Hey, guys! I’m still in DC on vacation. Sorry for the post-free days, non response to comments, etc. I’ve been busy. I took a glamorous 5-hour “Fung Wah”-style (that’s New York speak for “cheap”) bus ride to our nation’s capital to see my friend Mags. She bought us tickets to the New Kids on the Block reunion tour. KICK ASS!!!! As I mentioned on Facebook, Joey McIntyre GOT DOWN ON HIS FUCKING KNEES to sing “Please Don’t Go Girl” because that song is just that awesome. See the picture above?! In other news … As I mentioned the other day, I was in Time Out New York’s annual sex issue. Here’s the link:

http://www.timeout.com/newyork/articles/sex-in-the-city/65291/sex-lives-of-new-yorkers-the-sex-issue-2008

My latest article published was an event preview of Poly Pride Weekend. One of New York’s fabulous alternative weeklies, New York Press, ran it. Here’s the link:

http://www.nypress.com/21/40/abouttown/artsbriefs2.cfm

And, in perhaps the best news all week, SXSW just announced I’ll be one of the speakers at next year’s conference:

http://www.sxsw.com/interactive/talks/panels

Damn, it’s been a great week!! Good SXSW news and a NKOTB concert within the same 5-day span of time??? Man, that’s life: there are good weeks and bad weeks. I’ve certainly had my, “unemployed, life fucking sucks, I’m not getting laid, I hate this fucking city” weeks — sometimes, MONTHS. (See: New York 3, Twanna 0.) Thank God, this week hasn’t been like that.

Technorati Tags: Danny Wood, Donnie Wahlberg, funky brown chick, funkybrownchick, Joey McIntyre, Jonathan Knight, Jordan Knight, New Kids on the Block, NKOTB, reunion, tour, Twanna, Twanna A. Hines, Twanna Hines

Oooh, it’s Manly Monday again. I love boys — in all forms they come. ;)  Mmmmm, I *almost* made Sugarbutch Chronicles’ Sinclair Sexsmith the new Manly Monday pick, but I think I’m gonna do that later and tie in a discuss about sexuality & gender politics. Some day. Just not today. The Funky Brown Chick pick for Monday, September 29th, is Fatman Scoop from MTV’s MAN and WIFE. Some of you longtime FUNKYBROWNCHICK.com readers may be thinking, “Man and Wife … I’ve heard of that.” Of course you have! Lux, Jamye, Rachel and I were guests on the show for Shanda’s ladies night out. (Watch the episode.)

Scoop’s GREAT! Definitely a super funny guy & he’s really good at what he does. After I met him, he mentioned he travels & works in Amsterdam a lot. So, of course, that makes me like him even more. I used to live in the Netherlands, and I count it as a second “home” of sorts. But, back to Scoop. Catch him and Shanda on MTV for the MAN and WIFE series premiere tonight at 11 PM ET/PT. From the website: “Man and Wife break new ground as the first married couple in the hip-hop genre discussing sex, money, sex, relationships, sex, jobs, sex, politics, sex, marriage, and yes, sex! [...] Scoop and Shanda are fierce advocates of safe sex, responsibility, monogamy, respect, hard work, and loyalty. This is a show about building and strengthening relationships for anyone who’s in love or looking for love. Open and honest communication for all is their mission, with great sex as life’s ultimate bonus.”

Technorati Tags: Fatman Scoop, funky brown chick, funkybrownchick, Man and Wife, MTV, reality TV, Shanda, Twanna, Twanna A. Hines, Twanna Hines

Because I’m in the middle of writing a book about sex & relationships (generally speaking), I pay a ridiculous amount of attention to two things lately: (1) how people choose titles for their creative projects and (2) this thing called “placement.” When you tell folks in the writing industry you’re writing a book, editors, publishers and other people ask the same question: “What is it?” To a writer, this sounds like “What are you writing?” What is it? “It’s a memoir” or “it’s science fiction” or “it’s a book about [fill in the blank -- i.e. turtles, sex or whatever].” But, really, I’m learning this whole “what is it” question is about selling / marketing. The people in the book industry want to know “What makes you think people will actually want to buy your book? What makes it familiar enough that people will ‘get’ it, yet different enough that people will find unique value in it?” Same goes for music, art, film or or creative projects.

For example, at the movies the other day, I saw a trailer for Lakeview Terrace [official site, trailer, IMDB]. Okay, so, you’ve seen Unlawful Entry, right? A crazy cop (Ray Liotta) develops a sickly stalker-like attraction to Michael’s (Kurt Russell) wife Karen (Madeleine Stowe) and the movie turns into a thriller. Question: “What is Lakeview Terrace?” ANSWER: It’s kind of like Unlawful Entry — just with an interracial couple.

Unlawful Entry

Lakeview Terrace

Today, if you ask me the infamous question about my book: “So, what is it?” The most honest answer is: “I’ll be able to tell you once I’ve finished writing it.” I want to write the most honest, interesting and engaging book that I, personally, can write. If I have to use “What OTHER book is it like?” as my starting point, I kind of feel like it kills the uniqueness of my book. They say every story has already been told, and they’re right. “It is not what you tell,” says the gaming blog HDRL, “[it's] how you tell it. That is what renews suspense and interest in a given story.”

