Inside My NYC Apartment: A Picture Is Worth 1,000 Words
I recently wrote about my teeny-tiny New York City apartment. In case you’re into house porn, here’s a little voyeuristic peek at one of my favorite things inside my home. (Yeah, yeah. Ignore all the shit in the background. The snapshot was taken months ago when I still moving in, packing things away and cleaning up. I’m still messy at times, but I’m not this bad.)
In 1992, I sculpted the object above from a hunk of clay, fired it in a kiln and covered it in tinted glaze. As a little girl, I dreamed of being a writer, dancer, world traveler or painter. However, with age, somewhere along the way I began to believe what everyone around me was saying: “growing up” meant choosing things simply because they’re “practical” (read: financially rewarding). I started the first 5 – 6 years of my career working well-paid, prestigious and safe jobs in international affairs. It felt good to support myself and, if I’m honest, impress others with fancy gigs.
When people asked, “So, what do you do?” I boasted: “I work at the American Embassy.” My verbal back pat probably sounded smug and annoying. But, inside, I felt like I was suffocating by following the crowd, doing what I was supposed to do, and behaving in ways I thought others would deem appropriate or impressive. Long story short: September 11 triggered an internal existential crisis that reminded me life moves pretty fast and you never know when your road will run out. It suddenly seemed kind of stupid to do jobs just because I thought others would like them. I wanted to do stuff I liked.
Everyone is wired the way they are for whatever reasons. Words, art and images inspire me more than money. So, I returned to the U.S. to pursue creative endeavors that yielded far less cash, yet were more emotionally fulfilling and rewarding. But, first, making the switch meant I had to become more comfortable with who I was. One of my favorite Pablo Picasso quotes is: “Every child is an artist. The problem is how to remain an artist once [one] grows up.” In 2002 — coincidentally, almost exactly a decade after fashioning the artistic piece above from clay — I came back to the U.S. and eventually moved to New York, finally embarking on my childhood dream of becoming a writer. My company/brand name, FUNKY BROWN CHICK®, reminds me to be true to myself . It’s okay to be funky. I’m comfortable inside my brown skin. I like being a chick.
Harking back to the beginning of this post, my 459 sq. ft apartment isn’t large; I can observe almost everything in it regardless where I’m standing. So, I see the pottery above several times a day. It’s not worth much nor it is the most beautiful piece of art ever made, but it makes me happy. To me, that’s priceless.
October 14th, 2009 at 1:14 pm
If you publish anything like this again… i’m going to kick your blank! I’m at work crying… thank you. This post was touching. You talked about dreams, true self, how to, and why. We need that in the middle of today…hump day! For that girl… thank you! You made me think about me and Miko’s life.
:)
October 14th, 2009 at 2:05 pm
That looks a lot better than any of my childhood pottery attempts.
This post reminded me of two things.
First, the idea of taking one job and doing that for the rest of your life is no longer so popular, with good reason. Many people have a lot of interests, and dedicating yourself to just one seems like a loss. Furthermore, burnout or a change in life circumstances can make your initial career unappealing. Of course we will always need experts who have spent a lifetime learning one thing, but we also need people with interdisciplinary skills to breathe new life into professions, and that’s something which is becoming more appreciated. The idea of doing what you want to do is also being reconsidered. Imagine what the world would be like if the majority of people were engaged in worthwhile work which inspired them. Quite a different place, I imagine.
Second, your apartment is small and you can’t have that many things in it, so you take care in choosing what it contains. I noticed that with your mirror, and again with your jar. It’s nice to have a reminder that a few things, well-chosen, can be better than a whole lot of things (except when it comes to kitchen equipment ;). As a student I’ve had to change my purchasing habits from “lots of cheap junk” to “a little bit of cheap junk” but I hope that once I’m working again I’ll opt for “a little bit of well-made, useful, and beautiful stuff.” In particular I want to do that with clothing, moving from buying ill-fitting mass-produced cheap goods to custom-crafted apparel. Again, this is a trend, as you can see from sites like etsy and the maker’s movement, but this is one time I don’t mind following what’s popular.
Anyhow, I hope you’ll continue to remind me of these things that I know but don’t always think about.
October 14th, 2009 at 2:27 pm
Awesome post! I’m currently getting rid of stuff to purge these unwanted things that I thought would make me want to settle and be happy out of my life and just doing what feels right to me. Your apartment is lovely, the pot is gorgeous and I love to see people who are living life on their terms because it seems so many people don’t do that.
I will be joining your ranks sooner than expected. I’m scared but I can’t wait. :)
October 14th, 2009 at 4:07 pm
Love this post.
That Picasso quote really puts things in a different light. I too was an artist when I was younger, I painted and played an instrument. I wrote fiction when I was a teen. When I got to college, though, my artistic self got essentially muscled out by the need to pursue a safe career. Ironically, I’ve made it all the way to med school- where I hope I can use my degree to do good–but wondering if I had found more fulfillment by following through with writing. Hindsight is always 20/20 though! I’m trying to keep up writing through my own blog.
I think in the end, what we all want is happiness. Everyone finds out, sooner or later, that money doesn’t buy it.
October 14th, 2009 at 4:12 pm
I’m so happy you wrote this and I’m kind of going through though this kind of thing now. I’ve always had a problem telling people that I’m an artist because I’m worried that they’re going to think that I’m immature for not taking a more professional career path.
