1. Follow advice. One of my writing mentors successfully wrote and sold 7 books in the past 7 years. Each time, she handed in a full manuscript instead of a proposal. It worked for her, and she suggests her students do the same.
2. Reduce stress. I’ve written articles, penned columns and contributed chapters to others’ anthologies. But, this is my first full memoir. As I mentioned in my last update, it’s nice to take as long as I need to grow, learn and finish it — without the added stress of looming deadlines from editors. That will come later :)
3. Get it out of the way. As more than one published authors reminded me: “It’s not like finishing the proposal means you don’t have to write the book. You’ve gotta write it anyway, so may as well do it now.”
4. Understand the Project. For me, the biggest benefit of writing the full thing is that I’ve come to understand my project MUCH better. When I started, I didn’t have a clear sense of what I was doing with it. I knew I was writing a memoir, but the outline was pretty vague. I’m much more focused now that I’ve written the first full draft.

That said, quite frankly, I don’t think there’s one “right” way to write a book. Jean-Dominique Bauby supposedly finished The Diving Bell and the Butterfly by blinking the whole thing out one letter at a time over the course of a year or so. NaNoWriMo are sprinting through it all in a month. Cliff Chase, one of my favorite people from my time spent working as a peon at Newsweek, told me he dedicated many many years to finishing Winkie. (The book Writing a book is like completing marathon. Both require a tremendous amount of motivation, effort and time. But, the purpose isn’t to “win.” It’s about finishing it at your own pace to accomplish whatever personal goal(s) you’ve set for yourself. So, I guess the question: “How should I write a book?” is: Follow whichever way works for you and stick with it the best you can until you finish.

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Credit paid: Marathon image is by Randy Lemoine

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Getting to The Finish Line: How to Write a Book

As I mentioned earlier, my next step is to finish editing my book. I’m in the final stretch, and I don’t think it will take longer than the end of the year. After that, I’ll talk to colleagues as well as conduct my own research to find out which agent would be a good fit for this particular project. I’ve been given a few names. And, when the appropriate time comes, I’ll make contact. Once I’ve linked up with a good agent, they’ll likely suggest additional edits before approach publishing housing with my book. When/if the publisher buys it, they’ll likely request more revisions before they print it. Once that and a few other items are completed, the book will be printed and readily available for purchase on shelves and online at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Powell’s and elsewhere. I’ll keep you posted. If you have any particular question, comments or specific questions, feel free to leave it in the comments section.

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Image by: Ivan Prole

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My Book Status Update: September 17, 2009

“Even though my decision not to have children was made on what might be called political grounds it proved to be a good personal choice. [...] Given my particular nature, the responsibility and distraction of childrearing most likely would have prevented me from pursuing my work as a writer, which has been immensely rewarding, if difficult and uncertain much of the time [...]

[Continue reading at MORE magazine]

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Reading: Why I Chose to Be Childless [MORE magazine]

I like the picture Nick took of me and Rach. Apparently my cardio is working. This red shirt used to be fitted, now it looks like I’m swimming in it. Time to buy a new one and/or stick this in the dryer longer after the next wash.

This Summer: Twanna’s Big Bikini Reveal!!!! In the meantime, if you want to see more fully clothed images, Nick shot great photos of him and Anna, Jeff and Anna, Jamye and me and of course Michael and Anna. Ah, Michael Malice — a Ruskie so deliciously wonderful and PERVERTED he deserves his own FBC post.  ;) Okay, enough about the kickass launch party and more about the book. Full disclosure: I know and adore Anna. So, of course I want her novel to sell really well. I haven’t read Bought in its entirety yet, but it sounds super interesting. To get a taste, you can read the first chapter here. How much do I love it that Bought opens with the James Brown lyric / quote, shake your money maker?!  :) “Here’s how I see it,” Anna explains on her site. “[I]n the same way we don’t go into an interview, utter brilliant asides, and later think, ‘I really used my intelligence to nail that interview,’ we tend not to give much conscious thought to the ways we use our sexuality to get what we want.” She goes on to say that she’s “worked with agents who have made it perfectly clear that they were far more interested in what was between my legs than in what was between my ears.”

