Sexual frustration is the tension, anxiety and anticipation building up to a lascivious event. Sometimes, sitting at a restaurant’s table, smiling at the person across the way, kissing, touching, flirting and the other heart-thumping moments are almost as vivid as the real deal. Or, to state it different by quoting a friend from dinner the other night: “Good sexual tension is better than bad sex.” Curious to snoop my friends’ opinions, over dinner with four friends the other night, I posed the question: “Who thinks sexual tension is sometimes better than sex?” Interestingly, all the women rose their hands. The men laughed. The guys made jokes about “blue balls” and one yelled out “cock tease!” Naturally, I wonder if the male / female divide on the “sexual tension vs. sex” question — albeit an incredibly small sample of friends — is the same among people who read my site. So, tell me your impressions: “Is sexual tension sometimes better than sex?”
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Credit paid: Image by Ivan Prole
{ 18 comments… read them below or add one }
Sexual tension is so much better than sex. I think it has to do with the mystery and uncertainty of wondering whether or not someone wants you as much as you want them. It’s thrilling, like your first crush, and the flirting and attempting to read signals and gossiping to your girlfriends about it (or sometimes keeping it a secret). I’m getting excited just thinking about it.
This may sound weird coming from a man, but I love sexual tension.. I love to tease and be teased while in the act.. I also very much so enjoy foreplay… Lawd have mercy foreplay.
Sure, sexual tension is fun, but it does not beat the real good ol’ wokka-wokka.
If you think sexual tension is better than sex, you aren’t doing sex right.
It was this very hot guy and we had an intense flirtation thing going on for months. My loins would throb every time I’d see him. Lol anyway I didn’t sleep with him on purpose HE WAS BETTER as my fantasy. Something told me this so I followed my first mind. And that’s my story sometimes sexual tension is best than the real thing hehe.
Amina: YEP! That thrill feels sooo nice. :)
Eric: :)
Baba Doodlius: Good wokka-wokka feels great :)
Horton: Oooh, or you could play devil’s advocate and turn that around to say: “If you think sex is always better than sexual tension, you aren’t doing foreplay & seduction right.” ;)
Mikowrites: I’ve had situations like that, too. Hmmm, just thinking: “Have I ever had HORRIBLE sexual tension that led to GREAT sex?” Nope. Not sure it works the other way around.
Now wait, didn’t know were talking foreplay too……
I think that the sexual tension is sex in a sense, you are already having sex with that person in your mind anyway, so its kinda like mental sex. But I love the tension and seeing is she taste as good as she look, or if she can ride me like a horse, yes sexual tensin is underrated
this may be a dumb question, but does sexual tension have to be mutual, as in both parties are attracted to each other? or can, for example, a woman be attracted to a man who is only sees her as a friend…creating a tense situation for the woman?
I HATE sexual tension. Really, it just drives me insane. Makes it hard to think. Then again, I’m not a window shopper. If I can’t have it, I don’t want to look at it. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I like a little build up – but I have to be certain I’m going to get it – and soon. I hate dragging things out.
Also, I think sexual tension can make average sex REALLY bad. You know, the tension is building for so long that you expect the sex to be mind-blowing and when it turns out to just be average, it’s such a HUGE disappointment that it makes it seem like the sex is awful. Without the tension it would have been so much better.
I’ve been in situations where I’ve told men that dragging it out like that bodes badly for them because they’ll never be able to live up to the anticipation they’re creating – and they almost never do.
yes….. for it makes the end game more fun…..
lamesabassman….. if you believe in the hereafter… then, you know what I’m here.. after…
Horton: Hmmm, I guess that’s debatable. Sexual tension could include foreplay or not depending on your perspective.
bwill: Ooh, another vote for sexual tension. :)
mydria: I’ve TOTALLY felt unrequited tension with dudes.
3b: That’s a VERY good analogy about window shopping. You’re hinting at “sexual tension vs. teasing.”
lamesabassman: :)
It can be. Like there’s nothing worse than flirting with a chick and then you kiss her and its the ” whackness….ooozing whackosity all over your face……” Or you find out her aproach to giving head is ” TEETH…..lots of TEETH” or her list of “don’ts” leaves you with only having sex in one whackass way, that doesn’t get you off at all……
good one, dkzone…… teeth are no fun….. but on a real tip…. once dated a lady that was able to remove her teeth before she went bobbing…. yeah, that went thru my mind 2, G
but….. about after 5 sec. ….
lamesabassman….. I could’nt remember a thing…. square biz…. it was hellacool….
This is a great question. This is a great Web Site, too! I just started following you not too long ago. Anywho, is sexual tension better than sex?” I wish I knew the answer!
I am in the middle of something at work, I believe it is mutual but not 100% sure, but it sure feels like it is. It has been going on for over a year. She is like my full time fantasy and I guess I like it like that. She is also unavailable so it really doesn’t matter what I think.
When we are in a room alone together there is no place I would rather be but the tension is a bit much at times – too much actually. There are times when I would just rather avoid her (and I do) so I don’t have to deal with it.
lamesabassman and dkzone: Teeth?
Jazzie: Sexual tension can be intense.
Sexual tension can not only be a great prelude to sex, but can be pretty intense when sex is not an option. I am married male and exchanged subtle flirts with a married female coworker for an extended period. While there was no way we could ever hook up, the teasing and flirting got us both aroused. It was unforced and could sometimes be a week or two between interludes.
It was such a turn on to me to know i could get her so wet and horny.
Hey! Wait a minute! What does the wife of office flirt and the husband of office flirtee think about this TOTALLY hot interoffice tension?? Cerebrus’ mental screwing of his co-worker might make his wife feel a bit cheated or at least unappreciated… Shouldn’t he be stirring up tension with the old lady?