Twanna A. Hines @ FUNKYBROWNCHICK.com | sex. dating. relationships.

Who’s the Cutest Bromance Couple?

A couple days ago, a friend commented: “Good Will Hunting is the original Bromance movie.” At first, I agreed. I mean, who could forget Ben Affleck and Matt Damon’s ridiculously cute acceptance speech at the 70th Annual Academy Awards!??! But, hold on there kiddies. On-screen, intimate friendships between men (Bromances) existed before Ben & Matt were born. Remember Jerry Lewis and that Dean Martin guy? Or, what about Will Smith and Martin Lawrence? Chris Tucker and Jackie Chan? I don’t know who can claim the “First Bromance” title (Marx brothers? Laurel & Hardy?), but I’d love to know your opinion:  Which Coupling is the CUTEST bromance? Feel free to use the comments section below to leave your suggestions. If you need inspiration, LA Times has a 11 Brands of Bromance slideshow. My vote: Gael García Bernal and Diego Luna.

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Photo credit: LA Times - 11 Brands of Bromance

Technorati Tags: Brad Pitt, bromance, couples, dating, Diego Luna, funky brown chick, funkybrownchick, Gael Garcia Bernal, George Clooney, mancrush, Men, Twanna A. Hines

June 15th, 2009 | Print This Post | link | Email This Post | [14] folks got down with the Funky Brown

Men’s Minds: What’s the Difference Between a Flirt and a Cocktease?

It’s the top of the week and, as usual, Mondays are “manly” here at Funky Brown Chick where the day kicks off with a tribute to a particular guy, mantrend or other male-related topic. Today, we’re going to look at the minds of men. Matt Hutson has an article in the May/June issue of Psychology Today called “Romantic Road Signs: Studies identify what cues people use to judge a lady’s sexual openness.” I was going to write about it sooner, but I’d tucked the piece into a deep crevice in my brain and it didn’t reappear until last weekend. After The Webutante Ball, Rachel, Nichelle, Sherri, Lauren and I went to 212 Bar and got into a goofy conversation about “sexual teasing” — i.e. giving off clues that you’re sexually open when you’re not. To be clear, I fully admit I’m a  flirt. I flirt with men, women, friends, lovers, waiters, puppy dogs and almost any other living thing on the planet. And, of course, I like kissing boys. Who doesn’t like to be showered with attention, be made to feel attractive and be the objection of affection? Men like that. Women like that. Everyone does, no? So, if I see a guy who’s cute and sweet, I’ll flirt with him. It puts a smile on his face and it makes him feel good. But, that doesn’t mean I want to fuck the guy or that I expect him to sleep with me. In my mind, we’re just having light and charming fun. Perhaps, men see it differently? And, I think that was the topic of my (possible) disagreement with the girls the other night.

ME: “I get called a tease quite often.”

The Girls: [chiming] “We’re not surprised.”

I don’t think smiling, blowing kisses, touching someone’s thigh under the table or any other actions from the flirting toolbox connote: I am going to have sex with you. So, how do you let a guy know that you ARE interested in having sex? In short, here’s what I think my girlfriends sitting around the table at the bar thought: Be smart. If you go back to a guy’s place alone, please know that he’ll think you want to sleep with him. So, if you don’t want to have sex, don’t go back to his place. We don’t want you to get hurt. I disagreed … or, maybe I agreed and we were just saying the exact same thing using different words.

I think I SHOULD be able to flirt with a guy and, possibly, even go back to his place without him: (1) raping me or (2) thinking I’m a cocktease* if I don’t fuck him. BUT, because I feel like I live in a world where the power (burden?) of flipping the yes/no sex switch often seems to fall squarely on women’s shoulders, I usually don’t go back to a date’s place alone unless I’m almost positive I’d have sex with him. Does that make me a tease? I say no. Or, to paraphrase what one of my readers, Raymond, said the last time I wrote about this topic: Flirting doesn’t make you a tease. If you give a guy a snack, it doesn’t automatically mean he gets the run of the kitchen. My thoughts exactly. What say you? How would you define “a flirt” vs. “a cocktease“? (SIDENOTE: By the way, for the record, I hate that word cocktease because it’s sooooo sex negative / loaded — and, not to mention, men are rarely if ever called a vag tease when they flirt.)

