• Woke at 7:00 a.m. to the sound of a rooster crowing (my cellphone’s alarm clock ringtone). I don’t usually use an alarm but I did today because I stayed up late last night and I worried I’d oversleep.
• Read morning news online — BBC News and New York Times.
• Checked Twitter, Facebook and my blog.
• Showered, brushed my teeth, put on lotion, dressed and left the house.
• Logged 20 blocks (1 mile) for my daily morning walk.
• Ate Cheerios for breakfast.

No one wants to read a laundry list of “I did this, then I did this, then I did this.” So, if I was writing a story about of my morning, it would read very differently based on the theme. If I was writing about being a native Illinoisan living in Manhattan, I’d focus on the fact that I use a rooster’s crow as my alarm, and I’d describe how different it feels to walk a mile surrounded by skyscrapers instead of cornfields. What I ate for breakfast wouldn’t matter so much, and I’d leave that out of the story. If I was writing about healthy living, I’d focus on the fact that my morning beauty products and toothpaste are made of all-natural and organic materials. I’d talk about the importance of diet (eating Cheerios instead of fried eggs and bacon) and exercise (walking a mile every day). In that story, the fact that my alarm clock is a rooster’s crow wouldn’t really matter and I’d leave that out of the story. Either version could re-tell what happened to me today. But, the specific details included in the story depends the larger “theme.”

So, that’s what I’ve been working on with the book — figuring out which details of my life should be included and which ones shouldn’t. The other thing I’ve been doing is: editing. Now that the story is more fleshed out, I have to make it more readable. As an example of editing, check out this sentence on Nicolas Cage’s Wikipedia page:

“Despite these successes, most of his lower-profile films have performed poorly at the box office compared to his mainstream action/adventure roles.”

For clarity and to ease the read, the sentence could be edited as follows:

“Despite mainstream successes in action/adventure roles, many of Cage’s lower-profile films have delivered poor box office results.”

I’m not editing Cage’s wiki, but I am editing my book line by line to make it a clearer read. So, yeah, that’s the book update. At present, it looks like I’ll be finished by the end of this month. In fact, though (thankfully!) I’ve already been approached, this is the very reason I haven’t signed with an agent yet. Until I’ve written the whole thing, I didn’t really know: (1) what the book would be or (2) when I would finish it. I’ve contributed chapters to others’ books, written articles and completed other creative projects, but this is my first book. It’s nice to finish it on my own time and without the pressure of outside deadlines.

What’s next? Starting in February, the next step will be to pitch agents. Once I’ve found the right one, they’ll pitch the book to publishers. Once it’s found a publishing home, it will be printed and ready for bookshelves. Of course, there are no guarantees. So, my fingers will be crossed throughout the whole thing. And, of course, it’s an ongoing process. (Once I have an agent and publisher attached to the project, they’ll likely request additional edits, changes and others things.) For now, I’m just really happy about the progress I’ve made thus far. Okay, so, this was totally a long, disjointed post, but I wanted to let you know what I’ve been up to on the writing front. I’ll be back to updating Funky Brown Chick on a regular basis now. Expect more sex, dating and relationships posts this week! :)

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Book Update: I’ve Been Writing My Ass Off

Hosted by the lovely George Bodarky’s Cityscape explores “the people, places and spirit of New York City and its surroundings.” I’m honored he had me as a guest to share my story about being a solo woman in New York. “According to the Census,” WFUV reminds us, “more than half of all Manhattan residents live alone, and the number of singles in New York City is rising to historic levels.” If you’d like to hear what I — and a few other fun-spirited New Yorkers — had to say about being Single in the City, listen to the show. I missed the 7:30am Saturday broadcast because I was in Illinois en route to Chicago O’Hare for my return flight to New York. Luckily, thanks to listener contributions, the audio clip is available online. Listen to it. (Yay! Support public radio.) Also, if you like Cityscape, be sure to head over to another one of my favorites, Nora Young’s CBC Spark. For a recent show, Daemon Fairless and I briefly chatted about relationships & texting — or, to use Daemon’s words, “romancing the phone.” Clever, huh? We had great fun! Listen to it.

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Credit paid: Image is by Atilla Kefeli

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Wanna Hear a Good Story?

