If you’ve read this blog for a while, you already know I’m a sex, dating and relationships writer in New York City. “Oooh, so you’re like Carrie Bradshaw!!” people often tell me. “Well,” I answer, “not quite.” I don’t live in a huge apartment. I don’t wear Manolo Blahniks. I get my most of my shoes from DSW, and I take shopping tips from the Budget Fashionista. My life in New York is good, but it’s nowhere near as glam as the fictitious writer on the show Sex and the City makes the NYC publishing world out to be.

I’m paid by the word when I do freelance gigs … and that’s when/if I get paid. Seriously, $1/word is an industry standard (e.g. Write a 500-word article, get $500. Write a 1,500-word article, get $1,500). So, needless to say, like most of the writers I know, I have a day gig to pay the bills while I spend my nights and weekends cranking out articles. I write because I was born to do it, not because I wanna get rich. I’ve written for Nerve, Lifetime, Gen Art, Fast Company and others. Also, little sprinkles of me have been in Glamour magazine and Time Out New York. (See bio, press and my print, online & video work if you want details.) I’ve gossiped about the boys in my life — or lack thereof — since I was a child. I’ve written about guys in my private journals since I was 14 years old, and I have boxes of dated, bound books to prove it. In high school, I wrote articles for the school newspaper and I was a writer on the yearbook staff. You get the point: I love to write words.

So, I was really happy when NPR asked me to come on one of their shows and talk about dating and general, and this blog in particular. Farai Chideya had me as a guest on News & Notes — a show about African-American life, politics and culture. We talked about my favorite topic: sex & dating. Listen to it now:

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=90776368

By the way, returning to the topic of Sex and the City for a second, it you want a more realistic view of what it feels like for me to put my private life on public, check out any of the following posts: My Family Found My Blog, Should Men Wear Thongs?, Who is More Gangster - Stolie* or the Mouse?, 2 out of 3: Apartment, Boy, Job and New York City 3, Me 0. Game Over? Hardly! Also, for yet another perspective about putting yourself “out there” online, be sure to check out Emily Gould’s essay, Exposed — the new Sunday Times Magazine cover story that picked up 800+ user comments.

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NOTE: Before I used my real name online, I was an anonymous blogger called “Stolie.”

Technorati Tags: Budget Fashionista, Emily Gould, Farai Chideya, New York Times, News & Notes, NPR, Sex and the City, Twanna A. Hines

Given our recent discussion (see: Monday’s comments section) about single life, I thought I’d share a New York Times article excerpt with y’all:

[A] new Web site, SingleEdition.com, wants nothing more than to embrace [singles]. And unlike dating sites that treat being single as a predicament, this one celebrates flying solo, and offers shopping, financial and other advice to help them do so with pride.

“If you Google the term ‘single,’ all that comes up is dating, dating, dating,” said Sherri Langburt, a founder of SingleEdition.com. “But what we’re saying is there’s a whole other realm of things that go on for a single person that are not dating.”

Articles on the site give advice on how to entertain in small apartments (have cheese- or chocolate-tasting parties instead of sit-down meals), how to cook for one (try freezing homemade soup in ice trays to simplify defrosting single portions) and how to select gifts for other singles (perhaps an audio book or a G.P.S. device to help a solo driver).

[Continue Reading]

Swing over to SingleEdition.com for all kinds of great info about you own personal table for one. Ah, the singles life. I have my ups and down. I make mistakes. I sometimes feel lonely. I date men I probably shouldn’t, and I think I self-sabotage relationships without even knowing that I’m doing until months (sometimes years) later. That said, I still wouldn’t trade my single and dating life for anyone else’s. So, if you like SingleEdition.com, check out my Q&A interview. Yep, they got down with the funky brown!!!! Read: Chocolate, wine tasting and museum visits. No wonder Twanna has fallen in love with single living! And, speaking of chocolate, tonight I’ve been invited to a special chocolate tasting down by Wall Street. Yum! Wanna come? I’ll Twitter the details. Follow along with me.