A while ago, I attended the New York premiere of  Steven Soderdergh’s film The Girlfriend Experience at the Tribeca Film Festival. (My article about that is still in the can; it’s one of three on of my List of Outstanding / Overdue Pieces.) Anyway, at that event someone brought up that quote that goes something like ‘capitalism is just another version of prostitution.’ Soderbergh responded, “Life is just a series of transactions. We all want something.” True. Or is it? I mean, yeah, I’ve totally used my sexuality to get my way with men. A short black dress, the right pair of 4′ heels and deep red lipstick opens lots of doors — literally and figuratively speaking. Hmmm … You should take Anna’s “quiz” to find out if you can be bought. Also, feel free to use the comments section below to tell me: Do you think you’ve ever been bought? Have you been buying? And, if so, how?

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Sex and Money: Can You Be Bought?

Swine flu. Again, I’m not particularly interested in sickly moo-moos and oink-oinks. BUT … We already know animals contract STDs / STIs. And, of course, we know people have sex with animals. So, the only way I’ll write about swine flu is if I choose to do it because: (1) I — or someone I know — gets it or (2) people start fucking pigs with it and their genitals fall off from a rare and unknown sexually transmitted infection. I think THAT would be in interesting read. I like writing things that people consider “an interesting read.” It makes me happy. So, I guess that was a totally random post with a larger message: Live the life you want to live and do what you want to do. Heeeeeeey, I should title this post “Bestiality, Swine Flu and You.” ;)

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Photo credit: image by Steve Woods.

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Bestiality, Swine Flu and You

Biggest benefit to the proposal route? If your book idea sucks and no one wants to buy it, you haven’t “wasted” a lot of time working on the project. On the other hand, if the idea is great, you get your advance faster and you don’t have to wait the entire year (or more) when the book is finished.

Biggest benefit to pounding the whole thing out? Your advance is likely to be bigger because they’re paying for a full project instead of a “proposed” project. Plus, at the end of the day — if you want to “sell” a book — you’ve gotta “write” it anyway, so you might as well just do it.

I spent 1/2 of last year figuring out what my book should be about. Once I got that nailed down, I had to work on a lot of emotional baggage. Self-doubt pissed all over my fucking book. I told myself, “This is the longest thing I’ve ever written. I don’t even know how I’ll finish it.” As I wrote chapters, I repeatedly said, “This chapter is never going to get done.” Throwing negativity at the project wasn’t helping, but I was being honest. Partly, maybe I was afraid of finishing  … “What if no one likes my typescript and I can’t get it published?” or “What if it gets published and no one buys the book.” or “What if it gets published and people buy it, but family members, ex-boyfriends and others I mention in my book all start to hate me for the things I’ve revealed.”

[sigh]

Nothing else to add to that besides a big long sigh, I guess. Whatever. Anyway. I’m working through it.

I’ve now written 11 of my book’s 11 chapters. It’s still not “done.” Some bits are in better shape than others — the most recently finished three chapters still need a lot of work. Like, A LOT. I’m going to spend the next couple of months (maybe more) editing, revising, restructuring the whole thing. After that, I’ll begin pitching agents. So, that’s the scoop. As more news rolls in, I’ll keep you posted.

In the meantime, on a completely different note … As I mentioned on Twitter last night, I’ve kept a written journal since I was in sixth grade. Every now and then, I revisit old entries to remember who I was in grade school, junior high, college or whatever. It’s a lot like flipping through a high school yearbook (”Oh, I remember him … “) Anyway. Thought I’d snap a quick picture of a funny entry from August 1991. My handwriting was much neater then.

C’est tout. My fingers are tired of typing. :( I spent A LOT of time working on the book this weekend.

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Book Update: Rough 1st Draft Is Done

It’s my pin-up shot from the 2009 NYC Sex Bloggers Calendar. Yep, I’m “Miss March.” Read about the project here. And, as a THANK YOU to the lovely Funky Brown Chick readers who log on each day to read my Words o’ Goofdom — even when they aren’t particular exciting, like today — I’ll send a FREE calendar to the first five people who email me their domestic or international mailing address. To email me, go here, scroll down and enter your full contact details. Thanks, again, for reading. More words tomorrow after my fingers have returned from their self-imposed strike.

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Who Wants a Free Sex Bloggers Calendar?

If you’re reading this via RSS (on Google Reader, Facebook, etc.) and the clip doesn’t load above, see it on Funky Brown Chick, Lusty Lady, YouTube, the Do Not Disturb blog and elsewhere. Tons of awesome people were involved in the photographing (go Stacie!!!), filming and making of the trailer. See Rach’s post for the full credits.

