That is the exact conflict within oneself that I speak of. What are morals when it does not feel wrong? Consenting adults are responsible for their individual choices; who are we, as adults, humans, individuals to judge others for their choices? The problem is, after once depending on how each of you feels, it might happen again.

In my experience, when something feels wrong, it must be wrong. However, if it does not feel wrong then why is it wrong? For example, we might do something that feels right but another person’s morals says it is wrong, 100%. How does that make it wrong? Simply because one individual says it is wrong does not make it wrong. One might say we are toying with the Id, a Freudian belief that we feed our primal needs and urges. Maybe this is the case, but if it is, why is it wrong? As infants we are driven solely by the Id. Yes, our superego develops and it tries to govern our choices and kick the guilt in… Sometimes it fails, or it simply does not feel the situation is wrong.

The only thing I can say is be careful with a “one time” ordeal.. Sometimes they stay as a one time ordeal but other times they carry on, involving more than simply sex. This is when it can be dangerous to everyone involved.

I am no saint, and I am not the best to give advice, as you can tell from other people’s responses to me, however; we only live once, why fight something like that and live with the “what if’s” that might follow. Enjoy yourself, be safe, courteous, and conscientious of yourself and the other party. Live your life. Follow your heart, your soul, your mind… Do so with conscientiousness. :)

As for the life you had to grow up in, I am very sorry. I can only imagine how hard that must have been. I grew up in a home of love for the first few years. Then my mother went off the deep end, choosing to stay out partying, sleeping around, and doing drugs. My mother’s lifestyle resulted in my having to grow up and parent my infant sister, and a divorce for my parents. So, I can sort of empathize with your childhood.

As far as people thinking I, or any other woman/man who sleeps with others is skanky, more power to them. I am not worried about what others think of me, they likely aren’t either. Believe me when I tell you I am trying to figure out WTF happened to my morals and why I choose to go down this path of not caring. It feels like a self-destructive war path. I came to this forum looking for anyone who has issues similar to mine. I am sure the answers will one day come. However, in the mean time, I will be safe and discreet with what I choose to do.

I have not an issue admitting when I am wrong but when things do not feel wrong there has to be a problem, right? How does one rationalize and make sense of something to others when it doesn’t even make sense to themselves?

As far as being some “pussy on the side” do you think that bothers me, or any other woman who willing has sex with a married person? Sadly, it does not, and unless the woman has some vendetta against the wife, I do not believe it is about hurting them. Sometimes things happen, it is what it is.. It is a part of life.

You are absolutely correct that the woman has control of the situation, 100%. However, if the man isn’t trying to get it, or doesn’t want it, then it won’t happen. So again, blame the woman, that is fine. It is a man’s world but how long will that last? Only time will tell.

Single, not single, involved, married, separated, what difference does it make? You throw your insults and comments around, but if you read in my post, I fully take blame for what I have done and may do again. I am part of the problem with society. The simple fact of the matter is regardless of how someone might feel about things, it does not change the circumstances.

In my experience, 99% of all relationships are lies, based on lies, or simple shows for one’s religious beliefs; the reality of it is, people are not happy but do nothing to change it. Sorry if my post offended you, as it clearly did, the question was about morals in general, not about my own morals or about what I may choose to or not to do with my body, time, and sexuality. Thank you for the reply though. :)

Not all relationships are lies. Many are, but not all. I guess I’m more optimistic than you are. Women always take the blame for one simple reason: this is a man’s world. They make the rules and it’s their privilege to be able to exercise their sexuality how they deem fit and vto their benefit. That’s just the way it is. To my way of thinking the woman that cheats with the married man is just as much to blame as he is. She is complicit in hurting the other woman. But from the wife’s perspective, the husband deserves more of her anger, rarely is all the anger directed at him. Certainly though the other woman deserves equal blame. Extramarital sex simply does not happen without the woman’s say so. Consensual sex is decided always by the woman and women know this.

Your comment about single men not initiating sex is just an excuse. You throw sex in any man’s face and he’s going to take it. So that’s a bunch of BS you’re talking. Single men are always running around hard up for some nookie. Ninety nine point nine percent of their waking thoughts are about how they can get laid. You’re just a filthy cum dumpster for immoral men who want some pussy on the side. You are being used.

In the last year and a half, I was left for another woman, my son’s father cheated on me and left us for another woman. It tore me up inside, it hurt, but it also darkened and dulled my morals. I think I have few morals left to speak of when it comes to sleeping with married men. I do not initiate it, I refuse them, and question their motives, and eventually it just seems to lead to sex.

The first one constantly made sexual remarks, it went on for months with the remarks and me reminding him he was married. Months down the road, we had sex. He told his wife, she stayed with him, and she hates me. Oh well. Her choice to stay with someone who was so willing to cheat on her not even a year into the marriage.

The second one says he is trying to be happy but can’t, feels he is locked into a marriage, and she openly acknowledges that as fact. I kept telling him he is married and yet it still led to sex. Great sex.

Now, the real question here is this: would I do it again? Yes. It was the most passionate, frenzied, fulfilling sex of my life. Plain and simple, I don’t want a relationship, I think they are lies, I just want sex. Sadly, it seems like it is only the married men who want sex. Single men do not seem to flirt with, initiate, or even propose the idea of sex. Who am I to refuse what I want and what they obviously want? I understand the hurt that being cheated on and left can cause, believe me how I understand, but I also understand that as a woman, one should have the self-worth to red-flag a cheater and get the f*** out.

Do I think any kind of relationship would come of sleeping with a married man? No, they are cheaters… Does it make me feel bad that I have slept with a married man, or two, or three? No. The only thing that makes me feel bad is that I no longer feel bad about it. For all the talk of the downfall of society that I do, I am part of the cause.

I wish fully that I understood why I do not care anymore, when at one point in my life I was adamantly against it, but I do not. Morals change as times change, I am not committed to anyone, and nor are they apparently. My questions to all you avid readers and commentators is this:

How do you explain attraction or morals? What makes something moral on a whole global level? There are plenty of norms in other societies that say it is okay to sleep around, if you are a man, but as a woman, it is death worthy. Why do women always take the blame? How can you decide if something is moral for another human being or not, morals are not laws, and they differ from person to person.