Because I’m in the middle of writing a book about sex & relationships (generally speaking), I pay a ridiculous amount of attention to two things lately: (1) how people choose titles for their creative projects and (2) this thing called “placement.” When you tell folks in the writing industry you’re writing a book, editors, publishers and other people ask the same question: “What is it?” To a writer, this sounds like “What are you writing?” What is it? “It’s a memoir” or “it’s science fiction” or “it’s a book about [fill in the blank -- i.e. turtles, sex or whatever].” But, really, I’m learning this whole “what is it” question is about selling / marketing. The people in the book industry want to know “What makes you think people will actually want to buy your book? What makes it familiar enough that people will ‘get’ it, yet different enough that people will find unique value in it?” Same goes for music, art, film or or creative projects.

For example, at the movies the other day, I saw a trailer for Lakeview Terrace [official site, trailer, IMDB]. Okay, so, you’ve seen Unlawful Entry, right? A crazy cop (Ray Liotta) develops a sickly stalker-like attraction to Michael’s (Kurt Russell) wife Karen (Madeleine Stowe) and the movie turns into a thriller. Question: “What is Lakeview Terrace?” ANSWER: It’s kind of like Unlawful Entry — just with an interracial couple.

Unlawful Entry

Lakeview Terrace

Today, if you ask me the infamous question about my book: “So, what is it?” The most honest answer is: “I’ll be able to tell you once I’ve finished writing it.” I want to write the most honest, interesting and engaging book that I, personally, can write. If I have to use “What OTHER book is it like?” as my starting point, I kind of feel like it kills the uniqueness of my book. They say every story has already been told, and they’re right. “It is not what you tell,” says the gaming blog HDRL, “[it's] how you tell it. That is what renews suspense and interest in a given story.”

For now, I might not know what “it” is, I’m just enjoying the process of writing my love story in my own unique, distintive and creative way.

Technorati Tags: African American writers in New York, interracial dating, Kerry Washington, Kurt Russell, Lakeview Terrace, Madeleine Stowe, Neil LaBute, New York city writers, Patrick Wilson, Ray Liotta, Samuel L. Jackson, Unlawful Entry

Obviously, I have no qualms about interracial dating. Truth be told, I kind of have a “thing” for men with accents. Here on FUNKY BROWN CHICK, I’ve written about French, Dutch, Aussie, and Italian guys and the panty-sniffing Irish guy. I’ve also written about Jews,  Asian dudes and, of course, black men.

“Do you date black guys?” I get asked this question quite often. “When I see a beautiful black woman such as yourself,” reads an email from a FUNKY BROWN CHICK reader named Jason, “or someone that fits that mold, one where she is comfortable with herself, her blackness, and doesn’t have the hang ups that most black women have (ghetto, lack of self-esteem or self-worth) [...] they usually have a white dude on their arm. I have to admit though that some of those are very intimidating because when you see realness, you can’t ‘game’ it. I just wanted to hear your thoughts on that. I know it was kinda random but when I saw pics of you that was my first thought, ’she’s really cute but does she date black dudes?’”

Yes. I date black dudes. When it comes to black women’s relationships, people often assume either/or. EITHER you’re a “real” black woman who dates black men exclusively OR you’re a “sellout” who only dates white guys because of (a) self hatred or (b) desperation / you’re fed up with black men. Where’s the space where black women are allowed to love whoever they love without catching bullshit for doing so?

Okay, so, Paula, a friend from my writing group, gave me a heads up about Tim Alexander’s movie “Diary of a Tired Black Man” screening at 3:15pm this Saturday, Sept. 13th as part of the Urbanworld Film Festival. According to NPR, Alexander claims ‘angry black woman syndrome’ is plaguing brown women. What’s more? Supposedly, the filmmaker actually wonders whether “black women are simply ‘too angry’ to be datable.” Motherfucker, you wanna see angry?!?!? I’ll show your black ass angry. Where’s my mothafucking knife?!?!

Kidding, of course.

But, here’s the part where the jokes stop: I don’t think there’s anything funny, interesting or novel about black men who claim they only date white women because black women are angry. It sounds like an extremely tired and negative argument. (Ditto for black women who say the same about white dudes & black guys. ) I sometimes go out with white — and other ethnic — dudes because I like men. Period. It’s a very positive thing. I don’t do it because I hate black men or because I think the brothers are “angry.”

