If the video does not appear above, view it using this link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HxymHJNI9Iw

Technorati Tags: BoyStories, dates, dating, dating blogs, kiss, kisses, kissing, sexual tension, Twanna, Twanna A. Hines, Twanna Hines

I’m still on jury duty. I’ll blog the specifics once the case is over. In the meantime, I promised you a kissing story. 2 Boys + 2 Girls = 8 Juicy Lips. Picture this: New York City. A couple months ago. I meet my friend Irene in this tiny, dingy place near Times Square with stained glass paneling decor that serves up pub food like crunchy french fries & red ketchup on cold white plates. When I arrive, I see sexy Irene perched on a brown wooden stool. She’s flanked by two Dutchmen I’ll simply call Alex and Jorrit because they gave me permission to use their real first names.

Alex is typically Dutch — very tall with thick blonde hair and thin lips. He’s “appropriate” in his introduction, shaking my hand firmly & dotting the gesture with a warm smile and extended blink. Though he’s covering his body with denim jeans and a white polo shirt, I assume the 30-something gentleman wears a suit on weekdays and works in finance. “I am Alex,” he greets me in accented English. “Ik spreek wel Nederlands, hoor,” I respond politely telling him it’s okay to speak his mother tongue. “Wij kunnen in het Nederlands praten.” His face brightens. Everyone loves to be spoken to in their own language.

Alex’s wingman/sidekick/friend is called Jorrit (pronunced kinda like tag, you’re it.) The tagman seems an inch or two taller than his friend, more expressive with his hands and extremely flirty. But, I don’t think Jorrit is trying to pick anyone up. He just seems like the deliciously horny type who enjoys the best of life’s pleasures — fashion, women, fine wines, tasty beers, and well-prepared international cuisines. Hmmm … Trouble. I kinda have a “thing” for the Dutch. Irene and I both lived in Holland (that country where you’ll find Amsterdam). If my memory serves me well, we teased the Dutch boys like this in Midtown that day:

Irene: “Dutch boys can’t kiss for shit!”
Twanna: “Maybe, that’s true … But Dutch boys typically have really nice lips!” [ Exhibit A , B , C and OMFG!!! ]
Irene: [laughs] “Imagine that! You’ve got the tools, but you don’t know how to use them?”

Fast forward to the present. I hope you’re all sitting down for this, because what I’m about to say is really really very important. I think EVERYONE who reads Funky Brown Chick should know how to kiss. It’s a skill. It’s not that difficult to master, but once you’ve got your advanced lip and tongue muscle maneuvers down, you’ll notice a HUGE difference in your sex & dating life. Soooooooo, without further ado, I present you with detailed instructions courtesy of wikiHow’s “How to French Kiss” as well as VideoJug’s action-packed kissing video. Enjoy!

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NOTE: No kisses were exchanged during my time with Jorrit, Alex and Irene. Irene and I are friends, and Alex & Jorrit were visiting tourists that I didn’t see again. We all swapped emails, and Alex recently sent me a message casually mentioning the boys noticed I never wrote about them. Well, voila! Genieten van de “kissing video” en groeten vanuit New York!!  :)

Technorati Tags: dating, dating blogs, Dutch guys, funky brown chick, funkybrownchick, how to kiss, kissing, New York City, NYC, relationships, sex, Twanna A. Hines

I had my first threesome with two friends last night. Needless to say, that is so tooooootally not how I expected yesterday evening / this morning to turn out. I went to a party. Innocent enough, right? I left that party and went to a different party. Friends were there. We left, and I met up with other pals on the way out. Time passed. Kisses exchanged. Flesh groped flesh. A handsome, younger boy in our group got really aroused. He glanced in our direction again, and I saw unmistakable desire painted on his face like makeup. I could tell he was watching us and it was torturing him; he wanted to participate. We all knew each other, and we were adults. So, never to be accused of subtly, I asked the boy: “What are you doing tonight?” He was shy, so he blushed and said he didn’t know. I asked more directly: “Would you like to come home with us?” His voice quivered as he quickly whispered “y-y-yes.” The two girls cared about their messy apartments, but the boy didn’t mind his. In the yellow cab ride to his place, we got an early start while the driver took sneak peeks in the rear view mirror. Later, in the privacy of the boy’s apartment with six bare legs and arms rolling on the mattress, we pleased each other throughout the night and again early this morning. Ever the gentleman, the boy took us at the same time, then one by one. Seriously? It was hot. Really fucking hot.

To last night’s playmates (you know who you are) … Thank You.

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Photo credit: Image of three apples is by Jean Scheijen

Technorati Tags: fuck buddies, groping, kissing, sex, sleeping with friends, threesome, threesomes

Did you know that the human body supposedly has over 8,000 nerve endings? Although most people get it on by stimulating dorsal nerves, there are tons of nerve endings in other places that are often neglected. And, those places are pretty sensuous. In case you missed it in yesterday’s comment section, I once licked a bald man’s head. And, yes, the scalp is one of my favorite neglected sensuous areas. A few other favorites include: behind the knee, the bottom of my feet, along my spine, my palm & finger tips, my wrist, the side of my waist and behind my ears. I go CRAZY when men stroke, lick, or suck any of these areas.

But, for now, my all-time-favorite sensuous place is below the neck, right above the place in between my shoulder blades. No one ever touches that area. So, when they do … oh boy. I. LOVE. IT. Last summer, I was wearing a backless sundress on the L train heading west from Union Square when a totally gorgeous guy entered the train. He was holding some big bag, like an instrument or hockey sticks or something. I’m not exactly sure what it was; the train was crowded. Anyway, the train started and then came to a quick stop. The guy stumbled a bit and the cloth of his bag touched my all-time-favorite spot. I got goose bumps all over and I wanted to jump the man right then and there. And, once the train started up again, I stepped back an inch or two so that the bag would continue to hit my spot. Does that make me a perv?

Use the comment section to let me know if you think I am a perv. KIDDING!! No, really, use the comments to let us know one of *your* All-Time-Favorite Spots. Keep it PG-13, folks; some of you guys are at work.

Technorati Tags: funky brown chick, funkybrownchick, kiss, kissed, kissing, Twanna A. Hines