For now, I might not know what “it” is, I’m just enjoying the process of writing my love story in my own unique, distintive and creative way.

Technorati Tags: African American writers in New York, interracial dating, Kerry Washington, Kurt Russell, Lakeview Terrace, Madeleine Stowe, Neil LaBute, New York city writers, Patrick Wilson, Ray Liotta, Samuel L. Jackson, Unlawful Entry

Obviously, I have no qualms about interracial dating. Truth be told, I kind of have a “thing” for men with accents. Here on FUNKY BROWN CHICK, I’ve written about French, Dutch, Aussie, and Italian guys and the panty-sniffing Irish guy. I’ve also written about Jews,  Asian dudes and, of course, black men.

“Do you date black guys?” I get asked this question quite often. “When I see a beautiful black woman such as yourself,” reads an email from a FUNKY BROWN CHICK reader named Jason, “or someone that fits that mold, one where she is comfortable with herself, her blackness, and doesn’t have the hang ups that most black women have (ghetto, lack of self-esteem or self-worth) [...] they usually have a white dude on their arm. I have to admit though that some of those are very intimidating because when you see realness, you can’t ‘game’ it. I just wanted to hear your thoughts on that. I know it was kinda random but when I saw pics of you that was my first thought, ’she’s really cute but does she date black dudes?’”

Yes. I date black dudes. When it comes to black women’s relationships, people often assume either/or. EITHER you’re a “real” black woman who dates black men exclusively OR you’re a “sellout” who only dates white guys because of (a) self hatred or (b) desperation / you’re fed up with black men. Where’s the space where black women are allowed to love whoever they love without catching bullshit for doing so?

Okay, so, Paula, a friend from my writing group, gave me a heads up about Tim Alexander’s movie “Diary of a Tired Black Man” screening at 3:15pm this Saturday, Sept. 13th as part of the Urbanworld Film Festival. According to NPR, Alexander claims ‘angry black woman syndrome’ is plaguing brown women. What’s more? Supposedly, the filmmaker actually wonders whether “black women are simply ‘too angry’ to be datable.” Motherfucker, you wanna see angry?!?!? I’ll show your black ass angry. Where’s my mothafucking knife?!?!

Kidding, of course.

But, here’s the part where the jokes stop: I don’t think there’s anything funny, interesting or novel about black men who claim they only date white women because black women are angry. It sounds like an extremely tired and negative argument. (Ditto for black women who say the same about white dudes & black guys. ) I sometimes go out with white — and other ethnic — dudes because I like men. Period. It’s a very positive thing. I don’t do it because I hate black men or because I think the brothers are “angry.”

Is there (sometimes) a certain eroticism about dating someone who’s skin tone doesn’t match your own? Of course. But, that doesn’t always have to be a bad thing. I recently hooked up with a really sweet, tall, blonde-haired, blue-eyed Dutch dude who ran his fingers over my soft, bare, brown thighs in bed as he said “I really like your skin,” blushed and then said: “I do.” He liked the person inside the skin more. I liked him, too. THAT’S what matters.

There. I’ve said all I have to say for now. Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments section.

“Diary of a Tired Black Man” screens at 3:15pm this Saturday, Sept. 13th as part of the Urbanworld Film Festival. Alternative trailer available on the film’s MySpace page. Tickets are $11.75 available online at Fandango

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NOTE: I have an afternoon wedding in Bushwick on Saturday. If the timing works out, I’ll go to the film afterwords.

Technorati Tags: Diary of a Tired Black Man, Dutch guys, funky brown chick, funkybrownchick, hot australian men, interracial dating, NPR, Tim Alexander, Twanna, Twanna A. Hines, Twanna Hines, Urban World Film Festival

Thanks to Gawker, I’m much more excited about the state of dating in NYC and much less likely to hang myself. Last Tuesday, I wrote a blog post about a 2007 chart showing the male-to-female ratio in American cities. A couple days later, Gawker said, “Remember that male:female demographic map that statistically charted the surplus single females across the nation and made every single woman in New York want to hang herself? Turns out it was somewhat misleading [...]” Apparently, a totally amazing kickass person named Jonathan Soma shares my numbers fetish and rejiggered the map to make it adjustable by age. Go click the arrows and play with the map; seriously, it’s really fun!!! “So there is, it turns out,” Gawker explains, “probably a surplus of single young dudes, and an absolute paucity of single old dudes.” (Granted, this doesn’t account for the fact that each gay male pairing knocks out two eligible men but, whatever, it’s waaay too earlier to reconsider adding that variable to the map.)

I see men in my future. LOTS of them!!! :) Pop the chilled champagne and bring out the Trojan condoms. Oh, but, wait: How much can I indulge before I get that “slut” bumper sticker attached to my shiny forehead? “Don’t worry,” some of you are saying, “it’s already there, you just can’t see it!” Gee, thanks. On a more serious note, the “What’s the definition of a slut?” question has been swimming my brain’s fluids for nearly a week. First, we had the VMAs–Russell Brand joked he wanted to ‘capture’ the Jonas Brothers‘ collection of purity rings and Jordin Sparks defended the virginal jewelry saying something like, “not everyone wants to be a slut, okay?!?!” So, those are the choices: you’re either a repressed, purity ring-wearing virgin or a slutty chick who hangs out spread eagle on her bed just waiting for the long line of men to enter?! Oh, wow.

