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In Pictures: Caption This Photo: ___________

My Boobs Look Huge in This Dress

My friend John is an actor in New York, and I love film. So, last night, we went to the “IFP & Shooting People Holiday Happy Hour.” Although my hair looks a bit messy, I actually really really LIKE this photo of us. Plus, I love how full my chest looks. On Flickr, I actually titled the picture “My Boobs Look Huge In This Dress.” :)

Funky Brown Chick readers are witty, clever, fun and interesting! Feel free to use your creativity to caption the photo above. If you’re new around here, my only comment policy is “Be Kind” (to me, the your fellow comment leavers, etc., etc.) So, if you want to post something shitty about me — or my charming & amazing friend John — please don’t waste your time.

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On Video: 2010 NYC Sex Bloggers Calendar Launch Party

(I’ve got a few pictures uploaded to Flickr. More coming soon.)

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In Pictures: 2009 Halloween Brunch Party

Shout out and extra special thanks to everyone at Cafe 50 West for being so kind to our crazy group.

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NYC In Pictures: Oktoberfest in Central Park

September 20th, 2009 | 3 folks got down with the Funky Brown | Posted in Party and Bullshit

Ah, there’s nothing quite like watching a drunken dude in lederhosen sing Elvis tunes in German. After the 52nd Annual German-American Steuben Parade, I spent Saturday morning w/ Sherri and Kathrin in Central Park for Oktoberfest. Once finished, NYCITYMAMA joined us for dinner and dancing. If you live in New York and you like German culture, food, men or whatever, be sure to check out http://www.germanyinnyc.org/. Shout out and THANK YOU to Kathrin for photos from the day’s events.

Oktoberfest in Central Park

Bundesrepublik Deutschland

See more pictures.

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I Woke Up with My Vibrator on My Kitchen Counter

Sorry for the post-free days. It’s been a shitty week. I went to Joe’s farewell party (leaving his job, not the city) last night to cheer myself up and wish the old man well. Glad I attended because being around the group totally lifted my spirits and I had a blast!! (Lynne, you better be there next time!!) It was absolutely wonderful to catch up with @missmith11, @feezy9, @jenniferrichman, @MikeHoffman, @the_interocitor, @tschweitzer, @DouglasPaul, @RodKurtz, @NorfLondonNY, Angumeister and a bunch of other people. Hmmm … Apparently, if you don’t drink for a long time and then drink a shitload of Amstel Lights and several shots of chilled Patron within a few hours, you pass out on the subway at 2:21 a.m., miss your stop, run south 29 blocks to get home, stumble into the shower with your clothes on, leave your wet sneakers in the bath and wake up the next morning with a dead vibrator on your kitchen counter.

[Whistles innocently while looking up at the ceiling.]

I think I’ll take it easy tonight.

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Still Recovering from the Weekend …

@urban_gypsy rubbed her meat. on Twitpic

Heineken butt plugs. on Twitpic

Food porn on Twitpic

Mmmmmm cheese on Twitpic

Taste testing on Twitpic

Smores cheesecake just out of the oven. on Twitpic

Photos by @debaucheddiva

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In Pictures: The Webutante Ball, June 5, 2009

Alex Geana & Twanna A Hines

Alex Geana and me goofing off in front of photographer Diana Levine’s lens at The Webutante Ball hosted by Richard Blakeley and Jessica Amason on the rooftop bar at Empire Hotel for Internet Week. See more photos on my Flickr, at Random Night Out and on Diana Levine’s page.

Twanna A Hines (Funky Brown Chick)

Want to know more? Read press about The Webutante Ball on Gawker, MediaBistro, New York Post, New York Observer, New York Magazine, NYConvergence and elsewhere.

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Sex and Money: Can You Be Bought?

As I already mentioned on Twitter yesterday morning, last night’s plans included stopping by Anna David’s private launch party for her new novel Bought. Kudos to Anna for a smash hit party!!! Damn it seemed like EVERYONE was there. Page Six even showed up. A chick who either was Emily Gould or looked a helluva lot like her was mingling in the crowds. Tons of familiar faces. LA people. New York people. People who know people. Me? I’m probably a horrible networker because, for the most part and as usual, I spent the whole night talking to people I already knew: Jahfurry (I wish I could’ve made it to the afterparty to hear him and his band), Nick (who’s got tons of pics from the party already posted on Random Night Out), Jamye (I can’t believe she’s leaving us and moving to LA!), Anna (who looked GORGEOUS in her little black dress) and Rachel (who, by the way, is soooo awesome because she returned from Europe with a CHOCOLATE housewarming gift for me.) Given the choice between making small talk with people I don’t know or catching up with folks I adore, I’d rather hang out with my friends. Granted, talking to new people could lead to new friendships. I know this and I’m working at getting better.

I like the picture Nick took of me and Rach. Apparently my cardio is working. This red shirt used to be fitted, now it looks like I’m swimming in it. Time to buy a new one and/or stick this in the dryer longer after the next wash.

Random Night Out - Rachel Kramer Bussel and Twanna A Hines

This Summer: Twanna’s Big Bikini Reveal!!!! In the meantime, if you want to see more fully clothed images, Nick shot great photos of him and Anna, Jeff and Anna, Jamye and me and of course Michael and Anna. Ah, Michael Malice — a Ruskie so deliciously wonderful and PERVERTED he deserves his own FBC post.  ;) Okay, enough about the kickass launch party and more about the book. Full disclosure: I know and adore Anna. So, of course I want her novel to sell really well. I haven’t read Bought in its entirety yet, but it sounds super interesting. To get a taste, you can read the first chapter here. How much do I love it that Bought opens with the James Brown lyric / quote, shake your money maker?!  :) “Here’s how I see it,” Anna explains on her site. “[I]n the same way we don’t go into an interview, utter brilliant asides, and later think, ‘I really used my intelligence to nail that interview,’ we tend not to give much conscious thought to the ways we use our sexuality to get what we want.” She goes on to say that she’s “worked with agents who have made it perfectly clear that they were far more interested in what was between my legs than in what was between my ears.”

A while ago, I attended the New York premiere of  Steven Soderdergh’s film The Girlfriend Experience at the Tribeca Film Festival. (My article about that is still in the can; it’s one of three on of my List of Outstanding / Overdue Pieces.) Anyway, at that event someone brought up that quote that goes something like ‘capitalism is just another version of prostitution.’ Soderbergh responded, “Life is just a series of transactions. We all want something.” True. Or is it? I mean, yeah, I’ve totally used my sexuality to get my way with men. A short black dress, the right pair of 4′ heels and deep red lipstick opens lots of doors — literally and figuratively speaking. Hmmm … You should take Anna’s “quiz” to find out if you can be bought. Also, feel free to use the comments section below to tell me: Do you think you’ve ever been bought? Have you been buying? And, if so, how?

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