Great video, right? Not sure if it captures the full spirit of the room because it was kind of one of those “you had to be there” moments. In any case, a big Funky Brown Chick salute to today’s Manly Monday pick. To find out more about him, visit Rakesh Satyal online.

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“Why Can’t You See You Belong With Me?”

How could I NOT make the dude from Google’s Parisian Love Super Bowl commercial today’s Manly Monday?!?! Wait. Okay. Back up. Maybe I should start by explaining, yes, I watched “the football.” As many of you know, I’m not a sports fan … unless we’re talking about soccer. Nevertheless, I agreed to party with Gene and Peter. Game, schmame. I wanted to watch the commercials & kick back a few beers with my two guy friends. I was happy the Saints won. Sad there were so many ad guys angry about vagina out there. And delighted the Google commercial was so heartwarming. For me, “Parisian Love” struck a chord because reminded me how life is much more about happenstance than it is about sticking to very carefully laid plans. Start off heading in one direction, follow wherever the “search” may lead. Simple. Beautiful. Kudos, Google. Did the rest of you watch the Superbowl, too?

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Reminder: Match.com got down with the Funky Brown. Don’t forget to enter the free giveaway.

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Manly Monday: The Man Who Went To Paris, With Love

As I’ve said plenty o’ times: There’s absolutely nothing wrong with loving a hairy man. Actually, all things being equal, I’m usually more likely to be sexually sparked by guys with hairy arms, legs and chests. I like strong, dark features. Seriously, ask me about my “thing” for the 70s porn stud look. My vote: DON’T wax it. Of course my body is, for the most part, totally hairless. So, maybe that makes me a hypocrite. In any case, feel free to use the comments section to tell men what you think: “Should guys wax or laser their chest hair?”

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Manly Monday Poll: Should Men Wax Their Chest Hair?

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Manly Monday: What is The Average Penis Size?

Several people recently asked, “You write about relationships. What do you think about Tiger Woods?” As I’ve said before, If PERSON A cheats on PERSON B with PERSON C, it’s really no one’s business except the parties involved. Tiger is neither my father, lover, husband nor an acquaintance. Right now, I wouldn’t necessarily want to be in Elin Nordegren’s shoes. That said, I’m uninterested in her & her husbands’ personal affairs. In fact, I think the fascination with love lives of the rich & famous says more about our country’s penchant for gawking than it does about our spry young Tiger’s alleged ability to wear women out. Pssst! If you’re interested in theories about Americans’ general views on cheating, I’ve previously written about the topic over at Huffington Post. (Link: Political Sex Scandals: Obama, McCain & Palin.) I also recommend Google Searches for Information about Tiger Woods vs. Afghanistan.

Ah, each day has its many complications, joys, thrills, disappointments, challenges and surprises, no? Many ideas enter my thoughts, but Tiger Woods’ personal life isn’t typically one of them. I pray about my family. I get excited that I’m almost finished with my book. I question how long I’ll remain in New York. I think about my future plans. I hang out and have great times with good friends. I improve my personal finances. Tiger Woods? As long as the man isn’t breaking the law or committing any crimes, I think he deserves his privacy. I’m glad he’s safe. I wish him the best at golf, and I hope he has (or finds) peace in his home life.

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Credit paid: Image is by freelance sports photographer Keith Allison.

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Manly Monday: Tiger Woods’ Hole In One (Or More)

“All hail freedom of expression and artistic integrity,” indeed. Love love LOVE him. But, you know I’m biased. Guy-on-guy action turns me on. What say you? Adam Lambert: hot or not?

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Manly Monday Pick: Adam Lambert (Glambert perfomance @ AMAs)

Although I use condoms when I have sex, I’ve certainly gone riding without a saddle with longterm boyfriends but, luckily, I’ve never been pregnant, I’m not HIV+ and I’ve never had an STD / STI. When I think about it, it’s kind of creepy that a tiny little rubber keeps my health and childfree status safe. Have you ever wondered: “What if it breaks?” (I’ve had a few break in the past, but those are stories for a different blog post.) In any case, if you’ve ever wondered: “How do they test condoms to make sure it won’t break?”, here’s a video from Consumer Reports’ labs.

Source: It’s tough being perfect, but we found 7 condoms that are.

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What If the Condom Breaks?