Is there (sometimes) a certain eroticism about dating someone who’s skin tone doesn’t match your own? Of course. But, that doesn’t always have to be a bad thing. I recently hooked up with a really sweet, tall, blonde-haired, blue-eyed Dutch dude who ran his fingers over my soft, bare, brown thighs in bed as he said “I really like your skin,” blushed and then said: “I do.” He liked the person inside the skin more. I liked him, too. THAT’S what matters.

There. I’ve said all I have to say for now. Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments section.

“Diary of a Tired Black Man” screens at 3:15pm this Saturday, Sept. 13th as part of the Urbanworld Film Festival. Alternative trailer available on the film’s MySpace page. Tickets are $11.75 available online at Fandango

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NOTE: I have an afternoon wedding in Bushwick on Saturday. If the timing works out, I’ll go to the film afterwords.

Technorati Tags: Diary of a Tired Black Man, Dutch guys, funky brown chick, funkybrownchick, hot australian men, interracial dating, NPR, Tim Alexander, Twanna, Twanna A. Hines, Twanna Hines, Urban World Film Festival

My op-ed response to Freakonomics co-author Steven Levitt’s comment that black women who have sex with white men (and/or white women who have sex with black men) produce beautiful babies.

Freakonomics: Interracial Sex Makes Us More Beautiful

Technorati Tags: Freakonomics, funky brown chick, funkybrownchick, Huffington Post, interracial dating, Steven Levitt, Twanna, Twanna A. Hines, Twanna Hines

I love it when readers email me! In my funky brown inbox, y’all have asked me to write about testicles, online dating DOs and DON’T, the “shocker” (two in the pink … ), vegan sex, guys in thongs, how to know if you should trust a guy you’ve met online and a whole bunch of other stuff. I’ve randomly selected 5 emails. YOU lovely folks get to decide which one gets answered in tomorrow’s post:

EMAIL #1: I LOVE BALLS

From: XXXX
Subject: I Like Your Website
To: funkybrownchick@yahoo.com
Date: Sunday, August 3, 2008, 9:52 PM

Hi Twanna,

Something you wrote made me want to write to you. You have links to a couple of videos on testicular cancer self-exams and you wrote “I love balls.” I really liked this because it seems like whenever I hear a woman say anything about balls, nuts, testicles, or whatever one wants to call them, it’s a negative comment.

Balls don’t seem to play a real active role in the sex act, I know (it depends on how one does it, of course), they just sort of hang there or get swung around or back and forth, but without them, there would be no sex, and no sexual reproduction.

Please, please, please write more positive stuff about the testicles on your website.

Thanks,

XXXX

EMAIL #2 & 3: After Dating Online for Nearly I Decade, I’ve Learned …

To: Funky Brown Chick
From: XXXX
Date: Wed, Jan 16, 2008 at 6:02 PM
Subject: blog idea - what are your online dating rules?

Hi FBC,

Since u’r a old hand (read both FBC and Nerve), could you write about your do’s and dont’s of internet dating. I mean do you go through a long communicardo before meeting etc..? Do you go on instincts or do you have strict rules

XXXX

To: FUNKY BROWN CHICK
From: XXX
Date: Mon, Apr 28, 2008 at 5:07 PM
Subject: dear FBC

Hi!

I’m not sure you have the time to answer emails from your blog readers, but i decided to send one anyway :P

I’m XXXXXXX and I’ve been reading and commenting on you for a few months now. I’ve got a quick question for you: What do you really feel about meeting people through websites like nerve personals? Isn’t it weird?

I’ve just signed in to [an online dating site], and i immediately thought of you. You’re beautiful, smart and fun. Still, you’re willing to meet people online. I’m almost sure i would be mocked if anyone i know found out i put a profile on a meeting website. But i’m not ugly, i’m young, smart and fun, but i can’t seem to find any dates (let alone a boyfriend). So i’ve decided to act on it. But i wanted your advice as well.

kisses

XXXXXX

Email #4: How to Pick Up Black Chicks

From: XXXXXX
Date: Jan 27, 2008 4:56 PM
Subject: Press Release - New Book - “The White Man’s Guide To Dating Black Women”

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

If you’re a White man interested in dating Black women, this book shows you how to make it happen. Learn how Black women think, what they like and don’t like to see in White men, and where and how to go about meeting them. Find out how to cope with public reaction to interracial couples, learn how to counteract the psychological inhibitions that can hold you back from getting involved and understand why those who oppose interracial relationships feel compelled to think and act the way they do. Find out what works and get involved.

Email #5: Let Me See Your Booty Go … That Thong, Thong, Thong, Thong, Thong!!

