Um, excuse me? That’s “Miss Skank” to you, my dear! ;) Of course I’m grateful for all my readers; So, thank you for dropping by. That said, I’ll remind you the only Funky Brown Chick “comment policy” is: Be Kind. Disagree with what you see here if you like but, for fuckssake, please be nice to your fellow comment-leavers and be civil to the person — c’est moi, Twanna — who writes the site. If you can’t do that, go play elsewhere.
And, since we’re on the topic of comments, let’s talk about yours. I wrote: I UNKNOWINGLY slept with a married man once. He told me he was single; I thought that was shitty. I also wrote: I’ve never knowingly slept with a married man, even though I’ve been approached and tempted by many. So, yesterday at 8:14 a.m., you read and responded to those words with these thoughts:
“Hypocrite! [...] Men who fuck around on their wives are lying both to their wives and to God. They are running around sinning while only pretending to honour their SACRED vows before God to remain exclusively with their spouse.”
Eww, I don’t like self-righteous finger wagging :( Plus, for what it’s worth, I never said I thought it was cool for men to lie to their wives. Sleeping with someone to whom you aren’t married doesn’t always equal cheating/lying. For example, have you heard of open relationships? In life, each coupling is as uniquely individual as the person(s) who enter(s) it. Some men don’t have affairs, some do. Some men lie about their cheating, some men are more upfront. Back to you.
“I don’t see how lying to you, a person who acts like a skank [...]“
Ahem, sorry to interrupt again, but, as I mentioned, it’s MISS Skank ;) Carry on.
“I don’t see how lying to you, a person who acts like a skank, should be seen as being a worse offense than lying to his wife, the mother of his children, and the keeper of his heart and home. Pray tell, don’t you think you’re going to be lied to if that’s your attitude?”
Regarding “lying” men and me being a “skank,” please see my previous comments. [Points up to earlier paragraphs.]
“You reap what you sew, young lady. You are your own worst enemy”
Oh, sweetie, what’s wrong? Why so much hatred in that little, red, faithful heart built for spreading love? Scratch that question. Here’s a better one: What the hell happened in your life that compelled you to spew such venomous thoughts about my fucking sewing skills?!?!?
Be well. Now, if you’ll excuse me, a bit of skanking awaits me.
Yours,
Funky Brown Chick
{ 36 comments… read them below or add one }
Oh Twann,- you’re such a skank. You should change the name of the site from Funky Brown Chick” to “Skanky McSkankerstein’s House of Skank”.
Amazing how some people think. Just amazing. Glad to see you can laugh it off.
Tell her.
Let me guess, this person probably recently found out that their husband was cheating on them for whatever variety of reasons and since she has neither the spine nor the resources to attack the mistress (indeed, may be afraid to as they’re not sure whether or not they would come out the victor) they attack an easy target: you.
Cowards do that and this person is no less a coward because they evoked that emotional blah-blah of monogamycakes.
‘tever. You rock on wit yo bad-sef, Twanna! (The preceding sentence was intentionally misspelled in my pathetic attempt at being hip. Carry on.)
Nothing in your blog EVER would have made me think “skank.” But even if you were, I’d rather hang out with a skank than a self-righteous judgmental tightass any day of the week.
Skank:
A rhythmic dance performed to reggae or ska music, characterized by bending forward, raising the knees, and extending the hands.
Disgusting or vulgar matter; filth.
One who is disgustingly foul or filthy and often considered sexually promiscuous. Used especially of a woman or girl.
I am going to assume she was using the last definition. I am not going to get into the loaded topic of men OR women having sex with someone outside of their marriage and the various options other than either lying to each other or God, but I will point out that all people don’t vow to God to stay physically or sexually faithful in their marriage. It is implied, and sometimes specifically stated but not always done.
I did however want to come to the funkybrownchick’s defense and say that she is not a skank because she had sex with someone who lied to her and did not disclose his other relationships. If that is the case there are a lot of skanks out there. Men and women. You can only hope, pray, and work on developing a truthful relationship but there are a lot of people out there unwilling to be honest and go to great lengths to hide the truth for various reasons. FunkyBrownChick – not a skank. Pornstar (and it is not place to judge) may fall into the “sexually promiscuous” part of the definition, but typically does not fit the unclean part because the industry is highly regulated and often test their members.
