I hate NY

During my lunch hour at work, I like to run in Central Park. And, when I say “run”, I mean move very fast by using my feet to pump up and down on pavement. Typically, when a human being with even an ounce of common sense sees a person “running” toward them, they move. And, of course, by “move” I mean move out of the fucking way. But, for whatever unholy and ungodly reason, I’m learning that people (in Central Park at least) do not see the need to also move their dogs out of the way, too. This travesty occurred yet again the other day. I’m running on the joggers’ path in Central Park when, directly ahead, I see this woman and her tiny little dog lazily strolling along the joggers path. Sure, I could ask myself, “WHY THE FUCK ARE DOROTHY AND HER LITTLE DOG TOTO ON THE JOGGERS’ PATH???”, but that question might raise my blood pressure to alarming levels. Or, it might cause me to have an aneurysm. So, I don’t ask that question. As I approach the woman and her dog, I simply huff and puff and squeeze out a quickly labored “excuse me” to alert them that I’m coming. The woman turns around, see me running toward her, and she moves over to the left side of the path. But, get this … She doesn’t move her dog. So, yeah, now I’m running full speed ahead. There’s a woman on my left. The low string / leash is stretched across the width of the path. And, the tiny little dog is on my right.

I assess the situation quickly. I could try to hop over the leash, but I might trip and fall and hurt myself. That wouldn’t be pretty. So, given the choice between the dog and the woman, I choose to go around the tiny little dog because he seems like less of a simpleton than the woman does. But, to my great disappointment, the dog lets me down. He won’t stay put, and he starts moving around. So, now the three of us — Dorothy the simpleton, her dog Toto and I — are doing that awkward dance / shuffle thing in order to get around each other and not get tangled in the leash. Eventually, I get through it all unscathed. But, I swear I wanted to tackle that woman and/or use one of my hands to pick up that little 2-pound overgrown rat posing as a dog and spike it into the pavement. So, to the dog owners and dog walkers of Central Park, I say this: “on behalf of me and my fellow runners, *please* move yourself AND YOUR DOGS out of the way when you see us coming.”

{ 6 folks got down with the Funky Brown }

I was without internet service for approximately 1.5 weeks because Verizon did not repair my DSL internet connection. I could not submit articles that I’d planned to submit; I missed billable hours at work; I used up extra cellphone minutes; I couldn’t receive calls and I had no access to my home phone because I have VOIP / internet phone; and I endured countless hours of mental anguish while trying to convince Verizon’s customer service department that they should provide me with the service for which I am paying.

It should be possible to hold large cable, internet and telephone companies liable for mental anguish — or, at the very least, lost wages — when they dick you around and provide extremely poor customer service over extended periods of time. Instead, what usually happens? You get company credit or vouchers that can only be used to purchase more of the shitty service that pissed you off in the first place.

It seems so completely unfair. Patient’s Bill of Rights. If you’re a patient in a hospital, you have certain rights. Same with the Taxicab Bill of Rights. But, what about telecommunications? What’s my recourse for all of the bullshit that I went through with Verizon? And, unfortunately, (as horrible as my experience is) it’s not just Verizon and it’s not just me. I don’t know anyone who *doesn’t* have a story that goes something like this: Comcast told me to remain in my home from 8am – 5pm so that they can repair my cable, but then they never even bothered to show up or they showed up *after* the time that they said they would.

So, now what? I’m pissed off. And, I’m sure — at some point or another — a few of you have been in a similar situations and *you’ve* been pissed off. What’s the recourse? Is the Better Business Bureau still functioning? Does anyone even bother reporting anymore? A reader, ingredient_x, suggests that I do what people always do when they receive poor service: spread the word. Word of mouth, he says, is “the only recourse customers actually have that’s the least bit effective.” Okay, so, I’m doing that. I use my two lips to ten fingers to tell anyone who will listen how horrible my experiences with Verizon have been.

Another reader, Error Boy, suggests that I report the incident to Consumerist.com, and I just did that. I hope they write about it and include it on their site. And, actually, you should check out their site if you haven’t already. The theory goes like this: Neither I nor you, individually, may not affect the way that Verizon and other companies do business; but, if enough of us join together, it’s like we collectively rise up and bop the folks in these large companies over the heads with our laptops and yell: “please do something about your shitty customer service!” Stories like this one give me that “pissed off / laughing / borderline madness” feeling that only comes when you realize that someone else has got a story that’s just like yours, and you feel like you know *exactly* what they’re going through. Like, this guy’s story.

So, here’s where things stand: my DSL is up and running, and I’m still with Verizon for now. Needless to say, I’m going to call them again so that they rightfully credit me (i.e. DSL out of service, VOIP out of service, etc.). So, then what? I could switch providers sooner rather than later; I haven’t ruled that out. At the same time, I want to do something to register this complaint officially and more completely. And, I want to do whatever I can to actually make them change the way they do business. If you’ve got any ideas, feel free to forward them to me via email or leave them in the comment section. I feel like I’m at my wit’s end.

{ 12 folks got down with the Funky Brown }