Shall we chat about that ever-shrinking, teeny pool of eligible black men available to successful black women? :) Have you seen the news headlines? ABC news: Why Can’t a Successful Black Woman Find a Man? The Washington Post: Single Black Women Being Urged to Date Outside Race (read: because there aren’t enough good black men). The New York Times says Black Women See Fewer Black Men at the Altar. The Economist writes about Sex and the single black woman. And, Nightline did a full segment on it. THE WRITING IS ON THE WALL, PEOPLE!!!! Successful, single black women are on the fasttrack to spinsterhood. We’ll soon all die alone among legions of house casts lapping up Fancy Feasts of our dead flesh. Or, um, something like that. YeahÂ ;)
I’m interested in these headlines because, of course, I’m a single black woman. Needless to say, NO ONE wants to believe they’re going to die unloved and alone. So, though I’ve been reading this stuff, I don’t get totally freaked out because: I haven’t always been single; intuitively, I know I won’t be on my own forever; I’d like to cohabit (not marry) anyway; and, I’m okay being solo for the moment. That aside, I don’t think the authors of these articles have me in mind anyway. Because, afterall, I’m not a black woman who limits my dating pool exclusively to black men. There are tons of sexy & eligible black, Latino, white, Desi and Asian dudes. Mmmmm, yeah, don’t EVEN get me started on how much I drool over Jon Yongfook. Remember, he was a Testicle Tuesday pick about 16 months ago? Hot. Someone move that boy to New York!!! Anywho. Where was I? Oh, yes. Single black women.
A few of you — male & female, black, white and other — emailed me to ask what I think about the recent media coverage re: Said Plight of Black Women. I’m working on a piece about it. In the meantime, instead of summarizing those thoughts here, you can read what IÂ — along with a fabulous group of women including Latoya Peterson, Abiola Abrams and Sista Toldjah – said when asked: What the hell is up with all these articles about successful, manless black women?! Read Jezebel‘s Steve Harvey Joins Lori Gottlieb, Tells Women To Just Settle Already.
Single Ladies image by Daniela Moreno for Felipe Beiza.