MAYA
let me be your mirror

A SOLO PHOTO EXHIBIT BY YUNICE KANG
9/8/11 – 9/14/11

OPENING RECEPTION
9/8/11
7-10PM

FRONTRUNNER GALLERY
59 Franklin Street (between Broadway & Lafyette)
New York, NY 10013

If Marilyn Monroe was an Arab woman she might be Baya Benmahmoud, says filmmaker Michel Leclerc. “For Baya,” he continues, “nudity is totally unimportant: she acts the same way naked as she does in clothes – she doesn’t make it sexual.” The New York Times calls her “a walking wardrobe malfunction, who is so absent-minded that her breasts are repeatedly falling out of her shirt.” Romantic comedy THE NAMES OF LOVE features flesh, witty dialogue, and a steamy interethnic romance between a young Arab woman who likes to be naked and a middle-aged Jewish man who likes to indulge her.

Be ye not fooled! It’s smarter than your average opposites-attract flick. More about the film from its website: Amid the bubbly amour [...] and moments of sheer madness, filmmaker Michel Leclerc injects satirical riffs on such hot-button sociopolitical issues as Arab-Jewish relations, anti-Semitism, immigration, and racial and cultural identity.

“In France,” says Leclerc, “the question of origin is complicated and obsessive.” His co-writer on the screenplay shares the female lead’s namesake, Baya, and also has an Algerian parent. Is the fictional Baya the filmmaker’s Baya? Admitting THE NAMES OF LOVE is highly autobiographical, Leclerc fesses, “it was in telling each other stories about our families that, despite our differences, we recognized similarities when it came to certain neuroses and obsessions of our parents.” In closing credits, the screenwriting pair dedicate THE NAMES OF LOVE to their parents. I saw the flick with my friend Rachel because I’m addicted to sexy romantic comedies. Here’s our quickie 120-second review:

Additional film reviews are available from Roger Ebert and local outlets like The New York Jewish Week, The New Jersey Jewish Standard, Salon and The New York Times.

Hello, lovers! So much has happened since you and I last spoke. Most of it’s private, hence I was light on posting. If you crave heavier FUNKY BROWN CHICK® doses, you can usually find me online somewhere on any given day — whether uploading Facebook photos with JohnJude at Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week – New York 2011 or posting a YouTube video taking clothes off and putting them back on. Link up to stay in touch. To those of you who have already reached out and/or connected elsewhere, I see your mentions, likes, comments, retweets, emails, etc. Sincerest gratitude for your support.

In 2005, I started writing about sex and healthy relationships on FUNKY BROWN CHICK® because I wanted to create a space where anyone could feel free to share frank, intelligent, adult conversations. Marriage. Loneliness. Bisexual men. Male genital mutilation. Intersex children. Interracial dating. Any time anyone stumbles upon something I’ve written that inspires them or makes them think differently, that makes me happy. Over the past (nearly) six years, I’ve enjoyed crafting 1,000+ posts. And, I look forward to sharing even more in the days, weeks and years to come.

Speaking of coming, I recently saw Liz Canner’s film, ORGASM INC. Big pharma has been itching to get inside women’s panties for ages. Four years ago, I wrote about Procter & Gamble’s horny hustle. See:  Intrinsa Wants to Make Women Horny. A former porn editor for pill-pusher for Vivus, ORGASM INC director Canner shows various Female Sexual Dysfunction (FSD) “treatments” — including Intrinsa, surgically inserting crap against your spine, slashing ladybits and gulping experimental hormones. Though some of the movie’s graphics are a bit choppy and distracting, ORGASM INC still delivers an important, thought-provoking exploration of sex and medicine. See it.

I’m kind of a film nut, so I watch more movies than most. That said, I’ve not yet seen KING’S SPEECH, THE KIDS ARE ALL RIGHT or TRUE GRIT. If you’ve seen any of them, share your thoughts. Feel free to leave other movie suggestions — or your mini film review of ORGASM INC if you’ve already seen it — in the comments section.

