous, I know. But, these are the random thoughts that enter my head when I’m on my own — you know, the kind of stuff I don’t bring up publicly when I’m out for a beer with friends because I’m afraid I’ll sound silly. (I can write it here because, quite frankly, I type out my posts as if no one will ever read them. It allows me to be more honest.) Anyway. Karma, G-d, Allah, Buddha, The Universe or whatever. Doesn’t matter; they all pretty much say the same thing: Worry is futile. “Don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” (That’s the Bible.) “Worrying is simply praying for what I don’t want. Who wants that??” (Sati instructor Darbi Worley). Worry is like acting as a child who fears the monster under their mattress. The only way to face it is to climb down and look under the bed. If there is a monster, fucking slay it. If there isn’t one, you’ll know the fear was for naught. In either case, get on with your life. (I’m very loosely paraphrasing a message from Patricia Moreno’s Sati Life “I love my body” Warrior Body Facebook community.) So, yeah, I’m making an honest effort to stop worrying about my future. By the way, if you’re in New York, I HIGHLY recommend Darbi Worley‘s 6:45 a.m. Intensati classes in Washington Square Park. Very inspirational. Not much else to say. Just needed to get the “worry” stuff off my chest.
{ 11 comments… read them below or add one }
Sometimes it does happen. All those things we worry about. Sometimes we just have to learn to let it go. Let go and let live.
I don’t think worrying is so bad.
Worrying about little day to day things doesn’t burden me that much, but it keeps my memory active. If I’m worried that I’ll forget to do something, or be late for something, chances are I am going to remember and I’m going to be on time.
In the longer term, worry is a valuable tool for motivating change. If you’re worried that your skills are becoming obsolete, for instance, you’re more likely to take evening classes in your free time, and thus possibly change your situation in a few years. I can honestly say that my biggest accomplishments were things I did because I was worried about the consequences of not doing them.
Then there are the other worries, about things which are completely out of your control, such as illness or death. Dwelling on these subjects is probably a bad idea, but it doesn’t hurt to remember the inevitable future to keep daily life in perspective. These sorts of worries can actually reduce how seriously you take the small worries.
I probably worry way more than the average guy. Like I have a personal packmule loaded down with the crap I worry about and carry around with me. BUt at the end of the day I know that I have to “keep going” …..so I just keep going. I get up by swinging my legs off the side of the bed and ” getting on with it” . I do this because if I don’t I’ll lay there, in my bed, buried under it all.
depression sux…so I carry around a smile with me…
I help others with thier issues….and mine seem less daunting that way.
Each day I look at you and read the tidbits of your life and think to myself…My God!! She leads the most amazing life.
You remind me of that little boutique, with a 10ft wide storefront, down some less than traveled street. You walk in and find it’s loaded with treasures and wonderous things. I have to believe that some day someone will walk down that street and discover you…..
That is my hope, for you.
The best part about church (or temple, mosque, or whatever) is that is forces you to think about somethings that you normally wont. Worrying is a horrible problem to have, I know from personal experience and tend to worry about all kinds of random stuff.
It’s good that you recognize that it’s a problem. It’s gonna take you actively monitoring your thoughts to get control over it; but once you do…
I’m glad you’re getting it under control…
the gospel according to Alfred E Newman: ” What …. Me Worry….” botox…. you …. I dont
think so…. you look 2 good to even entertain such thoughts….. but God thoughts….. yeah,
you just might want to be in one accord with the Big Guy…… He does call the shots…. and
for all we know …. the movie ” Dogma” just might be on point on with just who is the ” Big
Guy”….. me…. I stay on one with One and on the One at all times….. stuff happens….
and since He/She was once a regular person …. well, everybody falls … ya just should know
when to rise above and rock on….
and yes, NYC can … could and will ( if you let Her ) break your wallet if you are not on point
with yourself…. been there….. and survived…. just remember….. once you realize your
limitations…..
lamesabassman….. your possibilities are….. endless…..
OK, here goes:
“There is no god!”
“Repent ye blasphemer!”
Does that satisfy the Clash of Ideologies that you thought might happen?
I am a worrier too. I don’t take risks. I worry too much. I always have what ifs and if only. But this is life. There are great topics like this one on http://www.energytalkradio.com and donate 30% to charity just by listening. Check them out!
Keyona: “Let go and let live.” So true.
A: You make a lot of good points and I like your attitude. One of my ex-boytoys, the French Canadian one, shared your mindset. Basically: look at “negative” personality traits as a strength. I’m super impatient. But, the flipside of that is that I don’t never stayed in bad jobs, relationships, etc. too long. I don’t suffer well and I don’t like to suffer long. So the worry + impatience = I’m motived to make constant tweaks and changes in my life to make sure I’m going after what I want. Granted, I might not ALWAYS know what I want at any given moment, but I try.
dkzone: That was beautiful. :)
DJ Ed Nice: Thanks!
lamesabassman: I like the “once you realize your limitations, your possibilities are endless” stuff.
Baba Doodlius: Indeed it does :)
energytalkradio: Risk and worry might not be related. I’m a risk-taker, but that doesn’t mean I don’t worry. Can’t remember the exact quote but it’s something like “bravery is action despite your fears.” Trust me, they’re still there; I just ignore them, move a head and worry later (if not throughout).
I thought I was laidback but I have realized that it’s not always the case. I worry more than I should about things I can’t really change and I let a lot of things compile.
Interesting post and made me think about my own spirituality and where I stand to learn and grown on it.
Cynthia: Glad you like the post :)
Interesting article. Were did you receive all the info from… :)