Twanna A. Hines @ FUNKYBROWNCHICK.com | sex. dating. relationships.

Manly Monday: The Man Who Went To Paris, With Love

How could I NOT make the dude from Google’s Parisian Love Super Bowl commercial today’s Manly Monday?!?! Wait. Okay. Back up. Maybe I should start by explaining, yes, I watched “the football.” As many of you know, I’m not a sports fan … unless we’re talking about soccer. Nevertheless, I agreed to party with Gene and Peter. Game, schmame. I wanted to watch the commercials & kick back a few beers with my two guy friends. I was happy the Saints won. Sad there were so many ad guys angry about vagina out there. And delighted the Google commercial was so heartwarming. For me, “Parisian Love” struck a chord because reminded me how life is much more about happenstance than it is about sticking to very carefully laid plans. Start off heading in one direction, follow wherever the “search” may lead. Simple. Beautiful. Kudos, Google. Did the rest of you watch the Superbowl, too?

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Reminder: Match.com got down with the Funky Brown. Don’t forget to enter the free giveaway.

Technorati Tags: football, funky brown chick, funkybrownchick, Google, Google Super Bowl Ad, Parisian Love, Twanna A. Hines

February 8th, 2010 | Print This Post | link | Email This Post | [5] folks got down with the Funky Brown

Manly Monday Poll: Should Men Wax Their Chest Hair?

If you’ve been to Funky Brown Chick before, you know we kick the week off with Manly Monday — joyful celebrations of a particular man and/or a testosterone-filled idea. In recent weeks, we’ve talked about Tiger Woods, penis size and men who fake orgasms. Inspired by a Chicago friend (Nestor Brûlée), today’s manly topic is: chest hair removal. I don’t know if Nestor’s torso sprouts fur because, unfortunately, I’ve never seen him naked. We only discussed chest hair after I shared a 90s Marky Mark Calvin Klein commercial featuring Mark Walhberg’s (huge package and) smooth, hairless pecs on my Facebook. “Waxed chests,” Nestor commented, “yea or nay?”

As I’ve said plenty o’ times: There’s absolutely nothing wrong with loving a hairy man. Actually, all things being equal, I’m usually more likely to be sexually sparked by guys with hairy arms, legs and chests. I like strong, dark features. Seriously, ask me about my “thing” for the 70s porn stud look. My vote: DON’T wax it. Of course my body is, for the most part, totally hairless. So, maybe that makes me a hypocrite. In any case, feel free to use the comments section to tell men what you think: “Should guys wax or laser their chest hair?”

February 1st, 2010 | Print This Post | link | Email This Post | [14] folks got down with the Funky Brown

Manly Monday: What is The Average Penis Size?

Technorati Tags: dating, genitalia, genitals, Men, penises, relationships, sex, women

December 28th, 2009 | Print This Post | link | Email This Post | [7] folks got down with the Funky Brown

Manly Monday: Tiger Woods’ Hole In One (Or More)

Gaaaah! I’m tired of this story already. When I heard about Tiger Woods car crash, I tweeted about it because I thought the guy was dying. As the story unfolded, it was clear his life and limbs were not in jeopardy. His groin’s adventures became the “real” headline.

Several people recently asked, “You write about relationships. What do you think about Tiger Woods?” As I’ve said before, If PERSON A cheats on PERSON B with PERSON C, it’s really no one’s business except the parties involved. Tiger is neither my father, lover, husband nor an acquaintance. Right now, I wouldn’t necessarily want to be in Elin Nordegren’s shoes. That said, I’m uninterested in her & her husbands’ personal affairs. In fact, I think the fascination with love lives of the rich & famous says more about our country’s penchant for gawking than it does about our spry young Tiger’s alleged ability to wear women out. Pssst! If you’re interested in theories about Americans’ general views on cheating, I’ve previously written about the topic over at Huffington Post. (Link: Political Sex Scandals: Obama, McCain & Palin.) I also recommend Google Searches for Information about Tiger Woods vs. Afghanistan.

Ah, each day has its many complications, joys, thrills, disappointments, challenges and surprises, no? Many ideas enter my thoughts, but Tiger Woods’ personal life isn’t typically one of them. I pray about my family. I get excited that I’m almost finished with my book. I question how long I’ll remain in New York. I think about my future plans. I hang out and have great times with good friends. I improve my personal finances. Tiger Woods? As long as the man isn’t breaking the law or committing any crimes, I think he deserves his privacy. I’m glad he’s safe. I wish him the best at golf, and I hope he has (or finds) peace in his home life.

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Credit paid: Image is by freelance sports photographer Keith Allison.