First, an update. I’m ridiculously grateful. In recent weeks, new creative opportunities came my way — hence, the light blogging as I got everything sorted out. Expect exciting announcements in early 2011. In the meantime, on with our regularly scheduled program at FUNKY BROWN CHICK®. I recently saw director Darren Aronofsky’s flick BLACK SWAN starring Natalie Portman. If you’ve not yet seen it, here’s the trailer. As others have noted, it’s basically an arthouse version of Showgirls — but better. Waaaaay better. The film’s plot cleverly mirrors the ballet’s storyline. Nina (Natalie Portman) is a frigid ballerina in Manhattan who dances the lead role in Tchaikovsky’s Swan Lake. Her rival, Lily (Mila Kunis), vies to take her spot. Porny/Showgirls infusions include a Natalie Portman who CANNOT STOP MASTURBATING. Plus, there’s a girl-on-girl action shot when the Baywatch chick (Kunis) goes down on Nina. Current.com calls them frenemies with benefits.

The script contains several winning quotes. When Nina (Portman) replaces Beth (Winona Ryder) as head dancer and pilfers her dressing room, Ryder — previously arrested for shoplifting at Saks Fifth Avenue — indignantly lips the line: You stole my stuff?! Another great one? The sexy Thomas Leroy (Vincent Cassel), points to uptight Nina and asks a male ballerina, Would you fuck that girl? When he doesn’t answer, Thomas’ heavy French accents drips: Exactly. No one would. Speaking of Vincent Cassels — because BLACK SWAN convinced me I soooo need to look at his face more often — I recently streamed IRREVERSIBLE on Netflix. Um, big mistake. That movie was so gratuitously and destructively violent I actually watched YouTube clips of dolphins and a kitty & a furry little puppy licking each other to get it out of my head. Fuck, man. Seriously. It’s intense. In any case … Back to BLACK SWAN.

Seeing Nina and Lily’s relationship on the screen, I thought about how women interact in friendships compared to men. A frenemy, according to Wikipedia, is “an enemy disguised as a friend” or “a partner who is simultaneously a competitor and rival.” Jumping off the screen and going elsewhere in Hollywood, it’s been alleged Eva Longoria is divorcing Tony Parker due to his sexting relationship with Erin Barry –wife of Tony’s former NBA teammate. That sucks because Eva & Erin were girlfriends, and Tony & Brent were dude friends. Here’s a photo of the smiling foursome paling around before all this shit went down. My thoughts? (1) I read too much celebrity gossip news. (2) Question: Are women more likely to be competitive with each other than men are — à la Natalie Portman & Mila Kunis in BLACK SWAN? Or, does competition among women simply manifest itself differently? Let’s chew on that in the comments section.

Dick flicks. If you’ve been to FUNKY BROWN CHICK® before, you know we kick the week off with Manly Manly — beautiful discussions of testosteronely topics. Today we’re talking about schlongs in film. A cinephile, I’ve rated 1,368 movies on Netflix. I’ve attended International Film Festival Rotterdam, and created programming in conjunction with Chicago International Film Festival and Toronto International Film Festival. When I lived in Holland, I volunteered at Amnesty International Film Festival in Amsterdam. Stateside, in 2006 and 2007, I volunteered at Tribeca Film Festival; I worked there for pay in 2008.*

Considering I like cerebral, sexually intense films featuring quirky/complicated relationships, I’ve seen an uncountable number of naked chicks on screen. “Sure, boobs and vaginas are great,” Salon.com says, “but where, egalitarians might ask, are all the penises?” Great question. Bring on the dongs and schlongs. More dicks in flicks! For now, for your reference — thank you to Salon and Gawker — here’s a quick list of popular movies featuring male full frontal nudity.

• BOOGIE NIGHTS
• WILD THINGS
• FORGETTING SARAH MARSHALL
• THE CRYING GAME
• BAD LIEUTENANT and THE PIANO (Big ups to Harvey Keitel for showing is stuff TWICE)
• THE PILLOW BOOK and YOUNG ADAM (Ewan McGregor)
• THERE’S SOMETHING ABOUT MARY
• CALIGULA
• COLOR OF NIGHT
• BROWN BUNNY
• SHORTBUS
• WATCHMEN (I know a guy who saw Billy Crudup’s junk on stage/film. He says said it’s gorgeous.)

