Yesterday, to relax me, a woman informed me I need to get out of NYC pronto because the world is ending and Manhattan would be underwater no later than December 2009. Wait. Let me give you a bit of backstory … I have a horrible habit of forgetting to pamper myself. I often skip drinking 8 glasses of water per day. Because it’s cold outside, I’m not running as much as I usually do. And, instead of going to bed at a decent hour, I’ve been staying up late and/or wake up early to work on my book (editing, restructuring, strengthening the arc, etc. etc). I need to take better care of myself. So, as a self-congratulatory treat for finishing the first rough draft of my full typescript, I went with two college friends — Mags and Bro — to get a facial and deep tissue massage. (It’s Spa Week in New York.) The facial was awesome; I soooo want to get another one in the future. The woman who massaged me was chatty, friendly and had really strong hands.
I told her I was originally from the Midwest and I’d only lived in New York for a little more than four years. “I’m not sure how long I’ll stay,” I confessed. “I love the city and I certainly feel more at home here than I ever did in Small Town USA. But, I miss having a roomy apartment, greenspace, family and a lot of other things in Illinois that just seemed, you know, healthier. The people were friendlier … more genuine … in the Midwest.”
Her response? “You need to get out of New York!!” She told me I had “demonic” knots in my back and my body was literally shutting down on me due to my fast pace lifestyle in New York. “Save up your money,” she warned, “and use it to move out of this city. I’ve had visions. This place is going to be underwater by the end of the year anyway. Get out while you still can!!!”
Um, okay. Couple thoughts. First: This shit only happens to me. Of course I go in for a relaxing massage only to be told Satan has taken over my back muscles … and, by the way, the world is ending. Second thing: Yes, I’ve not been taking care of myself lately. But, if I’m not doing that in NYC, it’s likely I’ll not do it in other cities too. I need to shift my paradigm about self-care — not just my address. Third thing: It’s important to note this woman isn’t completely looney. New York Post wrote this article about this National Geographic special about Manhattan succumbing to the seas due to a hurricane. But, whatever. Here’s the lesson I’m going to take away from what the masseuse said …
She told me what I needed to hear. You all saw The Matrix, right? There’s this part where Neo goes to see the Oracle. Right after the bald-headed girl says “there is no spoon,” the Oracle tells Neo he’s not the one. Which, of course, isn’t true. So, Neo tells Morpheus and Morpheus writes it off as: “she told you exactly what you needed to hear.”
Should I leave New York? Does Lucifer have a vulcan death grip on my back muscles? Is Manhattan going to be washed away? Maybe. Maybe not. Maybe so. Did that woman TOTALLY FUCKING FREAK ME OUT and cause me to re-evaluate how much I am or am not taking care of myself? Yep. Am I going back to my old habit of making healthier life choices because of it? Absolutely.
Ah, if only it weren’t necessary to constantly “relearn” lessons I already learned ages ago …
