May 192009
 

As I already mentioned on Twitter yesterday morning, last night’s plans included stopping by Anna David‘s private launch party for her new novel Bought. Kudos to Anna for a smash hit party!!! Damn it seemed like EVERYONE was there. Page Six even showed up. A chick who either was Emily Gould or looked a helluva lot like her was mingling in the crowds. Tons of familiar faces. LA people. New York people. People who know people. Me? I’m probably a horrible networker because, for the most part and as usual, I spent the whole night talking to people I already knew: Jahfurry (I wish I could’ve made it to the afterparty to hear him and his band), Nick (who’s got tons of pics from the party already posted on Random Night Out), Jamye (I can’t believe she’s leaving us and moving to LA!), Anna (who looked GORGEOUS in her little black dress) and Rachel (who, by the way, is soooo awesome because she returned from Europe with a CHOCOLATE housewarming gift for me.) Given the choice between making small talk with people I don’t know or catching up with folks I adore, I’d rather hang out with my friends. Granted, talking to new people could lead to new friendships. I know this and I’m working at getting better.

I like the picture Nick took of me and Rach. Apparently my cardio is working. This red shirt used to be fitted, now it looks like I’m swimming in it. Time to buy a new one and/or stick this in the dryer longer after the next wash.

Random Night Out - Rachel Kramer Bussel and Twanna A Hines

This Summer: Twanna’s Big Bikini Reveal!!!! In the meantime, if you want to see more fully clothed images, Nick shot great photos of him and Anna, Jeff and Anna, Jamye and me and of course Michael and Anna. Ah, Michael Malice — a Ruskie so deliciously wonderful and PERVERTED he deserves his own FBC post.  ;) Okay, enough about the kickass launch party and more about the book. Full disclosure: I know and adore Anna. So, of course I want her novel to sell really well. I haven’t read Bought in its entirety yet, but it sounds super interesting. To get a taste, you can read the first chapter here. How much do I love it that Bought opens with the James Brown lyric / quote, shake your money maker?!  :) “Here’s how I see it,” Anna explains on her site. “[I]n the same way we don’t go into an interview, utter brilliant asides, and later think, ‘I really used my intelligence to nail that interview,’ we tend not to give much conscious thought to the ways we use our sexuality to get what we want.” She goes on to say that she’s “worked with agents who have made it perfectly clear that they were far more interested in what was between my legs than in what was between my ears.”

A while ago, I attended the New York premiere of  Steven Soderdergh‘s film The Girlfriend Experience at the Tribeca Film Festival. (My article about that is still in the can; it’s one of three on of my List of Outstanding / Overdue Pieces.) Anyway, at that event someone brought up that quote that goes something like ‘capitalism is just another version of prostitution.’ Soderbergh responded, “Life is just a series of transactions. We all want something.” True. Or is it? I mean, yeah, I’ve totally used my sexuality to get my way with men. A short black dress, the right pair of 4′ heels and deep red lipstick opens lots of doors — literally and figuratively speaking. Hmmm … You should take Anna’s “quiz” to find out if you can be bought. Also, feel free to use the comments section below to tell me: Do you think you’ve ever been bought? Have you been buying? And, if so, how?

Jun 112008
 

I am not a slut. I shared a bed with two people at the same time, and it was fun. So, I wrote about it. Period. I was gonna write about it again with more details, but then I noticed aftershocks I wasn’t sure how to interpret. “Twanna,” wrote one of my Facebook friends, “you are a freak, freak, freak.” A close friend said the threesome was “gross” and, later when talking about a bunch of folks crashing at my house in the near future, she added, “I’m sleeping on the floor. If you guys all wanna cuddle up together that’s your own business.” A dude I met twice at networking events sent me a clip on YouPorn after reading my blog. [That link is obviously NSFW because, dude, it's YouPorn.] A few folks scoffed “yeah right” when I told them it was my first threesome experience. Then, of course, there were the two participants. When the girl and the girl emailed the boy the morning after, he didn’t write either back. At a random party, the girl, the girl and the boy pretended not to see each other while standing less than 5 feet away for damn near an hour. What the hell is going on? I wondered. We’re still just talking about sex, right? It’s just sex. Is that so wild and crazy?

“Believe it or not,” I told one of my guy friends (one of the sweetest men in the world), “I’m actually much less scandalous than everyone thinks I am.” Ever the deep and introspective genius, he responded, “It’s not so much about being scandalous. It’s just that you’re a major extrovert & somewhat free from social fetters; that combination, imho, usually allows greater opportunities for sexual experimentation.” Rachel tells me, “People don’t know what to do with you. They’re uncomfortable with the idea that someone can be extremely comfortable with their sexuality and a ‘good girl’ at the same time. But, let’s face it, neither of us is considered wholesome – for whatever that word means nowadays.

I can’t change who I am. Even if I could, I wouldn’t want to. So where does that leave me? Honestly? Sobbing while walking alone east on 42nd Street between Lex and 3rd Avenue at 12:32am this morning. I’d just returned from Jahfurry‘s birthday party. It was a great night filled with amazing live music, reggae dancing, tons of interesting people, a really good appetizer plate of bacon-wrapped scallops with BBQ sauce and a guitarist who I honestly thought might throw his instrument down and fuck a random birthday girl in front of all of us. It was a great night. When the party was over, Rachel and I walked toward Grand Central to catch separate trains to our respective homes. We talked about boys, dates, love lives and the way that people perceive sexual women. Why the hell is it so fucking hard to find a man who can handle an extroverted, outgoing, sexually comfortable woman without getting totally fucking freaked out? I’m just looking for a decent guy who isn’t so fucking insecure. Is that too much to ask? I wanted to cry. And, once Rachel and I parted, that’s exactly what I did.

Maybe I intimidate men. Maybe my personality places me squarely on the fringe. Maybe, woulda, shoulda, coulda, I really don’t fucking care anymore. I can’t keep thinking about this shit because it’s driving me crazy. So, I’m going away this weekend. One of my friends’ parents have a place in the Hamptons. A few of us are gonna spend time on the beach and take a break from this fucking city, from life. I swear if anyone in our group asks me questions about the threesome when I’m out there, I just might fucking drown ‘em.

It was just sex. That’s all. Nothing more, and certainly nothing less.

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Photo credit: Tomas Lara

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