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Wanna See My First Hotel Sex Tape?

Behold! Let this NOT boost the arguments of the earth’s right-wing repressed nut jobs who’ll say, “Seeeeeeee, that’s why you should wait to have sex until you’re married. If you screw a bunch of people, you’ll grow bored and your wedding night will be rendered meaningless.” Such logic is pointless and, ironically, could be used to support polygamy. Seeeee, if you have sex with only one wife (or husband) all the time, you’ll get bored and it won’t mean as much!!! As a former “I’m saving myself for marriage” girl, I can tell you that shit doesn’t work. But, whatever. I digress. Writing. I was talking about my writing.

If you’d like to read my most recently published contribution, pick up a copy of Six-Word Memoirs on Love and Heartbreak: by Writers Famous and Obscure. It’s a SMITH Magazine brainchild and, so far, the other New York Times best-selling “Six Word” book has already been featured on Oprah. It’s a simple idea: sum up an aspect of your life using six words or less. That’s actually a lot harder than it sounds. For this edition, the editors asked us to write about “love” or “heartbreak.” Hence, Six-Word Memoirs on Love and Heartbreak. Me? I wrote about what was probably my worst heartbreak ever. Wondering which six words I used to describe it? Ooooh, you’ll have to buy the book!!  :)

By the way, at least once a week, a new reader shoots me an email to say: “I’d like to read something else you’ve written, where can I find it?” If you’ve gotten down with the funky brown before here at www.funkybrownchick.com, you already write about relationships. Often dating — but not exclusively. Stuff I’ve written about race & immigrant relations was published in the book Migration and Immigration: A Global View (A World View of Social Issues). I’ve been doing this stuff so long I honestly can’t remember my FIRST publication. I *DO* remember the first time I had sex. I’ll write about that some other time. My first publication was probably either an article in my high school yearbook or newspaper (I wrote for both), or a letter I wrote to my local newspaper’s editor. If you’re interested in reading things I’ve written besides this blog, check me out on Huffington Post and elsewhere. If you’d like to see a cute little book trailer for Six-Word Memoirs on Love and Heartbreak watch the tiny clip below.

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Getting Published Is A Lot Like Sex

Struggling with a heart broken by my ex, a job search failed and pain from a friend’s perceived betrayal, I wondered: What Should I Do with My Life? I schlepped to Borders Bookstore on Chicago’s Michigan Avenue and bought hottie Po Bronson’s book by the same title: What Should I Do with My Life?: The True Story of People Who Answered the Ultimate Question. I’m not going to tell the tale of my three-year stint in the Second City and subsequent move to Manhattan — or the story of how I got over the boy — because that’s not the point of this blog post. Out with the old, in with the new. Happy New Year, it’s my fourth in New York. Around this time last year, I walked away from my full-time publishing gig in the financial district to dedicate myself to my own writing. As a result, I can honestly say 2008 was my first “good” year in NYC — on all fronts. (Psst! My last 2008 piece / first 2009 piece, I’m a Writer, Not A Child Pornographer, is now published at Huffington Post.)

I don’t remember the exact passage, but Po mentions very few people discover their “purpose” in life after hearing a commanding voice from the sky. I’ve fallen on my ass, made poor decisions, run up a lot of debt, second-guessed myself throughout various periods of my life. I’ve also succeeded. I try to make the best decisions I can with the information I have at a given time. And, I move forward on faith. My purpose, my goals for 2009 are to: (1) finish my book and (2) unclutter my life. I’ve already written 5.5 of my book’s 13 chapters, and I want to wrap the remaining 7.5 up by December 2009. Regarding clutter, I want to lose: weight I said I’d lose by the end of 2008 but didn’t, the mess in my apartment and any unnecessary drama and/or loose ends with exes. I’ve got a good feeling about 2009. I hope you do, too. For fun, listen to oldie-but-goody NPR podcast interview with Po Bronson. Read Marci Alboher’s archive of her New York Times Shifting Careers blog or her book One Person/Multiple Careers: A New Model for Work/Life Success. Sincerest wishes that this year brings you peace, prosperity and any insights needed to make changes and accomplishments in your life — if that’s what your heart desires.

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Happy New Year, I’m Starting Over!