YEAH! the nerve of some people.
I think your open letters are fantastic -
quick silly question did this comment maker happen to be anonymous?
quick silly comment: the internet makes people brave enough to say things they normally wouldn’t have the cajones to say face to face and also makes people think whatever view point they have is valid
just a thought :)
Ummm, I try so hard not to get irritated by stupid people. What she really meant by skank was sexually open. A lot of people are still uncomfortable with sexuality and think it something not to discuss. Commenter obviously has issues, so the best we can do is offer our support and guidance to become as sexually adventurous and liberated as we are. (In lieu of the preferred beatdown!)
Baba Doodlius: Oh, I LOVE it!!! :) Welcome to Skanky McSkankerstein’s House of Skank. How can I skank you?
Nelle: :)
Aspasia: TOTALLY agree. To my knowledge, I’ve never met that person and they don’t know me. So, you’re right, launching an online personal attack was not only an easy target, it was a very cowardly move. It took it for what it was worth: their issue, not mine.
Darkpoole: THANK YOU!! :)
E: Thanks for sharing your thoughts and for saying kind words.
stacie-ann: Yeah, the whole thing was just really weird, random personal attack. Who the hell does that?
Kalyn: OF COURSE it was anonymous. I totally respect people’s right to privacy. That’s said, rights have responsibilities attached. Writing a personal attack under a phoney name is a total dick move: Greater Internet Fuckwad Theory.
Kali: Oh, you said a mouthful when you said: “A lot of people are still uncomfortable with sexuality and think it something not to discuss.” SO TRUE! And, how much do I LOVE you for making this statement: “Commenter obviously has issues, so the best we can do is offer our support and guidance to become as sexually adventurous and liberated as we are. (In lieu of the preferred beatdown!)” ROCK!
Gurl, I would not have wasted any time responding to the holy roller. You didn’t know the dude was married.
This psycho musta had her husband cheat on her psycho ass.
Don’t waste any more of your time with this mess and DO YO’THANG!
Hadn’t heard of the G.I.F.T. before — that is too funny. And very true, particularly in this case. :) I will be praying for the sexual liberation of the sad anonymous commenter — move to the “skanky” side, anon, it can be fun there!
Sounds like someone has a stick up their ass and a huge chip on their shoulder. If she were woman enough to say that, she should have owned up to it by using a name. You are an inspiration, not a home wrecker.
I find it interesting that so many people thought that skank-caller was female, when I don’t think that the author’s gender is ever explicitly stated.
I am willing to accept that some people believe that sex should exist only within a marriage (although I naturally feel that they should do more practicing and less preaching, and avoid the insults entirely). What I can’t accept is misogyny like the author expressed. The woman, who had sex outside of marriage, is “a skank” who is scheduled for some sort of divine retribution (or possibly more pedestrian retribution). The man, who lied, had sex outside of marriage, and (presumably) broke his marriage vows is “a sinner”.
It’s hard to take someone with these sorts of standards seriously.
What kind of idiot does not know that sewing and sowing are two entirely different thing/concepts?
I dated a (supposedly unmarried) woman for a year and a half once upon a time and was having a wonderful time until her husband walked up to me in the grocery store and shot me through my eye. Oh well, stuff happens, right? Now I barely speak to any woman until I have checked her out as well as I can. Of course, with all the surgical scarring on my face and head, there is not much opportunity to speak to strangers anyway. Is it possible that some of your readers could recommend a good source online? Oh, BTW, I live in the Los Angeles area. Many thanks beforehand to anyone who can be of some help.
1) The letter writer’s anger is misdirected, as Aspasia pointed out…If the letter writer truly believes that the husband is “running around sinning while only pretending to honour their SACRED vows before God” then why write to you? You didn’t take any of those vows.
2) I’m really, really sorry about what happened to you, Mr. Q.
3) One last thing, I’m a terrible speller, and did not get the “sewing” versus “sowing” pun until I read Mr. Q’s comment. (Now, what does this say about me, an aspiring writer?)
A: The reason so many people assumed the skank-caller was female is because: 1) most of the time, it is a woman who calls another woman a skank or slut or whore, especially when the subject is about marriage and cheating. Ask any woman who has been called a slut as a derogatory, it is usually another woman who says it (that’s been my repeated experience). The documentary Slut goes over that fact in fine detail.; 2) Even if men feel that way (about a woman who is a mistress), they rarely express it; and 3) It is usually wives that call the “other woman” a skank.