Technorati Tags: cheating, Elin Nordegren, funky brown chick, funkybrownchick, infidelity, mistresses, Tiger Woods, Twanna A. Hines

December 7th, 2009 | Print This Post | link | Email This Post | [15] folks got down with the Funky Brown

Manly Monday Pick: Adam Lambert (Glambert perfomance @ AMAs)

Who doesn’t love a (bi-curious) nice Jewish boy? If the mock cock suck at last night’s American Music Awards didn’t win you over, I don’t know what will!! For me, Glambert is a new discovery. I don’t watch American Idol. So, truth be told, I was wholly unaware and uninterested in the kid until I read his Out magazine interview (part 1, part 2) as well as EIC Aaron Hicklin’s open letter. (”Getting gay stars like yourself [on our cover] is another matter. Much easier to stick you in Details, where your homosexuality can be neutralized by having you awkwardly grabbing a woman’s breast and saying, ‘Women are pretty.; So are kittens, Adam, but it doesn’t mean you have to make out with them.’”) Love Lambert’s classy response. (If you missed it: Chill. I’m not your puppet.) Love him. He’s hardly the first gay / bisexual / bi-curious / gender bending / whatever (who the fuck cares because it’s his business, not mine) rockstar. We’ve been in these waters before, and he’s definitely making bolder moves than David Bowie’s public denials and shame about ever touching a penis. Talk about (social) climate change.

“All hail freedom of expression and artistic integrity,” indeed. Love love LOVE him. But, you know I’m biased. Guy-on-guy action turns me on. What say you? Adam Lambert: hot or not?

Technorati Tags: Aaron Hicklin, Adam Lambert, AMA performance, funky brown chick, funkybrownchick, Out magazine, Twanna A. Hines, video

November 23rd, 2009 | Print This Post | link | Email This Post | [10] folks got down with the Funky Brown

What If the Condom Breaks?

Although I use condoms when I have sex, I’ve certainly gone riding without a saddle with longterm boyfriends but, luckily, I’ve never been pregnant, I’m not HIV+ and I’ve never had an STD / STI. When I think about it, it’s kind of creepy that a tiny little rubber keeps my health and childfree status safe. Have you ever wondered: “What if it breaks?” (I’ve had a few break in the past, but those are stories for a different blog post.) In any case, if you’ve ever wondered: “How do they test condoms to make sure it won’t break?”, here’s a video from Consumer Reports’ labs.

Source: It’s tough being perfect, but we found 7 condoms that are.

Technorati Tags: condoms, funkybrownchick, latex condoms, polyurethane condoms, Twanna A. Hines

November 16th, 2009 | Print This Post | link | Email This Post | [9] folks got down with the Funky Brown

Manly Monday: Barack Obama, Nobel Laureate

Saturday, on Facebook I stumbled across the clip below and shared it on my Wall. If you watch Rachel Maddow, you’ve probably already seen this “That’s not the way the Nobel prize always works” video because it’s almost two weeks old. Of course I heard about Obama’s Nobel laureate status, but I hadn’t seen Maddow’s clip. Politics aside (i.e. whether or not you think Obama was a good pick), if you’re interested in learning more about the Nobel prizes and “Le marchand de la mort,” see Wikipedia, Biography, Time or pick up a paperback book on Alfred Nobel’s life. Interesting guy. I wrote about Nobel a couple years ago. Head’s up, the clip below is 11 minutes long, but it’s worth watching the whole thing.

Technorati Tags: Alfred Nob, Barack Obama, funky brown chick, funkybrownchick, Nobel laureates, Rachel Maddow, Twanna A. Hines

October 26th, 2009 | Print This Post | link | Email This Post | [5] folks got down with the Funky Brown

Manly Monday: Can Men Fake It? (Video)

Several years ago, I slept with a guy who faked an orgasm. Unable to complete The Final Act, he put on a performance. When he was done, he pulled out but he was still hard and the condom’s inside was completely dry and empty. I kind of felt bad for him because there’s TREMENDOUS pressure on guys to “make it happen.” Sometimes, they can’t. Wanna know more about other guys who’ve fake it? Read Men Fake It Too! on MSNBC. Also, Psychology Today has a Men Who Fake Orgasms piece, and Marie Claire answers: Why would men fake it? If you’re a guy who faked it (or someone who’s been with a dude who put on theatrics), feel free to share your stories in the comments section below.

Technorati Tags: can men fake it, faking, funky brown chick, funkybrownchick, orgasms, Twanna A. Hines

October 19th, 2009 | Print This Post | link | Email This Post | [18] folks got down with the Funky Brown