Holy fucking shit! Michael Patrick King I love you, but baby what happened?!?! :( Wait. Stop. I’ll rewind a bit … Hi :) As many of you know, I’m back from Atlantic City. I should take mini-vacations like that more often. Sure, AC had an unexpectedly high number of orange men with over-plucked eyebrows and uber-gelled hair. But, you know what? It also had beaches, cocktails, shopping, roulette, pools and friendly people who didn’t fit the first-pumping stereotype. I had fun and, when the weekend concluded, I was even more thrilled to return to NYC and catch my British bestie Zoe Margolis from Girl with a One Track Mind before she jetted back to London. We saw Sex and the City 2 in Midtown. Since a few of you on Twitter asked what I thought, here are my thoughts …
Sex and the City 2 Isn’t Like the Hit Show Sex and the City
I loved the HBO series Sex and the City. Remember 1998? It was the year we discovered then-President Bill Clinton stuck a cigar in Monica Lewinsky’s vagina, and she gave a blow job. Yet, few TV stations spoke to us as adults about what occurred. There was talk of a mysterious “sexual encounter” and a “relationship.” During the Barbara Walters interview, Lewinsky apologized for “what happened.” Thought, I don’t remember the media plainly saying, among other things: Bill Clinton stuck a cigar in Monica Lewinsky’s vagina, and she gave a blow job. Granted, I really don’t think their consensual affair was the country’s business, but my point is: That’s the sociocultural environment we were living in when Sex and the City first aired. Nevertheless, Carrie wondered aloud, When did men get the message that the ass is now on the menu? Miranda told us soul mates only exist in the Hallmark aisle of Duane Reade. Charlotte said her vagina was depressed. And, Samantha’s mouth? Shit, what didn’t come out of (or go into) it?! They were fun, interesting and invigorating. On camera, they participated in — and talked about — sex. A lot. I gobbled it up because I was hungry for frank discussions like that. Many of us were. I saw the first movie and thought it was good. However, when I heard SATC 2 was in production, my first thought was: It’s gonna suck!!!! With the exception of a few precious jewels (Before Sunset, T2, Aliens, Godfather II and others), second films are rarely as delightful as originals. Keeping in step, SATC 2 is worse than the first SATC movie and the show. Spoiler alert: None of the characters — except Kim Cattrall / Samantha — have sex. Yep, it’s true: You won’t see Carrie have sex. What’s more? Much of the movie is set in Abu Dhabi instead of Manhattan. With no sex and no city, it’s more like Celibacy in the UAE.
That said, Sex and the City 2 Isn’t THAT Bad.
Actually, given the absolutely abysmal Sex and the City 2 reviews, I entered Regal E-walk Cinemas on Monday practically expecting the screen to open and project vomit all over me. However, parts of the movie were really good. They just could’ve, you know, gone deeper.
Then again … Maybe It’s Not Them, It’s Me.
In my early twenties, I was in a longterm relationships with a guy I worried might be cheating on me but I didn’t have proof. Long story. For now, suffice it to say, whenever he mentioned the other woman, I felt disgusted, angry, frustrated, confused and irritated. If he was cheating on me, I thought I’d be an idiot for believing his words when he told me he was faithful. If he wasn’t cheating, I figured I was a nagging, annoying, insecure girlfriend who didn’t trust our relationship. That limbo feeling fucking sucked, and I didn’t think there was an easy way to be honest with my friends (and myself) by saying, “I’m worried my boyfriend is cheating, but I’m afraid to leave him because I don’t want to be single.” So, in SATC 2, when Charlotte thinks her hubby is fucking the nanny, it’s kind of hard to believe her when she says something like, “You know what my first thought was when I thought they were screwing around? ‘Oh no, I can’t loose the nanny. I need her to help with the kids!’ [Covers mouth to giggle, giggle, giggle]” You’ve got to be shitting me! SATC 2 was missing that “real women, real emotions” feel of its predecessor, the TV show.
Sex and the City Isn’t Really Like The City
New York is much browner and less wealthy than what’s presented in SATC. Each day I walk through my beloved Manhattan, I see black people ( … and Desis, Asians, Mexicans, Puerto Ricans, Muslims, tourists, overweight people, the homeless other varieties of shapes, sizes, income levels and hues …). Oddly those rich flavors are missing from SATC. I could write about that forever, but it’s a full topic for a different post. For now, let’s talk a bit about Carrie. It’s the Great Recession, yet Mrs. Bradshaw-Preston owns a not one but TWO apartments in Manhattan and gallivants to Abu Dhabi on a private airline. People, SHOES are all that matter!! Given the current economic climate, it seems a bit out of touch and decadent. Then again, maybe we like watching wealth when we’re poor and poverty when we’re wealthy? (In the economically-depressed eighties, people tuned in to watch big-haired, bejeweled Texans on Dallas. The financially booming late eighties / early 1990′s ushered in a working class family on Roseanne.)
Less bling, more heart.
Strolling down memory lane, here’s one of Carrie’s lines from the original TV show: “The most important thing in life is your family. There are days you love them, and others you don’t. But, in the end, they’re the people you always come home to. Sometimes it’s the family you’re born into and sometimes it’s the one you make for yourself.” Not only is that relatable, that sentiment — and the believability of the four female characters’ bond — drove the original series’ success. THAT’S the secret ingredient missing from the new movie.
