Mar 252010
 

In a recent post called Straight Woman Dating Bisexual / Bi Curious Guys, I mentioned a few of my exes were bi. After reading that, a concerned Funky Brown Chick reader I’ll call “Albert” emailed me to gently warn, among other things, dating bisexual men might cause me to “contract AIDS.” For what it’s worth, as a sexually active adult & a health nut — even though I use condoms like, almost, always — I still get tested on a regular basis. See: NYC’s List of Free & Confidential Clinics for testing sites.

I’m not HIV+, nor do I have AIDS. That said, as someone who writes about sex & relationships (gay, straight & other), I have to say Albert’s message made me kind of sad. It reminded me tons of negative misconceptions still exist about the LGBTQ community’s health — namely, the assumption that all gay & bisexual men have STDs and/or the virus.

Allowing an HIV- bisexual man’s penis to enter my body with a condom wrapped around it is much less risky than barebacking it with an HIV+ straight dude. Mayor Clinic, NIH, CDC, GMHC, the U.S. Department of Health & Human Services and others maintain great resource sites for information about HIV/AIDS. Check ‘em out. There’s TONS information available to those who’d like to learn more. I’m not saying all of the information out there is good, but there’s a lot of it.

Morgan Fairchild to Speak at DAP on World AIDS Day

That PSA aside, I wanted to say I was also happy to get Albert’s email because it inspired this post. As I’ve said many times before, my favorite thing about this site is that it allows me to interact with readers — unlike, say, print newspaper or magazine articles that don’t appear online and/or don’t have comments sections.  I like engaging in healthy conversations about sex, sexuality and intimacy. So, if you’ve never shared your thoughts in the comments section, I encourage you to do so in a future post. Also, for what it’s worth, if you like reading Funky Brown Chick, reading the comments section might introduce you to a few other fun people who read this site, too. Though I haven’t responded to thoughts shared on Straight Woman Dating Bisexual / Bi Curious Guys post yet, I’ve read them. Nando, the Mexican dude featured in my 5 Tips: Oral Sex Performed on the Penis, was first to weigh in. Rachel, Baba Doodlius, Janelle, Darnell, Miko Holt, Puma73, Arielle Loren, Pamela, Lady M, dkzone, A, Christian and Tom had a lot to say too. That is all. Just a quick post to talk about things spinning in my head since receiving the email about bisexuality & AIDS.

  7 Responses to “A Few More Thoughts About Bisexual Guys”

  1. This is one of the MAJOR stereotypes that is projected onto bisexual men. While contracting HIV/AIDS should always be a concern for sexually active people, ANYONE can get the virus and pass it to someone else. It is exactly these stereotypes that create a false sense of security for straight women who think they’re sleeping with a partner that only engages in heterosexual activity. Unprotected sex with ANYONE puts you at risk for contracting the virus.

    In The Bi-deology Project, I have interviewed plenty of straight women who have dated bisexual men that have NOT gotten HIV/AIDS. Truly, that is one of the media’s most sensationalized stories, especially surrounding the straight woman “sob” story in regards to “down low” men.

    Let’s get to the core of the issue and address these preconceived notions about sexuality. Kudos to Twanna for doing this follow up post as a response.

    Thanks!

    Arielle Loren

  2. My first three wives were all bisexual and, at their urgings, I attempted  bisexual relationships to no avail. 
    I still say that what happens in private between consenting ADULTS (no matter how many) is no one’s business but theirs.  If you are not smart enough to practice safe sex practices, then it is no one’s fault but your own if you catch something that ‘won’t wash off with Ajax.’

  3. It’s sad such ignorance still exists. Real crazy but in the UK, men who have ever had sex with another guy cannot give blood regardless of being HIV+ or not. And the NHS don’t even explain themselves. Perhaps they do actually, but it surely isn’t sufficent enough.

  4. Also, women who’ve had sex with bi men aren’t allowed to give blood.

  5. You are so knowledgeable, open minded, and free with your sage advice about things I’ve always been to afraid to ask about. I might not need to know right now since I’m not having a sexually oriented relationship just now (and haven’t for two decades) but there are things I should probably know just in case. I’m just afraid to ask because being heterosexually masochistic in some ways that might attract sadistic “fag-hags” as Margaret Cho would call them, and since I might fantasize about having things done to me that are unsafe, I should probably learn what’s safe or not and what the consequences are. I’m not sure i’m brave enough to ask yet though. Thank you for educating people the way you do. You’re a lot of fun to listen to and read.

  6. Arielle Loren:  You’re soooo right: “contracting HIV/AIDS should always be a concern for sexually active people, ANYONE can get the virus and pass it to someone else.”

    Mr. Q: Has anyone ever washed their parts with Ajax?

    Olivia: Sounds unfair.

    Panty Buns: Thank you!

  7. Arielle Loren:  You’re soooo right: “contracting HIV/AIDS should always be a concern for sexually active people, ANYONE can get the virus and pass it to someone else.”

    Mr. Q: Has anyone ever washed their parts with Ajax?

    Olivia: Sounds unfair.

    Panty Buns: Thank you!

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