“I’m thankful for discovering you and realizing that I’m not the dirty perv freakazoid that my Pentecostal mother said I was. Thank you for providing the platform for having an honest discussion about sex as a joyous and wonderful experience. Hope you have a wonderful holiday [...]“

I’m really grateful for the encouragement, fun comments, kind words and other things a bunch of you send me via Twitter, Facebook, email and elsewhere supporting my writing. Pssst! Read this post if you want to know why I switched careers from international affairs to publishing in 2005. I’m still growing, changing and figuring out life as I go. (Aren’t we all?) So, to those of you who’ve supported my work in any way — reading, subscribing, commenting, sharing online, etc. — a heartfelt THANK YOU during this Thanksgiving weekend.

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It’s My Pleasure, Really

1. Follow advice. One of my writing mentors successfully wrote and sold 7 books in the past 7 years. Each time, she handed in a full manuscript instead of a proposal. It worked for her, and she suggests her students do the same.
2. Reduce stress. I’ve written articles, penned columns and contributed chapters to others’ anthologies. But, this is my first full memoir. As I mentioned in my last update, it’s nice to take as long as I need to grow, learn and finish it — without the added stress of looming deadlines from editors. That will come later :)
3. Get it out of the way. As more than one published authors reminded me: “It’s not like finishing the proposal means you don’t have to write the book. You’ve gotta write it anyway, so may as well do it now.”
4. Understand the Project. For me, the biggest benefit of writing the full thing is that I’ve come to understand my project MUCH better. When I started, I didn’t have a clear sense of what I was doing with it. I knew I was writing a memoir, but the outline was pretty vague. I’m much more focused now that I’ve written the first full draft.

That said, quite frankly, I don’t think there’s one “right” way to write a book. Jean-Dominique Bauby supposedly finished The Diving Bell and the Butterfly by blinking the whole thing out one letter at a time over the course of a year or so. NaNoWriMo are sprinting through it all in a month. Cliff Chase, one of my favorite people from my time spent working as a peon at Newsweek, told me he dedicated many many years to finishing Winkie. (The book Writing a book is like completing marathon. Both require a tremendous amount of motivation, effort and time. But, the purpose isn’t to “win.” It’s about finishing it at your own pace to accomplish whatever personal goal(s) you’ve set for yourself. So, I guess the question: “How should I write a book?” is: Follow whichever way works for you and stick with it the best you can until you finish.

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Credit paid: Marathon image is by Randy Lemoine

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Getting to The Finish Line: How to Write a Book

As I mentioned earlier, my next step is to finish editing my book. I’m in the final stretch, and I don’t think it will take longer than the end of the year. After that, I’ll talk to colleagues as well as conduct my own research to find out which agent would be a good fit for this particular project. I’ve been given a few names. And, when the appropriate time comes, I’ll make contact. Once I’ve linked up with a good agent, they’ll likely suggest additional edits before approach publishing housing with my book. When/if the publisher buys it, they’ll likely request more revisions before they print it. Once that and a few other items are completed, the book will be printed and readily available for purchase on shelves and online at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Powell’s and elsewhere. I’ll keep you posted. If you have any particular question, comments or specific questions, feel free to leave it in the comments section.

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Image by: Ivan Prole

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My Book Status Update: September 17, 2009

“Even though my decision not to have children was made on what might be called political grounds it proved to be a good personal choice. [...] Given my particular nature, the responsibility and distraction of childrearing most likely would have prevented me from pursuing my work as a writer, which has been immensely rewarding, if difficult and uncertain much of the time [...]

[Continue reading at MORE magazine]

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Reading: Why I Chose to Be Childless [MORE magazine]

I like the picture Nick took of me and Rach. Apparently my cardio is working. This red shirt used to be fitted, now it looks like I’m swimming in it. Time to buy a new one and/or stick this in the dryer longer after the next wash.

This Summer: Twanna’s Big Bikini Reveal!!!! In the meantime, if you want to see more fully clothed images, Nick shot great photos of him and Anna, Jeff and Anna, Jamye and me and of course Michael and Anna. Ah, Michael Malice — a Ruskie so deliciously wonderful and PERVERTED he deserves his own FBC post.  ;) Okay, enough about the kickass launch party and more about the book. Full disclosure: I know and adore Anna. So, of course I want her novel to sell really well. I haven’t read Bought in its entirety yet, but it sounds super interesting. To get a taste, you can read the first chapter here. How much do I love it that Bought opens with the James Brown lyric / quote, shake your money maker?!  :) “Here’s how I see it,” Anna explains on her site. “[I]n the same way we don’t go into an interview, utter brilliant asides, and later think, ‘I really used my intelligence to nail that interview,’ we tend not to give much conscious thought to the ways we use our sexuality to get what we want.” She goes on to say that she’s “worked with agents who have made it perfectly clear that they were far more interested in what was between my legs than in what was between my ears.”