But as you pointed out it is the misogyny that is the problem and that can come from either gender.
Kudos to you for not letting a commenter steal your joy, but really – small-minded people like this don’t even deserve the webspace, in my opinion.
Aspasia – Where I grew up, everyone was happy to join in calling a woman a slut, and to tell us what God wanted. I thought it was interesting because it demonstrated that even if we aren’t prudes about sex, we may also have assumptions, such as “women call other women skanks.”
Aspasia – Further update…I’m not saying that those assumptions have no basis in personal experience (that’s generally the basis for assumptions).
I always look at people who look at other people negatively, for enjoying some semblence of sex life, with a raised eyebrow.
To skank or not to skank….THAT is the question.
lying to someone to get some ass…is tacky, if not downright scandalous. But the idea to blame someone for potentially being available for said procurrer of skankdom to ply his wares is a bit misguided. Guys cheat for any variety of reasons.
1. That HS sweetheart that you knocked up and married….is kinda boring in the ol’ sackaroo.
2. Some guys need to feel like they are still arttractive to other women.
3. Some guys need or want sex more than every other tuesday.
4. Those awesome oral skills you “thought” you had…um yeah….well we know where thats going.
5. How inclined are you to want to bang a chick that you’ve watched slowly let herself go? I mean damn.. If you don’t love your body enough to take care of it why should I love your body?
6. Variety…variety….variety….. Missionary, after watching leno for the 145th time is …….not sexay.
7. Maybe dude wants a divorce…but only has the balls enough to pretend to be single.
anyways… maybe the blame should rest with those involved in the relationship and not those who got lied to…
Where in the h–l do these people get off trying to tell me what is “moral”? Does not the Christer bible say something like judge not lest ye shall be judged?
I know about sowing because I used to farm. I also know about sewing because I used to do embroidery (eyesight probs kind of put a lump in that).
Thank you, Rochelle (not recognizing the difference means that you are probably functioning at somewhere around the level of the average American). i did not post that to elicit sympathy, but to show what a dangerous society we have.
The next time you see someone that you know is a disabled vet, walk up to that person and say, “Thank you for your service and sacrifices to preserve my freedoms.”
I guarantee that no matter how scarred, crusty and/or anti-social that person is, you will get a heartfelt, “You are welcome.” You may even get some tears with that.
DO NOT approach anyone (or send your kids over) to ask, “What happened to your eye/legs/arms?” My standard response is, “I lost it in a poker game. Now mind your own damned business!” Many of the disabled are much less polite and you may be very unhappy with their replies.
Thank you for letting me blow off, I doubt it will happen again as I have reason to believe that I will not live much longer. But please no more postings about this, OK? That would probably require an enormous number of very lengthy postings.
Twanna, if I ever get to New York, do you think it possible that we could have lunch or dinner and discuss philosophies and morals? I think that that would probably make me happier than finding a new woman right now.
Whatever happened to the idea that what occurs between consenting adults in the privacy of their own home(s) is their business and no one else’s. I agree with Mr. Q. Only the Christians (or as he refers to them Christers) would have the brass to call themselves the moral majority (they are actually neither) and then tell us that we are immoral and/or skanks and sluts, etc. Perhaps they think that by focusing attention on what they say are our failings, we will not notice theirs. (?)
Before I forget, Mr. Q was once married to my sister who ran around and got pregnant (he left when she filed suit for child support) and he forgot to mention that if the two of you go out, you will be expected to appear in public with the man who is unofficially the second ugliest human west of the Continental Divide. He is, however, incredibly intelligent and one of the nicest people I have ever met. I still support him over my sister and if I were a woman, I would do anything necessary to make him mine.
As I said… it’s always the “religious types.” They’re “Sunday Christians”, that is.
Ewww, I don’t even entertain the trolls anymore. People will aways find fault in what another person does. I just keep it moving!
i’m so late to the party, but i have to say that if you’ve gotten trolls on your site, then you must be blowing up…fuck em and don’t look back…:)
Here! Here! I’ll drink to that – Fuck ‘em!
Miss Pam: I wondered if that was the motivation: It’s a woman whose husbandn cheated on her.