“What IS today’s definition of a slut?” a woman named Andrea Davis asked after noticing I posted Jezebel’s response to conversation on The View on my Facebook. One of my high school buds, Heidi C., also commented:

Purity rings are a joke. (Frankly, The View is a joke too. Both are superficial in their content and don’t examine the core of the matter.) Does it matter to you, personally, to maintain “sexual purity?” ‘Cause if you’re looking at the Bible and literally holding it to be true, then even looking at somebody else while having sexual desire for that person would be equivalent to breaking one of the Ten Commandments. “Thy shall not covet thy neighbor’s wife.” People that wear these rings still have sexual drives. To not acknowledge this basic fact of human life absurd. You could compare the purity rings to using wallpaper to cover a hole in the wall. Yeah, you’re making a statement, but the hole in the wall - or the sex drive - is still there and nothing that you can tell or show others is going to cover up the truth.

Wow!! VERY WELL SAID!!! Couldn’t have said it any better myself. How about you, dear readers? Any comments about purity rings? Or wanna take a stab at finishing this statement: “I think today’s definition of a slut is _____.”

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Credit Paid: Big drippy kisses and THANK YOUs go out to Peggy B. giving me the heads up about the Gawker article!!

Technorati Tags: dating blogs, funky brown chick, funkybrownchick, numbers fetish, purity rings, Russell Brand, sluts, The View, Twanna, Twanna A. Hines, Twanna Hines, what's a slut

Yesterday, I updated my Facebook status to let people know, “Twanna would like to rip 19-year-old Joe Jonas‘ purity ring off his finger using only her wet tongue and white teeth.” I meant it. You see, I’ve been thinking: I need an intern. A personal assistant. SOMETHING. I’m trying to juggle a full-time day gig, full-time writing career and a BUNCH of life maintenance stuff like, um, ya know, doing my laundry, help out with planning my high school reunion, returning telephone calls to my friends and family, buying a plane ticket home for the holidays before the prices soar, etc. etc. So, I need help with the administrative stuff related to this blog & my freelance writing. You know, stuff like organizing the addresses in my database / mailing list so I can send out my private e-update. Prioritizing the messages in my four fucking email accounts. I have too much stuff to do, and too little money to pay someone to actually help me out with it. “What,” you might ask, “does any of this have to do with little Joe Jonas?”

When Monica Lewinsky worked in the White House, she was an unpaid intern wasn’t she? That seemed to work out well for all parties involved. So, why can’t *I* have a young, energetic, eager little brunette help me out on an “unpaid intern” basis? Something like a mini-Joe Jonas. Ah, a girl can dream, can’t she? I’ll be back tomorrow when I actually have TIME to write a full post. I was without internet in my home for nearly 1/2 a week and I’m ridiculously backlogged on scheduling meetings, hitting my deadlines, and responding to writing-related emails and other stuff that usually would’ve happened online. :(

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Photo credit: Image of Joe Jonas appears online at Wikipedia

Technorati Tags: freelance writing, funkybrownchick, Joe Jonas, purity rings, Twanna

IMDB, Wikipedia

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Credit paid: Got the heads up about this one via New York magazine.

Technorati Tags: Allen Hughes, Films in New York City, New York, New York I Love You The Movie, New York magazine, NYC, Yvan Attal

Holy shit! How can I *NOT* name the U.S. Men’s 4×100m Freestyle Relay Olympics Gold Metal-winning foursome — Jason Lezak, Garrett Weber-Gale, Michael Phelps and (New York City native!!!) Cullen Jones — the Manly Monday pick for today?! DID YOU SEE THAT RACE??? Wait. Hold up. Just a sec. Let me calm down a touch. Okay … backing up a bit … Hi, I’m Twanna. Welcome to Monday at FUNKY BROWN CHICK. If this is your first time here, you might not know we honor the earth’s lovely bedicked creatures at the top of each week. We’ve asked Should Men Wear Thongs?, drooled over Manly, Hot, Asian-American Men and otherwise celebrated men and all their deliciousness.

Okay, so, here’s the part where we start talking about the Olympics — specifically, male swimmers. I love their sleek, toned, delicious bodies.  As you already know, swimmers shave or wave all the tiny little hairs off their body. Yum …. I bet that would feel really nice, tight, firm and juicy against my tongue, fingertips or naked torso. Hairless men. I’d TOTALLY do them. How about you? Do you think men look better with or without body hair?

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Photo Credit: Image proving black people — including Cullen Jones — can swim appears online at the Associated Press

Technorati Tags: black people can't swim, Cullen Jones, Games of the XXIX Olympiad, Garret Weber-Gale, hairless men, hairy men, Jason Lezak, Michael Phelps, Olympics, swimming, US Men's 4x100m Freestyle Relay