May 152013
 

TRANSCRIPT: ”Friendly Dating Advice” from Reverse Cowboys.

FRIENDS HIM HER
How was yoga, bitch? 

A date?!

No one still goes out on dates.

What is this, 1985?!

Yeah, let’s fire up the flux capacitor and go on a date, Zack Morris!

DINNER?!?!

He said it ironically, right?
Yeah, uhhh, like we should go on a date to the olive garden. Bet?

 

Guys don’t take girls out to dinner anymore. They invite you to their apartment to watch …

A movie on Netflix.

Or bring you to see his friend’s band play.

Or out shoplifting.

Spot him while he lifts weights.

Take a shot of whiskey and slap each other.

Go dancing in a club and let him rub his boner on you.

Or, to the bedroom for a casual encounter.

Let him, just, put stuff inside you.

Or, even better, if she brings two friends.

And then we can do a group thing at a bar so they’re less pressure on you.

 

HE’S weird

You know that girl I’ve been telling you about?

 

 

 

What’s wrong with asking a girl to dinner?

He asked me out on a date.

 

 

 

 

 

 

No. What’s the big deal?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I don’t know. That feels weird.

SUPER weird.Unless it’s sexy.

You should …Just forget about him. What do you say we fire up your OKCupid account

 

And reply to the first cute guy who says anything other than, “Heeeeey, sup?” Or…

“Need dick?”

YEAH! Say: “Need dick?!’”

 

 

 

NOOOOOOOOOOO!!

 

Make him leave a voicemail.

And then break it down and you’ll know how to respond.

What are you doing, man?

Aaaaarrrrrgggghhh!

 

 

 

FUCK

 

 

Sorry.

 

 

 

 

BOTH?

 

Pick you up?!

In what, a stagecoach?!

 

Is it weird for me to text her now? 

 

 

 

 

 

 

You know what? I’m just going to call her.

 

It’s ringing

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hello?

 

 

SHH!

 

Hey, it’s Avery from yoga

 

So, I was thinking …

 

Great. I-I’ll pick you up at 8?

 

 

 

 

See ya.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

He’s calling me right now!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hello?

 

 

SHH!

 

Hey

 

Yeah, dinner and a movie sounds

 

 

8 is perfect. See ya then.

 

 

See ya then!

 

 

Does s/he have any friends? 

 

There’s more after the credits, but I really like it better cut there.

Photo by Jack Snell

Photo by Jack Snell

May 132013
 

Description: Lovers, if you missed the New York City taping, How To Be A Grown A$$ Woman is available streaming on your laptop, iPad, or mobile screen. WNYC hosted the live event with me, Jezebel writer and “full-time moral scold” Lindy West, Gawker’s Ask a Clean Person Jolie Kerr, and TheBillfold co-editor Logan Sachon for a radio pilot at The Greene Space.

Country: United States

Broadcast: Live event at WNYC (New York Public Radio) The Greene Space, 44 Charlton St, New York, NY

ProgramHow To Be A Grown A$$ Woman.

Length: 01:01:46

GAW_ecard

Apr 302013
 

No one ever teaches us how to be adults. We learn it in our own way, on our own timelines. We fuck up. We give up. We hurt people. I really want to see you in lower Manhattan when I tape a radio pilot, How to Be A Grown A$$ Woman, at New York Public Radio’s The Greene Space. Come to the event to learn how to be a responsible adult in relationships, both personal and professional. Don’t expect neatly-packaged answers explaining “How To Please Your Man in 15 Ways with a Cucumber!!!” You’re smarter and deserve more than that. This also isn’t an event teaching those “other people” how to act right. It’s for you. For me. For all of us who’ve fumbled through figuring life out. It’s a meaningful conversation with How to Be a Person author Lindy West, Gawker’s Ask a Clean Person Jolie Kerr, TheBillfold co-editor Logan Sachon, and me. We’ll teach you how to clean up your messes, whether physical, financial, or emotional.

Your panel of knowledge droppers.

Your panel of knowledge droppers.

I can’t promise the four of us will agree on everything, though I have other guarantees. How about this: a free drink! A complimentary glass of wine or beer comes with your ticket because grown-ass people deserve booze. I can also promise I won’t say words like “shit” or “fuck.” It’s public radio! An experienced mediamaker, I know how to behave audience-appropriately. Heads up; The Greene Space events are popular. Buy your ticket today because it’s likely to sell out:

HOW TO BE A GROWN A$$ WOMAN
Monday, May 13, 2013 7:00 PM
Tickets: $15 includes a complimentary glass of wine or beer
Duration: 1 hour, 30 minutes
Venue: The Greene Space, 44 Charlton Street, New York, NY (corner of Varick Street)

See you there!

