Be forewarned. This post will be a bit scattered because I want to say so much, but I haven’t quite found the way to wrap it up neatly in a pretty package of the typical Funky Brown Chick post length of 3 or 4 paragraphs or less. Anyway. Here we go … I’ve written a bunch of stuff about interracial dating, interracial sex, white men’s penises and other topics about good ol’ miscegenation. Most of it’s pretty lighthearted and this post will be, too. Sort of.
Sexy men are sexy men, and I don’t care what shade they are. When active on online dating sites, I’ve shot emails to Indian, Asian, black and white dudes. If you’ve played the internet dating game, you know some people respond to your emails, winks and other e-flirting. Some don’t. For what it’s worth, to be honest, for the MIA dudes who weren’t black, I’ve often wondered: “Did he not write me back because he wasn’t interested in ME or does he not date black girls, period?” Could be either, could be something else entirely. I don’t know much about the non-Twannalovers because it would’ve been weird to ask, “Heeeey, why didn’t you write me back?!?!” Plenty of men in New York. No need to chase ones who aren’t into me, right? I just go out on dates with other (white, black, foreign or whatever) guys who are interested. Weeeell, enter OkCupid.
The picture above is from their recent survey data. Last week, they announced they discovered your race affects whether people write you back on their site. For example, Anonymous Asian ladies writing black men on OkCupid get relatively high response rates. But, when tables are turned, Asian women are more likely to shove a cold shoulder at black men who initiate contact. So much from blasian love, huh? OkCupid’s other results? White men are less likely to respond to black women. “The takeaway here is,” the company concluded, “although race shouldn’t matter in messaging, it does. A lot.” If you’re interested in the survey, read the rest of the results over at OkCupid.
You think I’d be pissed off about the their findings, right? Well, yes and no. Shamus Dalton Witherford IV doesn’t want to date Twanna Hines? Fine. He doesn’t have to. I can’t necessarily wholly fault someone for their dating preferences. In fact, I’d rather someone say straight out they AREN’T interested in dating different race/ethnicities than check boxes indicating they are — then conveniently proceed to avoid responding to women who don’t match their preferences. If you’re a white dude who only dates white women, be honest about it. If you’re an Asian lesbian looking for a 5′10″ black woman in a petite frame. Say that. If you’re a Latino dude who wants a short white girl with full curves, go for it! Why waste anyone’s time? No one likes rejection. Having been on it’s receiving end, I don’t like it when I “put myself out” there to men — regardless of ethnicity, whether online or offline — and don’t get a response. It makes me feel awkward and unwanted. But, mostly, it makes me feel silly! It’s like, “Ewww! I went after a guy who wasn’t even interested. I don’t want to be that ‘Desperate Girl.’” But enough about my Adventures in Online Dating. I wanna talk about something I mentioned on Twitter last night.
If you’ve not yet heard the news, Keith Bardwell, a justice of the peace in Louisiana, denied a marriage license to Beth Humphrey and Terence McKay since he doesn’t think they should have children because he’s black and she’s white. Quoting Bardwell (via NPR):
“I’m not a racist. I just don’t believe in mixing the races [...] I have piles and piles of black friends. They come to my home [...] they use my bathroom. I treat them just like everyone else.”
When I shared the article on my Facebook earlier, a handsome Aussie pal jokingly commented, “I’m worried that he keeps his black friends in piles.” I laughed because his comment is funny :) And, now, for the more serious side …. WHAT. THE. FUCK. IS. GOING. ON. IN. LOUISIANA?! This gets back to what I was writing about earlier. [Points up a few paragraphs.] There aren’t laws saying anyone HAS TO date or marry anyone else because, quite frankly, they don’t. Hell, any black person can say, “I don’t date white people.” And, vice versa. Preferences, schmeferences. No one HAS TO date interracially (hate that term), but that’s not the point. Anyone who WANTS to date or get married should be able to. Loving v. Virginia anyone? 1967? It’s almost 2010. Hmmm, I guess that all I have to say. So, on second thought, instead of this really really long blogpost, I could’ve summed my feelings up with a simple sentence and a link: It’s disappointing and weird that we’re “here” again — revisiting/referencing such basic, fundamental rights.
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Pssst! Interested in Loving v. Virginia? If you missed it, I wrote about the couple — and about how Van Morrison’s song Brown-Eyed Girl was supposedly originally titled Brown-Skinned Girl — in a October 2005 Funky Brown Chick post called Making Love in the Green Grass.
Technorati Tags: Beth Humphrey, funky brown chick, funkybrownchick, interracial dating, interracial marriage, Keith Bardwell, Mildred Jeter Loving, Richard Perry Loving, Terence McKay, Twanna A. Hines
October 16th, 2009 | Print This Post
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