Date: Wed, 26 Mar 2008 12:42:57
From: XXXXXX
To: funkybrownchick@yahoo.com

Hi Twanna,

I stumbled on to your site quite by accident. I find it very entertaining, informative and a bloody good read. Both myself and my partner [redacted] are fans and have added you to our favorites list.

I believe that there are plenty of women who get well turned on by the sight of a “cute thonged up” male bum, butt, buns or whatever you want to call them but wouldn’t admit to it. My [redacted] definitely adores me in mine and buys them for me.

I’ve attached a pic (with [redacted]’s permission) for you. It would be nice to hear back from you but understand that you might be to busy.

Thank you for reading this and we will check out your site regularly.

All the best, cheers.

XXX (englishman living in XXXXX, XX)

There you have it folks! Now, what say you? Which should be tomorrow’s post? Would you rather hear about testicles or, perhaps, male thongs? BONUS: If I write about thongs, the dude gave me permisson to post the picture he attached to his email!!! Or, should I answer the two women and a bunch of others who’ve asked me to share my thoughts about online dating again? Or, would you rather hear my thoughts about interracial dating and the guy’s tips about picking up brown-skinned chicks. Ready. Set. Click the comments link and post your vote!!

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Photo credit: Sophie in Quebec uploaded the mailbox photo.

Technorati Tags: black chicks, funky brown chick, funkybrownchick, Goldenballs, interracial dating, online dating, testicular lumps, Twanna

Rewind to the weekend. I’m out with my friends Ify (African), Rochelle (black American) and Suja (Indian American?) — three brown women originally from different continents. At the end of the night, Suja has the brilliant idea to stop by Insomnia Cookies. Dependable, late night delivery and take out desserts. Delicious smells. Even more delicious tastes. How could you not love that place?! When it’s my turn to order, I choose a chocolate chip cookie with walnuts. “What kind of milk do you want with that?” the Latino guy behind the counter upsells me. “I like my milk like I like my men,” I joke. “White with no fat.” Bursts of laughter erupt from the three women in my group. The Latino cookie dealer doesn’t crack a smile. “He’s not touching that one with a ten foot pole,” Rochelle laughs. She knows I’m joking. The dude gives us our treats. We eat them. We go home. That random conversation doesn’t enter my mind again until I see a reader named Larry’s comment about yesterday’s Manly Monday pick.

Do all of your Manly Monday picks [have to be] white guys? Do you only date white guys? I am not criticizing, I am just curious if you do only date white guys. Does that make you racist towards other races of men? That is the topic of my podcast/blog this week so I am trying to get your input.
[redacted URL]

Oooh, interracial dating! I can talk about that shit for hours. But, before we go there, I wanna set the record straight about Manly Mondays just in case I have new FBC readers who may not already know this stuff:

1. I love men, so I created Manly Monday to give them a nod. All of them. :) Some MM picks are white (recently: Laird Hamilton and Paul Walker). Others — such as Lewis Hamilton, Denzel, Barack Obama, Morgan Freeman [shared with Casey Affleck for Gone Baby Gone], Stroger, and others — are not. And, as I mentioned the other day, the next Manly Monday is gonna be a sexy celebration of Asian Pacific American Heritage Month.
2. The spirit of MMs is a celebration of every Y chromosome thing, not just particular men. Foxtrot your eyeballs to the right. You’ll notice many popular Manly Monday posts are about general guy stuff such as “How to Hide an Erection,” “Should Men Wear Thongs?” and other lovely topics about the bedicked.

Now that we’ve got that cleared up, let’s move to a different subject. The personal stuff. The “do you only date white guys” stuff. (Pssst! I’ve already covered this here and here if you want more details …)

I’ve kissed, licked, sucked and bedded many sexy, delicious white dudes. Hell, I once told a French Canadian ex that I was gonna buy him a box of chocolate-covered cherries “to remember me.” I pictured him using his pink lips to apply pressure to the soft, brown candy’s shell until it gently opened — oozing sweet juices down his chin & revealing the soft, round cherry hidden inside. He liked the visual on that one.

Anyway. Where was I? Oh, yeah … White dudes. Do I date them exclusively? Nope. I have a very loooong, extensive dating history. I’m not seeing anyone exclusively right now, but I’ve gone out with: white, black, Latino, Jewish, Middle Eastern, etc. etc. men.

“So, funky brown,” some of you might say. “If you don’t only date white guys, what was with the milk joke at Insomnia Cookies?”

Honestly? Shock value. (Juvenile, I know.) I was with a group of amazing women. It was the end of the night. We were tipsy. I was feeling a little punchy; so, I wanted to put the dude behind the counter on his toes. For better or worse, the topic of interracial dating still has that effect.