Apr 152013
 

Let’s be clear: I think anyone who wants to marry should be able to marry. Full stop. Period. In addition to that, a key ingredient missing from the equation is this: Single people hooking up, shacking up, or dating — whether someone of the same sex or not — are getting screwed. Read Lisa Arnold and Christina Campbell’s piece in the Atlantic, “The High Price of Being Single in America.” Ignoring their sociobabble phrases like “institutionalized singlism,” the article’s premise is a good one: marriage equality is only part of the equation.

Image by Andre Chinn

Image by Andre Chinn

When I lived in The Netherlands, I really thought the Dutch got it right with samenwoning. The literal translation is “living together,” and it was somewhat equal to the English word cohabitation. In other words, the Dutch grant legal and financial rights to grown-ass people who partner with consenting adult(s), however they wish. As it now stands, when marriage equality passes in the U.S., as I believe it should and will, I could receive legal and tax benefits if I were a lesbian married to “Jenny;” however, I could be financial and legally penalized for living with my boyfriend “Jerome.” According to Communication League for Unmarried Equality (CLUE), here are a few things to consider:

In fact, many of the adoption, hospital visits, inheritance, taxation and other inequalities same-sex couples experience are a direct result of a system that privileges people who marry at the expense of those who don’t. Given Americans are marrying at later ages, living longer, and divorcing more, we’re spending a greater percentage of our lives as singles. If it’s really about fairness, how about this: Let consenting adults who want to marry do so, and don’t penalize those who don’t marry.

Apr 092013
 

Stupid Math Problems

public sociologist, numbers get me really hot and bothered. Fewer people would hate math if they learned it in a practical way. Who really cares about the probability of selecting a red ball out of a bag? Also, public trust in statistics might increase if researchers more fully disclosed their how they came up with their numbers. (Remember when I showed you guys how Freakanomics botched reporting on interracial kids?) In an effort to show you how fun numbers can be, let’s use stats to answer this question: How many Asian chicks are hooking up with white dudes?

THE QUESTION

“Asia” is a huge continent with its people spread throughout the entire world. Let’s limit our search to Asian Americans because I’m nationalist like that. USA! USA! Also, I’ll stick with marriage and cohabiting data instead of “hooking up.” It’s more straight forward and easier to quantify: People are either married (or living together) or they aren’t. Good news is reputable statisticians, my “merry band of Lovable Nerds” at the U.S. Census Bureau, already collect this data. So, I can crunch it to answer even better questions: How many Asian American women (and men!) marry or cohabit interracially? Further, when they do cohabit or marry interracially, is it true that they’re pairing off with white people?

ANSWERS

Because I wanted the answers to be easy to understand and available to all, I worked with my friend PK to create simple infographics. The images tell you where I got the data, explain how to contact me if you have questions, and include all sources to pay credit where credit is due.

Asian American Interracial Marriage StatisticsAsian American Interracial Cohabitation Statistics

For larger versions, or to copy and paste these goodies to your non-commercial website, here are the images:

Asian American Marriage Rates
How often to Asian Americans marry interracially?
How often do Asian Americans cohabit interracially?
Interracial Relationships: Asian Americans and the National Average
Asian American Interracial Relationships [all graphics in one image]

MARRIAGE: Approximately 91% of Asian American men marry women who are Asian American, and only 9% marry interracially. Of Asian American women, more than 1 in 5 marry interracially. When their partners aren’t Asian American, the men’s wives (71%) and the women’s husbands (79%) are most likely to be white.

COHABITATION: Of the Asian American men with live-in girlfriends, 66% of those women are Asian American and 34% are not Asian American. Of the women living with their boyfriends, only 45% of their dudes are Asian American because the majority of these women cohabit interracially.

THAT’S ALL VERY INTERESTING, BUT …

Consider this: The U.S. Census reports about 77% of Americans are white. It makes sense that Asian Americans have more husbands, wives, girlfriends, and boyfriends who are white, given they make up a larger percentage of the population. That said, look at the charts again. Given the field of eligibles, with Asian American women marrying white men as the sole exception, these couplings are actually less white than they could be (i.e. < 77%).

Putting it all together.

Asian American Interracial Relationships Statistics

WHO IS “ASIAN” ANYWAY?

In the graphics above, I counted as “Asian” anyone solely checking the “Asian” U.S. Census box which includes: Asian Indian, Chinese, Filipino, Japanese, Korean, Vietnamese, or Other Asian. Not included in this category are Native Hawaiian, Guamanian, Samoan, or Other Pacific Islanders. Also not included are people who self-identify as hapa (e.g. Asian American and another race/ethnicity). With all data, how you cut it matters; slice it differently, you may yield slightly altered results. Hence, the importance of disclosing what you’re counting and how you’re counting it. As I mentioned in Guess Who Likes to F*ck Asians?:

The U.S. Census might not necessarily count a Korean American husband with a Japanese American wife as an interethnic couple; however, a Filipina wife who self-identifies as Asian and her Filipino husband who self-identifies as Asian race and Hispanic/Latino ethnicity could be considered an interethnic couple. That’s the problem with trying to touch socially-constructed concepts such as “race” and “ethnicity.” If it doesn’t really exist and isn’t fully tangible, how can you accurately describe it? Read More

PSST …

The PBS documentary SEEKING ASIAN FEMALE has a six-part companion web series THEY’RE ALL SO BEAUTIFUL, and I’m a contributor. These graphics also appear there. By the way, I must say PK and I make absolutely gorgeous blasian artistic collaborations. Stats + Design = Infographic. Twanna = Black. PK = Asian. Twanna + PK = READY TO ROCK YOUR WORLD! ;) If you’re a media outlet, you should hire us. We’re working on something pretty fantastic, and we’d like to tell you about it.