Because I’m in my early 20’s I always have people telling me about how they use to feel the same way until they realized that not following their hearts made them miserable, but I still have reservations. I always worry about whether or not I will be able to make enough money doing the things that I love, but thanks to your post today I don’t feel so alone in my feelings. I don’t need to make tons of money making art, the payment is in the feelings of contentment and true happiness from following your dream.
Thank You so much!
October 14th, 2009 at 10:29 pm
It’s amazing how similar our stories are, even down to the international affairs (I have 2 degrees in International Affairs)!
Looking back I think the problem is that no one ever stops to point out that “Success” is completely subjective. After grad school I got the 6-figure salary and the fabulous house and found myself miserable. I was not even able to pat myself in the back. I would cringe whenever someone asked me what I did or where I lived because I would inevitably feel like a fraud. In the end I realized that my definition of success included 1st and foremost doing something I loved. So, I said screw it all and started my own company (Lead To Empower, Inc). I applaud your courage and urge you to rock on and keep on keeping on.
Pink
October 15th, 2009 at 4:13 am
how did you get pixs of my digs…. smile…. ‘Tis very chic…. the piece of artwork is very Mayan in thought…. were you sitting in the library on rainy days checkin the art of olde days
ever make some more…. or thought about it
lamesabassman…. and where’s the puppy space….. gotta see where da puppy hangs it’s bone…. no pun intended…..
October 15th, 2009 at 4:15 am
cool lic plate ….. Chi-town…..
lamesabassman….. Si…
October 15th, 2009 at 8:08 am
Miko Holt: Glad you liked it. Can’t promise I won’t write more stuff like this in the future. :)
A: GREAT comment, as usual.
Cynthia: Purging can be really cathartic! And, I’d guess fear can be a good thing, right? If you aren’t ever afraid of your choices, it probably means you’re not taking risks, no?
Sultana: You said, “I think in the end, what we all want is happiness. Everyone finds out, sooner or later, that money doesn’t buy it.” BEAUTIFULLY STATED :)
Amina: Immature? What could be more MATURE that investing the time and energy to find out what you love and following it? :) At the same time, I want to be sure I’m not encouraging blind optimism. Yes. Follow your dreams. Yes. Be happy. But, I’ll add this: Unless you have a wealthy family, sugardaddy or other benefactor, be sure to collect transferable, marketable skills along the way. New York certainly has it’s share of 30, 40 and 50-something waitstaff / actors who don’t know how to type well or use Excel. As a general rule, I think it’s good to be strong in more than one thing. In my case, I used to come down hard on myself for not going straight into writing — though, I’ve come to appreciate the skills I built up in the meantime. Hell, I guess even my writing skills would be weaker had I not experienced a great deal of “life stuff” first. In my mind, my favorite pieces — whether penned by me or someone else — do more than string sentences together; they convey a sense of purpose, emotion, experience or whatever. Same with painting, acting and other arts.
Pink_Thursday Says:
October 14th, 2009 at 10:29 pm edit
It’s amazing how similar our stories are, even down to the international affairs (I have 2 degrees in International Affairs)!
Looking back I think the problem is that no one ever stops to point out that “Success” is completely subjective. After grad school I got the 6-figure salary and the fabulous house and found myself miserable. I was not even able to pat myself in the back. I would cringe whenever someone asked me what I did or where I lived because I would inevitably feel like a fraud. In the end I realized that my definition of success included 1st and foremost doing something I loved. So, I said screw it all and started my own company (Lead To Empower, Inc). I applaud your courage and urge you to rock on and keep on keeping on.
Pink
lamesabassman…… Says:
October 15th, 2009 at 4:13 am edit
how did you get pixs of my digs…. smile…. ‘Tis very chic…. the piece of artwork is very Mayan in thought…. were you sitting in the library on rainy days checkin the art of olde days
ever make some more…. or thought about it
lamesabassman…. and where’s the puppy space….. gotta see where da puppy hangs it’s bone…. no pun intended…..
lamesabassman…… Says:
October 15th, 2009 at 4:15 am edit
cool lic plate ….. Chi-town…..
lamesabassman….. Si…
October 15th, 2009 at 8:12 am
Pink_Thursday: VERY GOOD POINT! :) “Success” is very subjective. THANK YOU for the encouragement! :) And, kudos to you for walking toward something you love!!
lamesabassman: Good eye! Yes, those are my original license plates. I’ve had them since I was 16 years old.
October 15th, 2009 at 2:10 pm
I feel you on this one. Spent 9 long yrs in the Air Force and while I never had to worry bout money or anything, I wasn’t happy. ,ow that I’ve been out, I may struggle some but I’m doing what I want to do. I would much rather struggle and enjoy what I do than makes all the money in the world and be unhappy
October 15th, 2009 at 2:37 pm
Very good write! I undertsand where u coming from. I spent 9 yrs in the air force and traveled all over the world. But still felt unfulfilled, but since I’ve been out and doing what I want, much happier, follow your passion love, you deserve all the best…your biggest fan
October 15th, 2009 at 3:03 pm
then frame them puppies….
lamesabassman….. they may be a collector’s thang in the near future…
October 16th, 2009 at 12:21 am
A couple of things:
1) It makes you happy, so it is good.
2) I know where you can get those plates framed. They’d be works of art.
October 19th, 2009 at 10:43 am
bwill: Thanks for the kind words. Couldn’t agree with you more on this: “I would much rather struggle and enjoy what I do than makes all the money in the world and be unhappy.”
lamesabassman and Baba Doodlius: Too cute! You’re not the first people to recommend I do that. I should sooo have them framed. :)
November 29th, 2009 at 2:38 am
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