The Original Bro: Ooh, I like it even better abbreviated G.I.F.T. “Hey, babe, take a walk on the skanky side …”
puma73: Thanks you!
A: Interestingly, I too thought it was a woman. Then, when I wrote the post, I realized he/she never specified gender. My original post title was going to be: “Open Letter to The the Woman …” but I changed it to “Open Letter to The Person …” and kept it gender-neutral throughout. Good catch on the skank / sinner double standard, by the way! I missed that the first time I read his/her comment.
Mr. Q: Are you serious about being shot in the eye? And, yeah, I typically soooo don’t care about grammatical errors because I’m one big walking typo. BUT, when someone leaves a shitty, antagonistic comment on my site, you can bet your ass I’ll point out stuff like that :)
Rochelle: Yeah, I giggled at the “reap what you sew” thing.
Aspasia: You said, “most of the time, it is a woman who calls another woman a skank or slut or whore, especially when the subject is about marriage and cheating.” So true. Woman are much worse to each other than men are to women. And, yeah, I agree with you and A: misogyny can come from either gender.
Tara Melissa: Good point. Though, they’re always funny to read and write about.
dkzone: Couldn’t agree with you more! :)
Mr. Q: So, you’re not joking about the eye? Actually, my friend Anna-Scarlet says that all the time: She won’t mess with anyone’s man because you don’t know how crazy the other woman will be! Would love to get together in New York; that said, to be fair, as it is, I feel like I barely have time to see my friends and people I know — let alone people I don’t yet.
Jon: Ooooh, how I sooo agree with your statement: “Whatever happened to the idea that what occurs between consenting adults in the privacy of their own home(s) is their business and no one else’s.”
Buddha: Unfortunately, that’s soooo true!
The Hooker Chronicles: I’m gonna keep on trucking!! :)
letinstar: :)
Kali: Wait, wait. Let me get a drink. I’ll drink with you :)
Yep, serious about the eye (along with a dent in the side of my skull big enough to put your fist into. So what? It doesn’t make a bad guy or anything like that, just one who is not as pretty as everyone else would like for me to be.
And I love you! get em’!
Mr. Q: Sorry to hear about the skull. :(
Lauren V.: Thank you!
Enough about my problems. The skull is not a major as I can cover it (and much of the surgical scarring) with a bandanna. This is a site for responding to Twanna’s postings, not for eliciting sympathy for me. We all must play the hands that are dealt us, so no more about me, OK? No more frowny faces, please (unless they are attached to very naked, very attractive women, anyway). I am sorry that I made the original posting now. I had intended it as a warning about how dangerous our society has become (due in large part to the proliferation of all the liars and con artists).
I shall probably not be posting here much more for a while as I must go back into hospital soon (hopefully for the last time). My thanks to you all for your support and sympathy. Just try to remember that people who are physically mangled are NOT necessarily bad.
Enough of Twanna’s space has been wasted on this nonsense. I am truly sorry, Twanna, but it does not look like I shall be able to keep our date in New York.
OMG!!! I am soooo glad 2 have stumbled onto this site!!! I am LOVING it!!! Your just so witty & fun!
Nice cross stitch, but I would probably think about going with a satin stitch for the lettering and question mark (or perhaps even leaving the question mark out completely).
Look, I’ve knowingly slept with a married man and the only that makes me is deeply sorry and- during the affair – terribly deluded. But it takes two to Tango. And though a responsible party in the affair, I was breaking NO marriage vows. But somehow, to his wife, he was the husband deeply in love with only her “lead astray by the wiles of a loose, slutty, skanky woman”. Uhhhh, you console yourself with that , sweetie, when he does it again.
Hi,Great article dude! i am Tired of using RSS feeds and do you use twitter?so i can follow you there:D.
PS:Have you thought to be putting video to your blog to keep the visitors more interested?I think it works.Yours, Barabara Chaffer
Hi Barabara! Yep, I’m on Twitter: http://twitter.com/funkybrownchick. Videos “to keep the visitors more interested” :) I’d like to think my visitors are already interested; hence, they’re here ;) That said, I’ve posted a few videos on the site here & you can also find me on YouTube: http://youtube.com/funkybrownchick. I don’t do as many videos as I’d like, but that’s mostly because of bandwidth (working, writing freelance articles, pitching the book, maintaining time for friends & family, etc.) As time permits, expect additional videos. :)