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RELATED MEDIA:

Who gets down with the funky brown? Everybody. :) FUNKYBROWNCHICK.com readers are fiercely loyal and steadily growing in number. I love my readers! Approximately 72% are really cool peach folks (there are more peach people online), and the site attracts about twice the internet average for brown people. Asian, Latino and international visitors are steady regulars at the party, too. Full disclosure? Getting down with the funky brown has universal appeal, baby! :)

RELATED BOOK CHOICE OF THE DAY:

RELATED LINK OF THE DAY:

Loving Day: Celebrate the legalization of interracial couples.

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Photo credit: The ever-fabulous brown American photographer in the Netherlands, Rachel James, took the milk and cookies photo.

Technorati Tags: black women, chocolate-covered cherries, funky brown chick, funkybrownchick, Insomnia Cookies, interracial dating, Rachel James, Rainbow Fucking Queen, white dudes

Ready? Cue the completely 100% politically incorrect blog post. Brown loves yellow. Well, at least that’s what a dating site for black and Asian singles — brilliantly called cocoabutterlove.com ( … Get it? Cocoa = brown = black people + Butter = yellow = Asian people …) — is banking on. I think they’re on to something. Hell, if you and I are friends on Facebook, you already know that I’ve recently joined the groups: Asian Men that ♥ Black Women, You and Me…..We could make BLASIANS!, A.B.A. (AsIaN BlAcK AlLiAnCe), and of course Everyone ♥’s an Asian Boy.

A while ago, my friend Karen — a proper, bourgie black chick in Chicago — embarked on a relationship with a sexy Asian-American man. “OMG, Karen,” I told her, “You know you’re gonna be known as that black girl with the Asian boyfriend, right? That’s totally gonna be your new title when people identify you. ‘You know … Karrrreeen … my friend with the Asian boyfriend.’“Clearly, she didn’t get the memo. Chicago is segregated as hell.

That’s one of the many reasons why I live in New York City.

Speaking of New York, last night my eyeballs love love LOVED looking at the sexy Asian-American (?) bartender with dreadlocks at In the Flesh Erotic Reading Series at Happy Ending Lounge on the Lower East Side. He used his strong arms to shake my cocktail before placing the filled, chilled glass on the bar. I wished he would’ve doused my warm brown skin with the liquid then licked it off with his soft tongue as I played with his dark hair. He oozed sex appeal. Now, before anyone accuses me of having yellow fever or some stupid shit like that, let me say this … As a black woman who has tasted delicious dudes from Northern Irish flavors to my fellow, brown-skinned American yummies, I love men. ALL (attractive) men. I haven’t had an Asian American boyfriend yet, but here are five reasons I think it’s time for the Asian-American male community to get down with the brown:

1. THE HAROLD & KUMAR MOVIES ARE THE NEW FRIDAY. Kal Penn? Fucking sexy. John Cho. Cutie pie. Buh-bye Chris Tucker and Ice Cube. Friday is so yesterday.

2. IT’S TRENDY. In the 80s, interracial dating meant “a black man dating a white woman.” America is over it. OJ Simpson killed it. Literally. (Kidding, of course!!!) The newest, freshest interracial pairings are all about black women lovingly interlacing differently shaded fingertips between our own.

3. IT’S SMART. NO REALLY, IT IS. Want a stupid stereotype? Asian men are smarter. Want another one? Successful black women are more likely to be single because all the black men are either unemployed, lazy, in jail or lazily unemployed in jail. I say fuck the folks who say shitty things about Asian men and Black women. Better yet? Asian men and black women should fuck each other … in bed, or against a wall, or on the floor … Yum!

4. WE BOTH BELONG TO MINORITY COMMUNITIES. Backing the political rantings of bloggers like Angry Asian Man with the strength of march-happy female EBPs? It could be powerful. We could change the world! Or, at the very least, we can supply it with very beautiful BlAsian babies.

5. BECAUSE I SAID SO. Folks, if you hear something on FUNKYBROWNCHICK.com, take it as gospel. Now, quick, somebody please help Funky Brown Chick find Sexy Asian Man.

——————–
Photo credit: “You and Me … We Could Make Blasians” Facebook Group

Technorati Tags: Asian men, black women, blasian, blasian men, blasians, blogger, Chicago, dating blog, dating trends, Facebook, funky brown chick, funkybrownchick, interracial dating, John Cho, Kal Penn, New York, sexy asian man, tastemaker