Not too many, huh? :( If I’ve forgotten any US films with male full frontal, use the comments section to let me know. Why so few? “It is still a male-dominated business,” says film professor Sarah Riddick in an Associated Press interview. “[M]en are more likely to show female nudity.” Luckily, dudes outside the U.S. are more secure in their manhood and less terrified about filming other dudes’ junk. In fact, if you want to see Ewan McGregor’s penis in YOUNG ADAM, you simply have to watch England-born director David Mackenzie’s original British version of the film. Sony Classics castrated the scene when they imported it to the U.S. Kind of silly, right? McGregor to Premiere Magazine, “If I’d blown away 5,000 people with a semiautomatic machine gun, that would be fine. But I showed my penis [...] It does amuse me, the horrific violence that comes out of American cinema. But someone’s cock is too much?”

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Pssst! visit the “passions” section of the archives if you’re curious about my love of film, news and politics, soccer, travel, etc. Also, read my Huffington Post piece Turn on Your TV, It’s Time for Sex.

I recently wrote a piece about an upcoming, two-part series Sex on TV. It airs this Sunday, August 15, at 8:00 p.m. ET/PT on TV Guide Network. Read details here: Turn on Your TV. It’s Time for Sex! Now, for the trivia buffs among you, here are a few questions from material on the show.

TRUE OR FALSE: On Gilligan’s Island, Mary Ann could show her navel and Ginger could show cleavage, but neither was allowed to show both at the same time.

TRUE OR FALSE: Star Trek’s Captain Kirk and Uhura shared television’s first interracial screen kiss.

TRUE OR FALSE: TV’s first boy-on-boy kiss aired when Dan Renzi, an openly gay Rutgers University student on MTV’s Real World: Miami smooched his beau.

TRUE OR FALSE: “Sex and the City” showed full frontal male nudity twice during the series’ run.

TRUE OR FALSE: Bewitched’s Darrin and nose-wiggling Samantha were the first unmarried, onscreen couple to share a bed.

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Image courtesy This or That! America’s Favorite Burlesque Game Show.

When I was new to New York, Times Square used to be one of my favorite spots. Granted, I didn’t “hang out” there but — on television and in the movies — I’d seen Broadway and the skyscraper-lined blocks as well as the enormous billboards and illuminated neon lights. So, it was exciting to walk through it and think, “Whoa, this is New York and I actually live here now.” I still have those “whoa moments” but — now that I’m 5+ years in — they’re balanced against frustration with the high cost of living, irritation about the dating scene here and a newly acquired disdain for tourists. But, that’s neither here nor there. Back to Times Square.

Do you watch Mad Men? Last night, AMC screened the world premiere of one of television’s most talked about shows on Times Square’s giant screens for thousands of New Yorkers and tourists. (You know, right by where the ball drops on New Year’s Eve.) Here’s a picture from New York Daily News article Locals play dress-up at season 4 premiere of ‘Mad Men’ on giant screen in Times Square.

Given all the hoopla, it seems appropriate to make today’s Manly Monday question: Who’s your favorite Mad Men character? (If you’re new to the Funky Brown, Manly Mondays are weekly celebrations of everything male.) Don Draper is an obvious choice, but I’m wondering if a few of you have a more quirky pick for your favorite. Pete Campbell? That invisible brown guy* you’re sure must be there somewhere but we just haven’t seen him yet? ;)  Bertram Cooper? Feel free to use the comments section to tell us: Who’s your favorite Mad Men character?

