Sep 072010

I try to live each year in Manhattan as if it’s my last one here. Because, one day, it will be. On my Facebook, I shared The Onion article 8.4 Million New Yorkers Suddenly Realize New York City A Horrible Place To Live, and I’ve also seen it spreading online faster than herpes. It’s a satirical piece, but I think it struck a chord with many of the other 117,000+ people who shared the link on Facebook. From the piece: “I always had this perverted sense of pride because I was managing to scrape by here,” said Brooklyn resident Andrew McQuade, who, after watching two subway rats gnawing on a third bloody rat carcass, finally determined that New York City was a giant sprawling cancer. “Well, fuck that. I don’t need to pay $2,000 a month to share a doghouse-sized apartment with some random Craigslist dipshit to prove my worth. I want to live like a goddamn human being.”

I adore this city. I do. Seriously, there are millions of reasons to love New York. At the same time, I miss some of the “quality of life” things this city doesn’t offer very well: quick access to nature, healthy outdoor air quality, large living spaces, opportunities to see the people I care about on a more regular basis, the ability to save tremendous amounts of cash instead of flushing it down the drain for rent, etc., etc. Funny enough, people say my ambivalence about living here — instead of a newbie’s affection for it — makes me a real New Yorker. It’s kind of like how all those French people who complain about Paris are still Parisians.

Hot Chick

For now, I’m soaking up the best of NYC. I spent my sixth New York Labor Day Weekend sitting in the city’s best parks, dropping by world-class cultural attractions, brunching with friends and enjoying much needed time off. I went with David to the Metropolitan Opera to watch a 2010 Summer HD Festival free screening of La Boeheme. (If you’re in the city and free tonight, they’re showing Carmen.) Friday, I went to Brooklyn with Rach, Shoshi and Stacie for Desiree’s homemade cheese biscuits, heirloom salad and mussels. Pear martinis flowed freely and, during some point that evening, I did a dramatic rendition of Beyoncé’s performance in Obsessed. Saturday and Sunday was for brunching with Karlyn, John, Matt and Julia as well as hanging in Central Park. Will I still live here when I’m a 40, 60 or even 70-year-old woman (rocking legs like Tina Turner, I hope). Who knows. Anyway. Just a random rant I wanted to get off my chest. Hope you all enjoyed pleasant Labor Day weekends. More soon.

Image credit: Erin Pettigrew

  15 Responses to “The Onion’s Article about New Yorkers”

  1. Twanna Twanna Twanna, I love your blog and your usual positive outlook on things, but when are YOU and so many other people going to learn that New York is comprised of 4 other boroughs besides Manhattan. If you don’t want to spend an arm and a leg for rent, try Brooklyn; you could easily save a lot more than you think. As for greener, try Queens.  Just a thought.

    • I tried Astoria for a bit. But, the $$ I saved in rent, I paid in cabs getting home at night. Late-night taxi from East Village / LES to that apt plus tip was like $25 – $30. It added up over time and I moved back to the city.

      • Have you heard of the train? I know it’s probably a bit unsafe after hours, but you’re a big girl.

        • Train? Huh? What’s that? ;) Kidding, of course. I take it a lot — just, you know, not usually at 2 or 3am when I’m dead tired and tipsy because I know the MTA will take about an hour and I’m likely to fall asleep :)

  2. When you’re an author and a TV star, life in NYC is better.

    • We’ll see what happens on both fronts.

      My philosophy is the book it’s “done” until it’s sold and printed, and the show isn’t “greenlighted” until it’s online / on air / whatever.

      Baby steps always :) I’m just taking everything in as it comes.

  3. Twanna- I’m a native NYer & I rep this place proudly all day everyday- but even I’m getting the itchy feet. However I’ve sorta painted myself into a corner and am kinda stuck: my kids are in good schools that will get them into even better colleges, and in order to remain there we have to stay within City limits.
    And Dena- I was born & raised in Brooklyn, live there now and have lived in Queens and The Bronx. It’s expensive everywhere. The outer boroughs have caught up with Manhattan and you’d be hard-pressed to find anything affordable that would allow you to feel safe at night without a pitbull, a gun tucked under your pillow and bars on your window.
    (hey, they don’t call me Jaded for nothing!)

    • You’re soooo right about that! Recently, I considered moving to Fort Greene. Checked apartment prices, but they were just as much as Manhattan. Found a couple places than were like $100 – $200 cheaper. Didn’t go for it because it would be like Astoria all over again. (Save a bit here, but pay it out on transportation.)

      There are places deeper in Brooklyn and far flung areas of the Bronx, but I can’t live somewhere if I wouldn’t feel safe walking home on my own at 2 a.m. I go out a lot, and I often return late. That factors in my housing choices; it’s worth paying a bit extra for sanity and security.

  4. As an artist, I’ve always wanted to live in New York because it’s the art capital of the country. That being said, I can’t afford to live there because artist make very little money so for now I’ll stick with Minneapolis.
    That quote is hilarious though.

  5. Have you ever visited Inwood?  You really should.  Have a cup of coffee at the Indian Road Cafe and then step out into Inwood Hill Park.  In fact, let us know when your coming and my wife and I will show you around…

  6. sounds great. not a cheap place to live,fo sho

Share your thoughts | Get down with the funky brown ...