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Image by Sanja Gjenero

Technorati Tags: cocktease, dating, flirting, Men, relationships, sex, singles, teasing, vag tease, women

June 8th, 2009 | Print This Post | link | Email This Post | [12] folks got down with the Funky Brown

How to Shave Your Balls

Question of the day: Clean-shaven balls … Hot or Not? (via Jezebel)

Technorati Tags: balls, bodyshaving, genitals, Gillette, how to shave, Men, pubes, shave, shaving, testicles, tips

June 1st, 2009 | Print This Post | link | Email This Post | [20] folks got down with the Funky Brown

Top 5 Favorite Posts about Men

I had a fairly emotionally draining morning. I can’t go into details because it’s private. Suffice it to say: Moving always makes me feel sooooo incredibly frustrated because it’s the one of few times in my life when I physically can’t “do everything on my own” — i.e. move 15 boxes of shit, a 7′0″ couch, a marble table and a whole fuckload of other stuff up and down several flights of stairs; so, I have to depend on others. And, it’s quite painful to: (1) almost be left completely in the lurch when I need help the most and (2) feel like I’m at the very bottom of an extremely long list of priorities. Everything should sort itself out soon, and I should be COMPLETELY in the new place before next week. I hope. Anyway. Needless to say, I don’t feel like writing a lighthearted, funny “Manly Monday” or goofy “Testicle Tuesday” post today. Soooo not in the mood. So, if you wanna get your funky brown fix on, check out the male archives to view some of the top reader favorite posts about men you might’ve missed from the past:

• Penises: Cut vs. Uncut

• How to Hide an Erection

• Why Do Men Date GILFs, MILFs and Other Older Women?

• How to Love A Submissive Man

• Top 10 Hottest DILFs

Technorati Tags: funky brown chick, funkybrownchick, Manly Monday, Testicle Tuesday, Twanna A. Hines

May 26th, 2009 | Print This Post | link | Email This Post | [7] folks got down with the Funky Brown

What About Transgendered Little Boys and Girls?

“Someone suggested [I] write to you,” a reader shot me a email, “and ask you if you could [write] about Transsexual women in New York.” Oooh, sex & gender benders!! I love it. What better Manly Monday topic could there be than men who used to be women and women who used to be men? A while ago, MSNBC did a documentary called Born in the Wrong Body. It was actually pretty good. Watch clips from the show here. Also, one of the individuals featured, Cris Beam, wrote a book called Transparent: Love, Family, and Living the T with Transgender Teenagers; you can read an excerpt at MSNBC or buy the book online.

I live in New York. Bumping into transgendered people is as common as meeting lefthanders. Although I know several trannies — acquaintances, former coworkers, friends of friends, etc. — I only have one real “friend.” When I met him 11 years ago, he was a gay black man. More recently, he began the process of becoming a woman. (Sidenote: He says society is more accepting of MtF transsexuals than it is of effeminate gay black men.) To be honest, it’s taking me a bit longer than I though it would to wrap my head around the change. It’s the little things. For example, we went out with a group of people a while ago. The next day, a German friend “F” asked something about “your friend, the girl we went out with the other night. What’s her name?” I rambled off a list of all the women in the group — forgetting one. Quite honestly, until that moment, I don’t think I realized I wasn’t treating “her” like a “woman”; instead my mind classified “my guy friend” as a “transsexual.” Interestingly (though understandably), the community also self refers as transsexuals, transgendered and trannies … not solely “women” and “men.”

But, back to the MSNBC documentary. I think they did a nice job at balancing young and old, MtF and FtM examples. It was interesting to notice many of the people featured talked about common themes: noticing something was “different” from a very young age; feeling born to the wrong body; experiencing rejection from loved one(s); and thinking the choice was either suicide or a sex change. I’ve heard similar things from the mouths of acquaintances as well as other pop culture documentaries like BBC’s My Secret Female Body. Here’s a question that came to mind after watching the MSNBC segment about the 16-year-old boy Jake (nee Julia): Should teens be allowed to have sex reassignment surgery if desired? Leave your thoughts in the comments section. Head’s up! I’m not interested in shitty “that’s gross” comments about our lovely transgendered folks. (Why? Because take it elsewhere. Assholes are 100% free to be assholes–just not in my [online] home.) I’m also not particularly interested interested in passive aggressive personal attacks about me using the word — or, I might add, transsexuals self-referring to be — “trannies.” (Why? Because fuck haters. As Mollena brilliantly notes: “[S]ome people look for slings and arrows even from allies and empathizers.”) That stuff aside, I’m geniunely curious to hear your thoughts: Should teens be allowed to have sex reassignment surgery if desired?

