Abiola Abrams

WTF? OMG! Single Black Women Are Gonna Die Alone

Apr 122010

Shall we chat about that ever-shrinking, teeny pool of eligible black men available to successful black women? :) Have you seen the news headlines? ABC news: Why Can’t a Successful Black Woman Find a Man? The Washington Post: Single Black Women Being Urged to Date Outside Race (read: because there aren’t enough good black men). The New York Times says Black Women See Fewer Black Men at the Altar. The Economist writes about Sex and the single black woman. And, Nightline did a full segment on it. THE WRITING IS ON THE WALL, PEOPLE!!!! Successful, single black women are on the fasttrack to spinsterhood. We’ll soon all die alone among legions of house casts lapping up Fancy Feasts of our dead flesh. Or, um, something like that. YeahÂ ;)

I’m interested in these headlines because, of course, I’m a single black woman. Needless to say, NO ONE wants to believe they’re going to die unloved and alone. So, though I’ve been reading this stuff, I don’t get totally freaked out because: I haven’t always been single; intuitively, I know I won’t be on my own forever; I’d like to cohabit (not marry) anyway; and, I’m okay being solo for the moment. That aside, I don’t think the authors of these articles have me in mind anyway. Because, afterall, I’m not a black woman who limits my dating pool exclusively to black men. There are tons of sexy & eligible black, Latino, white, Desi and Asian dudes. Mmmmm, yeah, don’t EVEN get me started on how much I drool over Jon Yongfook. Remember, he was a Testicle Tuesday pick about 16 months ago? Hot. Someone move that boy to New York!!! Anywho. Where was I? Oh, yes. Single black women.

A few of you — male & female, black, white and other — emailed me to ask what I think about the recent media coverage re: Said Plight of Black Women. I’m working on a piece about it. In the meantime, instead of summarizing those thoughts here, you can read what IÂ — along with a fabulous group of women including Latoya Peterson, Abiola Abrams and Sista Toldjah – said when asked: What the hell is up with all these articles about successful, manless black women?! Read Jezebel‘s Steve Harvey Joins Lori Gottlieb, Tells Women To Just Settle Already.

—–
Single Ladies image by Daniela Moreno for Felipe Beiza.

Hot Brown Pssy & Immature White Dck: John Mayer

Relationships 16 Responses »

Feb 112010

At the moment, I’m working on a piece about John Mayer. Quite frankly, I’m wholly uninterested in what he does or doesn’t do with his cock. That said, the brouhaha around his comments in Playboy inspired discussion — and, thereby, my decision to write — about sex & race/ethnicity in general, and interracial fucking in particular. (As most of you know, it’s a topic to which I’ve already devoted much attention.)

Okay, so, on Tuesday, I’m performing at my friend Abiola Abrams‘ reading series, Kiss & Tell Live. I’ll either do a piece about: (A) the first time I ever slept with someone who wasn’t black; (B) my views on interracial dating vis-Ã -vis John Mayer’s recent Playboy interview; or (C) an absurdest, political & completely fictional story about losing my virginity TO John Mayer titled: “Hot Brown P*ssy & Immature White D*ck: Why Can’t Louis Farrakhan and David Duke Just Get Along?” ;) Use the comments to tell me which of the three stories you’d like to hear. Can’t be COMPLETELY sure, but my tentative plan is to post the piece on Funky Brown Chick Tuesday morning and perform it that evening. (That way, you guys get to see it first.) I’ll keep you posted. In the meantime, to give you an idea what the reading will be like, here’s Abiola’s promo video for Kiss & Tell LIVE:

Sexpot Meets Goddess: Drinks with Abiola Abrams

About Women 16 Responses »

Mar 242008

I reject the term “relationships expert” because it sounds silly, and I’m a don’t believe anyone is an expert at relationships. Here’s my theory: if you’re doing it right, you’re a constant work in progress. So, I prefer the title sexpot. I’m a writer | blogger | editor | sexpot who uses the moniker “Funky Brown Chick.” Pressing our lips to glasses filled with margaritas, fellow brown-skinned writer — that goddess Abiola Abrams from BET — and I talked about race, sexuality and what it means to be “black enough” in America today. Read the details when my piece at Nerve magazine is published online later today. And, if you live in New York, drop by Abiola’s 6:00 pm reading tonight at Barnes & Noble at Lincoln Center!!

I’ve got race & sexuality on the brain because I recently read the Racialicious interview with Gawker’s former brown-skinned advice columnist (now at Radar) Tionna Smalls. If you missed the drama, here’s the recap. Gawker hired a black woman whose pieces were flush with grammatical errors, Black Vernacular English and straight-talk lessons learned from “the hood.” Given that Gawker’s audience and writing staff are predominantly white hipsters, people wondered if Tionna’s presence on the scene was a minstrel show. (Read: Who Played Whom? Gawker Media and Tionna Smalls.)

Now, for those who read FUNKYBROWNCHICK.com on a regular basis, you know we usually celebrate Manly Monday at the top of the week. We’ll have Testicle Tuesdays tomorrow instead. Topic? Anderson Cooper’s Sunday night 60 Minutes interview with David Beckham. It was delicious. The Coop and Becks together? Hey, I heard Barack Obama’s speech on race! I’m 100% willing to join that threesome and let the interracial healing begin! ;) Details tomorrow.