Mar 212013
 
Seeking Asian Female

Left to Right: Debbie, Sandy, and Steven. SEEKING ASIAN FEMALE

You have to see documentary film SEEKING ASIAN FEMALE. Steven is an old American dude who wants a young, beautiful Chinese bride. Sandy meets him online and flees Anhui, China, to marry him in California. She doesn’t speak English, and he doesn’t speak Mandarin. Chinese American documentary filmmaker Debbie Lum captures it all on film. You’ll cringe as much as you laugh. It’s called “a quirky, intensely intimate, totally captivating story about love, marriage, ‘yellow fever’… and documentary filmmaking.” Last year, I met Debbie and saw her film; I can’t recommend it highly enough.

SEEKING ASIAN FEMALE is rolling through the festival circuit and sells out often. If you’re in the San Francisco Bay Area, grab rush tickets for the already sold-out 5:00pm, 3/23, CAAMFEST 2013 screening at New People theater. As a bonus, you’ll get a sneak-peek at Debbie’s six-part web series They’re All So Beautiful, which launches April 1. If you’re outside San Francisco, stay tuned to the website for They’re All So Beautiful‘s debut and catch SEEKING ASIAN FEMALE when PBS airs it May 6. In the meantime, be sure to read Debbie’s AskMen.com piece covering Myths about Dating Asian Women:

  • Myth No. 1: Asian women make perfect wives. They have good family values and cater to the man.
  • Myth No. 2: Asian Women are sweet, innocent and submissive.
  • Myth No. 3: An American man is an Asian woman’s “ticket to a better life.”
  • Myth No. 4: Asian women are sex-crazed, and sex with Asian women is easy.

You’re curious to hear what she has to say. Go ahead, read Asian Women And White Men.

Mar 182013
 
Photo by Katherine (Edinburgh, Scotland)

Photo by Katherine (Edinburgh, Scotland)

Hmmm, I don’t really know him; we just went to the same high school and later linked up on Facebook. Nevertheless, I second guess: What the hell? Don’t be stingy with greetings, Twanna. Might brighten his day.

  • 9:48am. Twanna writes on Jack Shea‘s timeline …

I don’t realize I’m wishing a dead man H-A-P-P-Y B-I-R-T-H-D-A-Y-!-! until a friend privately clues me in that he passed away two years ago. It appears he died on his birthday. Seeing my exclamation point-laden greeting among heartfelt condolences from his family makes me feel like I’ve brought ¡¡¡Margaritas!!! to a vigil. [Tiptoes backwards and thinks: "Oh, shit! I feel really awful that I didn't know. Sorry, everybody.] Memorializing a loved one’s Facebook account is the digital equivalent of cremating, burying, and/or printing obituaries. In the absence of such rituals recognizing the death, how will others know they’re gone? Mashable’s How 1 Billion People Are Coping With Death and Facebook discusses Facebook dead people:

If a dead user’s timeline sits un-memorialized, that profile can appear in Facebook Suggestions, such as the “People You May Know” sidebar on the homepage. Their birthdays reappear year after year in the news feed sidebar, prompting well-wishes from individuals unaware of the death. Read more.

Those who’ve experienced a loved one’s passing know the relationship and its influence on our lives often continue long after they’re gone. Regarding digital rights and responsibilities of — and for — the dearly departed, managing online accounts is a new addition to the list that includes closing credit cards and cleaning out their home. For those who keep accounts active, perhaps Facebook is a place to view photos, write “we miss you” messages, and otherwise cherish the marks they’ve left on their lives. I don’t have anything witty, funny, or further to add about my high school classmate, and I won’t pretend I knew him better than I did. What remains is, over the weekend, I wished a dead man “Happy Birthday!!” on the second anniversary of his death. It was awkward.

Mar 152013
 
Image by Leland

Image credit: Leland

You say Generation Y. I say Millennials. Po-TAY-toe. Po-TAH-toe. Research shows us folks born in the very late 1970s / early 1980s are calling the whole “traditional” marriage thing off:

Hear global voices from Denmark, Kenya, Brazil, Spain, Singapore, the UK and elsewhere in MTV Voices‘ teen video about matrimony. What’s the best age to marry? Is marriage outdated? Listen to opinions in Global Newscast – Young And Married.

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