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Image by Dominik Gwarek

Technorati Tags: BBC, Born in the Wrong Body, documentary, family, funky brown chick, funkybrownchick, MSNBC, My Secret Female Body, sexuality, trannies, tranny, transgender, transgendered, TransGriot, Transparent, transvestite, Twanna A. Hines

March 30th, 2009 | Print This Post | link | Email This Post | [29] folks got down with the Funky Brown

Manly Monday: Do Men Look Good Naked?

I like looking at nude men. I like the firmness of their bodies, and I think it’s great their contours are so different from women’s. If I’m really into a guy and we’re having sex for the first time, I want to feel the full length and weight of his bare flesh press and rub against mine. And, when he cums, I want to look directly at his face; it feels more intimate that way. Watching men get turned on turns me on. By the way … not that this has anything to do with anything but … I’m soooooo becoming addicted to watching Beautiful Agony videos on YouTube and DailyMotion at all hours of the day and night. I don’t think I’d ever do a public sex tape, but I’d honestly consider uploading something to that site. Um, so, yeah — depending on your perspective — I guess that either makes me “only slightly” or officially “very” pervy. But, whatever. ;)

Ummmmmm … What was I hell was I talking about? Obviously, I need to get laid. Anyway, so, yes, today’s Manly Monday topic is: male nudity. A 31-year-old German artist / self-professed swinger named Sebastian Kempa (visit his MySpace or personal site) runs a website / art project called Naked People. A reader / friend, Error boy, forwarded it to me. Basically, it’s exactly what it sounds like: a bunch of naked people. If you’d like to see Sebastian Kempa male and female nudes, simply mouseclick the photos. Hmmmm … I know a bunch of people — straight women, gay men, lesbian and straight dudes alike, by the way — who think the male nude body looks kind of goofy. What say you? Do men look good naked?

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PS: Saw This Film is Not Yet Rated on IFC last night. Fascinating! They talk about the politics of NC-17 ratings and, of course, a bit about male full frontal. TOTALLY worth watching!

Technorati Tags: Beautiful Agony, funky brown chick, funkybrownchick, IFC, male, Manly Mondays, naked, Naked People, nude, nudity, Sebastian Kempa, This Film is Not Yet Rated, Twanna A. Hines

March 9th, 2009 | Print This Post | link | Email This Post | [19] folks got down with the Funky Brown

“Slumdog Millionaire Sucks”

I knew I’d hate Slumdog Millionaire. Everyone I know ( … and I mean EVERYONE … ) who’d seen the movie told me: “You have to see it. You would love it.” I can be stubborn; so, I made up my mind: I was going to hate it. No film, no matter how great, can live up to such hype. Nevertheless, I went to see it “just in case” my friends were right. Plus, I hate it when I wait so long to see a movie that someone ruins the end for me, sing-songingly apologizing, “Soooory, I thought you saw it already.”

I go to the 7 pm showing at The Angelika Film Center — a cutesy little arthouse film center on Houston Street with a coffee shop as a lobby decorated with dainty cafe tables and wireframe chairs. The place is packed even though the film has been out for weeks. “Oh, now I know I’m going to hate this,” I figure. I don’t usually follow the pack on movies; I’ve vomitted over tons of flicks others thought were brilliant. (Jurassic Park, Harry Potter, Gangs of New York, Indochine and Monsoon Wedding come to mind.)

Unusual for me, I skip popcorn and pop to head straight to the theater. I get a good seat dead center. Lights go out. Film starts. For the first five minutes, I hate it. I mumble under my breath, “It is written … Slumdog Millionaire sucks!” But, seriously, by the sixth or seventh minute in … I fell in love. Shocking, right? Honestly, I surprised myself by liking this movie so much. Granted, I’m a Danny Boy fan. Trainspotting and 28 Days Later rock. Also, I love movies with cinematography that show lushly colored scenery (e.g. Baz Luhrman’s Paris in Moulin Rouge and Ang Lee’s American West in Brokeback Mountain). And, yeah, I like foreign film better than homegrown stuff. But, yeah, I still thought I wouldn’t like Slumdog. Yeah. Anyway. If you haven’t seen it yet, I highly reccommend it. I’m sure people walk away from it with different messages; for me, it was about how heartbreakingly painful and sad life can be — even when it’s progressing “exactly as it should.” Cue Max Ehrmann’s Desiderata.

