On a completely different note … Hope you all had good weekends. I spent much of mine holed up in my apartment working on my book. Saturday morning, I escaped with Rachel and Julie to Tribeca for Billy’s cupcakes, soho for mini-facials at Molton Brown and hanging out at The Highline. My Sunday escape was a lovely dinner party in Harlem (so-called “SoHa“) with my friend The E. Ahhhh, nice, relaxing weekend. Now it’s Monday. Hmmm … I leave for Chicago in a couple days. Too much stuff to wrap up before I go, not enough time to do it. Anyway. More later.
“With the release of two more Michelle Obama-led magazine covers this month, we started to wonder that, if forty is fabulous, what happened to adoration for fifty-year-old women? Seriously, besides this month’s [Essence], which features 45-year-old Obama and her 71-year-old mother, when was the last time you saw a fifty-plus woman on the cover of an American magazine? (AARP doesn’t count, damn it.)”
A couple weeks ago over brunch, a friend who reads this blog and I spent hours gossiping about the younger men we’ve dated. We’re both fans. Fret not. Old dudes are fun, too; and, at a later date, I’ll dedicate a Manly Monday post to the those guys. Anyway. Back to the spry little ones. Dating younger guys is tons of fun. It’s a lot like having a favorite puppy. A sweet, energetic, fun and uncorrupted pup.
Okay, so, lately, I’ve been watching romantic movies about imaginary couples who have The Perfect Love Life I often wish I had — even though I know such a thing doesn’t exist. If you’re in the mood for sexy, interesting flicks about hot younger men and sexy older women pairings, I’ll recommend my top 10 faves:
PRIME: Watch this one if you’ve ever thought, “I soooo don’t get the appeal of younger men.” You’ll get it after this. :) The movie shows the pros and cons. The pros, of course, are extremely delicious.
NOTES ON A SCANDAL: Posh British woman marries an older man and cheats on him with a soccer-playing Irish teen in her school. (Damn that kid is hot; fret not, he’s legal now.) In addition to the older man - younger woman - much younger man trio, there’s a little older woman / younger woman crushing too.
HAROLD AND MAUDE: GILF sex. How could I not include this one??
HOW STELLA GOT HER GROOVE BACK: Believe it or not, I’ve never done the whole “vacation fling.” I’ve had a fling with a dude while he was on his vacation, but never during my own. Must. Take. Vacation. Soon. By the way, I notice this trailer is on MySpace, but not YouTube. I took the embed out because I CAN’T STAND audio and video clips that are set to autostart.
Class: I used to be a huge Rob Lowe fan. That Andrew guy? Not so much.
FOOD OF LOVE: Instead of the older female teacher / younger male student stuff, this one has an older male teacher and younger male student. Hot. I’ve kinda got a thing for guy-on-guy action. Plus, I love Kevin Bishop. See him in this movie, then watch L’Auberge Espagnole. Hard to believe it’s the same guy. Good actor.
RUSHMORE: Damn, this “older female teacher and younger male students” stuff is a common theme. Male Funky Brown Chick readers, tell me: Did ALL of you fantasize about getting it on with your teachers when you were in school?!?
THE GOOD GIRL: This is probably my favorite Jennifer Aniston movie.
THE GRADUATE: Well, hello Mrs. Robinson! Gotta include the old standby, no?
* For the record, I soooo wanted to include Alfie (Jude Law and Susan Sarandon), but I’m saving that one for a different post about the hottest interracial couples. By the way, I haven’t forgotten that I still owe you guys a “How to Hook Up with Hot Black Chicks” post.
“Harold is 20, very rich and very suicidal. Maude is 79Â¾, very poor and so full of a sympathetic life-force that she grieves for a small tree, suffocating in the city’s pollution,” reads the original 1971 New York Times review of Hal Ashby’s cult classic Harold and Maude. Great flick. Rent it if you haven’t seen it. Best part? The hot cougar-on-cub GILF sex scene. Soooo worth it. Wondering “what does GILF stand for?” Let’s just say it’s a grandma I’d like to … “Whaaaaa? He boinks a grandma?” Yep.
Why this topic today? Well, like every Monday here at the brown (funky brown that is), it’s Manly Monday. I wanna talk about younger men who date older womenbecause I recently randomly stumbled upon Wikipedia’s age disparity in sexual relationships page. (EVERYTHING is on that site these days, but that’s a topic for a different post.) Anyway, so, halfway down the page, I see the “motives” section. Factors leading into a search for a younger individual with whom to share an intimate relationship can vary wildly, they say. A common perception is that younger mates serve the purpose of a ‘trophy’, or object of status. Hmmm … methinks they had older men / younger women pairings in mind. After all, no one ever accuses older women who date younger men of hunting for ‘trophy husbands’ do they?
Long ago, circa 2001, I used to think men who lusted after older women had unresolved mommy issues. Now, I don’t believe those dudes are pathological at all. I think some men just like their women older. Period. But, I’m curious … Any guys out there have a preference for older women? Ladies, any of you have a preference for younger men? And, if so, why? I typically like younger men because they’re less likely to have exwives, “my exgirlfriend damaged me” issues, kids or other drama. Y’all know I can’t stand kids — unless, of course, they’re my nephews. But, I digress. So, spill it: Besides the sex, why do you think younger men and older women hook up?