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Manly Monday: Barack Obama, Nobel Laureate

Several years ago, I slept with a guy who faked an orgasm. Unable to complete The Final Act, he put on a performance. When he was done, he pulled out but he was still hard and the condom’s inside was completely dry and empty. I kind of felt bad for him because there’s TREMENDOUS pressure on guys to “make it happen.” Sometimes, they can’t. Wanna know more about other guys who’ve fake it? Read Men Fake It Too! on MSNBC. Also, Psychology Today has a Men Who Fake Orgasms piece, and Marie Claire answers: Why would men fake it? If you’re a guy who faked it (or someone who’s been with a dude who put on theatrics), feel free to share your stories in the comments section below.

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Manly Monday: Can Men Fake It? (Video)

If you’ve been to Funky Brown Chick before, you know about Manly Mondays–weekly nods to men, masculine topics and other testosteronely bits. Also, if you’ve hung around here a while (and/or know me personally), you’re familiar with my love of film and you’re likely aware I used to work international affairs before moving to New York and pursuing a career that fed my passion for the written word. So, naturally, what better Manly Monday pick could I write about today than what Esquire magazine calls a “30-year-old case, on sex, justice, and the American way.” So, here we go …

It seems no one doubts Roman Polanski has had an incredibly unfair share of misfortune. A Jew having escaped wartime Kraków ghettos only to learn his mother would later perish in Auschwitz, his childhood wasn’t without horrors. He could’ve been a tortured soul when he came to the U.S. as adult and directed his first film, the occult flick Rosemary’s Baby. (I rented it ages ago and loved it. My reaction to it was similar to my impressions of reading Stephen King: “I’m probably taking in the product of a brilliant, albeit possibly disturbed, mind.”) In any case, Polanski’s misfortunes likely might’ve seemed to diminish as he career took off and he married the beautiful Sharon Tate. Nineteen months after the wedding, on August 8, 1969, his 8-1/2 month pregnant wife, Tate, was brutally murdered by Charles Manson’s gang. They weren’t targeting her. Out for blood, it was just dumb luck she was in the wrong place at the wrong time. Almost full term, her killer testified she got “sick of listening to her, pleading and begging, begging and pleading” to give birth to Polanski’s child before they took her life. Upon hearing the news of his bride and only baby’s death, I can only imagine Polanski must’ve felt cursed. What did he do to deserve such horrible fate? Sadly, the answer is probably: absolutely nothing. Life, unfortunately, isn’t fair.

Enter the rape of 13-year-old kid, Samantha Gailey. I’ve neither heard nor read anything that suggests he’s innocent. Gailey (now Geimer) testified he did it, and Polanski admitted his guilt. Having said all that, after watching confessions & testimonies contained in the documentary Roman Polanski: Wanted & Desired*, I get the impression no one believes Judge Rittenband gave Polanski a fair trial. Reporting for the Washington Post, critic Tom Shales has said, Rittenband’s “bungling of the case was so outrageous.” Of Polanski’s recent arrest, French Minister of Culture and Communication Frédéric Mitterrand commented he “strongly regrets that a new ordeal is being inflicted on someone who has already experienced so many of them.” Indeed. Although justice should be blind, I’m often sympathetic when people who — through no fault of their own — are unfairly burdened with extra heapings of the shittiest of life’s (mis)fortunes. They deserve a break. Though, the key phrase there is through no fault of their own. He pleaded guilty to raping a child, and life has its odd synchronicities. Quoting The Guardian: “Just as 13-year-old Samantha Gailey was unfortunate enough to run up against Polanski in horny, Austin Powers mode, so Polanski was unlucky to be then dragged before Rittenband.”

“So,” several friends have recently asked, “what do you think about this Polanski stuff?” I’m neither or judge nor a lawyer, so I’ll refrain from speculating about the legal technicalities of the case. I only know what I’ve seen in the press — which, of course, is not without its flaws. So, I guess my final answer isn’t resolute at all. I don’t know what to think of it yet because I’m still turning it around in my head. The incidents are truly unfortunate–for everyone involved. That said — whether you’re a bystander reading the news, a survivor of teen sexual abuse, someone with children of your own, a film buff who thinks Polanski got a raw deal, or whatever — I want to hear from you. As I’ve said many times, the world is most interesting when people respectfully disagree. Feel free to use the comments section below to do so.

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Psst! I highly recommend the documentary. It’s available (FREE!) streaming online to Netflix members. Click Roman Polanski: Wanted & Desired.

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Sex Crimes: What Should Happen to Roman Polanski?