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Article suggestion: Slate: Why “Mad Men” Is Afraid of Race

A couple years ago, I shot footage for Current TV. Love them. Just stumbled upon their Sex, Drugs and Movies segment of The Rotten Tomatoes Show, a weekly peek at film stuff hosted by Brett Erlich and Ellen Fox. As Brett and Ellen tell us, this episode “wallows in sin and vice — drinking, drugs, sex and more: The Top 5 Drunks, The Top 5 Stoners, How Not to Do a Drug Deal, the hottest animated characters, a song about hookers on film, and much more.” I’m a film buff, and I liked this clip so I’m sharing. A bit long, the drugs, foodgasms and kissing segments grabbed me much more than the ones about movie parties and drunks. Oh, and, where were the best sex scenes?! Totally expected to see that but didn’t. Did I miss it? Current, we like to watch! Give it to us :) In any case, here’s a lighthearted 20 minutes of hookers, 80s-style pajama jammy jams and other fun-filled stuff. Enjoy!

Holy fucking shit! Michael Patrick King I love you, but baby what happened?!?! :( Wait. Stop. I’ll rewind a bit … Hi :) As many of you know, I’m back from Atlantic City. I should take mini-vacations like that more often. Sure, AC had an unexpectedly high number of orange men with over-plucked eyebrows and uber-gelled hair. But, you know what? It also had beaches, cocktails, shopping, roulette, pools and friendly people who didn’t fit the first-pumping stereotype. I had fun and, when the weekend concluded, I was even more thrilled to return to NYC and catch my British bestie Zoe Margolis from Girl with a One Track Mind before she jetted back to London. We saw Sex and the City 2 in Midtown. Since a few of you on Twitter asked what I thought, here are my thoughts …

Sex and the City 2 Isn’t Like the Hit Show Sex and the City

I loved the HBO series Sex and the City. Remember 1998? It was the year we discovered then-President Bill Clinton stuck a cigar in Monica Lewinsky’s vagina, and she gave a blow job. Yet, few TV stations spoke to us as adults about what occurred. There was talk of a mysterious “sexual encounter” and a “relationship.” During the Barbara Walters interview, Lewinsky apologized for “what happened.” Thought, I don’t remember the media plainly saying, among other things: Bill Clinton stuck a cigar in Monica Lewinsky’s vagina, and she gave a blow job. Granted, I really don’t think their consensual affair was the country’s business, but my point is: That’s the sociocultural environment we were living in when Sex and the City first aired. Nevertheless, Carrie wondered aloud, When did men get the message that the ass is now on the menu? Miranda told us soul mates only exist in the Hallmark aisle of Duane Reade. Charlotte said her vagina was depressed. And, Samantha’s mouth? Shit, what didn’t come out of (or go into) it?! They were fun, interesting and invigorating. On camera, they participated in — and talked about — sex. A lot. I gobbled it up because I was hungry for frank discussions like that. Many of us were. I saw the first movie and thought it was good. However, when I heard SATC 2 was in production, my first thought was: It’s gonna suck!!!! With the exception of a few precious jewels (Before Sunset, T2, Aliens, Godfather II and others), second films are rarely as delightful as originals. Keeping in step, SATC 2 is worse than the first SATC movie and the show. Spoiler alert: None of the characters — except Kim Cattrall / Samantha — have sex. Yep, it’s true: You won’t see Carrie have sex. What’s more? Much of the movie is set in Abu Dhabi instead of Manhattan. With no sex and no city, it’s more like Celibacy in the UAE.

That said, Sex and the City 2 Isn’t THAT Bad.

Actually, given the absolutely abysmal Sex and the City 2 reviews, I entered Regal E-walk Cinemas on Monday practically expecting the screen to open and project vomit all over me. However, parts of the movie were really good. They just could’ve, you know, gone deeper.

Then again … Maybe It’s Not Them, It’s Me.

In my early twenties, I was in a longterm relationships with a guy I worried might be cheating on me but I didn’t have proof. Long story. For now, suffice it to say, whenever he mentioned the other woman, I felt disgusted, angry, frustrated, confused and irritated. If he was cheating on me, I thought I’d be an idiot for believing his words when he told me he was faithful. If he wasn’t cheating, I figured I was a nagging, annoying, insecure girlfriend who didn’t trust our relationship. That limbo feeling fucking sucked, and I didn’t think there was an easy way to be honest with my friends (and myself) by saying, “I’m worried my boyfriend is cheating, but I’m afraid to leave him because I don’t want to be single.” So, in SATC 2, when Charlotte thinks her hubby is fucking the nanny, it’s kind of hard to believe her when she says something like, “You know what my first thought was when I thought they were screwing around? ‘Oh no, I can’t loose the nanny. I need her to help with the kids!’ [Covers mouth to giggle, giggle, giggle]” You’ve got to be shitting me! SATC 2 was missing that “real women, real emotions” feel of its predecessor, the TV show.