A while ago, I attended the New York premiere of  Steven Soderdergh’s film The Girlfriend Experience at the Tribeca Film Festival. (My article about that is still in the can; it’s one of three on of my List of Outstanding / Overdue Pieces.) Anyway, at that event someone brought up that quote that goes something like ‘capitalism is just another version of prostitution.’ Soderbergh responded, “Life is just a series of transactions. We all want something.” True. Or is it? I mean, yeah, I’ve totally used my sexuality to get my way with men. A short black dress, the right pair of 4′ heels and deep red lipstick opens lots of doors — literally and figuratively speaking. Hmmm … You should take Anna’s “quiz” to find out if you can be bought. Also, feel free to use the comments section below to tell me: Do you think you’ve ever been bought? Have you been buying? And, if so, how?

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Sex and Money: Can You Be Bought?

Swine flu. Again, I’m not particularly interested in sickly moo-moos and oink-oinks. BUT … We already know animals contract STDs / STIs. And, of course, we know people have sex with animals. So, the only way I’ll write about swine flu is if I choose to do it because: (1) I — or someone I know — gets it or (2) people start fucking pigs with it and their genitals fall off from a rare and unknown sexually transmitted infection. I think THAT would be in interesting read. I like writing things that people consider “an interesting read.” It makes me happy. So, I guess that was a totally random post with a larger message: Live the life you want to live and do what you want to do. Heeeeeeey, I should title this post “Bestiality, Swine Flu and You.” ;)

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Photo credit: image by Steve Woods.

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Bestiality, Swine Flu and You

Biggest benefit to the proposal route? If your book idea sucks and no one wants to buy it, you haven’t “wasted” a lot of time working on the project. On the other hand, if the idea is great, you get your advance faster and you don’t have to wait the entire year (or more) when the book is finished.

Biggest benefit to pounding the whole thing out? Your advance is likely to be bigger because they’re paying for a full project instead of a “proposed” project. Plus, at the end of the day — if you want to “sell” a book — you’ve gotta “write” it anyway, so you might as well just do it.

I spent 1/2 of last year figuring out what my book should be about. Once I got that nailed down, I had to work on a lot of emotional baggage. Self-doubt pissed all over my fucking book. I told myself, “This is the longest thing I’ve ever written. I don’t even know how I’ll finish it.” As I wrote chapters, I repeatedly said, “This chapter is never going to get done.” Throwing negativity at the project wasn’t helping, but I was being honest. Partly, maybe I was afraid of finishing  … “What if no one likes my typescript and I can’t get it published?” or “What if it gets published and no one buys the book.” or “What if it gets published and people buy it, but family members, ex-boyfriends and others I mention in my book all start to hate me for the things I’ve revealed.”

[sigh]

Nothing else to add to that besides a big long sigh, I guess. Whatever. Anyway. I’m working through it.

I’ve now written 11 of my book’s 11 chapters. It’s still not “done.” Some bits are in better shape than others — the most recently finished three chapters still need a lot of work. Like, A LOT. I’m going to spend the next couple of months (maybe more) editing, revising, restructuring the whole thing. After that, I’ll begin pitching agents. So, that’s the scoop. As more news rolls in, I’ll keep you posted.

In the meantime, on a completely different note … As I mentioned on Twitter last night, I’ve kept a written journal since I was in sixth grade. Every now and then, I revisit old entries to remember who I was in grade school, junior high, college or whatever. It’s a lot like flipping through a high school yearbook (”Oh, I remember him … “) Anyway. Thought I’d snap a quick picture of a funny entry from August 1991. My handwriting was much neater then.

C’est tout. My fingers are tired of typing. :( I spent A LOT of time working on the book this weekend.

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Book Update: Rough 1st Draft Is Done

It’s my pin-up shot from the 2009 NYC Sex Bloggers Calendar. Yep, I’m “Miss March.” Read about the project here. And, as a THANK YOU to the lovely Funky Brown Chick readers who log on each day to read my Words o’ Goofdom — even when they aren’t particular exciting, like today — I’ll send a FREE calendar to the first five people who email me their domestic or international mailing address. To email me, go here, scroll down and enter your full contact details. Thanks, again, for reading. More words tomorrow after my fingers have returned from their self-imposed strike.

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Who Wants a Free Sex Bloggers Calendar?