PS: Hope you all enjoyed great weekends!!! In case you were wondering what I did … I spent Friday night chowing on Dos Caminos‘ mole covered enchiladas and sipping margaritas with Kathy, Bro and Nashwa. Saturday, I saw The Last Mistress by myself, brunched at Rafaella in Chelsea with Desiree, went with Rachel and Nichelle to witness Neal Medlyn’s bulge in tighty whities and had Pinkberryfro-yo with Julie followed by drinks with a boy at Turks & Frogs down in the West Village. Sunday, I rested. Brunch with Karlyn and Bro followed by a quiet evening vegging at home.
When I see that Jason wrote that women in their late 20â€™s are “just undatable”, I probably should have stopped reading. Here, lemme explain. You probably already know about Yelp, right? It’s kind of like Facebook meets Citysearch. You can find (or write) great reviews about hot spots in your city and share those reviews with friends and others. If that wasn’t fun enough, hold on to your panties folks because the shit’s about to get even more exciting. You see, the secret about Yelp is this: It’s not just about the reviews. Oh, no. Sometimes our lovely little Yelpers actually delve into discussion about the Wonderful World of Women and Men. Yep, relationships. In fact, almost two weeks ago, a friend brought this discussion to my attention. A chivalrous gentleman by the name of Jason H. writes:
” … [W]omen in their late 20′s are just undatable. The combination of being jaded by failed relationships and dating in a city where they outnumber single men while many of their friends have either gotten engaged or married pretty much makes them into neurotic messes with way too much baggage and loudly ticking biological clocks.”
Oh. My. Dear. Sweet. Little Buddha. But, simmer down people. Before you all write this younger man off as a an official “milf-hater”, let me explain something. According to what he writes on the site, Jason is NOT against dating older women. He likes early 20-somethings, but he also likes cougars in their 30s. The problem seems to be the late 20-somethings; they’re the neurotic ones according to Jason. Of course, not everyone agrees with Jason’s assessments. In fact, a Yelper named Kurt S. plainly states that Jason is, “all kinds of wrong”. Late 20-something women aren’t neurotic, Kurt tells us. “Everyone knows all women are neurotic, not just a certain age group.” Wow. This shit only gets better by the word, doesn’t it? So, there you have it. Head over to Yelp if you’d like to read the rest of the conversation. Swoon as one of the male Yelpers declares that a 30-something women are probably a sexually diseased functioning alcoholics. Consume other morsels of wisdom that are ready and waiting for you on tap at Yelp.com. Meanwhile, here at FUNKYBROWNCHICK.com, Jason H and the other guys from that Yelp online exchange are today’s “Manly Monday” pick.
Yesterday, someone arrived at my blog by googling: how to seduce your grandma. Wanna see? Click here to check out a cropped screen shot from my sitemeter. Wow. How. To. Seduce. Your. Grandma. I’m actually kind of disturbed by that. But, don’t get me wrong. I think it’s FANTABULOUS that more and more younger men are getting all hot and bothered by the older women over 50. But, what exactly *is* it with older women these days? Seriously. If MILFs were all the rage last year, 2007 seems to be shaping up to be the year of the GILFs (grandmother I’d like to…)
I hear people Magazine did a new “beautiful at every age” gallery of older women. (Hey, hasn’t Essence Magazine already been doing that on an annual basis for, like, um, *years*????) But, anyway, I guess people … all people, not just the magazine … are finally starting to realize that women over 50 are H-O-T. Watch out young cubs; urban cougars are on the prowl! So, for those of you young pups out there looking to score some grandma action, here are 5 tips:
1. Be there for her when she screams, “I’ve fallen, and I can’t get up.” Women of all ages love Knights in Shining Amour who will rescue them in their time of need.
2. Get ready to roll with discounts. If you’re used to paying for dinner, drinks *and* the movie, I have three words for you, young buck: Senior. Citizens. Discount.
3. Kick back and let your sugarmama woo you. With the retirement checks rolling in, you could be set to become the next Anna Nicole Smith — of course, that is, *without* the tragic death and the “Who’s My Babydaddy?” drama.
4. Buy plenty of condoms. Don’t be fooled. Sure, dating a GILF means that you can say goodbye to your ‘omg, what if she gets preggers?’ days. But, you still need to keep it safe. Older woman have high sex drives. And, who knows, your GILF could have a raging case of herpes. You don’t want that shit do you?
5. Be prepared to get schooled. Think you got game? That’s only because you’ve been playing around with spry little chicks. You’re gonna be running with the big dogs now. And, you’ll be waaay out of your league young cub. But, fret not. Just sit back. Relax. And, get ready to learn a few tricks of the trade that you never even knew existed.
Maaaaan, I wanna be a GILF when I grow up. How about you? Ladies, do you wanna be GILFs? Fellas, are you crushing on any of the GILFs in the image above?