Sex and the City Isn’t Really Like The City

New York is much browner and less wealthy than what’s presented in SATC. Each day I walk through my beloved Manhattan, I see black people ( … and Desis, Asians, Mexicans, Puerto Ricans, Muslims, tourists, overweight people, the homeless other varieties of shapes, sizes, income levels and hues …). Oddly those rich flavors are missing from SATC. I could write about that forever, but it’s a full topic for a different post. For now, let’s talk a bit about Carrie. It’s the Great Recession, yet Mrs. Bradshaw-Preston owns a not one but TWO apartments in Manhattan and gallivants to Abu Dhabi on a private airline. People, SHOES are all that matter!! Given the current economic climate, it seems a bit out of touch and decadent. Then again, maybe we like watching wealth when we’re poor and poverty when we’re wealthy? (In the economically-depressed eighties, people tuned in to watch big-haired, bejeweled Texans on Dallas. The financially booming late eighties / early 1990′s ushered in a working class family on Roseanne.)

Less bling, more heart.

Strolling down memory lane, here’s one of Carrie’s lines from the original TV show: “The most important thing in life is your family. There are days you love them, and others you don’t. But, in the end, they’re the people you always come home to. Sometimes it’s the family you’re born into and sometimes it’s the one you make for yourself.” Not only is that relatable, that sentiment — and the believability of the four female characters’ bond — drove the original series’ success. THAT’S the secret ingredient missing from the new movie.

In a recent post called Straight Woman Dating Bisexual / Bi Curious Guys, I mentioned a few of my exes were bi. After reading that, a concerned Funky Brown Chick reader I’ll call “Albert” emailed me to gently warn, among other things, dating bisexual men might cause me to “contract AIDS.” For what it’s worth, as a sexually active adult & a health nut — even though I use condoms like, almost, always — I still get tested on a regular basis. See: NYC’s List of Free & Confidential Clinics for testing sites.

I’m not HIV+, nor do I have AIDS. That said, as someone who writes about sex & relationships (gay, straight & other), I have to say Albert’s message made me kind of sad. It reminded me tons of negative misconceptions still exist about the LGBTQ community’s health — namely, the assumption that all gay & bisexual men have STDs and/or the virus.

Allowing an HIV- bisexual man’s penis to enter my body with a condom wrapped around it is much less risky than barebacking it with an HIV+ straight dude. Mayor Clinic, NIH, CDC, GMHC, the U.S. Department of Health & Human Services and others maintain great resource sites for information about HIV/AIDS. Check ‘em out. There’s TONS information available to those who’d like to learn more. I’m not saying all of the information out there is good, but there’s a lot of it.

That PSA aside, I wanted to say I was also happy to get Albert’s email because it inspired this post. As I’ve said many times before, my favorite thing about this site is that it allows me to interact with readers — unlike, say, print newspaper or magazine articles that don’t appear online and/or don’t have comments sections.  I like engaging in healthy conversations about sex, sexuality and intimacy. So, if you’ve never shared your thoughts in the comments section, I encourage you to do so in a future post. Also, for what it’s worth, if you like reading Funky Brown Chick, reading the comments section might introduce you to a few other fun people who read this site, too. Though I haven’t responded to thoughts shared on Straight Woman Dating Bisexual / Bi Curious Guys post yet, I’ve read them. Nando, the Mexican dude featured in my 5 Tips: Oral Sex Performed on the Penis, was first to weigh in. Rachel, Baba Doodlius, Janelle, Darnell, Miko Holt, Puma73, Arielle Loren, Pamela, Lady M, dkzone, A, Christian and Tom had a lot to say too. That is all. Just a quick post to talk about things spinning in my head since receiving the email about bisexuality & AIDS.