Dev Patel is today’s Manly Monday pick. He’s the dude who plays the lead, Jamal Malik — doing it in a way that makes him seem honest and hopeful, yet not naive. Jaded and frustrated, but optimistic. Damn, I’d like to write more about him and the movie but I don’t want to ruin it if you haven’t seen it. If you’ve already bought and used a ticket to see it, I’d love to hear your impressions. Let’s chat about it in the comments section? By the way, thanks and big drippy kisses to Fox Searchlight Pictures for making the behind-the-scenes footage below available:

Technorati Tags: Danny Boyle, Dev Patel, funky brown chick, funkybrownchick, Hines, Slumdog Millionaire, Twanna

January 12th, 2009 | Print This Post | link | Email This Post | [30] folks got down with the Funky Brown

The Best of 2008 Manly Mondays

Oh, the pressure. The pressure!! If this is your first time getting down with the funky brown, Manly Mondays are weekly celebrations of everything wonderful about M-E-N. Sometimes we drool over a particular guy; however, more often than not, we gab about general testosterone-related subjects of the day. I wasn’t sure who should be the first Manly Monday pick for 2009. Barack Obama would be an obvious choice, but I’m saving that delicious nibble of a man until inauguration because I’m going to DC for the festivities. In the spirit of “closing” last year, here’s a round up of some of my — and, based on comments, your — favorite 2008 Manly Monday picks. Enjoy!

The Brown Chick Who Sometimes Dates White Dudes
I like my milk like I like my men. White with no fat.

Are Good Guys Drawn to Bad Girls?
Is it true that good guys are drawn to “bad girl” girlfriends, but they settle down with women they think would make “good girl” wives? (For the flipside, is it true that good girls are drawn to “bad boy” boyfriends, but they settle down with men they think would make “good” husbands?) BONUS: For my views on the “good girl” vs. “bad girl” bullshit, read: Twanna, The Madonna Whore.

How to Hide an Erection
Funny, informational video that provides excellent tips for concealing unexpected boners.

Manly, Hot, Asian-American Men
“[S]tatistics show that ‘Asian man/black woman’ is the least common of all interracial combinations, representing less than 0.01 percent of all marriages in the United States — a total of just 6,000 couples across the entire country.” Change starts at home; I’m ready to be part of the solution.

Top 10 Hottest DILFs (Dads I’d Like To Fuck)
Men with children have never been hot … until now.

A Guy’s Perspective on Thr33somes
ROYAL YOUNG: While discussing fine wines with Twanna at an East Village loft after party for a reading at Gramercy Park National Arts Club, she told me she had just had a thr33some. “I’m writing about my thr33some!” I exclaimed. Being a dude, I was eager to hear it from a ladies’ perspective, especially since the two ladies involved in mine had jilted me.

Penises: Cut vs. Uncut
Light-hearted discussion about the relative merits of circumcision.

Who’s Responsible for Orgasms? Men or Women?
When two people are in bed together, are both entitled to an orgasm if each desires (and is able to have) one?

How to Buy Men’s Sex Toys
Learn more about (or purchase) the toys.

H-A-W-T!!!! Jon Yongfook
Fuck. Look at him. God, he’s gorgeous, isn’t he? In his own words, Yongfook hails from “Her Majesties United Kingdom of Great Britain Scones Tea Cricket Beer.” Beauty *and* a sense of humor?!?! Somebody dip this man in honey and bring him to me so I can lick him!!

Men Who Like BBW Sex
I think a blogger named Mollena hit the nail on the head when she said: “I do not think that there is a correlation between sexual activity and weight.”

Does Size Matter?
I could espouse the joys of being with a big guy. At the same time, I’ve certainly had thrilling “Os” with little guys who really knew how to work their magic and please women. Does size matter? Or, is technique more important?

Technorati Tags: Hines, Manly Monday, Twanna

January 5th, 2009 | Print This Post | link | Email This Post | [4] folks got down with the Funky Brown