Technorati Tags: New York, New York Times, Sherri Langburt, Single Edition, single life, single women, singles, singles in NYC

Sometimes it’s hard to remember that New York isn’t the center of the universe. Such was the case on Sunday when I cracked open a fresh copy of the New York Times (…online, by double clicking the orange and blue Firefox icon). Julia Allison. “Maybe, just maybe,” Leslie Kaufman’s article starts, “if Carrie Bradshaw, the dynamo at the center of the phenomenally successful television series ‘Sex and the City,’ were still in her 20s and just starting her ascent into New York life in 2008, maybe, just maybe, she would be like Julia Allison.”

“Are you shitting me?” I asked my laptop’s computer screen. “Julia Allison™ is in the Times?”

Full disclosure: although I hail from the same Midwestern locale that she does, I don’t know Julia Allison. I’ve recently spotted her across the room at various parties, but we’ve not yet met. Nevertheless, almost everyone I know has a J-Al Story. “She saved me a seat at XXX event” or “she came to our XXX party” or “yeah, I went to her birthday party” or “oh God, she went to New Trier and that explains everything.” It kinda feels like I’m in high school again and everyone wants to tell me their tale about the popular girl. But, this isn’t high school. It’s real life, adult life. So, the rules change a bit. Our “it” girl isn’t a cheerleader; she’s a columnist for one of the community’s weekly listings magazine, Time Out New York. And, sure, the daily newspaper just did a story about her. But, the “local paper” has more than 1 million readers. It’s the Gray Lady. The New York Times. The largest metropolitan newspaper in the United States.

“If Carrie Bradshaw were coming to New York today,” the Times quotes Julia, “she would be me.”

Self-aggrandizing? Maybe. But, here’s the thing … Is she 100% right? Probably. In fact, nearly everyone who writes words about dating gets compared to Carrie Bradshaw. My personal favorite? Folks who’ve called me Carrie Brownshaw or Carrie Blackshaw. Ooh, ooh, ooh … and let us not forget this lovely comment:

Can’t you be a bit more original … your not CARRIE BRADSHAW!!!…me thinks you’ve been watching way too much Sex and the City, your blog entry is bordering on plagiarism. Been reading your blog here and at Nerve and have noticed over the past couple of weeks and finding your tales very unbelievable. FBC used to be a good read, but I fear she is slowly disappearing up her own a-hole to please her growing audience and popularity.

I climbed out of my own asshole long enough to respond:

Regarding your Carrie Bradshaw comment … Many people live in New York City. Many people date here. And, they all have stories. That doesn’t mean that every New York dating story = Sex in the City. I think Rachel Kramer Bussel said it best. “I’ll be thrilled,” she writes on one of her blogs, “if no one ever makes a totally lazy, ridiculous Carrie Bradshaw comparison ever again.” If I’ve learned anything about New York in the two years that I’ve lived here, [I've learned] that New Yorkers value originality. Please respect mine. And, if you are going to criticize my writing, please be original in your criticism.

That is what it is. Whatever. The Carrie stuff doesn’t bother me; I actually think it’s kind of entertaining of humorous. But, back to Julia Allison. Yesterday, I commented that the Times piece was a “great article about New York life.” Indeed it is. Hmm, a girl from Illinois moves to the Big City with dreams of doing something more with her life than marching in step with the rest of the crowd? Yeah, I can certainly relate. How does that song go? “If you can make it here …”

Near the close of the article, the Times writer says, Julia is committed to “reaching for the gold ring, no matter how many time she is slapped back.” I say: as long as she isn’t hurting (or disrespecting) others or herself, let the girl reach I guess. Everybody’s got dreams, and Julia definitely seems to be going for hers. Kudos to her for making it into the New York Times.

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* By the way …. I’m only following up on this story because I said, “more later” yesterday. Now, back to our regularly scheduled program. Manly Mondays (or Testicle Tuesdays) coming up soon.

Technorati Tags: Carrie Blackshaw, Carrie Bradshaw, Carrie Brownshaw, Illinois, Julia Allison, Leslie Kaufman, New Trier Township High School, New York Times, Sex and the City, Time Out New York

I just checked out today’s NY Times and I noticed a fellow New York sex/dating/relationships writer & blogger, Julia Allison, is featured in the city section. Read it here. It’s a great article about New York life. More on that later. (Here it is: Julia Allison in the New York Times.) I’m heading out to meet up with V. for movie & drinks. Have a happy Sunday my lovelies!

Technorati Tags: Julia Allison, New York Times